The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Shygentleman2]

Online relationships are just like real world relationships - they can be fun, scary, messy.... that's what makes them so desirable. And like most things - quality over quantity... but never miss an opportunity to create a new one.

Truer words couldn't be spoken. Us humans are messy...and wonderful all at the same time. When those connections are made the euphoria is wonderful. And for me...it's all about the quality. I don't want a harem...or be part of one. And in my own failings I need to be better about reaching out to individuals I find fascinating. Who knows what could come of it? The worst that happens is i got to meet someone new.

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

Truer words couldn't be spoken. Us humans are messy...and wonderful all at the same time. When those connections are made the euphoria is wonderful. And for me...it's all about the quality. I don't want a harem...or be part of one. And in my own failings I need to be better about reaching out to individuals I find fascinating. Who knows what could come of it? The worst that happens is i got to meet someone new.

Perfectly said!

 

[Shygentleman2]

Perfectly said!

Now I just need to follow my own advice!

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

Now I just need to follow my own advice!

It's difficult, sometimes, to take our own advice.... Almost as if we don't deserve it.

 

[jacfox]

Almost as if we don't deserve it.

I think that's a very telling observation. Maybe a lot of relationships struggle because of problems with self-image and esteem, perhaps more than dissatisfaction with the other

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

I think that's a very telling observation. Maybe a lot of relationships struggle because of problems with self-image and esteem, perhaps more than dissatisfaction with the other

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

 

[jacfox]

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

Too true! I hope you weren't treated that way, but I guess most of us have some rough patches somewhere along the way

 

[Shygentleman2]

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

For me it was really challenging in my early 20s with relationships. I was pretty clueless when it came to women. When I did find someone I thought was wonderful it turned out the exact opposite. Spent 3 years in what I now consider a toxic relationship where I could do no right and I tolerated her manipulation of me and my feelings. I finally woke up and realized that her treatment of me wasn't acceptable. Took me a long time before I even noticed another female because I was never going back to something like that. A few decades removed I've learned a lot. I figure I learned one good lesson from those years. How people deserved to be treated.

 

[IARainman]

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

So sorry. I was an outcast but not badly bullied

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Stop trying so hard to get Lit laid. Full disclosure I am probably not poster boy for online boning.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I think that's a very telling observation. Maybe a lot of relationships struggle because of problems with self-image and esteem, perhaps more than dissatisfaction with the other

Very good insights!

As they say opposites attract, I think since we admire qualities that we think we are lacking in we gravitate to those who do display those qualities as we wish to learn from them how to become better at those qualities we admire in others.

But being opposites does not tend to foster into a smoothly functioning long term relationship.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

Everyone, I do believe, has some emotional baggage we carry around with us and we just need to find someone who is willing and able to lighten the load for us.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

For me it was really challenging in my early 20s with relationships. I was pretty clueless when it came to women. When I did find someone I thought was wonderful it turned out the exact opposite. Spent 3 years in what I now consider a toxic relationship where I could do no right and I tolerated her manipulation of me and my feelings. I finally woke up and realized that her treatment of me wasn't acceptable. Took me a long time before I even noticed another female because I was never going back to something like that. A few decades removed I've learned a lot. I figure I learned one good lesson from those years. How people deserved to be treated.

You learned the right lesson I believe!

We all want to be loved and cared about and sometimes that desire can lead us to harming ourself by doing things we wouldn't normally do. So easy to see in retrospect but very difficult if not impossible to do so in real time.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Some more middle of the night musings....


It can be golden
It can be cruel
It can help embolden
It may give us fuel

This word with so many meanings
Can easily mislead
It can pause breathing
Make you plead

Songs have been written
Sung with power and grace
Can make you smitten
Help you save face

How can it do all these things?
It can end violence
With all it brings
The word is silence

Let it be known
You are not alone

 

[Shygentleman2]

You learned the right lesson I believe!

We all want to be loved and cared about and sometimes that desire can lead us to harming ourself by doing things we wouldn't normally do. So easy to see in retrospect but very difficult if not impossible to do so in real time.

