The Edge of Desire

[dr_mabeuse]

Her apprehension over what he would think of her was put to rest when he entered. She feigned indifference as he entered but as she turned she caught his reflection in the window as he looked at her and the pride and pleasure were obvious in his eyes. For all her experience she could not remember a man ever looking at her like that, with such carnal appreciation, and his look thrilled her more than she would have thought possible.

"I have something for you, Annette." he said, and he produced a jewelry box from his pocket. She took it in trembling fingers and opened it. Inside was an elegant chain of silver with a simple onyx pendent, beautifully crafted.

"This is symbolic of the collar you wear for me." he said as he fastened it around her neck. He took her choulders and pulled her back against him and felt that he was already hard, His lips found the back of her neck, and then his teeth, and she felt like she'd been captured by an animal, his lust was so wild and feral.

He let her go and helped her on with her coat, and by the time they got in the car her legs were shaking.

He was relaxed with her, even jovial, making small talk, complimentinmg her on her appearance, even holding her hand in the car. She found this side of him a bit perplexing. Already she was growing accustomed to following his orders and being used for sexual gratification. Compared to that, this less demanding form of social interaction seemed pale and almost hypocritical to her, almost disappointing.

He took her to a rerstaurant known as the watering place of the city's social set: Nick and Betty's. In spite of it's plebian name, the food and the crowd were anything but common, and she immediately recognized some faces in the crowd from local television and the arts.

She realized that he was showing her off, and that lent a certain sense of excitement to her mood. Certainly no one had ever showed her off like this before, nnot for her physical gifts, her poise and grace. And yet he wouldn't have brought her here if he hadn't wanted her to be seen.

He introduced her to several people, using her full name, and now for the first time she learned his full name too, but not from him: Darius Esterhaze. The name was vaguely familiar, the way he let her learn it was a surprise. He saw the shock on her face and smiled knowingly at her. "Tonight we may speak freely." he said as they were shown to their table. "Up to a point."

They sat ion a banquet in a darkened corner of the restaurant, from which they could see the floor, and he told her who many of the people were. He ordered for them bnoth, and as they sipped their cocktails, the mood of the place seeped into her. She felt elegant and slightly mysterious. And every time she looked at Darius his eyes were on her. She was aware of her nipples brushing against the fine fabric of her dress, and the nakedness of her sex beneath it.

"Now," he said, "I suppose you have some questions, some comments, things you might like to discuss. Whyt don't we do that now, while the evening's young, because we won't be able to talk later. I have some things planned for later. Some special things."

 

[Annabelllee2003]

The offer to speak freely… she doesn’t even hear that right away. What she hears is the last. I have some things planned for later…some special things. That alone is enough to cause a delicate shudder that radiates from her pussy outward. Then she plays the rest in her mind, she realizes that yes, she has quite a few comments and questions.

“I assume that while I slept the other night that you read my journal.” At his nod she continues, “That being said then you really know what my questions and thoughts are, and you know my confusion.”

He remains noncommittal, merely letting her speak.

“You’ve said things to me, things that don’t make sense. The second night we… were together you said I make you want to do things to me that’s why I need to be punished. That you beat me because I want to be your… slave. I don’t understand.” Her hand strays to the necklace, unaccountably and quite unconsciously feeling the collar.

“I don’t know your motivation. I don’t know mine. I don’t know why these feelings are in me and why it feels good to be used, hit.” She sighs and amend her statement, “No, it feels necessary.”

As more impressions become apparent she continues. “I look around this room and see at least 4 or 5 clients of mine. Yet not one of them acknowledges me except with a wave. It’s as though I am a possession of yours, nothing in my own right. This confuses me as well. I should be outraged that I am merely an appendage. A well dressed appendage,” this earns a sardonic smile from him, “but still, just reflection of you.

“But I’m not outraged. It’s …nice to not …” she struggles with the thought, “…be in control.

