The Black Cloud

[KindredFlame]

This is great news, I had two stories posted today, wow I must be doing something right woop woop.

 

[sirhugs]

This is great news, I had two stories posted today, wow I must be doing something right woop woop.

read, voted, commented

 

[sirhugs]

I am considering adding a sequel to continue the story of our unnamed MC and Sophie the sexy shrink.
In fact, I have put down 168 words, then stalled.
The premise of the sequel is that the planned schedule of sessions had ended, but MC still is depressed, missing the lift that he gets from seeing Sophie (not to mention the sex).
So he is pleased when she calls to check up on him.
All of which is fine and good, but I stall at:

• what motivates her to break the rules andmeet with him again?
• once I get them together, how so I keep the sex fresh, but consistent with the characters (such as they are. I've had feedback that the story lacks character development)?

What do you think?

Easy link to the first chapter, if you want to review it: The Black Cloud

 

[KindredFlame]

I am considering adding a sequel to continue the story of our unnamed MC and Sophie the sexy shrink.
In fact, I have put down 168 words, then stalled.
The premise of the sequel is that the planned schedule of sessions had ended, but MC still is depressed, missing the lift that he gets from seeing Sophie (not to mention the sex).
So he is pleased when she calls to check up on him.
All of which is fine and good, but I stall at:

• what motivates her to break the rules andmeet with him again?
• once I get them together, how so I keep the sex fresh, but consistent with the characters (such as they are. I've had feedback that the story lacks character development)?

What do you think?

Easy link to the first chapter, if you want to review it: The Black Cloud

This reminds me of the Sopranos.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I am considering adding a sequel to continue the story of our unnamed MC and Sophie the sexy shrink.
In fact, I have put down 168 words, then stalled.
The premise of the sequel is that the planned schedule of sessions had ended, but MC still is depressed, missing the lift that he gets from seeing Sophie (not to mention the sex).
So he is pleased when she calls to check up on him.
All of which is fine and good, but I stall at:

• what motivates her to break the rules andmeet with him again?
• once I get them together, how so I keep the sex fresh, but consistent with the characters (such as they are. I've had feedback that the story lacks character development)?

What do you think?

Easy link to the first chapter, if you want to review it: The Black Cloud

There's a benefit of not having a ton of character development in the original in that you have a bit more freedom to define them more fully now. I didn't read the first part, so I can only speak in broad strokes, but the best way to keep the sex fresh is to infuse elements beyond sex into it. It's not just sex, it's also X, Y, Z (character development, learning something new about the other person, a plot driver, etc.). Maybe this is the chapter where they open up to each other a bit more, explore some kinks they didn't feel comfortable sharing with someone else. Roleplay as something other than therapist/patient. Lots of directions to go with that. Maybe each time they have sex, something comes out about one of them that surprises the other. Really, you have a wide-open field on how to approach that one.

As for her motivations to break the rules, in this case, there aren't actually any rules if she stopped seeing him as a patient. She's no longer bound by the rules she clearly already broke in part 1 if she was having sex with him while treating him. The rules are around sexual conduct with active patients, not past patients. So maybe she felt guilty about what in her practice would be seen as taking advantage of someone, which is why she didn't call him right after their sessions ended when she could've. But now that she's had a bit of time to reevaluate her priorities, and isn't actively treating him, she realizes she shouldn't feel guilty about pursuing that relationship again, because it's perfectly legit.

Now, if he goes back into therapy sessions with her, you run into that problem again, but the way you wrote it makes it seem like this is more a "courtesy call"/flimsy excuse to ask him out, not that he'll be going in for more sessions.

 

[sirhugs]

This reminds me of the Sopranos.

I don't think Tony ever fucked Dr. Melfi.

 

[sirhugs]

I did rework the sequel fragment by reversing so that it starts with the shrink phoning to check up on the MC narrator, then some back story. Still not sure where to go next though. Stalled at 334 words.

Mostly not sure what sort of sex, or location. Location in original was easy- the shrink's office. But she's not likey to invite him to her home. Or go to his place. A hotel room? A curtained area at the ER would make medical sense, but require a total rewrite. And end disasterously I'm thinking.

As for the sex, backed myself into a corner by giving him impotence. So conventional sex, or anal, which was not part of chapter one, but seems to be something I write a lot these days, is unrealistic. The one thought I do have is that she decides that taking his soft cock in her mouth would be a fun experience for both of them.

Thoughts?

