The comma, or 'Fuck me....'

Pure

Fiel a Verdad
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Dec 20, 2001
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"You're to fuck me 'n fuck me good, and suck me too, unless I say, ‘Don’t bother.’ "

What a difference a comma makes!* see the story below. The above is meant to be an analogy in the erotic sphere: consider the presence or absence of the second comma.

*or does it?


The Comma That Costs 1 Million Dollars (Canadian)


By IAN AUSTEN
Published: October 25, 2006
New York Times

OTTAWA, Oct. 24 — If there is a moral to the story about a contract dispute between Canadian companies, this is it: Pay attention in grammar class.

The dispute between Rogers Communications of Toronto, Canada’s largest cable television provider, and a telephone company in Atlantic Canada, Bell Aliant, is over the phone company’s attempt to cancel a contract governing Rogers’ use of telephone poles. But the argument turns on a single comma in the 14-page contract. The answer is worth 1 million Canadian dollars ($888,000).

Citing the “rules of punctuation,” Canada’s telecommunications regulator recently ruled that the comma allowed Bell Aliant to end its five-year agreement with Rogers at any time with notice.

Rogers argues that pole contracts run for five years and automatically renew for another five years, unless a telephone company cancels the agreement before the start of the final 12 months.

The contract is a standard one for the use of utility poles, negotiated between a cable television trade association and an alliance of telephone companies. French and English versions were approved by a government regulator about six years ago.

The dispute is over this sentence: “This agreement shall be effective from the date it is made and shall continue in force for a period of five (5) years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five (5) year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”

The regulator concluded that the second comma meant that the part of the sentence describing the one-year notice for cancellation applied to both the five-year term as well as its renewal. Therefore, the regulator found, the phone company could escape the contract after as little as one year.

“The meaning of the clause was clear and unambiguous,” the regulator wrote in a ruling in July.

But Kenneth G. Engelhart, vice president for regulatory affairs at Rogers, disagreed. “Why they feel that a comma should somehow overrule the plain meaning of the words is beyond me,” he said. “I don’t think it makes any sense.”

He acknowledged, however, that lawyers for his company might have underestimated the regulator’s interest in grammar.

“We were obviously too confident the first time around,” he said.

But this time, Rogers has turned to Canada’s other official language, French, as well as its own outside grammar expert to appeal the ruling.

Aliant, which is controlled by the Montreal-based BCE, declined to comment. But in a filing with the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission, it called the issue “a classic case of where the placement of a comma has great importance.”

Mr. Engelhart said the grammar fight began when Aliant told Rogers in February 2005 that it was canceling a pole agreement for the province of New Brunswick one year early. The cancellation was necessary because a local electric utility was taking direct control of poles that Aliant previously managed on its behalf.

The power company, Mr. Engelhart said, planned to “really crank up rates,” a change that would cost Rogers about 1 million Canadian dollars over that final year.

To bolster its appeal, Rogers commissioned a 69-page affidavit, mostly about commas, from Kenneth A. Adams, a lawyer from Garden City, N.Y., who is the author of two books on contract language. It disputes the regulator’s analysis of what Mr. Adams calls “the rule of the last antecedent.”

Rogers is also pointing to the official French version of the pole agreement, which has equal status under Canadian law. While differences between the languages will not settle the comma question, Mr. Engelhart said the phrasing removed any ambiguity about the contract’s life span.

“It becomes very clear once you read the French version,” he said.
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There's a book entitled Eats, Shoots, and Leaves which addresses many points like this.
 
Eh,

I think that the phone company is putting too much weight on the back of the lowly comma. If they had written a better sentance it wouldn't be in question. I respect my commas too much to put them in this situation. Bad canadians! You are unfit stewards of punctuation. (Well, not all of you.)

My mom worked with a guy who wrote a grammar textbook in the form of a novel. The results are slightly hilarious. The book is called "Comma's are our Friends".
 
I'd like to thank my parents, L. Ron Hubbard and Elvis.

For the power of the comma in US jurisprudence, one need look no further than the Second Amendment.
 
akk. well something like that. Commas are..

I am responsible for that one..
(I can handle the grammer on a good day.)
 
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Ellen

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Ellen

The Earl
 
Explaura said:
Eh,

I think that the phone company is putting too much weight on the back of the lowly comma. If they had written a better sentance it wouldn't be in question. I respect my commas too much to put them in this situation. Bad canadians! You are unfit stewards of punctuation. (Well, not all of you.)

My mom worked with a guy who wrote a grammar textbook in the form of a novel. The results are slightly hilarious. The book is called "Comma's are our Friends".

You're right. Commas do have some clear and definite roles to play in clarifying meaning (as in the L. Ron Hubbard & Shoots & Leaves examples), but more often they're slippery little devils and should not be trusted, especially in a legal document. Except for the most basic cases, and unless you're a true grammar wonk (and even the wonks diagree), comma use is a matter of personal style.

That contract should have been written like a fist-grade reading primer, with no compound sentences or dependent clauses.

BTW, the guy who wrote "Comma's Are Our Friends" should should look up and start hanging around with some apostrophes for awhile. They have something embarrassing they might want to tell him.

EDITED TO ADD: Ah! You caught the apostrophe! Yeah, I had to deal with that once too, but from the other side. It turns out that apostrophes for plurals are allowable if the word is an acronym, as in "NASA's plans" or "the CIA's sources."
 
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