The Cheating Thread

[newgentleguy]

i do all my 'cheating' here. no chance of getting STD and i can play out most of my fantasies.

 

[Carnevil9]

If my partner found out she would be pissed. I take that as it being cheating.......

I don't know. By that logic, leaving the toilet seat up, or drinking orange juice out of the bottle would count as cheating.

 

[jodylee]

My two cents - if you wouldn't do the activity with your partner right there, it is infidelity, which perhaps isn't the same idea as "cheating", but it shows that there is a betrayal of the tenets of the relationship.

I have cheated in the past when I was dating, not proud of it that's for sure. Ended my first marriage with one of the reasons of his infidelity - I was so hurt, especially considering we were at a point where we had agreed we needed to work on our marriage, and we were making headway.
My husband now, it's complicated. We have explored a lot of fun "sexy time stuff" - hell, if all were to work out ok, I'd still love to share fun playtime with another woman with us from time to time. The key is TOGETHER, it is what we had always insisted was the most important thing, whether it was sharing fantasies, transcripts of naughty chats with women I've had, watching porn, reading and sharing stories each of us found erotic, and sharing picture albums etc... Together.

So now I find he has three (at least) google voice numbers, has texted and called women on Tinder (one was even because "I made him mad and he wanted to me to hurt when I saw the phone bill" - teach me a lesson, so to speak), has two additional Facebook profiles, four other Twitter accounts... Yeah.
No, can't say I'm thrilled with cheating, nor secrecy.

 

[BurningMonkey]

The entire idea of "together" is a great one -- until one of you is no longer interested in anything, together or separately.

I feel for you, I really do, sweetie. I wish I had some wisdom to offer, but I only have sympathy--and sometimes that just isn't enough.

Have you confronted him about all this? It would be painful in the extreme, I imagine, and it may not end how you wish it. I guess you just have to settle in your own mind whether he's worth holding onto or not. That will be your guide, in the end.

Hugs.

 

[jodylee]

Burning Monkey, thanks for your sympathy. I have confronted him on some of it, he doesn't know that I know about the other phone numbers, Facebook and Twitter accounts. I would much rather working together in and on our marriage than anything else. I refuse to remain and endure behaviour that is not beneficial to us, nor each other, and really, he needs to be honest with himself, us and me first.

At least I'm not feeling desperate like when it all came to a head. Going to a therapist soon, as I know I most certainly don't have all the answers (nor should I have them...we need to come up with those together, imo).

Lol, too bad not one revenge-fuck will be given, not from this chick ;-)

 

[BurningMonkey]

Lol, too bad not one revenge-fuck will be given, not from this chick ;-)

What? No revenge fuck? Damn!
Well, if I hurry I suppose I can cash in my plane ticket... lol.

 

[CBHunter]

Just read back through the posts here and found that there's some pretty good discussion here, so I thought I'd give the thread a bump and see if we can get some more.

 

[clistenovena]

I have cheated, recently. But only after 20 years of happy monogamy with my wife, with whom I would still be faithful if she was the least bit interested in sex at all these days. (Menopausal and on anti-depressants. Not her fault, but still there it is.)

It's a complicated situation. I don't want the Other Woman, really--I want my wife. But she doesn't want me. So I have a choice: divorce the woman I truly love and find sexual fulfillment with someone new, or find something "on the side". I'm still relatively young; I just can't stand the thought of a possible 20 years of celibacy going forward, especially since our sex life in the past was regular and often.

And yes, I've considered asking her permission to play, but she's very insecure and also religious--there's no way she'd say yes, and just broaching the subject would send her into an emotional tailspin. It wouldn't be good. At all.

Am I conflicted about it? Hell, yes! And I don't know if it will last--sometimes after a tryst I get so depressed I can't stand it. But for now it is what it is, for better or worse.

It never fails to impress me how alike all our collective life stories can be. And how comforting it is to know that there are those who can truly understand. Thanks for sharing (even though it was a while ago).

 

[HesterP]

Interesting discussion and some good points. I think every relationship should define their boundaries. If you are in a committed monogamous relationship then you have no right to engage in intimate physical or mental relationships with others. If your partner knows and is OK with online chatting, cool. If not, you are cheating. If one partner is not committed then I think the other partner is not bound by the marriage contract either. While divorce might be the simple answer, there are reasons for remaining in a broken marriage.

 

[CBHunter]

Bump.

 

[ZCaliblossom]

I’m a married man magnet (((super super sad face)))

 

[vanquished005]

Before I retired, I slept with 4 women from the office – although not at the same time. all were married catholic wives (my fetish) who were being ignored and disregarded by their loser husbands.

one evening i was working late with one of the ladies. i had her call her loser husband to ask him how his day was and how the kids were, while i bent her over my desk and made love to her tight married asshole with my tongue. She then sucked my cock while I talked to my wife on the phone. 

 

[SPARTAN047]

I read stories about it, see porn, hear others stories, but wouldn't do it.