The Bitch Thread

[graceanne]

*hugs* Don't worry about it, brioche. We know your'e stressed out. *another hug to go*

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

....*sigh*

Sometimes, I get ...severely depressed. I'm not really talking about, "wow, its a down day..." ...I have clinical depression... and somedays, its more difficult than others to cope with things. Today is one of those days, I suppose. I realize this isn't a depression board, and I am a member of several.. but seems like I could use a bit of ranting from time to time, so if I ever come in here, and just start.. I don't know... *crying and throwing things, beating the hell out of pillows, and screaming* .... you know its nothing you all did...

Today's main theme for me is that I want isolation... yet I don't... (which makes no sense.. I suppose) But every time I get *alone* then I get angry, "what, doesn't anyone want to be around me?!" kind of attitude... and I hate that, I dislike that I do that, or even think that way, its juvenile, its contradictory.. and I wouldnt want someone to treat (or think) that way either... *sigh* ...

Maybe seeing it, is part of the battle for me... I am aware of how stupid this all seems, *IS* ... now to do something constructive about it... that's the trick...

Thanks for letting me vent here...

 

[brioche]

Sometimes, I get ...severely depressed. I'm not really talking about, "wow, its a down day..." ...I have clinical depression... and somedays, its more difficult than others to cope with things. Today is one of those days, I suppose. I realize this isn't a depression board, and I am a member of several.. but seems like I could use a bit of ranting from time to time, so if I ever come in here, and just start.. I don't know... *crying and throwing things, beating the hell out of pillows, and screaming* .... you know its nothing you all did...

Today's main theme for me is that I want isolation... yet I don't... (which makes no sense.. I suppose) But every time I get *alone* then I get angry, "what, doesn't anyone want to be around me?!" kind of attitude... and I hate that, I dislike that I do that, or even think that way, its juvenile, its contradictory.. and I wouldnt want someone to treat (or think) that way either... *sigh* ...

Maybe seeing it, is part of the battle for me... I am aware of how stupid this all seems, *IS* ... now to do something constructive about it... that's the trick...

Thanks for letting me vent here...

I've been there sweetie.
Are you on meds?
They're important, you know.
If you ARE, recognize that feelings that have been blunted are coming back, and you have to learn to deal with them again, just like a small child learning to deal with them the first time.
Also, you have to deal with the damage you did to the relationships in your life. It sucks - you're finally feeling a little better, and you have to deal with the aftermath.
But you do get through it.
If you need to, you can post here or PM me - I'm an old hand at this.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

I know I have at least a mild case or worse variety of depression. There were days I would have to force myself to eat because I had no cravings for food. I know a few times I got in trouble at work because of it. My solution is just to tough it out, but this isn't for everyone. I do this because I am a cheap bastard and don't wanta pay for meds and I know tomorrow can be a better day, I just need to make it there. I suggest Rebellious that you do whatever it takes to get you back on an upswing short of breaking the law.

 

[satin_coals]

bums ..

<bitch>

I was cornered by this strange bum today who asked me if I could 'lend' her five bucks.

What the FUCK?

Can I LEND you five dollars? Am I going to get it back then eh? Are you going to write me a little "IOU" note clearly stating that you will return my five dollars with a signiture? No. So cut the shit lady and just ask me for some god damn money so you can get high as a kite on smack.

And by the way .. I have lost me temper at this bum many times already (she haunts the local shops where I work) because she stands behind me at the bakery and asks if *I* could buy *HER* something?

Huh?

Just a little something amongst other things that have got to me this week. But luckily my journal gets most the crap