“Anything …Mr. Esterhaze, that you could tell me, I’d appreciate at this point. Or maybe I should just let it go. I can try, but that’s not really part of my makeup, letting go. I need to know …the motivations. I have to be able to make sense of it or I’ll go insane with it.”

Annette reaches for her cocktail and drains it. Some of the heaviness of spirit that has plagued her is released by her confessions. He stares at her with a quizzical expression and she thinks he’s not going to answer. Unexpectedly he leans toward her, a finger under her chin to lift her mouth. The kiss he gives her is so tender, so softly sensual it makes her tremble.

“See? That is what I am talking about.” With this he starts laughing and she smiles, not really getting what’s so funny.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

"Sorry," he says. "We tend to be so serious in what we do, so locked in to our roles..."

He waits as the waiter sets down their food and opens the wine and pours him a glass. He tastes it, nods, and the wine is poured.

When the waiter and somelier have left, he continues.

"I know what you want. You want me to explain all this to you. You want me to give you some way to understand it. But I don't think I can do that. I can tell you what I feel when I'm with you, when I think about you, when we're...engaged, but I don't think I can explain it for you.

"You see, I think we are dealing with things that are beyond explaining. Things that are so primal, so deep in our nature, that it is like trying to explain fear, or joy."

"But those can be explained." she says. "We fear things that can harm us, we feel joy when we're happy."

"No." he says "You're explaining the cause, not the feeling itself. You could just as well say that I feel excitement when I have you tied up and helpless before me. That doesn't explain the excitement itself. There is just something in the idea of you held captive, open and vulnerable to me and willing to be taken and used for my pleasure, that excites me on a very, very deep level."

She looks up and meets his eyes as he says this, and she feels a surge of hot excitement, unexplainable to herself, barely understood but undeniable.

"My own theory," he says, "is that we are both very sexual people. What we are engaged in is a ritualized expression of our deepest sexual impulses. I believe that men and women are different; very different, especially in their approach to sex. In an archetypal sense, a man's most primal expressions come out as domination and control, often violent. You may think of that as a characature of the male sexual impulse: exagerated, but basically true to the mark. The female's primal sexual expression is submission, passivity, being used and possessed. That is a characature of her behavior.
"I believe that we all carry these archetypal ideas around within us. They are covered by thick layers of learned behavior, of empathy, of those things that make us civil human beiings. But beneath those layers, the archetypes remain.
"What we are engaged in, you and I, is an exploration of those archetypes. A ritualized expression of these primal needs."

She puts down her fork and looks at him, anger rising to her face. "You know, I wouldn't listen to such offensive nonsense from anyone else but you."

He glances at her. "You're only angry because you think that these roles put you in some sort of inferior position. You misunderstand. We're not engaged in a fight for status here. Though it might seem that we are. What it's really about is expressing these needs."

"All of us have parts of our lives that we want to be in control of," he says, "and parts where we would gladly give up control to someone else. There's nothing shameful about this. It's who we are."

She is still upset. She realizes that he has put his finger on her dilemma: she can't deny that she loves what he puts her through, but at the same time she hates it and is ashamed, because it makes her feel inferior, and inferiority is not a feeling she is comfortable with.

'"You answered my ad because you were curious." he went on. "You're a very attractive woman, intelligent, capable. You have a life that would be the envy of almost anyone. But you felt unfulfilled in some respects. Your need for passion, for sexual and emotional excitement. You had male friends. You had lovers. Why didn't they satisfy you?"

She thought it was a rhetorical question and so didn't answer until she realized that he was waiting for a response. "Who said they didn't satisfy me?" she asked.

He continued eating. "Did they make you feel anything close to what I make you feel? Did you go through the day unable to stop thinking about them? Did you tremble with desire whenever they touched you?"

She put down her knife and fork. She was very angry now, angry at him and angry at herself. "So you think I like this? Being used like this, being shown off in front of these peoeple as your toy?"

"For God's sake calm down." he said, giving her a dark look. "And the answer is yes, you do. You love it, and you hate yourself for it."

