The Best and Worst of Pickup Lines 2005

[Dar~]

What is the best pickup line you have ever heard?
Whats the worst?
What was the funniest?


Not neccessarily a lne, but a guy once called me a dirty slut in front of my boyfriend. The boyfriend turned slugged the guy and said "yeah, she's my dirty slut' I hadn't even had sex with him.

"So, your husband's gone? I bet you use a lot of toys, huh? Want some help?"-Drunk guy in the bar. By the end of the night he was freak dancing in the mirror with himself.

"Baby, I love every bone in your body, especially mine."-Ex-Boyfriend I responded with "that bone will never be in my body." ( i still laugh about it today.)

 

[BlackShanglan]

My uncle allegedly got away with "Dump this jerk and meet me in half an hour," a line he'd just seen in a movie. After the ensuing brawl, he was in fact met in half an hour.

Shanglan

 

[hydrex]

Best I ever heard from a woman.....My panties are all wet, do you think you could sop up some of the juice for me? hehehe I was all tongue after that.


here's a bad one from a guy, "you look a little hot, I have a rectal thermometer."

 

[impressive]

I typically have no trouble with: Fuck me now.

Short. Simple. Direct. Effective.

 

[hydrex]

My uncle allegedly got away with "Dump this jerk and meet me in half an hour," a line he'd just seen in a movie. After the ensuing brawl, he was in fact met in half an hour.

Shanglan

say hi to your Aunt for me. LOL that was a good one I might have to give it a go.

 

[hydrex]

I typically have no trouble with: Fuck me now.

Short. Simple. Direct. Effective.

yeah, coming from a woman that would work for me.

 

[hydrex]

A good friend of mine saw a girl at a party once. He went across the room, gave her a long deep kiss, and said "Let's get married" They did and have been happily married for twenty years now.

 

[Dar~]

Is that a mirror in your pocket?
no why?
Because I can see myself in your pants.

 

[Guest]

 

[Belegon]

I typically have no trouble with: Fuck me now.

Short. Simple. Direct. Effective.

*taking notes*

 

[TheEarl]

Your eyes are like spanners. They make my nuts tighten.

I had a friend who used to get away with some truly appalling ones. All of these worked and got him a kiss and a phone number:

C'mon, I know you like me. I can see your tail wagging.
I may not be the most handsome guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you, aren't I?
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want cash?

The Earl

 

[impressive]

*taking notes*

A raised eyebrow will work for you.

 

[Guest]

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

"Saw you earlier on the dance floor, but never gave you a second thought."

[beat]

"Still too busy with the first."

 

[Lovepotion69]

"Would you like a boyfriend for a night?" said by weird drunk (??) Norwegian guy in Oslo.

 

[Guest]

It was my sig line for a while:

Me? I'm nobody. No, wait. I can prove it. I was in the forest last week and a tree fell. Didn't make a sound. Why is that important? Everybody knows, "Nobody's Perfect."

 

[minsue]

Worst ever said to me personally - (in a smarmy voice, of course) "You're starting to look a lot like your mom." I've never pushed a guy off me so fast in my life. Especially because he was serious. *shudder*

 

[Liar]

"Let's go to my place and do like bunnies, I need something juicy for my vlog."

Hey, this is 2005 after all.

But to my defense...it almost worked.

 

[blackhaus7]

As a toast:

Here's to your eyes,
Here's to your thighs,
Our eyes have met,
Our thighs not yet,
Here's to hope.

It worked for her.

 

[minsue]

But to my defense...it almost worked.

PMSL!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Worst ever said to me personally - (in a smarmy voice, of course) "You're starting to look a lot like your mom." I've never pushed a guy off me so fast in my life. Especially because he was serious. *shudder*

*shudder* That is extremely nasty. I think I'd have to kick him very hard if I ever heard him say it to you.

(Love the ladybird outfit) -

Shanglan

 

[LadyJeanne]

(Love the ladybird outfit)

Beetlegoose!

 

[minsue]

*shudder* That is extremely nasty. I think I'd have to kick him very hard if I ever heard him say it to you.

(Love the ladybird outfit) -

Shanglan

Horsey! You've come back to us!

In his own special lil way, he meant it as a compliment. He was a friend of my older brother's and had a crush on her as a teenager. Not that knowing that made me feel much better. Or kept me from running any faster. . .



Watch out, Lady J. Say it twice more and I may just appear.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Horsey! You've come back to us!

Delighted to be back, and to have such a kind welcome.

Watch out, Lady J. Say it twice more and I may just appear.

<Insert suitable comment involving briar patches.>

Shanglan

 

[minsue]

Delighted to be back, and to have such a kind welcome.



<Insert suitable comment involving briar patches.>

Shanglan

You do know how I love those briar patches.