</bitch>

~~~Fallyn~~~

 

[Bandit58]

I had to educate my daughter pretty quickly when she came to visit us in Sydney recently - NEVER give money to people, it's begging and it's illegal and most probably ends up getting shot up their arm She's from the country in NZ and doesn't see that sort of thing at all. The guy who asked us for money was begging at the train station, we saw him try just about everyone who was waiting.

I'm from the country too but I've been here for over 2 years - Master had to educate me too

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

I know I have at least a mild case or worse variety of depression. There were days I would have to force myself to eat because I had no cravings for food. I know a few times I got in trouble at work because of it. My solution is just to tough it out, but this isn't for everyone. I do this because I am a cheap bastard and don't wanta pay for meds and I know tomorrow can be a better day, I just need to make it there. I suggest Rebellious that you do whatever it takes to get you back on an upswing short of breaking the law.

That's good advice. Personally, I have zero desire to be doped up on meds that take away my sex drive and leave me a 'unfeeling' zombie. That's what happened for the short time I allowed medical doctors to fuck with my head.

Now, I take a pill that's perfectly natural, has no side effects, leaves my sex drive alone, leaves me able to feel, without as much rage. Yes, I'm still pissed off, ROFL, but it's not so in your face. I don't 'snap' so easily. What I take isn't for everyone, but it works for me. And I can buy it at Wal-Mart, or any store like it including some pharmacies, for little money.

LOL, I just realized I didn't name it. It's 5-HTP.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

That's good advice. Personally, I have zero desire to be doped up on meds that take away my sex drive and leave me a 'unfeeling' zombie. That's what happened for the short time I allowed medical doctors to fuck with my head.

Now, I take a pill that's perfectly natural, has no side effects, leaves my sex drive alone, leaves me able to feel, without as much rage. Yes, I'm still pissed off, ROFL, but it's not so in your face. I don't 'snap' so easily. What I take isn't for everyone, but it works for me. And I can buy it at Wal-Mart, or any store like it including some pharmacies, for little money.

LOL, I just realized I didn't name it. It's 5-HTP.

I might take a look at this, by my personality I have a quick temper. Most of the time its just at an annoyed or a bit mad level, but I can remember about 6 months ago I was shaking with fury and near tears because I was so mad.

On the depression side, My adopted sister in law takes some meds for ??. I feel sad for her because in the quest not to suffer from whatever it is, she also seems to level out any Highs to ease the lows. So she lives in the middle without any seemingly high or low points.

 

[alice_underneath]

Sometimes, I get ...severely depressed. I'm not really talking about, "wow, its a down day..." ...I have clinical depression... and somedays, its more difficult than others to cope with things. Today is one of those days, I suppose. I realize this isn't a depression board, and I am a member of several.. but seems like I could use a bit of ranting from time to time.

At Lit, I recommend taking Brioche up on her kind offer. I also recommend this thread:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=425117&page=1&pp=25

On the web, I recommend this site as a source of general information:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/HealthInformation/depressionmenu.cfm

In the three dimensional world, I recommend two things: sustained professional assistance, and at least one friend or family member who understands exactly what you need, and why.

My sincere best wishes to you, Rebellious Sub, and to all those who suffer from this disease.

Alice

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sometimes, I get ...severely depressed. I'm not really talking about, "wow, its a down day..." ...I have clinical depression... and somedays, its more difficult than others to cope with things. Today is one of those days, I suppose. I realize this isn't a depression board, and I am a member of several.. but seems like I could use a bit of ranting from time to time, so if I ever come in here, and just start.. I don't know... *crying and throwing things, beating the hell out of pillows, and screaming* .... you know its nothing you all did...

Today's main theme for me is that I want isolation... yet I don't... (which makes no sense.. I suppose) But every time I get *alone* then I get angry, "what, doesn't anyone want to be around me?!" kind of attitude... and I hate that, I dislike that I do that, or even think that way, its juvenile, its contradictory.. and I wouldnt want someone to treat (or think) that way either... *sigh* ...

Maybe seeing it, is part of the battle for me... I am aware of how stupid this all seems, *IS* ... now to do something constructive about it... that's the trick...

Thanks for letting me vent here...

You have my empathy. Venting is good, forcing yourself to do things is good, but as you have probably already realised, you are the only one who can really work on it and even then if you have it bad, even that is going to be ineffective. I try to remind myself it will pass, and if he is around, he does a good job of reminding me if I slack off and begin to cave in to it beyond all reason.

Catalina

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

I might take a look at this, by my personality I have a quick temper. Most of the time its just at an annoyed or a bit mad level, but I can remember about 6 months ago I was shaking with fury and near tears because I was so mad.

If I'm near tears, or crying, [BOLD]everyone[/BOLD] would be running for cover, LOL. But I know exactly what you mean. Before I took 5-HTP I was in a near state of rage nearly every waking moment. Yes, my temper is still hot, LOLOL, but I don't go off for no reason anymore. Well, at least not much, LOL!

On the depression side, My adopted sister in law takes some meds for ??. I feel sad for her because in the quest not to suffer from whatever it is, she also seems to level out any Highs to ease the lows. So she lives in the middle without any seemingly high or low points.

That's one of the ways most anti-depressants work. They stop the swings by blocking seratonin, the hormone that helps to dictate mood. So no more high-highs in order to avoid the low-lows. *shrug* If it works for whomever, then I can't and won't cast doubt. It's just not for me.

What's nice about 5-HTP is that instead of blocking your seratonin receptors it simply supplements, naturally, what you make. So if your seratonin receptors don't grab as much as they should - based on what your body produces- 5-HTP gives you a dose of MORE. More seratonin available for the receptors, more even mood.