She was angry ewnough to stand up and leave then, but he held her with his eyes. There was anger in his eyes as well now, and it was of a magnitude that frightened her and made her suddenly weak.

She felt his hand on her thigh beneath the table. "Open your legs." he said.

She resisted, and he pinched her leg. "Open them!" he hissed at her, and she did as he said, spreading her knees apart beneath the table cloth.

She felt his hand work its way under her dress, up her thigh to her pussy, where he probed her with his finger. She was still damp, but her anger had made her clench, refusing his advances.

He calmly dipped his finger into his wine and put his hand under the table again. The wine lubricated his finger enough that he was able to slide into her, to find her clit and slide over it, bringing a sympathetic gush of wetness from her body.

She hated herself for responding. She felt that all eyes were on them, that everyone could see what he was doing to her and see her inability to stop him. She fluihed with shame.

"You take things too personally." he said slowly. "Perhaps it wasn't wise to try and speak to you as an adult. You're not ready yet."

He reached into his breast pocket and took something out. He showed it to her surreptitiously, just opening his hand eneough for her to see. It was a pink plastic cylinder, no larger than the tip of her index finger. A thin plastic coated wire emerged from one end for a couple of inches or so.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked her. "It's a vibrator. It goes inside you. It's remotely controlled. When I press the button in my pocket, you'll feel it inside you.
"I want you to put in inside you."

She looked at him. "Now? Here?"

He nodded. "Yes. Right here, right now."

 

[Annabelllee2003]

The anger she felt is quickly replaced by fear and shame. Annette glances down at his hand, unable to take it from him at first. The pinch he gave her leg still throbs and as he works her clit she becoming more and more excited.

She drags her eyes to his face again then looks around the restaurant to see if anyone is watching them. Most seem intent on their dinners and company.

She holds out a hand that is none too steady. He drops it into her hand and she looks at it surreptitiously, trying to figure out how to …insert it, and how she can possibly do it without anyone seeing. He removes his hand and watches her as he brings his finger to his mouth and licks.

She shudders at the sight and a real flash of heat goes through her. She gives him such a perplexed look that he starts smiling and his lips twitch briefly, no doubt trying to hold back a laugh. She raises her chin a little defiantly and stares at him as she moves a bit to get the right position and inserts the vibrator. It actually goes in very easily, as wet as she is.

“There, it’s in.”

“Good girl. Now, finish your dinner Annette.”

‘Such a small item can’t give off that much vibration,’ she thinks. ‘I can barely feel it in me.’

She takes a drink and is jolted into dribbling her wine when he turns it on. “OH,” she squeaks before she can stop it. He watches, amused as she grabs her napkin and wipes her mouth and chin.

“That was the low setting, Annette,” he says with a grin, obviously enjoying her discomfort.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

"Finish your dinner, Annette. I won't bother you while you eat. You need your strength, and the veal is quite excellent, isn't it?"

Still recovering from the shock of the vibrator, Annette cautiously returns to her food, waiting for the next jolt, but Darius is as good as his word, and soon she relaxes, as much as she is able.
They finish the main course and she declines dessert, but he seems reluctant to leave and orders fruit and cheese along with a bottle of port. She is not used to this old world custom, but finds the combination of the fresh fruit and rich cheese sensuous and delicious, and very elegant.

It is while they are sipping their port that people begin to drop by the booth. Couples mostly, but there are some unattached men, but all apparently wealthy, well dressed, urbane, and with a apprasing gleam in their eye. The women are all of a type: pretty if not beautiful, quiet and obviously subservient.

Perhaps it is the liquor, or the novelty of being in public with him, but it takes her some time to realize that all of these couples are aparently in relationships similar to the one she has with Darius. It is like one big club, and the idea that she is being shown off and introduced to the pack shocks her.

"Who are these people?" she demands after the last couple has left.

He is smoking a cigarette, and he pauses to inhale. "People I know. Some are friends. some just acquaintances."

