The Confession Box

[scheherazade_79]

Tatelou's Star Wars thread got me thinking back to my childhood, and to be perfectly honest, I did some BAD things as a kid.

Most of them I've kept secret from the rest of the world, but now I feel that enough water's gone under the bridge for me to bring them out into the open.

This is a confessional thread where you finally get to unburdon yourself of the sins of your past.

I have so many that I could probably fill up a whole thread with them, but instead I'll just focus on my most shameful episode.

It happened when I was seven. My mother had a very posh friend called Jennifer, who gave her daughters aristocratic names like Quintilla and Amelia. One day they came to the house, and I was instructed to take Quintilla to my room and play.

To be honest, I didn't like any of them very much. My parents always put on airs and graces around them, and I totally struggled with the act. Quintilla was my age, and had a habit of running and snitching to her mother at the least possible thing. This time I decided to give her something decent to complain about, and suggested that we played with my sister's Cindy house.

While Quintilla was busy dressing Cindy in a ballgown, I took an elastic band and cut it into small pieces, which I deposited in Cindy's toilet. When Ken's car came to pick her up, I insisted that Quintilla should let her go to the toilet first. As soon as she lifted the lid and saw the mess inside, I announced that Cindy had been suffering from worms for the last few days. Quintilla screamed and went sprinting downstairs to her mother.

Thankfully, she was never able to articulate the horrors of what she'd seen, so I escaped getting a hiding. But Jennifer never brought her daughters round to the house again, and eventually the friendship between her and my mum disintegrated. I've lived with the guilt for 19 years, so it feels good to tell someone about it now.

 

[Samandiriel]

I wish you were my playmate.

 

[kendo1]

That's cool.
I was a good boy.

 

[AppleBiter]

Okay -- I don't have a confession from when I was a little kid . . . but I did do something that was pretty damn rancid and deplorable when I was a teenager. My boyfriend (now my husband) and I had been out driving around and I had given him road head. (I swallow. This info will be important in a second.) We went to my high school, immediately after, because I had to help decorate for Prom. A guy that I absolutely HATED was there and he was drinking a Mountain Dew. I asked him if I could have a drink. He let me, and I backwashed in it.

I know, I know. That's fucking wrong! But, I really hated the guy . . . I mean REALLY hated him. Still, that's no excuse. I shouldn't have done that. That's got to be the worst secret that I have. My husband and I are the only ones who know. What's worse is that guy now lives in the same town as I do. I see him every day.

 

[jfinn]

I broke my cousin's collar bone on purpose. Actually I wasn't specifically aiming for that particular part of her anatomy, but I did want to hurt the sniveling little snot. I was about 10 and she was 5 and I always got stuck with her at family gatherings because I was the oldest and my younger cousins hated her as much as I did and refused to play with her (their parents didn't spank--mine did). She was so whiny and always wanted whatever toy I was playing with. Finally it was one time too many and when we were playing in the park and the poor little bitch insisted I swing her I just pushed a little bit too hard and off she flew. Scared the crap out of me when I saw what I'd done. Everybody thought it was an accident, even her. The grownups were even concerned about me, because I was so upset.

Anyway it was so traumatic that I actually managed to block it out of my memory for twenty years. It wasn't until my aunt mentioned that Susie had broken her collarbone twice, once as a toddler (which I remembered) and once when she was five. I actually asked her how it happened and she looked at me like I was nuts. Then she told me the story and suddenly I remembered vividly. On and on she went about how I was so concerned about her precious baby and how I'd run for help like a little heroine. Of course there was no way I was going to admit to being the bad seed after all that time, but it still makes me feel sick to think about it.

Jayne

 

[SeaCat]

I was about ten when I lived in Upstate New York. At the time it was a quant little wide spot in the road called Verona. We had quit a chunk of land and my father decided out of the goodness of his heart to allow a couple from the city place their RV there for a couple of months while they looked over property. (They wanted to move out of the city.) This couple unfortunately had a daughter my age who somehow got it into her head she just had to be my conscience. Because my parents felt sorry for the little dear they allowed her to tag along with me. (Translated they felt sorry for the little snitch who was made to wear skirts and dresses by her brain dead parents so they made me take her with me when ever she wanted to.)

Needless to say this little queen just had to tell her parents aboutall of the nasty and dangerous things I got into when she was with me. These things were suitably embellished and passed on to my parents much to their humor and my dismay so I started to truly bedevil the little monster. Finally after several months of this I decided enough was enough. I invited her to help me and my father take care of some of the rabbits we were raising at the time. (Raising them for food mind you.) Well she dealt with our killing them just fine. My father carried their hutch into the barn abd carried the rabbits, now peacefully sleeping, out to where I was waiting with the skinning knives. Oh that really freaked her out. (I guess she didn't know where the meat she ate for dinner every night came from.) I'm pretty sure she had to go through some counseling after that eye opener but I'll never know. The entire family moved about two days after that incident leaving me and my family to live in peace.