Or maybe I should just park it for a while? My personal black cloud, which inspired me to revisit this topic, seems to have moved on for now.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I did rework the sequel fragment by reversing so that it starts with the shrink phoning to check up on the MC narrator, then some back story. Still not sure where to go next though. Stalled at 334 words.

Mostly not sure what sort of sex, or location. Location in original was easy- the shrink's office. But she's not likey to invite him to her home. Or go to his place. A hotel room? A curtained area at the ER would make medical sense, but require a total rewrite. And end disasterously I'm thinking.

As for the sex, backed myself into a corner by giving him impotence. So conventional sex, or anal, which was not part of chapter one, but seems to be something I write a lot these days, is unrealistic. The one thought I do have is that she decides that taking his soft cock in her mouth would be a fun experience for both of them.

Thoughts?

Or maybe I should just park it for a while? My personal black cloud, which inspired me to revisit this topic, seems to have moved on for now.

If you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it. Seems like this things keeps stalling out, which to me indicates it's time to try poking at something else. If you have any other ideas calling to you, give those a shot. Basically, see what's easiest to write. Path of least resistance is a great writing method, one I damn-near live by. You aren't beholden to deadlines, you can write whatever suits your fancy, so go find your fancy

 

[sirhugs]

If you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it. Seems like this things keeps stalling out, which to me indicates it's time to try poking at something else. If you have any other ideas calling to you, give those a shot. Basically, see what's easiest to write. Path of least resistance is a great writing method, one I damn-near live by. You aren't beholden to deadlines, you can write whatever suits your fancy, so go find your fancy

when the depression gets bad, I want to continue this story as a form of self-medicating.

And right now, no other idea is begging to be written either.

But I need to do two more to hit 200. And my ridiculos brain thinks that I need to get to that milestone while I still can, health being what it is, i.e. a total crapshhot with three conditions trying to kill me, two of which could flare up with little notice and lead to quick death.

 

[anthrodisiac]

when the depression gets bad, I want to continue this story as a form of self-medicating.

And right now, no other idea is begging to be written either.

But I need to do two more to hit 200. And my ridiculos brain thinks that I need to get to that milestone while I still can, health being what it is, i.e. a total crapshhot with three conditions trying to kill me, two of which could flare up with little notice and lead to quick death.

If you have nothing that's speaking to you, you can try a little exercise I like to do every once in a while when absolutely nothing is coming to me. Pure stream of consciousness. It's not something to be published, it's just letting the words pop out, whatever comes to mind, you write it. You keep going until you either can't think of anything else, or you stumble on something you want to further explore. I've had some great ideas come out of this. Most of the time it's gibberish, but it can help at least get the gears grinding a little bit.

There are also plenty of free-use bunbuns in Plot Bunny Pens, should you wish to peruse, maybe find something that speaks to you. Kinda the whole reason Hester and Lester Hopscotch founded PBP, to give plot bunnies a home and to have people potentially adopt them.

 

[sirhugs]

If you have nothing that's speaking to you, you can try a little exercise I like to do every once in a while when absolutely nothing is coming to me. Pure stream of consciousness. ...

Last time I tried that, I ended up with Mom's New Cock, which I produced in one sitting. I like to think that it is my homage to James Joyce. It is definitely an odd little tale.

 

[Carnevil9]

I totally agree with the idea of authorial calisthenics. Sometimes, when I feel blocked, I'll just sit down and bang out some gibberish, with every intention of deleting it when I am done. And I usually do. It's like doing jumping jacks for the writing muscles. After ten or fifteen minutes of that, I feel refreshed enough to start writing something worthy of saving.

 

[KindredFlame]

I totally agree with the idea of authorial calisthenics. Sometimes, when I feel blocked, I'll just sit down and bang out some gibberish, with every intention of deleting it when I am done. And I usually do. It's like doing jumping jacks for the writing muscles. After ten or fifteen minutes of that, I feel refreshed enough to start writing something worthy of saving.

Wish that would work for me. I look at my computer screen and it is if it’s laughing at me saying I am useless and have no imagination. I tried pen and paper and I ended up drawing cobwebs all over the page. Then started looking for them around the house.

 

[sirhugs]

I totally agree with the idea of authorial calisthenics. Sometimes, when I feel blocked, I'll just sit down and bang out some gibberish, with every intention of deleting it when I am done. And I usually do. It's like doing jumping jacks for the writing muscles. After ten or fifteen minutes of that, I feel refreshed enough to start writing something worthy of saving.

sometimes, it can be hard to tell the difference.

