The Disinhibition Effect

[A Desert Rose]

(I posted this in bdsm, however I think it is relevant here, too.)

We all say and do things in cyberspace that we wouldn't normally say or do in the real world. We loosen up and feel less inhibited. Researchers have come to call this the "disinhibition effect."

It manifests itself in many ways, by our very own actions. Sometimes we share very personal things about ourselves. We reveal our secrets, fears, desires. Or we show unusual acts of kindness and generosity.

At other times, the disinhibition effect may not be so kind. We have all experienced rude and harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats from others in cyberspace.

Some of us explore the dark underworld of the internet, places of the extreme, places some might never visit in the real world.

We find a kinship with like-minded or at least, similar-minded people here. We develop friendships. Sometimes we fall in love. And unfortunately, sometimes we make enemies. We draw assumptions about people and see them as one-dimensional. We tend to base our opinions on a post here or there by someone, instead of understanding (as we would in the real world) that maybe that individual has just had to clean cat puke off the couch and was subsequently late for work and simply having a bad day.

But there is also a positive side to this disinhibition. It can indicate an attempt to understand and explore ourselves, to work through problems and find new ways of being. This is especially true in this forum. And for the most part, those who post here want to help and support each other.

Anyone have opinions to add?

 

[horny_giraffe]

That makes sense. Kind of like talking to the bartender can be therapeutic. I know that, for myself, it can help me articulate and rehearse ideas that I've been thinking about.

Trouble is that you can also get a warped view of reality when you think "This is the way people are."

Personally, I'm too wary of Literotica to either make friends or enemies. My PM box is virtually always empty. I've started an account at "The Well." where I'm hoping that the lack of anonymity will change the dynamic. We'll see. I'm still lurking, right now.

 

[Starfish]

Regardless of any negative feedback I've recieved from 'opening up' I have overcome so many hang ups about myself by being honest about myself to others.

I have especially gained a lot from the input I've recieved from this community. It is amazing what a good ear can do for you.

I like being comfortable and I find that my loosing my inhibitions has only made me more comfortable in my skin.

 

[A Desert Rose]

That makes sense. Kind of like talking to the bartender can be therapeutic. I know that, for myself, it can help me articulate and rehearse ideas that I've been thinking about.

Trouble is that you can also get a warped view of reality when you think "This is the way people are."

Personally, I'm too wary of Literotica to either make friends or enemies. My PM box is virtually always empty. I've started an account at "The Well." where I'm hoping that the lack of anonymity will change the dynamic. We'll see. I'm still lurking, right now.

Would you explain further what "The Well" is? This is new to me.

 

[horny_giraffe]

From their website:
http://www.well.com/aboutwell.html

"The WELL is an online gathering place like no other -- remarkably uninhibited, intelligent, and iconoclastic. For more than seventeen years, it's been a literate watering hole for thinkers from all walks of life, be they artists, journalists, programmers, educators or activists. These WELL members return to The WELL, often daily, to engage in discussion, swap information, express their convictions and greet their friends in online forums known as WELL Conferences.

The WELL is distinguished by its non-anonymous participants, and by uncommon policies. The service does not sell subscriber data to marketers, nor place ads within passworded areas. This unique gathering place is both greatly valued and directly supported by WELL subscribers. "

They are also distinguished by their policy that everything written by a particular author is considered copyrighted--a bonus for writers. They've occasionally had security problems, but it's very old in internet years.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Thank you

this sounds like some place I would like to go see and will do so.

 

[Lancecastor]

Wow...there's a trip in the Wayback Machine...I used to go to The Well a lonnng time ago. It's kinda the grandaddy of 'em all.

As for the disinhibition effect, I believe that newbies experience more of its effects.

Consider any new group or activity you pursue...when it is new to you, you behave in one way, and as you become more comfortable with the group's dynamics, you adjust.

Additionally, knowing about dininhibition ought to discount its affects I would think...except for those who don't want to be themselves for whatever reasons.

L

 

[Temptress_1960]

A friend of mine explained to me why people continue to chat online, and to post on BBs.

It's a concept called "intermittant reinforcement". No doubt there are folks here who can explain it way better than I can.

But my understanding is that you go to chat, or post/read the BB... and it's great. You are so on the mark, witty, with the perfect comments and comebacks... and so are the folks you are interacting with. It's great. Wonderful.

Now... the next few times... eh. You can't think of anything to say, no one interesting is interacting, it's a complete bust.

So you think, ok. One more try, then I won't bother.

And...

You are so on the mark, witty, with the perfect comments and comebacks... and so are the folks you are interacting with. It's great. Wonderful.

So, the next few times....

And on and on. But it keeps us chatting/posting/reading.


Another thing... I think the disinhibition effect helps to allow us to open our minds to possibilities, free us from inhibition in a RL sense... at least it gives us the impetus to think past our inhibitions and consider otherwise unlikely options.

