The aloofness of guys

[topace]

I try to be considerate of the women I am with, but I think a lot of women are looking for a man who will just take what they want without the weakness of having to ask first. It makes for a great deal of uncertainty in my mind as to how much 'taking' is correct. When you really like a woman, you don'r want to say or do something that might damage her feelings for you.

If you were the man that they really want you to be, you most likely would be in jail because one of you other relationships didn't like it as much as you had hoped and had called the law.

Communication - it's a two way street.

 

[WittePiet]

I think the problem is that for a man to get off with a woman, he needs an understanding of female needs and desires. If he wants to get off with a man, he already knows what a man's needs and desires are, and if he doesn't he can ask. Women don't like to be asked what they want, men are expected to know.

 

[sr71plt]

I think the problem is that for a man to get off with a woman, he needs an understanding of female needs and desires. If he wants to get off with a man, he already knows what a man's needs and desires are, and if he doesn't he can ask. Women don't like to asked what they want. Men are expected to know.

I think we have two different understandings of "get off." I think a man is capable of getting off with a wash cloth, no understanding of anything required. Likewise with a woman and a tube sock.

 

[TheTemptresss]

Interesting discussion.

I think the points I picked as pertinent were these .....

A lot of people don't know what they want themselves so they find it hard to answer.

You need to say what you want. If they want something, let them ask for it.

Men and women are all different to each other.

I've only recently learned that something that I love I almost only ever get if I initiate. In fact, I usually initiate most things and that is what annoys me.

 

[avidreader9445]

Not sure

I don't know if cwaltz is still listening, or not, but I wanted to add a little comment. I think most men, when offered something they really want and then enjoy it, rarely have to be asked again. It could be that he is a little concerned about meeting your expectations or intimidated by your sexuality. Women seem to be much more open about their sexual needs than when I was "a-courtin'" and he may be a little old-fashioned? That being said, he needs to let you know how he is feeling. Best of luck getting your needs met.

 

[TE999]

Interesting thread. The subject matter reminds me of a joke:

A man is walking along a beach one sunny day and sees a bottle half buried in the sand. He picks it up, brushes the sand from it, sees it's sealed with a cork, removes it and out pops a Genii.

"Thank you for opening the bottle," he says. "I've been trapped in there for 600 years and now I'm free. I will grant any wish you care to make."

The man thinks for a minute and says "Y'know, I've always wanted to visit Europe, but I'm afraid to ride in planes or ships. I'd like a bridge to Europe so I can drive there."

"Gee, I dunno," the Genii replies, "I mean that's a long way; the engineering alone would be next to impossible. Would you want something else instead?"

The man thinks some more and says "Yes, tell me what women really want."

"You want that bridge four or six lanes?"

 

[Boxlicker101]

When I saw this thread, I wasn't wearing my glasses and thought it said "The Aloofness of Gays." I thought it was silly, because gay men are not very aloof, although some lesbians are toward men. Then when I saw it was about guys, I thought it was even sillier. Men are about as aloof toward women as a moth is to a candle.

 

[TheTemptresss]

I'm pretty sure aloofness is the wrong word for it. Suggestions on a postcard ...

 

[sr71plt]

Something more like "insularity"?

 

[TheTemptresss]

Martians? As in Men are from Mars? LOL

Seriously, I think we knew what cwaltz meant, but it's all semantics really.

 

[sr71plt]

I think cwaltz meant the usual: "I took the guy because I knew I could reupholster him, but I found I was wrong, so he needs to fix that."

 

[TheTemptresss]

I think cwaltz meant the usual: "I took the guy because I knew I could reupholster him, but I found I was wrong, so he needs to fix that."

Yeah, could be.

I think the saying to accompany this thread should be

If you cannot offer perfection, do not expect it.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Maybe the title of the thread should be: The Surprising Simplicity and Amazing Availability of Guys.