This is so true. From my friends perspective they never understood why I was with her. It was impossible for me to see it from their point of view!

 

[Hornymwtxn]

These melancholy feelings
When will they be over?
A needed process for healing
Aching for a former lover

These emotions so strong
Still
Not knowing where I belong
There is a way and a will

Maybe it was meant to be
The way it had to end
You and me
Babe setting a trend

Habits form
Good and bad
This emotional storm
A little happy a little sad

I can cease trying
But I can't cease caring

 

[Shygentleman2]

Never cease caring @Hornymwtxn . This is what sets us apart. Makes you special.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Never cease caring @Hornymwtxn . This is what sets us apart. Makes you special.

Thank you for the kind words!

So as not to alarm anyone, I am fine, I am planning on doing a no Lit December.

I will read and respond to my PMs but not be active on the boards.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Thank you for the kind words!

So as not to alarm anyone, I am fine, I am planning on doing a no Lit December.

I will read and respond to my PMs but not be active on the boards.

If we don't see you kind sir have a very blessed Christmas!

 

[Hornymwtxn]

If we don't see you kind sir have a very blessed Christmas!

Thank you!

I hope you and everyone else gets to enjoy the holidays with family and friends.

 

[jacfox]

Talking of getting near the festive season, maybe now's the time to think of sending the gift of a truly appreciatve PM to some of the wonderful ladies who grace our pages here on lit. Don't be hesitant or fear rejection. It's the season for giving, whether we get back in return or not!

 

[Vitriolhack]

Goodbye for now, Lit family

This hurts more than I can say.
Lit has been my refuge - a place where I could breathe, laugh, and forget how heavy life can be. But somewhere along the way, even that light started to blur.

Right now, everything feels too much - work, home, expectations, even my own thoughts. And when something that once gave you peace starts to add to the noise, maybe it’s time to let go - even if your heart doesn’t want to.

To everyone who made me smile here, thank you. You’ll never know how much you helped me through my quiet battles. You reminded me that kindness still exists in the strangest corners of the internet.

But I need to step back - to find my center again. Maybe one day, when the storm in my chest calms down, I’ll return.

Until then - be kind to one another. Keep the laughter alive.
And if you think of me, just know I’m grateful. Always.

- Carmina

Feel better soon.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Its easy to say that what other think about us don't matter, but a lot of us grew up being bullied, uncaring or critical parents, abuse of some kind... It really messes us up

Indeed it does, early wounds cut the deepest.

 

[elizaloo]

Good grief..ghosted again by a guy who seemed totally genuine for SIX MONTHS - a lifetime in Lit chats.

When you and that person are so close, you talk on the PHONE multiple times a week, talk incessantly about when we can get together, when you know all about my life, and I, yours and my freaking FB suggests you as a friend...um, that's pretty close for Lit standards.

And then....POOF - gone. Done, I guess. My messages left unanswered for weeks, I'm too sad to attempt a phone call and have it go straight to voice mail.

I hope you have the life you deserve

 

[elizaloo]

Goodbye for now, Lit family

This hurts more than I can say.
Lit has been my refuge - a place where I could breathe, laugh, and forget how heavy life can be. But somewhere along the way, even that light started to blur.

Right now, everything feels too much - work, home, expectations, even my own thoughts. And when something that once gave you peace starts to add to the noise, maybe it’s time to let go - even if your heart doesn’t want to.

To everyone who made me smile here, thank you. You’ll never know how much you helped me through my quiet battles. You reminded me that kindness still exists in the strangest corners of the internet.

But I need to step back - to find my center again. Maybe one day, when the storm in my chest calms down, I’ll return.

Until then - be kind to one another. Keep the laughter alive.
And if you think of me, just know I’m grateful. Always.

- Carmina

I understand this completely - I've left Lit a number of times over life events and come back. Writing brings me back, and the good people here.

Sometimes I find myself looking in the Forums...and start up conversations...some entertaining and fun, some lousy.

Hopefully your stormy waters calm and you find your way back here - there really are genuinely caring folks here and I've met plenty.