The Ask for DB's Insights On Life, the Universe, and Everything Thread

[DeservingBitch]

I've been mandated by a few of you to get out of lurking mode and post more, as apparently my genious insights are being missed.

I've been in lurking mode for a little while because with my kinky life having been non-existent for WAY too long, I don't feel I have much to contribute. But not wanting to disapoint my fans, I'm making a thread for you. Go ahead, ask me what you want to know about my take on life, the universe, and everything.

Or crush my ego and let this thread die.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'm in.

Here's today's question.

I am in a foul mood for no justifiable reason. I mean yeah, there's drama and stuff but the big picture is just fine and good.

What I would generally prescribe for myself is either a serious ass-kicking, or an opportunity to kick someone else's ass, and get those endorphins all up where they ought to be. But that's not an option just at the moment.

So the question is, when a sound flogging is not an option, what tools do you use and/or recommend for attitude adjustment?

bj

 

[Netzach]

Dear DB - can you be my clean your fucking house Domme?

I need one badly. I should find the motivation within and all that happy horseshit, but really, I would perform better if someone just spanked me or something.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I'm in.

Here's today's question.

I am in a foul mood for no justifiable reason. I mean yeah, there's drama and stuff but the big picture is just fine and good.

What I would generally prescribe for myself is either a serious ass-kicking, or an opportunity to kick someone else's ass, and get those endorphins all up where they ought to be. But that's not an option just at the moment.

So the question is, when a sound flogging is not an option, what tools do you use and/or recommend for attitude adjustment?

bj

My favorites, in no necessary order:

Self-inflicted wax play (am I the only Top who prefer this option to a bubble bath?)
Clothespins and nipple clamps are another easily available and easily inflicted on yourself tool for pain if you're into it.

Also works well on my endorphin level:

Shopping for shoes
Tasty bad for you food (the worst for you the better)
Jerking off

 

[DeservingBitch]

Dear DB - can you be my clean your fucking house Domme?

I need one badly. I should find the motivation within and all that happy horseshit, but really, I would perform better if someone just spanked me or something.

I would gladly spank you and do all other mean fun things on you, on the condition that you do the same for me.

I too badly need a clean your fucking house and get your shit together Domme.

Deal?

 

[midwestyankee]

Dear DB - can you be my clean your fucking house Domme?

I need one badly. I should find the motivation within and all that happy horseshit, but really, I would perform better if someone just spanked me or something.

I would gladly spank you and do all other mean fun things on you, on the condition that you do the same for me.

I too badly need a clean your fucking house and get your shit together Domme.

Deal?

Damn that gender fence.

DB, as a non-American you no doubt have an interesting perspective on our politics. What's your take on Hillary Clinton's role in the evolution of feminism?

 

[DeservingBitch]

Damn that gender fence.

DB, as a non-American you no doubt have an interesting perspective on our politics. What's your take on Hillary Clinton's role in the evolution of feminism?

Interesting question.

My feminism is about social justice and equality, for everyone.

As such, the kind of liberal, white middle-class privileged 'feminism' that Hillary Clinton apparently stand for as nothing to do with what I consider social justice and equality.

So, to answer your question, her contribution to the feminism I believe in is close to none.

In my opinioin, social justice and equality is not something that will be achieved by putting more women in official position of power, or by merely changing the laws, or by affirmative actions alone. All those can contribute to the desired goal (or not), but what is needed as I understand it is a radical transformation of our systems of believes and structures of power.

The current status quo won't be challenged from the top, through the actions of those who benefit the most from it. Hillary Clinton and the likes has nothing to gain from challenging the status quo, and everything to lose from such a transformation.

So, to summarize, I don't believe that meaningful, significant change toward a more equal, just society is going to be achieved by working within the system. Reforms are merely that: reforms. Reforms can only do so much toward equality and justice, as they start from an acceptance of the general structure in place, and only seeks to make it better, ie less unequal and oppressive. If you start from the assumption (like I do) that the current structures in place are fundamentally exploitative and oppressive, that our current ways of organizing politically and socially are made possible and sustained by and through the exploitation, suffering, and oppression of most for the benefit of a few, then what is needed is the transformation of our world and our way of living in it into something else. Reforms are only useful as a temporary measure until we can build something new and radically different (and hopefully better).

