Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,255
just waiting for the surgeon's attention for transplant.
I put in an Anaesthetics machine.
and it knocks itself out.
I put in a few iatrogenic hallucinations...
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just waiting for the surgeon's attention for transplant.
I put in an Anaesthetics machine.
and you get an elderly woman who thinks you are a giant mushroom that it trying to eat her after she took a ranitidine (can cause hallucinations in the elderly).
I put in the nasty side effects of statins; muscle cramps, nightmares, depression and tiredness (for a lucky few, wicked diarrheoa).
Several pints of suitable medicine later, you emerge, bloodied, but unbowed.
I put in a soft-boiled egg and some lightly-done toast.
and you get additional vegemite soldiers, essential in situations such as this.
I put in grilled mushrooms, tomatoes, tallowwood smoked bacon and a sausage,
And you get a 3-minute spot on the Today Show, right after weather, and just before the vapid interview with Joel Osteen.
I put in a Pig Destroyer CD while setting up the sound system for someone's wedding reception...
Abd you get an award for 'Most Inappropriate Wedding Music Ever'.
I put in a Vivaldi cd and some smoked salmon salted with salmonella for said same reception.
and you get a Conga Line heading for the toilets.
I put in a suggestive prothalamion...
And you get pictures of wedding guest taking the suggestion (Uncle Boris with his Real Girl is worth framing).
I put in a cod piece made out of wedding cake.
and the bride keeps eating after the cake is gone.
I put in a piece of cod...
and because it's smoked you get a lovely bowl of cullenskink and a chunk of my homemade beer bread.
I put in a slice of pavlova with passionfruit, pineapple and kiwi fruit.
and Anna grabs the nearest chevalier for a delectably exotic erotic pas-de-deux.
I put in the whites of six Emu eggs...
and you get a meringue the size of a family tent!
I put in a session of googling an ex and dreaming up a gratuitous vicious smear campaign.
and you end up buying The Idiot's Guide to Effective Stalking which you use extensively.
I put in a set of night vision goggles and camo paint to help you 'guard' the ex at night...
and you get served a very strongly worded restraining order.
I put in a stalker's stalker...
I put in a giant fly swatter for people who annoy you.
And it gets taken away by a giant fly.
I put in a bottle of sunscreen factor 65.
and find the Sun's power level has been set at 85.
I put in an interesting skin shade...
And some Nazis ask for their lampshade back.
I put in a book for skin mole spotting.
and every time you look, the moles have burrowed further.
I put in a soft piece of moleskin...
which is just the right size for repairing the moleskin waste-coat
I put in lots of thread.
and the elves tat you a lace body suit.
I put in one sexy dragon...
and you get your house humped good and proper and then lightly singed.
I put in The Joy of Sex for Mythological Creatures (uncensored version!)
And the Dragon refuses to return it; or emerge from his cave.
I advertise for a Lady Dragon to help him.
and you read the obits to discover that, unfortunately, the Dragon Lady has passed away.
I put in the memory of Madame Nhu...