"You're showing me off to them, aren't you?"

"Why not?" he asks. "I'm quite proud of you. Does it bother you?"

"Yes it does. I don't mind meeting your friends, but I don't like being shown off like a...like a possession."

He nods slowly in understanding. "But you are, Annette. That's exactly what you are."

Before she can say anything he looks at his watch. "It is none-thirty. We've been here for almost an hour and a half. I believe the conditions of the dinner are over, my dear. You are my possession once again."

"That's absurd!" she says, "You can't just..." Her words are cut off my a maddening buzz in her pussy, which makes her jump.

"Don't" he says. "Don't reach for it, don't try and remove it. Put your hands on the table, Annette."

The buzzing inside her is reduced to a slow, steady throb, a deep, rhythmic hum that seems to set up a resonance in her body and begins to send delicious waves of pleasure through her belly. She closes her eyes and concentrates on the feeling, trying to master it, but she only falls more deeply under its spell.

"Listen to me, Annette." he says to her softly. "You belong to me now. I will take over responsibility over your body and your life. I will decide what you will do, what you will wear. I will take care of all the messy and uncertain details of your life. In return you shall be mine, mine to own, mine to command, mine to use. And by owning you, I will show you a freedom you have never known. Is that clear to you, darling?"

With the steady throb inside her, his voice sounded like that of a hypnotist, and the result was much the same. She'd forgotten where she was, who was around her, and she leaned forward against the table, her hands gripping the edge, feeling the maddeningly delicious workings of the device inside her. She heard his words and they made perfect sense to her. That was exactly what she wanted too.

"Yes." she said. "Yes."

"Good." he said. "Then shall we go?"

The vibrations stopped, but the heat and need remained. She felt entirely sexual, like a raw nerve, and it took her a minutes to get her hearings. Her nipples were achingly hard beneath the gown, her pussy congested and begging for relief. She needed to be held, squeezed, fucked.

She wasn't sure that she could walk as he helped her from the booth, but somehow she managed it. He got her coat and helped her into it, and as they waited for the car the throbbing started again, a bit faster this time, a bit more urgent.

He put his arm around her and held her upright as they waited for the car. People came and went around them, talking, laughing, while she teetered on the very edge of orgasm, her knees shaking as she leaned against him.

"Oh God!" she breathed, feeling she could hold out no longer, "Oh God, please!" She didn't want to come there, in the entrance to the restaurant. She was afraid she would scream, or her legs would buckle, but all she could do was bury her face in his chest and moan "Please!"

He turned it off as Charles pulled up in the limo, and he helped her to the car. People must have thought she was drunk, her legs were so unsteady. She kept her face hidden in her coat as he helped her into the car, and she collapsed into the soft leather of the back seat.

"The long way." he told Charles as they pulled from the curb, and he slid the prvacy shield closed so that Charles could not see them. He opened his pants, lifted his hips and slid them down his thighs, exposing his rampant cock, already seeping.

"Suck it." he said to her. "Suck my cock."

As she moved forward the throbbing began again. She gulped him greedily into her mouth and he felt the vibrations as she moaned loudly around his prick.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Voraciously moving up and down his shaft, Annette swallows him with no conscious thought. Her mouth is another piece of the sexual being he’s making her, avid and fervent to possess this part of him.

Her tongue moves against him whirling and playing as she sucks and she squirms until she is between his knees holding his legs further apart. The pulsing in her pussy isn’t enough to drive her to orgasm but it’s enough to make her wild. She sucks him like she has never sucked anyone, wanting to make him feel what she’s feeling, a tenth of what she’s feeling. She lifts her head to lick down his cock to his balls and hears his sharp intake of breath when she sweeps over them, covering them with her saliva. Her hands continue the stoking motion her mouth created on his shaft and she licks, up and down, moaning and nearly delirious with passion.

“Yes, little cocksucker, YES.” The degrading term doesn’t register, she only hears that he loves it.