Now, how we get there is a different story.

 

[midwestyankee]

Interesting question.

My feminism is about social justice and equality, for everyone.

As such, the kind of liberal, white middle-class privileged 'feminism' that Hillary Clinton apparently stand for as nothing to do with what I consider social justice and equality.

So, to answer your question, her contribution to the feminism I believe in is close to none.

In my opinioin, social justice and equality is not something that will be achieved by putting more women in official position of power, or by merely changing the laws, or by affirmative actions alone. All those can contribute to the desired goal (or not), but what is needed as I understand it is a radical transformation of our systems of believes and structures of power.

The current status quo won't be challenged from the top, through the actions of those who benefit the most from it. Hillary Clinton and the likes has nothing to gain from challenging the status quo, and everything to lose from such a transformation.

So, to summarize, I don't believe that meaningful, significant change toward a more equal, just society is going to be achieved by working within the system. Reforms are merely that: reforms. Reforms can only do so much toward equality and justice, as they start from an acceptance of the general structure in place, and only seeks to make it better, ie less unequal and oppressive. If you start from the assumption (like I do) that the current structures in place are fundamentally exploitative and oppressive, that our current ways of organizing politically and socially are made possible and sustained by and through the exploitation, suffering, and oppression of most for the benefit of a few, then what is needed is the transformation of our world and our way of living in it into something else. Reforms are only useful as a temporary measure until we can build something new and radically different (and hopefully better).

Now, how we get there is a different story.

What do you think the "new and radically different" world will look like? If we can't expect to generate enough radical change through politics, what sort of bottom-up revolution in thoughts and mores do you see happening - or would you like to see?

 

[DeservingBitch]

What do you think the "new and radically different" world will look like? If we can't expect to generate enough radical change through politics, what sort of bottom-up revolution in thoughts and mores do you see happening - or would you like to see?

I didn't say that change shouldn't come from politics. I just don't think that 'politics' is the mere domain of formal elected officials and power holders.

What would a 'new and radically different' world would look like? I have no frickin clue! Hopefully something better. But there's no way to tell.

If change is to come from the bottom-up, from the actions of people conversing, debating, and organizing together for common goals, there's no way to tell where it's going to go. It would also defy the purpose and be inconsistent for me (or anyone) to come up with a blue-print for action. If you believe that change toward social justice and equality HAS to come up from the bottom-up, from a radical democratic discussion and organizing of the people, you can't then turn around and say: "here's what you need to do people".

Historically, all significant and transformative change for something better and more just have been accomplished not from the top-down, or with the 'guidance' of some grand-theory of change: the anti-slavery fight, the decolonization process, the fight for women's right and the civil right movement in the West were all started from the anger and desire for something else from those who were victims of the systems. And while they all at some point transformed into some formalized, legalized watered-down version, at least in their wake and when they were actually productive of significant change, they were the result of the actions of a people coming together and deciding together to fight for a betterment of their lives and that of others.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

My favorites, in no necessary order:

Self-inflicted wax play (am I the only Top who prefer this option to a bubble bath?)
Clothespins and nipple clamps are another easily available and easily inflicted on yourself tool for pain if you're into it.

Also works well on my endorphin level:

Shopping for shoes
Tasty bad for you food (the worst for you the better)
Jerking off

I really need to try the shoe thing. I don't know from shoes, but they seem to work for so many people. I'll try anything at this point.

And hot wax isn't one I'd thought of. Excellent idea, and thank you.

I'm off to adjust.
Excellent idea, this thread.

bj

 

[DeservingBitch]

I really need to try the shoe thing. I don't know from shoes, but they seem to work for so many people. I'll try anything at this point.

And hot wax isn't one I'd thought of. Excellent idea, and thank you.

I'm off to adjust.
Excellent idea, this thread.

bj

Buying new shoes is one of my favorite ways to orgasm.

Glad I could help.

