The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[xOxCherryxOx]

and they nearly match the green shoes.


I put in a pair of red glasses

And they go perfectly with my naughty school girl outfit!

I put in a icecream cone..

 

[Handley_Page]

And they go perfectly with my naughty school girl outfit!

I put in a icecream cone..

and find it is the perfect size for a 2.4GHz aerial for your computer network.


I put in a light bulb

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and find it is the perfect size for a 2.4GHz aerial for your computer network.


I put in a light bulb

and it dawns on you that you missed the naughty school girl outfit.

I put in a bit of hindsight...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it dawns on you that you missed the naughty school girl outfit.

I put in a bit of hindsight...

And, HP gets a picture of it and posts it in the Personals for you.

I put in the last green beer.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, HP gets a picture of it and posts it in the Personals for you.

I put in the last green beer.

and you get a sigh of relief from the all the Irishmen and ladies who can't stand the stuff.

I put in a fresh-pulled pint of Mackeson's Stout...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a sigh of relief from the all the Irishmen and ladies who can't stand the stuff.

I put in a fresh-pulled pint of Mackeson's Stout...

And, the vending gal slides it on down the bar until it stops in your right hand and she makes me another cosmopolitan.

I put in a wedge of lemon.

 

[mr_rippley]

And, the vending gal slides it on down the bar until it stops in your right hand and she makes me another cosmopolitan.

I put in a wedge of lemon.

and I twist it over a filet of mahi mahi.

I put in a red rubber ball.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and I twist it over a filet of mahi mahi.

I put in a red rubber ball.

And, yes the worst is over now

I put in a collection of parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, yes the worst is over now

I put in a collection of parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.

and you get an acre of land between the salt water and the sea sand.

I put in a bridge over troubled waters...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get an acre of land between the salt water and the sea sand.

I put in a bridge over troubled waters...

and Babs & I are seen wandering into a blissful future.


I put in a drawbridge with a jammed gear. It's up!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and Babs & I are seen wandering into a blissful future.


I put in a drawbridge with a jammed gear. It's up!

and the Spanish Armada finally gets to sail into an English port.

I put in the Grand Canal...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the Spanish Armada finally gets to sail into an English port.

I put in the Grand Canal...

and the Gondoliers are all on strike

I put in a Bolinder Engine.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the Gondoliers are all on strike

I put in a Bolinder Engine.

and Toyota wants to know where Bolander himself is; they need help with engine control.

I put in a new floor mat made of Band-Aids...

 

[Handley_Page]

and Toyota wants to know where Bolander himself is; they need help with engine control.

I put in a new floor mat made of Band-Aids...

Bolinder's in Sweden, I think. Toyota can buy one. . . . . . .
First time I ever heard of an injured floor!

I put in a fine sanding belt.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Bolinder's in Sweden, I think. Toyota can buy one. . . . . . .
First time I ever heard of an injured floor!

I put in a fine sanding belt.

and it sure is a fine belt for sanding, but he wears suspenders.

(Toyota seemed to think their floor mat was the acceleration problem - changing it is like treating cancer with a band-aid)
(Bolander worked for GM in Detroit; specialised in engine controls)

I put in a woven thread of oxhide...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it sure is a fine belt for sanding, but he wears suspenders.

(Toyota seemed to think their floor mat was the acceleration problem - changing it is like treating cancer with a band-aid)
(Bolander worked for GM in Detroit; specialised in engine controls)

I put in a woven thread of oxhide...

And, I teach the ox how to find a better place to hide before the weaver finds him.

I put in a silk necktie.

Hey, guys, I had a car years ago that had a floor mat that always worked its way up underneath the gas pedal. Very annoying, but I knew what was doing it and could fix it in a hurry. Scarey, the first time it happened. I finally threw away the mat. Can't remember if it was the Hornet, or the Aries.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, I teach the ox how to find a better place to hide before the weaver finds him.

I put in a silk necktie.

Hey, guys, I had a car years ago that had a floor mat that always worked its way up underneath the gas pedal. Very annoying, but I knew what was doing it and could fix it in a hurry. Scarey, the first time it happened. I finally threw away the mat. Can't remember if it was the Hornet, or the Aries.

and you find it makes a perfect blindfold.

I put in a pair of fur-lined handcuffs (not real fur, of course, that'd be cruel)...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you find it makes a perfect blindfold.

I put in a pair of fur-lined handcuffs (not real fur, of course, that'd be cruel)...

And, since you don't want to be cruel, I get to put them on you.

I put in a very long peacock feather (a real one that I found on the beach).

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, since you don't want to be cruel, I get to put them on you.

I put in a very long peacock feather (a real one that I found on the beach).

and we all wonder which beach and what a peacock was doing there.

I put in a ticklish man in cuffs...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and we all wonder which beach and what a peacock was doing there.

I put in a ticklish man in cuffs...

And, the silly man knows how to giggle and squirm and laugh out loud, too.

I put in a book of very punny funs.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, the silly man knows how to giggle and squirm and laugh out loud, too.

I put in a book of very punny funs.

and the Reverend Spooner drops by for a tot of spea.

I put in a nun and a woman in a bathtub...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Reverend Spooner drops by for a tot of spea.

I put in a nun and a woman in a bathtub...

And, you get a three-way to remember.

I put in a front door knocker.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, you get a three-way to remember.

I put in a front door knocker.

and you find many admiring your knockers.

I put in a knock on your knocker...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you find many admiring your knockers.

I put in a knock on your knocker...

and from somewhere at the back of the house there's the sound of thunder.

I put in an under-age Royal Python

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and from somewhere at the back of the house there's the sound of thunder.

I put in an under-age Royal Python

and, it very quickly becomes dinner for the dragon.

I put in a snake skin wallet.