Moving back up she swallows him down again. Darius wants to grab her head and fuck into her mouth but he doesn’t, instinctively knowing that she wants to draw his pleasure out. He can’t pinpoint the time of her transmogrification from taker to giver, but he’s very pleased. He switches the vibe off and she doesn’t notice. She’s intent and solely focused on his cock, his pleasure.

When she senses he’s near to orgasm, she backs off slightly until he looses his edge, drawing out his enjoyment. Annette tantalizes him, with her mouth, tongue, hands and the vision of her between his legs, her mouth wrapped tightly around his cock. She looks up at him every once in a while to gage his reactions and is gratified when she sees his face.

Now… now… she sucks harder, moving up and down his shaft until his cock butts the back of her throat, gagging on him and sucking harder, moving faster. She wants to taste his spore and drink it, bathe in it. His balls tighten and when he starts to shoot into her mouth it feels like it comes from his toes. She squeezes his balls as he starts to come and the force of his ejaculate is so great it makes her gag again. Finally he can’t restrain himself and grabs her head to force her down further on his cock as he releases with a groan that reverberates through the limo.

When she gags it causes the semen she can’t swallow to leak out around her mouth and drip down her chin. As his spasms grow slower she continues to suckle, cleaning his cock, licking, taking all of it in she can. Sucking him slowly until he lifts her head. He reaches out with an unsteady finger to gather the line of come from her chin to push in her mouth and Annette sucks that clean as well.

Pulling her up in his arms, he smiles; he didn’t realize that the car has stopped.

Annette’s thoughts are jumbled. She has never felt so free to show her appreciation? Is that it? All she knows is that the sex she used to have was sadly lacking in emotion and intensity. While she thought she was satisfied in her arrangement with a man she didn’t love, having occasional recreational sex, it now seems paltry and a pale reflection of the feelings Darius has brought out in her. Let him sort out her life. Let him take care of the messy little details. It feels good to drop the reins.

When she shifts on his lap she feels the wet that coats her inner thighs and squeezes her legs together, feeling the heat and it dawns on her that he had switched the vibrator off at some point.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

He kisses her deeply, and she knows that he must be able to taste his own seed in her mouth, proof of her subservience, as if anymore were needed. Though the vibrator is off she is still feverish for his touch. She knows she has made a slut of herself for him, and, strangely, it makes her burn with a shameful pride. She would do it again. She would do anything he wanted her to.

Hew opens steps out of the limo and she stares about her. They are in front of a gleaming high rise, all glass and steel, hard and severe, and without being told she knows that this is where he lives. He gives her a moment to quickly fix her hair, then helps her from the car and up the few stairs to the lobby, where her heels are loud on the marble floor. She is grateful for his strong arm around her, as her legs still feel shaky, and she is so aroused she is trembling.

They enter the elevator and no sooner are the door closed than he presses her hard against the wall, his mouth seeking hers, his hands squeezing her breasts, pinching her hard nipples. Though he has just come in the car and his cock is still flaccid, his need seems as great as hers and his passion is overwhelming. It literally takes her breath away, and when he pulls her from the car on some high floor she is panting. He pulls her down the hallway by her wrist, opens a door and takes her inside.

The apartment is large and dark. She can smell leather and furniture polish and the faint hint of his odor, his cologne. He leads her into the front room which is separated from the dining area by a series of decorative pillars. The vertical blinds are open giving a dramatic floor to ceiling view of the city skyline.

He moves quickly in the darkness and, taking her hand, buckles a leather cuff onto her wrist. As he works she can't keep herself from caressing and kissing his face and hands; she is still frantic with need and she wishes he would just rip her clothes off and take her; no more games. But no, there is the other cuff and there is a leather slave collar with silver rings to go around her neck, the symbol of her submission to him.

"Fuck me." she whispers as he does her other wrist. "Please Darling, just fuck me, I need you so badly!"

