The art of the subtle rhyme

[KillerMuffin]

I don't like most rhyming poetry cause it just usually reads like doggerel or like someone was trying to hard to be a "real" poet. The problem with rhyme is that it's just such an obvious device. Particularly if you've got the singongish iambic pentameter with six to eight feet. Some poems can use this device, most of them just don't work with it.

I sort of think of rhyme as one of those poetic milestones that separates the men from the boys, as it were. When a poet can use this device well it just bring a haunting shiver to the spine and sucks you into the depths of the poem.

Humans are ritualistic and love patterns. We're comforted by them and eased by them. When a poem rhymes and has meter, it has a ritualistic pattern it's easy to get into, providing that the rhyme is done well.


I like a good subtle rhyme, one that never draws attention to itself. I especially like it with thought out meter that's not too repetitious.

I had a poem that I liked that was the perfect example, but I completely forgot what it was.

 

[MyOpinion]

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[karmadog]

Iambic pentameter with 'six to eight feet' is already breaking with pattern. Shakespeare wasn't even a slave to the form.

Rhyme, in modern poetry, is much the same. Isn't flexiblilty in rhyme known as 'slant' rhyme? Where the rhyme is more implied than actual?

I've found in the poetry that I've read, I like the less rigid forms of poetry. Not free verse, they have form, but the poet skillfully (this is, of course, the key) mutes his rhyme and meter while still giving the poem a form. Difficult to describe, but far more difficult to do. Most poets (like me) just sound lazy.

 

[MyOpinion]

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[WickedEve]

At one time I wrote only rhyme, then I completely shunned rhyme. I now have found a happy medium. I like to slip a rhyme in here and there.

Not sure if this is the best example but here's the first part of Into the Mountains:
The path twines over yonder
'round those trees;
it weaves around
and between them.

Step lightly,
step quickly
upon that serpent's dirt back.

That old snake trail
has wicked winding tail
that'll rattle bones
and bite your soles.

I think it's more exciting to read a poem that is free form, with the occasional rhyme. It gives the rhyme more impact and it's more of a delight when it pops up from time to time.

 

[OT]

The problem with rhyme

I think we can agree that bad writing is bad writing, be it rhymed or not. I'd also like to offer up that we can skirt around the "what is poetry" question by talking about what makes a piece worth reading; Writing is either interesting or not.

Even when rhymed words fit perfectly and exactly, they suffer from being predictable (making the piece less interesting) Given the last word in a line, there are a finite number of choices for the last word in the rhymed line. With the help of context, the odds of knowing the exact word increase dramatically.

The art of good rhyme then becomes either to use less familiar words, or make the writing interesting/clever enough that we don't mind the lack of surprise.

The comfort we derive from good meter and rhyme, easily turns to something that grates on the ear and is boring.

One last point that often works against rhymed pieces is that the author simply chose the wrong format for the message. Anyone who has done any amount of writing has at one time or another "written themselves into a corner". The only solution is to back up, reword a bit, and the "problem" goes away.

Once you decide on a rhymed piece, half of the corner has been painted for you. No matter how good you are, it may be simply the wrong form for the particular message you are attempting to convey.

I write quite a bit of rhyme, but mostly I stick to shorter lighter pieces that hopefully fall into the amusing/clever/interesting category. Short and light more readily lend themselves to rhyme.

This is not just a trick to get you to read my stuff, but I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on "Ugly Inside", where I attempted rhyme without humor, and "Ocean of Snow" where I tried embedding rhymes without structure. In both cases, whether you liked them or not, think about whether rhyme was a positive, negative or neutral factor in your opinion of the writing.

Maybe the real question is: Can you separate rhyme from a work, (e.g hate it but love the rhyme) or is the form all muddled up in the content; The poem is either good or bad, and assigning a portion of blame/credit to the rhyme is not appropriate?

Ugly Inside

Ocean of Snow

 

[MyOpinion]

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[MyOpinion]

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[KillerMuffin]

Actually, I haven't, Opi. I was thinking of a Frost poem when I wrote the original post.

Trust me to flub, kd. Iambic sextameter to Iambic octameter would be correct.

 

[MyOpinion]

The Garden of Love
by William Blake

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen:
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And "Thou shalt not" writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore,

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tomb-stones where flowers should be;
And Priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.

 

[daughter]

Rap

Rappers are masters at rhyme. Some write lyrics with meaning. I don't like rap, but I do admire the skill it takes to pull it off well.

I didn't see any mention of near rhymes. Rhyme gives a read rhythm but rhyme isn't the only way to achieve that. The key is the attention to sound, a skill too many fail to master.

If a poet is going to rhyme my suggestion is that the pattern fits the tone of the read, that the rhyme makes sense as well as sound, and if the poet uses more interesting patterns than aa bb, I'm more inclined to read it.

Peace,

d

 

[Guest]

My favorite..and it rhymes