 

[Cheyenne]

I like being comfortable and I find that my loosing my inhibitions has only made me more comfortable in my skin.

Yup, what she said. I find Lit has affected my real life in a positive manner, too. There isn' t such a definite line between online and real lives- they do affect each other.

 

[calypso_21]

Oh yes indeed I do have something to add.

For me, I am who I am no matter where I am. I am a rather uninhibited person outside of the internet. With the internet I am more inhibited than less. I keep a portion of myself away from people until I can open up to them fully...which usually means I have to meet them or develop a relationship outside of the internet. I am very flirty and friendly and extremely NONjudgemental...this is who I am naturally.

One of my pet peeves is the assumptions people draw based on what someone writes. This happens often on this board and everywhere. Just because someone writes something doesn't mean that is the entire story. To really enjoy the full story is to have it told to you where you can watch a person's face and body language or hear the inflections in their voice as they tell you about what they are thinking, feeling, experiencing, etc. This is what I mean by keeping a bit of myself from people on the internet. Until you are available to me when and where and how I want you, it is difficult for me to share myself.

I think people need to start looking at posts not as an attack on their own values and inhibitions but as what they more often than not are...a thought, feeling or opinion belonging to the poster who wrote it in the first place. Granted there are some asinine posts but there are a great deal of posters who's comments are torn apart and dissected and assumptions are created when the context now warped is regurgitated.

I think I got a bit off topic but as far as being disinhibited? Yes it can be good in some ways, but harmful in others. Truth is always difficult to ascertain...especially within ourselves. If there is something that makes you feel less inhibited about something you would like to open up to...then go for it. I think you should try almost anything once.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: The Disinhibition Effect

Oh yes indeed I do have something to add.

For me, I am who I am no matter where I am. I am a rather uninhibited person outside of the internet. With the internet I am more inhibited than less. I keep a portion of myself away from people until I can open up to them fully...which usually means I have to meet them or develop a relationship outside of the internet. I am very flirty and friendly and extremely NONjudgemental...this is who I am naturally.

One of my pet peeves is the assumptions people draw based on what someone writes. This happens often on this board and everywhere. Just because someone writes something doesn't mean that is the entire story. To really enjoy the full story is to have it told to you where you can watch a person's face and body language or hear the inflections in their voice as they tell you about what they are thinking, feeling, experiencing, etc. This is what I mean by keeping a bit of myself from people on the internet. Until you are available to me when and where and how I want you, it is difficult for me to share myself.

I think people need to start looking at posts not as an attack on their own values and inhibitions but as what they more often than not are...a thought, feeling or opinion belonging to the poster who wrote it in the first place. Granted there are some asinine posts but there are a great deal of posters who's comments are torn apart and dissected and assumptions are created when the context now warped is regurgitated.

I think I got a bit off topic but as far as being disinhibited? Yes it can be good in some ways, but harmful in others. Truth is always difficult to ascertain...especially within ourselves. If there is something that makes you feel less inhibited about something you would like to open up to...then go for it. I think you should try almost anything once.

No, I don't think you are off topic at all. You expounded on points that I touched on, and I thank you.

Like you, I am more inhibited about some things on the 'net that I might not be in real life. We do tend to be more cautious here.

Also, I agree with you point about drawing conclusions based on an occassional post here or there. We are more dimensional than we sometimes appear here.

Thank you for a great post Calypso.

 

[A Desert Rose]

thinking outside the box

Another thing... I think the disinhibition effect helps to allow us to open our minds to possibilities, free us from inhibition in a RL sense... at least it gives us the impetus to think past our inhibitions and consider otherwise unlikely options.

My level of tolerance and understanding of people who are unlike me has grown and expanded a great deal thanks to the 'net and Lit, in particular. I think that is one of the most positive side effects for me.

Of course I have learned a great deal about myself, too in the process.

And most importantly, I have made some very good friends.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Wow...there's a trip in the Wayback Machine...I used to go to The Well a lonnng time ago. It's kinda the grandaddy of 'em all.

As for the disinhibition effect, I believe that newbies experience more of its effects.

Consider any new group or activity you pursue...when it is new to you, you behave in one way, and as you become more comfortable with the group's dynamics, you adjust.

Additionally, knowing about dininhibition ought to discount its affects I would think...except for those who don't want to be themselves for whatever reasons.

L

You are absolutely correct, especially regarding discounting it's effects. I have gone back and rethought about posts made, especially unkind ones. I understand better what does and does not matter and why.

 

[Ginny]

i love the thread title, rose....turtle and i were talking about this thread yesterday....and celia's thread on Unnecessary Unkindness.....i know we have to take the good with the bad....the lack of inhibitions is great when we're all being nasty....but you toss in the ease it is to be mean here.....and that just sucks....but like you said....we're all here for different reasons.....and those that are unkind and mean-spirited just for the sake of being mean.....need some sort of release for their inner meaness......as we do for the nastiness....

i still think they all just need to masturbate more.....few orgasms might make them happier folks.....