Perhaps he will for as soon as the cuffs are on he slides the zipper down on her dress and pulls it from her body. She is wearing nothing underneath, just stockings, and she is wet and ready for him. He takes a moment to retrieve the vibrator from her pussy and drop it into his pocket. She begins to sink to her knees, thinking to take him in her mouth again, but he holds her up, takes her hand and clips it to one pillar, then does the same with the other, leaving her standing with her arms stretched out up and to the sides.

"Please, darling, please!" she is still begging, sliding one leg against the other in her need. She is helpless again, at his mercy, unable even to touch herself to releive the empty ache, the need for sensation. Why is he so cruel to her? Just when she would give him anything he wanted, he ties her up and ignores her offers, ignores her love.

"I want to show you something." he says, and he turns a lamp on behind her, flooding the room with warm light.

She turns her head from side to side, seeing nothing unusual. She hears him come up behind her and his hands slip around her naked body. She thrusts herself against his hands, moving hger hips to try and get him to touch her pussy, but he evades her. His hands are like fire, leaving burning trails on her skin, and the chains clank softly as she treis desperately to feel him where she needs to feel him. Her sighs and moans of frustration fill the room.

"Do you see it?" he asks, whispering in her ear.

"What?" she asks. "See what?"

"Right ahead of you." he says. His hands leave her body and go to her head, aiming her gaze directly ahead of her. She still doesn't know what she's supposed to see until he whispers, "The reflection. Look at your refelction in the window. Look at what yourself, Annette."

She fixes her focus on the relfection in the big window and what she sees makes her gasp and then groan with shame, for there she is, tied to these pillars, naked save for shoes, stockings and slave collar, her entire body on diaplay. Behind her in his dark suit he is almost invisible. Only his hands, which now begin to tease over her body again, are visible.

So this is what I look like, she thinks. This is what he sees. She looks so demented, so incredibly sexual. She is used to seeing herself. She knows her body, knows all its shortcomings and good points. But she does not know this woman she sees in front of her, writhing in chains, rolling her hips obscenely as her lover's hands find her pussy and spread her labia as she groans in animal pleasure.

"Oh God!" she gasps, and turns her head to the side so as not to see. But she can't keep her eyes away. This is not the person she knows. Far from it. This is not the successful business woman, the image consultant, the chic, confidant career woman. This is some cock-hungry whore, some shameless tramp without a scrap of pride, letting herself be bound like a slave and used for a man's selfish sexual pleasures.

And what's worse is that she finds the sight of herself maddeningly erotic. It's as if deep down inside this is what she'd always wanted to be, this is what she suspected she really was. Again, the feelings of deep shame and fierce pride, slef-contempt and thrilling admiration battle within her. She is such a whore: no wonder he has to beat hewr; no wonder she needs it.

Her hips are cocked forward as he spreads her pussy apart and dips a finger into her. His other hand covers a breast and twists and squeezes her nipple. Her face is a mark of lust, her careful hairdo begin to tumble wantonly over her face. The slave collar clearly marks her as property. Her eyes go from his finger sunk in her pussy to the collar to her own eyes, hot with pure animal lust, and then to his face. His eyes are looking directly into hers, watching her expression as he plunders and violates her body.

"Look at yourself, Annette!" he hisses in her ear. "Look at yourself! I want you to remember this! This is the way I want you always, hot, dripping wet, ready to do whatever I say."

"Oh yes!" she groans "Oh God I'm such a whore for you!"

Her arousal is at a fever pitch; so high that she feels as though she might pass out. When she sees him draw the black leathger belt from his pants, she can't suppress a moan of excitement. She wants to be whipped now, she is such a whore,. such a slut. It is no more than what she deserves.

She keeps her eyes on her reflection as he lays the belt over her shoulder and drags in slowly across her skin. The smell of the leather is enticing; it is warm from his body. She bites her lip and waits.

She sees him raise the belt behind her, then feels sthe flash of hot pain as it strikes her ass. But it is hardly pain. It is deep, intense sensation, a shard of feeling that penetrates sto the core of her desire suffusing her with a satisfying heat.

