The average woman...

[scheherazade_79]

... farts 6-12 times every 24 hours according to one of my mother's magazines.

Does anyone else think this is a conservative estimate?

I'm sure I've had days when I've hit the lower figure by breakfast...

 

[EnglishGuy1982]

... farts 6-12 times every 24 hours according to one of my mother's magazines.

Does anyone else think this is a conservative estimate?

I'm sure I've had days when I've hit the lower figure by breakfast...

Women Fart???

 

[Selena_Kitt]

... farts 6-12 times every 24 hours according to one of my mother's magazines.

Does anyone else think this is a conservative estimate?

I'm sure I've had days when I've hit the lower figure by breakfast...

ROFLMAO....

Okay, I have to know the context of this article... what's the title???

*still snickering*

 

[scheherazade_79]

Women Fart???

Fart as in 'drop something you can't pick up', or 'engage in biological warfare', or 'sound the distress siren'.

Of course women fart! It's just that I'm among the minority who are willing to admit to it.

Even the Queen farts.

 

[oggbashan]

The average Og...

... farts more often than that.

It's an unfortunate side-effect of one of the prescribed pills I take to control my blood pressure. I have to leave the room fairly frequently.

If I eat baked beans, or worse a hot curry, I become a wind machine.

Og

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Women Fart???

Only in private and/or after they are married. If on a date they store it all up until they get home or have a girlfriend to go with them to the restroom to light a match.

 

[scheherazade_79]

ROFLMAO....

Okay, I have to know the context of this article... what's the title???

*still snickering*

It was something along the lines of: "Controlling Your Wind"

Unfortunately it didn't really have anything helpful in it. It admitted that fruit and vegetables can be a problem, but advised people not to cut fruit and veg out of their diet... because it was unhealthy.

It also said that you shouldn't hold your farts in, because it can give you stomach ulcers.

At least I'll never have that problem

 

[scheherazade_79]

... farts more often than that.

It's an unfortunate side-effect of one of the prescribed pills I take to control my blood pressure. I have to leave the room fairly frequently.

If I eat baked beans, or worse a hot curry, I become a wind machine.

Og

Let's meet up, eat some curry and have a contest!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

It also said that you shouldn't hold your farts in, because it can give you stomach ulcers.

At least I'll never have that problem

But letting them out silently and blaming the dog is still okay?

*snerk*

 

[scheherazade_79]

Only in private and/or after they are married. If on a date they store it all up until they get home or have a girlfriend to go with them to the restroom to light a match.

Did you read about that woman on a plane? They had to make an emergency landing, because there was a strong smell of burning. It turned out that the woman had been farting, and had struck a couple of matches to get rid of the smell... which everyone mistook for a serious fault with the plane.

Oh the shame

 

[oggbashan]

Let's meet up, eat some curry and have a contest!

If I make Manchester next year, will you?

I owe Just Legal a steak meal at Wetherspoons. They do curries too.

Og

 

[scheherazade_79]

But letting them out silently and blaming the dog is still okay?

*snerk*

You're lucky - I haven't mastered the art of making mine silent Mine are head-turners that make people jump.

 

[scheherazade_79]

If I make Manchester next year, will you?

I owe Just Legal a steak meal at Wetherspoons. They do curries too.

Og

That's a date

 

[oggbashan]

You're lucky - I haven't mastered the art of making mine silent Mine are head-turners that make people jump.

That reminds me of a joke about Lumberjacks...

Mine are fairly quiet. Some say that's a sign of an overused arse.

Og

 

[Samandiriel]

... farts 6-12 times every 24 hours according to one of my mother's magazines.

Does anyone else think this is a conservative estimate?

I'm sure I've had days when I've hit the lower figure by breakfast...

Some days I'm above average.

 

[scheherazade_79]

That reminds me of a joke about Lumberjacks...

Mine are fairly quiet. Some say that's a sign of an overused arse.

Og

Is it overused?

 

[scheherazade_79]

Some days I'm above average.

Sam, I'd never expect you to be mediocre in anything

Come, join me and Og for a curry!

 

[rgraham666]

I often have to wear a sign that says 'No Smoking Within 10 Feet (3 Metres) Of This Pump'.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I often have to wear a sign that says 'No Smoking Within 10 Feet (3 Metres) Of This Pump'.

I saw a video once, where a guy tried to light his friend's fart. Unfortunately, the friend farted with such force that it sent a blue fireball up the other guy's arm

 

[Guest]

That's a date

I
queen of fartdom

challenge you both to a gas off!


you shall not win.

 

[oggbashan]

Is it overused?

I didn't think you would be interested.

Og

 

[scheherazade_79]

I didn't think you would be interested.

Og

I'm always interested in smut!

 

[scheherazade_79]

I
queen of fartdom

challenge you both to a gas off!


you shall not win.

Now why didn't you say that at Mat and Mindy's wedding?????

We could have had such fun!

You have no idea how many I held in during the wedding ceremony... Ask Becca. I notified her about each one.

 

[rgraham666]

I had a book, The Book Of Heroic Failures. Sort of like the Darwin Awards except no one dies.

One of the stories related was about a vet who tried to treat some cow's gastro-intestinal distress.

He inserted a pipe in that end of the cow not capable of facial expression and lit a match. The resultant jet of flame set fire to some hay bales which spread to destroy the barn.

The vet was fined for starting a fire in a manner 'surprising to the magistrate'.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I had a book, The Book Of Heroic Failures. Sort of like the Darwin Awards except no one dies.

One of the stories related was about a vet who tried to treat some cow's gastro-intestinal distress.

was the cow ok after?