 

[YourCaptor]

Historically, all significant and transformative change for something better and more just have been accomplished not from the top-down, or with the 'guidance' of some grand-theory of change: the anti-slavery fight, the decolonization process, the fight for women's right and the civil right movement in the West were all started from the anger and desire for something else from those who were victims of the systems. And while they all at some point transformed into some formalized, legalized watered-down version, at least in their wake and when they were actually productive of significant change, they were the result of the actions of a people coming together and deciding together to fight for a betterment of their lives and that of others.

Really, I always thought war causing society to be totally flipped and redistributed was the main cause for change.

Can you elaborate please.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Really, I always thought war causing society to be totally flipped and redistributed was the main cause for change.

Can you elaborate please.

I think something is getting lost in the translation. Or I just don't get your question.

What do you mean by 'totally flipped'? And why are you talking about 'war'?

And by 'redistributed', do you mean 'redistribution was the main cause for change'? If so, yes, equal redistribution of resources and benefits is definitely part of the needed changes. One of the mains. But it's not all.

Is that what you want me to elaborate on?

And why aren't we not talking more about sex here?

 

[YourCaptor]

And why aren't we not talking more about sex here?

-Scratches head- good question, how about we talk female equality then, that resulted in lots of new kinds of sexy.

I think something is getting lost in the translation. Or I just don't get your question.

What do you mean by 'totally flipped'? And why are you talking about 'war'?

And by 'redistributed', do you mean 'redistribution was the main cause for change'? If so, yes, equal redistribution of resources and benefits is definitely part of the needed changes. One of the mains. But it's not all.

Is that what you want me to elaborate on?

For example, America during world war 2. All the men are out fighting, at home more jobs exist then ever, jobs that need filling or you lose the war. Women go to work, war totally rearranged American society.

And then you get fem fatal, and porn stars, and valley girls, etc...

 

[Shankara20]

Self-inflicted wax play (am I the only Top who prefer this option to a bubble bath?)

No

 

[Shankara20]

And hot wax isn't one I'd thought of. Excellent idea, and thank you.

shall I send you up my hot-wax-self-play-kit?

 

[EmpressFi]

shall I send you up my hot-wax-self-play-kit?

ooooo please oh please oh please oh please

 

[YourCaptor]

Ok I got one.

Head line yesterday said, "county prepares for gay marriage"

Any thoughts? Want to come visit some time?

 

[midwestyankee]

I didn't say that change shouldn't come from politics. I just don't think that 'politics' is the mere domain of formal elected officials and power holders.

What would a 'new and radically different' world would look like? I have no frickin clue! Hopefully something better. But there's no way to tell.

If change is to come from the bottom-up, from the actions of people conversing, debating, and organizing together for common goals, there's no way to tell where it's going to go. It would also defy the purpose and be inconsistent for me (or anyone) to come up with a blue-print for action. If you believe that change toward social justice and equality HAS to come up from the bottom-up, from a radical democratic discussion and organizing of the people, you can't then turn around and say: "here's what you need to do people".

Historically, all significant and transformative change for something better and more just have been accomplished not from the top-down, or with the 'guidance' of some grand-theory of change: the anti-slavery fight, the decolonization process, the fight for women's right and the civil right movement in the West were all started from the anger and desire for something else from those who were victims of the systems. And while they all at some point transformed into some formalized, legalized watered-down version, at least in their wake and when they were actually productive of significant change, they were the result of the actions of a people coming together and deciding together to fight for a betterment of their lives and that of others.

This post reminds me that you've studied this and related questions with some real intellectual seriousness. I'm glad you took my question seriously.

It's so tempting to project one's own desires onto the consequences of mass action but it takes mature restraint to get a mass movement under way and let it go where it will go. Because, of course, mass movements develop their own momentum and whatever internal guidance exists within the movement may well take the movement to unanticipated places.

Since you asked elsewhere about sexual topics, I'll put one on the table: if your view of the male ego has changed in any way over the last few months, how has it changed and what experiences brought you to this changed take on the male ego?

 

[KinkyBoyUK]

tomorrow is supposed to be an extremely wet day here in the uk. i walk to work and am likely to get soaked. what is the best way to handle an umbrella without it constantly blowing inside out and ending up with me looking like a fool?