The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[JeffLeigh]

And out pops a lil bonsai tree


I put in two rat tails

and the machine spits them back out. It only takes whole rats.

I put in a beautiful, brand new mider saw...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the machine spits them back out. It only takes whole rats.

I put in a beautiful, brand new mider saw...

and the Bishop's new mitre comes in two beveled pieces.

I put in a Papal inquisition into the Manichean heresy...

 

[Naughty_Misty]

And get back a copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I put in an old Jake Plummer Arizona Cardinals football Jersery...

 

[Handley_Page]

And get back a copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I put in an old Jake Plummer Arizona Cardinals football Jersery...

But the 'States of Jersey reject the gift.

I put in a Tenon Saw.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But the 'States of Jersey reject the gift.

I put in a Tenon Saw.

and Rigor Mortis sets in.

I put in a disarticulated skeleton...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and Rigor Mortis sets in.

I put in a disarticulated skeleton...

and, a bone is a bone is a boner.

I put in a puppy digging a hole.

 

[Naughty_Misty]

and, a bone is a bone is a boner.

I put in a puppy digging a hole.

And here's the repair bill to fix the sprinkler system! *hee hee*

I put in a failed cake decorating experiment.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And here's the repair bill to fix the sprinkler system! *hee hee*

I put in a failed cake decorating experiment.

and, I give you a number 18 tip to fix the whole mess with stars.

I put in a very nice buttercream frosting recipe.

 

[Naughty_Misty]

and, I give you a number 18 tip to fix the whole mess with stars.

I put in a very nice buttercream frosting recipe.

Oh how incredibly sexy... someone who talks food.

You get back a decadent desert on a unique serving platter!

I put in a the unfinished crossword puzzle the morning paper.

 

[Austin8]

Oh how incredibly sexy... someone who talks food.

You get back a decadent desert on a unique serving platter!

I put in a the unfinished crossword puzzle the morning paper.

and the machine chunks it out. You find it's filled out in the aliens native lingo, with a plea for a more challenging puzzle.

I put in a fruit smoothie

 

[Handley_Page]

and the machine chunks it out. You find it's filled out in the aliens native lingo, with a plea for a more challenging puzzle.

I put in a fruit smoothie

And this proves to be the challenge required. After two days of crunching and whirring, clanking of gears and ringing of bells, it puts out a piece of paper that says: "Water & stuff".

I put in a pint of water.

 

[kimbalee]

And this proves to be the challenge required. After two days of crunching and whirring, clanking of gears and ringing of bells, it puts out a piece of paper that says: "Water & stuff".

I put in a pint of water.

I add freshly squeezed lemon juice and a tiny bit of sweetener, then pour over ice .

I put in a single shot coffee pot, barely used and apparently now broken, which is completely ticking me off at the moment...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

I add freshly squeezed lemon juice and a tiny bit of sweetener, then pour over ice .

I put in a single shot coffee pot, barely used and apparently now broken, which is completely ticking me off at the moment...

and I loan you my can of can of tick repellent.

I put in a jar of instant coffee.

 

[kimbalee]

and I loan you my can of can of tick repellent.

I put in a jar of instant coffee.

and you get an immediate smile from me.

I put in a few cookies to share...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get an immediate smile from me.

I put in a few cookies to share...

and, you get snickers with the doodling.

I put in a pad with Austin's etchings.

 

[kimbalee]

and, you get snickers with the doodling.

I put in a pad with Austin's etchings.

and I see that they are dated from quite a while ago... with no recent entries.

I put in a request that he remedy that and post something new to his sketchbook here...

 

[Austin8]

and I see that they are dated from quite a while ago... with no recent entries.

I put in a request that he remedy that and post something new to his sketchbook here...

and you get an IOU for a drawing come winter

I put in some filtered water from a depression in the cool granite stone at the national park

 

[kimbalee]

and you get an IOU for a drawing come winter

I put in some filtered water from a depression in the cool granite stone at the national park

you get a hand shake for this deal and a skeptical look form me as I eye the water...

I put in a mental images of a walk near the river...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

you get a hand shake for this deal and a skeptical look form me as I eye the water...

I put in a mental images of a walk near the river...

and, you see Austin in his backpack walking on the other side of the river still afraid to cross it, Tio in the middle paddling a canoe, Lynn sunning herself on a huge boulder with her laptop on her outstretched legs, Honey gettting her toes wet along the bank, HP standing next to the dragon on a leash, and me walking next to you talking about how much fun the river can be.

I put in an empty liquor bottle to collect some of the river water.

 

[kimbalee]

and, you see Austin in his backpack walking on the other side of the river still afraid to cross it, Tio in the middle paddling a canoe, Lynn sunning herself on a huge boulder with her laptop on her outstretched legs, Honey gettting her toes wet along the bank, HP standing next to the dragon on a leash, and me walking next to you talking about how much fun the river can be.

I put in an empty liquor bottle to collect some of the river water.

and you get a nice frame for the picture you have painted.

I put a copy of the pic in the scrapbook for safe keeping...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a nice frame for the picture you have painted.

I put a copy of the pic in the scrapbook for safe keeping...

and, I put the scrapbook up on the shelf to show company when they stop by.

I put in a set of marble bookends.

 

[kimbalee]

and, I put the scrapbook up on the shelf to show company when they stop by.

I put in a set of marble bookends.

and you get a gift card for Barnes & Noble so you can put something between them.

I put in some vanilla ice cream with chocolate covered pretzel bits that I thought would be much more worth the calorie count than this...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a gift card for Barnes & Noble so you can put something between them.

I put in some vanilla ice cream with chocolate covered pretzel bits that I thought would be much more worth the calorie count than this...

and you find out there are no calories in just reading about the ice cream, just fun thinking about it.

I put in a melon baller.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you find out there are no calories in just reading about the ice cream, just fun thinking about it.

I put in a melon baller.

and someone ends up with creamed bosom.

I put in a pitcher's mound...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and someone ends up with creamed bosom.

I put in a pitcher's mound...

and, you get a very fair game.

I put in a couple of basket balls.