A bit off topic, but have any of you seen "What The Bleep Do We Know?" It's a movie about physics. That the science, not the para-science, LOL. It's fascinating, absolutely fascinating.

And my rant for the day, not a big one but -- why in the hell does my cat have to get under my feet ONLY when my hands are full of something? Twice today he's tripped me up, once when I had plates full of food for the kidlets and once when I had a couple of twelve packs in my arms. Damn it, my big toe is still throbbing!

 

[FurryFury]

That's one of the ways most anti-depressants work. They stop the swings by blocking seratonin, the hormone that helps to dictate mood. So no more high-highs in order to avoid the low-lows. *shrug* If it works for whomever, then I can't and won't cast doubt. It's just not for me.

What's nice about 5-HTP is that instead of blocking your seratonin receptors it simply supplements, naturally, what you make. So if your seratonin receptors don't grab as much as they should - based on what your body produces- 5-HTP gives you a dose of MORE. More seratonin available for the receptors, more even mood.

A bit off topic, but have any of you seen "What The Bleep Do We Know?" It's a movie about physics. That the science, not the para-science, LOL. It's fascinating, absolutely fascinating.

And my rant for the day, not a big one but -- why in the hell does my cat have to get under my feet ONLY when my hands are full of something? Twice today he's tripped me up, once when I had plates full of food for the kidlets and once when I had a couple of twelve packs in my arms. Damn it, my big toe is still throbbing!

The 5 HTP sounds intriguing. The cat sounds normal! LOL!

*kisses your boo boo*

Sorries but pussies are prone to that sort of thing.


Fury

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

ROFLMAO! Okay, point taken! Pussies can be SO much trouble, LOLOL! In a good way, but trouble nonetheless.

And you know, I tried to talk to him about it. The cat, not my pussy, ROFL, but he just doesn't care. *sigh* He's the only male I let walk all over me. He's so spoiled.

 

[FurryFury]

My lil cat is my serenity and snuggle buddy. I wouldn't give up anything for her. She makes my days and nights. *smiles*

Fury

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

Thanks all

Thank you all for the support. You all have very good points. I am not currently taking meds for the depression, although I was prescribed some... but like pointed out, it dulls my life in ways I find unacceptable.. It is better, for me personally to attempt to pull myself up, work thru the moments of pain and hurt..fight whatever demons lurk and then move on.

I have been to the point of not eating, losing a job because I couldnt manage to get myself out of bed.. but no more. That was four yrs ago, I can beat this, one day at a time..

Its difficult somedays, but venting and realizing too that my own reactions cause much of my problems (IE pushing people away when I really desire their attention) I can change these things myself, as I learn to handle my past.

Thanks again for all the support here. It helps tremendously.

 

[graceanne]

I'm sorry, rebellious. I've been there, too. *hugs* I also hate taking pills. Actually those words don't truelly express how I feel about pills. I HATE TAKING PILLS! There, that's better. I haven't counted my daily pills recently, but I believe I'm up around 15 or so. In my case if I don't take them I get really sick. *sigh* I'm glad you found something un-chemical to help you out. As for the depression, come here and bitch. It always helps me to vent.

 

[brioche]

I'm sorry, rebellious. I've been there, too. *hugs* I also hate taking pills. Actually those words don't truelly express how I feel about pills. I HATE TAKING PILLS! There, that's better. I haven't counted my daily pills recently, but I believe I'm up around 15 or so. In my case if I don't take them I get really sick. *sigh* I'm glad you found something un-chemical to help you out. As for the depression, come here and bitch. It always helps me to vent.

I'm with you, sweetie. I hate it, hate ir. I actually went to my doctor once and said, "I'm taking too many pills. Eliminate one." She did, too. I don't like them either, but sometimes you have to take them.
I am very happy to hear that some people are able to manage without meds, or with natural meds, but I am not one of them, though I tried. It took me a decade to find a good regimen. I have to disagree about the lack of high-highs though - once you have found balance, you can find those highs again, but it takes time.

 

[brioche]

That's good advice. Personally, I have zero desire to be doped up on meds that take away my sex drive and leave me a 'unfeeling' zombie. That's what happened for the short time I allowed medical doctors to fuck with my head.

Now, I take a pill that's perfectly natural, has no side effects, leaves my sex drive alone, leaves me able to feel, without as much rage. Yes, I'm still pissed off, ROFL, but it's not so in your face. I don't 'snap' so easily. What I take isn't for everyone, but it works for me. And I can buy it at Wal-Mart, or any store like it including some pharmacies, for little money.

LOL, I just realized I didn't name it. It's 5-HTP.

As I said earlier, I'm glad this worked for you. For anyone who is reading this, Emma was taking a drug that didn't work for her. It is a delicate process to find the right drug because you are working with the brain. The right medication will not make you feel this way, so please don't hesitate to contact your doctor if you think you are having a depressive episode. If nothing else, you may get a few answers. Medication is not required in all cases.

 

[brioche]

The pain in my muscles is coming back.
I don't need this.

 

[brioche]

Wwll, the good news is that I am teaching Kindergarten next year. One class JK, one class JK/SK, and both at the same school.
The bad news is that the principal is a bitch who I've recently lost respect for.
Sigh.

 

[FurryFury]

Wwll, the good news is that I am teaching Kindergarten next year. One class JK, one class JK/SK, and both at the same school.
The bad news is that the principal is a bitch who I've recently lost respect for.
Sigh.

Well good!

Oh, that's bad.

I know all about bitch from hell bosses. I had a nightmare about my ex boss last night. Silly fool had cut her hair short and bleached it. That was a waaaay bad move. LMAO! Still it was a nightmare. She is a nightmare. Ugh!

Fury

 

[graceanne]

Wwll, the good news is that I am teaching Kindergarten next year. One class JK, one class JK/SK, and both at the same school.
The bad news is that the principal is a bitch who I've recently lost respect for.
Sigh.

And I'm sorry about the bitch boss, I wish you could have gotten the dream job.

 

[FurryFury]

*screams*

 

[raven2]

*screams*

Why screaming?

 

[graceanne]

*screams*

*hugs*