"Oh yes! yes!" she sobs, "Take me! I'm yours! I'm yours, darling! All yours!"

 

[Annabelllee2003]

He slaps her three more times with the belt. The last lay of the leather was directly over the previous one and really causes her pain. She hisses with it and moves forward nearly dancing against the restraints. Another slap catches her thigh and she howls with it. Another welt to the inside of her leg brings a corresponding cry.

She catches her reflection in the window once again and it comes home, all of it. She’s bound and being beaten. And begging for it. Suddenly the sexual haze is replaced with horror. It’s too much for her and Annette now fights against the bonds, totally out of control.

“GET me down, let me GO!” she screams, her eyes wild. “LET ME GO!” The words reverberate against the windows.

Darius sees the change in her and knows panic. It’s been hard on her. Perhaps he’s pushed her too quickly.

He backs away and drops the belt. “LET ME GO, LET ME GO,” her cries still strident. Her face wet with tears. Then he’s holding her, whispering to her, telling her it’s all right. He releases one wrist and she flails at him. He catches it easily and brings her arm down to her side, hugging her.

“Shhh, shhh, Annette. It’s all right, I promise you,” his voice right in her ear.

“Let me go,” it’s a whisper now, softly pleading.

“Shhh, it’s okay Annette.” He unsnaps the other wrist. He carries her through the apartment until he reaches his bedroom. Putting her on the bed, he lay by her, holding her, whispering to her, calming her. Her sobs are deep and anguished. He kisses her tear-stained cheeks and holds her close. He can feel her heart hammering still.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay sweet Annette.”

 

[dr_mabeuse]

She must have slept, because when hext she opens her eyes it is completely dark in the room, juisty the faint glow seeping around the blinds over the window and the green glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand.

She knows where she is. She's in his bed, and he's next to her, naked as far as she can tell from the feel of him against her. She's curled up facing away from him and he's sitting up, his back against the headboard. Her behind is sore, but not as sore as she'd imagined it would be. She remembers everything.

"You're awake?" he asks.

"Yes."

"How do you feel?"

She hesitates. "Sore."

"I'm sorry." he says, and the way he says it makes her think his apology is meant to cover more than just the beating. There is a finality to it.

"I would say we've found your limit." he says. "Would you agree?"

 

[Annabelllee2003]

"My limit?" Annette pulls herself up and moves until she is sitting next to him. She feels fear at the tone of his voice.

"My limit," she says again with a sigh.

"I don't know what happened to me, Darius. I looked at my reflection and this past week caught up with me." Her throat still felt swollen and scratchy. She turns to him and moves his face until he's looking at her.

"It... caught up with me. Maybe I'm not as brave or as adventurous as I thought. I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to ruin things." With this a tear moves down her cheek.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

He's silent as she says this, and for a time neither of them move. She is afraid now that she's ruined it; that, having found her limit, he's done with her, and she doesn't want that. She needs him. She needs someone to push her, to make her go where she wouldn't normally go, and her time with him had been wonderfully erotic, maybe too much so.

She's crying now, but trying not to show it, afraid that this will just anger him more.

"Have I ruined it?" she asks him.

She doesn't get the comfort she was hoping for.

"I don't know." he says, then sighs. "Maybe I took you too far too quickly. I shouldn't have hurt you so much. You weren't ready for it, and I was excessive in any case.
"But you tell me, Annette. What did you think you were getting into when you answered the ad? What did you want to get out of this?"

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Annette thinks long and hard about his question before answering. Why indeed? Why give yourself up to pain? She had thought long and hard before answering his ad too and wasn't sure then or now. She certainly was excited at the prospect when she read it. It was an answer to everything, but what? What kind of answer could it be when you don't really understand the question.

Was there more than that? What caused her to panic?

Convention? Over-stimulation?