Cat

 

[cloudy]

I was a huge pothead in high school - keep in mind this was during the late 70's - and there was this annoying little bitch that lived next door to us, who tried to follow me everywhere I went. Goody-two-shoes wasn't quite enough to describe her, but it'll do. Shelly was her name.

She'd been after me and a guy that lived across the fields from me to smoke a joint with her for months, and we'd always put her off for one reason or another to her face, but mainly because we figured that if she got caught, she'd waste no time telling who she'd been smoking it with.

One Saturday, Mark and I had already been in one of the barns getting high when Shelly caught up with us. She started begging again to smoke, so I went outside (explaining that I was going to get our stash) and rolled a joint out of horse shit for her. She smoked the whole damn joint, laughing like a fiend, and telling us how "stoned" she was. Mark and I were in hysterics, but couldn't explain to her why.

I always wondered about her later.

 

[minsue]

I was a huge pothead in high school - keep in mind this was during the late 70's - and there was this annoying little bitch that lived next door to us, who tried to follow me everywhere I went. Goody-two-shoes wasn't quite enough to describe her, but it'll do. Shelly was her name.

She'd been after me and a guy that lived across the fields from me to smoke a joint with her for months, and we'd always put her off for one reason or another to her face, but mainly because we figured that if she got caught, she'd waste no time telling who she'd been smoking it with.

One Saturday, Mark and I had already been in one of the barns getting high when Shelly caught up with us. She started begging again to smoke, so I went outside (explaining that I was going to get our stash) and rolled a joint out of horse shit for her. She smoked the whole damn joint, laughing like a fiend, and telling us how "stoned" she was. Mark and I were in hysterics, but couldn't explain to her why.

I always wondered about her later.

Oh, that's COLD.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[Dar~]

I got chicken pox on purpose and my mom had to take off three weeks of work, b/c at that time she was a CNA in a nursing home and was told she could spread it around. I got it by rubbing my arms with the girl in the apartment over. She got out of school, so I hoped to also. Too bad it backfired and I ended up sick for three weeks of Summer Break.

 

[carsonshepherd]

that wasn't evil... that was just dumb.

No evil confessions. I was an angel.

 

[Dar~]

it was evil b/c my mom was raising three kids on her pay (4.35/hour) and seh had to take three weeks off. elsewise, yes it was stupid . . I was five all five year olds are stupid

 

[LadyJeanne]

As a young teen, I used to sneak out of the house during the week both parents happened to be working the afternoon shift. I'd run back home to be there when mom called to check up on me during her break, and then I'd leave again until it was time for bed much later.

The one time my dad came home early unexpectedly, luck was on my side as I had invited my friends over instead of hanging out with them til all hours.

It's not like I was doing anything bad, but I was definitely not supposed to be out and about. The parents would have freaked out with worry had they ever caught me.

 

[Belegon]

I did a lot of bad things...but nothing truly evil I don't think...

my parents might disagree....


I lied about having already invited someone to my semior prom because I became involved with the girl I consider to be my first love. I know that it really hurt the girl I "dis-invited". I feel quilty about that because she certainly never did anything wrong to deserve it. But I am not unhappy I took the girl I did.

 

[blackhaus7]

We set out to occupy all of the volunteer service people (firefighters, police, EMS) one Friday night. There were two teams and I was with the "rattle the High School doors until the alarm goes off" team. We did it three times. I'll never forget the sight of the school superintendant running to the High School in pajamas and a bath robe.

I'm still not sorry about that one.

 

[Guest]

i was the second man on the grassy knoll

 

[impressive]

When I was somewhere around 10 years old, my mother decided she was no longer going to attend church with me because I always made her laugh. Our parish had this very intimidating priest at the time -- Fr. Frobus -- with a booming voice. He wasn't one to stay at the pulpit during a sermon. He'd stand instead at the top of the center aisle and stomp down past the first few rows while when he really got fired up.

Well, in small community churches, most families have "their" pew -- marked as if they'd peed on it. Ours was the 6th pew on the right. When Fr. Frobus would get to about the 3rd pew, I'd whisper something to my mom that would crack her up -- and she'd get "the glare" from Fr. Frobus. It just got to be too much for her, so she opted for early mass (as did my brother), and I -- sinner -- had to continue to attend 10:30 mass. Fine, I told her, but I was NOT sitting way up front.