 

[sirhugs]

Wish that would work for me. I look at my computer screen and it is if it’s laughing at me saying I am useless and have no imagination. I tried pen and paper and I ended up drawing cobwebs all over the page. Then started looking for them around the house.

I usually start with an opening line, and it flows into setences, maybe a paragraph. Then i ask myself what happens next. Or flip a coin. he rndom number generator helps chose between multiple optionds.

But I digress into AH territory. back to puzzling over what sort of sex (and location) works for these characters. I'm thinking ooral sex both ways, but is that enough?

Is a motel room too cliche?

 

[sirhugs]

I guess that I'm writing this, as up to 774 words.

Temporarily (?) going with motel location, but hoping someone has a more clever idea. Would be happy to rewrite to switch that aspect.

But still need help, as am up to the point where sex needs to happen, but still not sure how to deal with that. It's like being a virgin all over again (jk).

 

[sirhugs]

And now I'm past 2100 words, but the first chapter was over 3600 words, so have a ways to go, i suspect.

In fact I have the next sex scene in mind, very roughly.

But think I need one more scene and not sure what works, so still open to suggestions (to see if i can make them fit).

They are in the motel. Had her give him oral wiith her kneeling on the floor. now he is returning the favour on the bed. thinking some sort of anal next. Because in chapter one, she really liked his finger up her butt.

maybe then something in the shower?
or does the anal happen in the shower?
but if so, where does the other sex scene fit?
and what is it?
or is there no other sex scene, just a shorter story?
I've had some thoughts of working a toy in, but not sure if that is part of the anal, or a separate scene.

Thoughts?

 

[sirhugs]

Re-ordered the events of the story a bit, and added that additional sex scene that I thought it needed.

Paused just as it transitions to the repositioned "attempt at anal sex in the shower" scene. Gives me space to mull over "what happens when a guy who can't get hard tries to please his woman with anal sex?"

Anybody have any ideas?

 

[Brandnewbuddy]

I think it could be a very tender scene. Like there was a dark academia book where there’s a sex scene between the MC and her lover who are both in their 50s and he’s failing to please he talks with her and breaks out her toys so she can climax. It’s actually rather tender…though he is secretly the villain.

Anyway, they do have hollow strap ons for men, so if she’s into anal that’s one way.

 

[sirhugs]

I think it could be a very tender scene. Like there was a dark academia book where there’s a sex scene between the MC and her lover who are both in their 50s and he’s failing to please he talks with her and breaks out her toys so she can climax. It’s actually rather tender…though he is secretly the villain.

Anyway, they do have hollow strap ons for men, so if she’s into anal that’s one way.

Hmmmm... interesting

 

[Carnevil9]

Re-ordered the events of the story a bit, and added that additional sex scene that I thought it needed.

Paused just as it transitions to the repositioned "attempt at anal sex in the shower" scene. Gives me space to mull over "what happens when a guy who can't get hard tries to please his woman with anal sex?"

Anybody have any ideas?

You might think this is a totally tongue in cheek reply, but he could eat her ass. While fingering her pussy with a reach-around.

 

[sirhugs]

You might think this is a totally tongue in cheek reply, but he could eat her ass. While fingering her pussy with a reach-around.

Great idea, but she specifically wants her ass fucked this time.

Anyway, I figured it out. Maybe it even works in the context of their tiny slice of heaven. Who knows?

I finished the first draft of the story.

In draft it is just under 4400 words. A nice change of pace from my recent lengthy "masterpieces". Glad that I wrote it, even though logically, a sequel to a story that had modest readership is a risk, especially for a writer with a limited following. This one, I wrote for me. And maybe a few select fans will appreciate it.

Thanks to everybody for the helpful suggestions and the support.

There is an offchance tht I may do a chapter three some day, if I keep writing past number 200. Chapter 3 would switc female characters and feature Sohie's supervisor, the "real shrink", who is a bit older, so might end up in the Mature category. Who knows?

If I do that, I like;y will hunt up this thread and revive it looking for some more ideas.

Then, who knows, the logical chapter four would bring the narrator, Sophie, and the boss shrink all together for a threesome. For that, I'd for sure look for fresh ideas.

 

[sirhugs]

Chapter 2 submitted. waiting to see if the seeds of chapter three germinate in the fertile soil of my rotting brain.

 

[sirhugs]

Just found out that Ch 2 will be published May 2.