Fight or flight adrenalin overcame the endorphin rush of pain? What was in her to try the extreme road. History has long had its religious fanatics with self-flagellants bloodying their backs and scourging their bodies with disciplines, hair shirts and the like. A religious high reached? Or a body's natural instinct to feel bliss?

So being a seeker of pain and the rush of released endorphins is not merely a fluke on her part. Think of runner's high, bodybuilding, any sport that feels the burn. Gymnastics, Ballet. All painful. FOOTBALL? The ad.

"I answered your ad Darius, because it seemed very necessary to me. I can't really give you an explanation for panicking. I'm not sure if it was seeing me so... going against convention and the shock of that was too much or if every taboo I held came rushing up.

"You speak of limits. Of the edge. Perhaps my edge isn't as keen or we aren't a match in what we want. That will hurt me terribly but this was a test was it not? If I became unacceptable showing my weakness, I can only tell you it was not subterfuge on my part to do so. If I could have prevented myself from ...panicking I would have. I can only tell you that I know that I want more, but I don't know my limits. This is foreign territory and I am very much at a loss.

"Can we go back? Start again? I don't know that either, and I don't have a ready suggestion."

Darius listens without comment and waits for her to continue.

She takes a deep breath and finally does.

"I respect you and all you have done. You have brought me to levels of excitement and bliss I had only dreamed of. It hurts me to think parting. I have very strong feelings for you." She sighs heavily. "Too strong. I don't want us to shake hands and say 'Hey thanks it was fun'."

She looks away for a moment then draws her knees up and hugs herself as though expecting the worst.

"Darius," her voice trembles and she starts again, steadier, "Darius, if you decide that you don't want to continue, I'll understand. Somehow I have been less than satisfactory. I may not want it to end here, but I do understand."

He is still silent. She comes to another realization while waiting for any comment he may make, any decision.

"I know something else too. If you choose to terminate our relationship, it won't end for me." As his eyes widen, she goes on quickly, "No, not to worry, I won't camp out here or stalk you. I'll do my level best to avoid you completely. What I meant was that I will continue my journey without you."

 

[dr_mabeuse]

"If you choose to terminate our relationship, it won't end for me... I will continue my journey without you."

He looks down at her. She in curled into a fetal position, facing away from him. Her lips are tight and trembling and there are tears on her face. He can't help but note the cruel welts and bruises on her lower back and buttocks.

"No," he says, "I won't let you. You won't continue anything without me."

He slides next to her and puts his arms around her, pulling her body against his. "Darling, this was never about hurting you. This is about provoking the extremes of desire, of pleasure, of sensation."

He takes her chin and turns her head to look at him, "I won't let you go Annette. Not after what you've given me. You're everything to me now. It's my fault for not telling you sooner; for not showing you before how I feel about you."

She heard his words, hardly believeing them, and she squeezed her eyes shut so he wouldn't see her tears. She turned to him and pulled him down onto her body, her mouth blindly seeking his, having no words for him now. All her fear and frustration seemed to erupt from her in a rush of passion. She felt his lips on her face, her breasts, felt his hands all over her in a frenzy. Ahe ioened her legs to him as if it were the most natural thing in the world and he entered her, hard and irresistable.

She cried out in pleasure and affirmation. She was his and she reveled in the feel of his cock inside her as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. pulling him close. It was not like making love, it was like holding him inside and keeping him there, a part of her. She arched against him, trying to touch him with every part of her body, and when he cried out and throbbed inside her, she cried out too, feeling his orgasm as if it were her own.

 

[Annabelllee2003]

Moving with him, against him as he unleases his seed, she cries out harshly, holding him as tight as she can.

Feeling his passion and answering his need. His throbbing climax seems to go on forever.

He finally slows as he spends himself and relaxes on her, full weight. She can feel his heart beating wildly as her own. They lay like this for a long drawn out time until thier breathing comes easier and their hearts slow.

The he rolls off her, bringing her to his side. Both thinking private thoughts. Wondering exactly where they will be going now.