That lasted about 3 years. Every Sunday morning, I'd walk to church alone (about 3-4 blocks) and my journey would take me right past this boy's house. I had a crush on this boy. This boy was in my 7th grade classes, but he was older. Unlike the other boys, this boy had a deep voice and shaved. If I was a few minutes early, I'd pass his house just as his parents were pulling out of their driveway to go to their church service.

I wasn't allowed to hang around with this boy. According to my parents, he was a "bad boy." (I didn't listen to my parents.)

So, one fateful morning, this boy was standing on the porch as I passed. It was cold. He had two mugs of hot chocolate. I was lured inside. (Okay, not "lured." He said, "Hey" as he raised one mug and I responded, "Is that for me?")

That began a Sunday morning routine that lasted almost 2 years. I'd walk all the way to church, pick up a bulletin (evidence of my attendance), then backtrack to his house. I learned a LOT on those Sunday mornings. My parents never knew.

 

[scheherazade_79]

With the exception of Carson and Kendo, I'm not surprised that the lot of you ended up writing smut

As for Carson and Kendo - forget purgatory. There are far worse places for people who tell fibs and pretend they've been little angels from birth. Mismused should know, because I already sent her there by accident

Don't worry, though - I'll be back once I've had my dinner

 

[LadyJeanne]

We set out to occupy all of the volunteer service people (firefighters, police, EMS) one Friday night. There were two teams and I was with the "rattle the High School doors until the alarm goes off" team. We did it three times. I'll never forget the sight of the school superintendant running to the High School in pajamas and a bath robe.

I'm still not sorry about that one.

Oooh, high school! I did the unthinkable - forged the signature of the strictest, scariest teacher in the school to get my friends out of class. It always worked because none of the teachers thought anyone would be stupid enough to try to forge Mrs. K's signature.

 

[Guest]

In highschool I had a sort of cerfew, I was supposed to be home by 10:00 on weeknights and 12:00 on fri & sat. So if I "needed" to stay out a little later, I would simply call home. When my mother picked up the phone I quickly said, "I got it mom!" as though I was on the extension in my room. She simply said, "Ok." and hung up.

I also closed the only theater within 40 miles of my house on a prank. Went to see a horror movie with a firend and we sat in the back with a couple jars of an evil mixture; Dinty Moore beef stew and buteric acid. Buteric acid is harmless, but it smells exactly like vomit, only stronger. During a particularly gory scene we both opened our jars, made appropriate noises and poured the contents in the two isles before making a quick exit. I could hear the sound of other people regurgitating and others screaming, some who ran for the exits got to the top of the isles and slipped on the mess we had made there.

The next day there was an ad in the paper saying the theater was closed for repairs. The ad ran for two weeks, but the theater never reopened.

 

[AppleBiter]

In highschool I had a sort of cerfew, I was supposed to be home by 10:00 on weeknights and 12:00 on fri & sat. So if I "needed" to stay out a little later, I would simply call home. When my mother picked up the phone I quickly said, "I got it mom!" as though I was on the extension in my room. She simply said, "Ok." and hung up.

I also closed the only theater within 40 miles of my house on a prank. Went to see a horror movie with a firend and we sat in the back with a couple jars of an evil mixture; Dinty Moore beef stew and buteric acid. Buteric acid is harmless, but it smells exactly like vomit, only stronger. During a particularly gory scene we both opened our jars, made appropriate noises and poured the contents in the two isles before making a quick exit. I could hear the sound of other people regurgitating and others screaming, some who ran for the exits got to the top of the isles and slipped on the mess we had made there.

The next day there was an ad in the paper saying the theater was closed for repairs. The ad ran for two weeks, but the theater never reopened.

Were you watching Goonies, by chance?

 

[impressive]

In highschool I had a sort of cerfew, I was supposed to be home by 10:00 on weeknights and 12:00 on fri & sat. So if I "needed" to stay out a little later, I would simply call home. When my mother picked up the phone I quickly said, "I got it mom!" as though I was on the extension in my room. She simply said, "Ok." and hung up.

Brilliant!

 

[Guest]

Were you watching Goonies, by chance?

Ummmmmm..... No. This would have been years before Goonies. More likely The Howling or The Fog or The Shining.

 

[AppleBiter]

Ummmmmm..... No. This would have been years before Goonies. More likely The Howling or The Fog or The Shining.

Just asking because your confession was eerily similar to Chunk's.

 

[Guest]

Just asking because your confession was eerily similar to Chunk's.

Ok Now I'm really lost.