KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
I went to the VA hospital, yes the one on Gage n 21st, and the nurse had the unmitigated gall to weigh me. I KNOW for a solid unassailable fact that I weigh 135 pounds. The scale said 172. My eyes rolled in the back of my head and nurse Ratchet almost called for a crash cart. I made her weigh me on all of the scales on the first floor. The best I could get was 171.
After a quick trip to the dietician and alot of blaming everyone else but the perpetrator of this heinous crime against my boobs butt n belly (it was the cheese), I decided to get with the program. The dietician's Smart CookieTM program. Or something like that.
This, humiliating, embarassing and ohhhhh gawdddddddd at least I don't have to post the pic, step is part of the plan. The one designed to bring about a life-style change for health. So here goes, a publicly made promise to myself. Don't worry, I'll still be gorgeous when the extra parts are gone.
Diary of a Madwoman
Day -1
As I munch on my breakfast of poptarts and a 20 ounce of coke, the last poptart and coke in the house. I am writing out my promise to myself. The final seal, proof positive in black and white that I am committed to doing this.
I, Blimpi, Queen of the Rotund, do solemnly pledge that I will lose my estimated 40 pounds of excess fat and develop some muscle by Labor Day of 2001. I will accomplish my goal by a thorough lifestyle change. I will exercise 6 days a week, 3 days of cardio interspersed with 3 days of weight training. I will eat 5 balanced, healthy meals everyday. Sundays I will allow myself 3 preplanned Cheat servings.
Signed, The Ice Cream Bandit
Maybe I should have that notarized...
One copy of it goes on the wall next to the computer where most of my illicit snacking takes place, the other copy goes, well duh, on the fridge right next to my recipe for banana split cake.
After a few minutes of staring at the signed confession, its obvious I need a bigger guilt factor. I'll be right back, quick trip to the bathroom. No, not for that! Sheesh. My Studmuffin keeps his body building magazines in there, I'm going to rip one apart. Hope he doesn't notice.
Better, a nice page size picture of a long curvy woman doing something with a barbell that it surely wasn't designed for. Another page size picture covers the recipe for banana split cake now. I stuck one in the bathroom next to the mirror for good measure. If the steam from the tub melts it, well not to worry, there are plenty more where those came from. Who knew that body building magazines were chock full of Fantasy Workout Photography? I wanna see the guys posed coyly with nothing but a 25 pound plate covering their assets too.
I wonder if Studmuffin... Nah, of course not, he just reads the articles. *Giggle snort*
[Edited by KillerMuffin on 08-28-2000 at 07:48 AM]
After a quick trip to the dietician and alot of blaming everyone else but the perpetrator of this heinous crime against my boobs butt n belly (it was the cheese), I decided to get with the program. The dietician's Smart CookieTM program. Or something like that.
This, humiliating, embarassing and ohhhhh gawdddddddd at least I don't have to post the pic, step is part of the plan. The one designed to bring about a life-style change for health. So here goes, a publicly made promise to myself. Don't worry, I'll still be gorgeous when the extra parts are gone.
Diary of a Madwoman
Day -1
As I munch on my breakfast of poptarts and a 20 ounce of coke, the last poptart and coke in the house. I am writing out my promise to myself. The final seal, proof positive in black and white that I am committed to doing this.
I, Blimpi, Queen of the Rotund, do solemnly pledge that I will lose my estimated 40 pounds of excess fat and develop some muscle by Labor Day of 2001. I will accomplish my goal by a thorough lifestyle change. I will exercise 6 days a week, 3 days of cardio interspersed with 3 days of weight training. I will eat 5 balanced, healthy meals everyday. Sundays I will allow myself 3 preplanned Cheat servings.
Signed, The Ice Cream Bandit
Maybe I should have that notarized...
One copy of it goes on the wall next to the computer where most of my illicit snacking takes place, the other copy goes, well duh, on the fridge right next to my recipe for banana split cake.
After a few minutes of staring at the signed confession, its obvious I need a bigger guilt factor. I'll be right back, quick trip to the bathroom. No, not for that! Sheesh. My Studmuffin keeps his body building magazines in there, I'm going to rip one apart. Hope he doesn't notice.
Better, a nice page size picture of a long curvy woman doing something with a barbell that it surely wasn't designed for. Another page size picture covers the recipe for banana split cake now. I stuck one in the bathroom next to the mirror for good measure. If the steam from the tub melts it, well not to worry, there are plenty more where those came from. Who knew that body building magazines were chock full of Fantasy Workout Photography? I wanna see the guys posed coyly with nothing but a 25 pound plate covering their assets too.
I wonder if Studmuffin... Nah, of course not, he just reads the articles. *Giggle snort*
[Edited by KillerMuffin on 08-28-2000 at 07:48 AM]
