The AH Classified Ads

[Honey123]

Wanted: one night (pref. eight hours) sound sleep. Payment negotiable, may include horsey rides, large sums of cash, poss. immortal soul.

Wish I could help, but you wouldn't sleep if you were with me....

 

[Honey123]

Wanted: A sense of purpose.

Mine has wandered off somewhere, don't think it's coming back.

Pay negotiable, if I can work up the energy to care.

Oh, you have a purpose, RG...you are here for us. You make us happy, you make us feel good...

 

[Honey123]

Free to good home, will pay any pick-up expenses: one over-indulged six-year-old (dad, not me). Comes complete with bad attitude and smart mouth. But wait! There's more! Will also include room full of toys, playstation 2, trampoline and slip-n-slide.

Do any of the playstation games come along with it?

 

[TxRad]

Free to good home: Extended family of rednecks, prone to dropping by unannounced. Bonus: they are entertaining, can fix things and usually bring their own food.

Sorry, i already have a shit pot full of those myself.......

Luckily they all live in other states and have no reason to come this way.... and i try not to ever give them one....

 

[rgraham666]

Oh, you have a purpose, RG...you are here for us. You make us happy, you make us feel good...

Thank you, Honey.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Sorry, i already have a shit pot full of those myself.......

Luckily they all live in other states and have no reason to come this way.... and i try not to ever give them one....

I thought moving would solve it, then they just moved closer to me. I'm thinking about getting them cable and air conditioning of their own!

 

[Aurora Black]

Wanted: A kind soul to host me for a day or two upon my immediate return to the States. East coast/Midwest regions only, please.

 

[rgraham666]

Wanted: A kind soul to host me for a day or two upon my immediate return to the States. East coast/Midwest regions only, please.

Damn. I'm in Canada.

 

[TxRad]

Wanted: A kind soul to host me for a day or two upon my immediate return to the States. East coast/Midwest regions only, please.

I guess Texas is a little to far out to be considered......

Just my luck....

 

[Aurora Black]

Crap, I forgot to correct this: The trip has been put on hold. For now.

 

[TxRad]

Crap, I forgot to correct this: The trip has been put on hold. For now.

Good.... that will give me and Rob time to move to the eastern midwest or somewhere there abouts....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Free to good home: Plot bunny. Well-fed, versatile, never used.

 

[Belegon]

Free to good home: Plot bunny. Well-fed, versatile, never used.

Will trade for four hopelessly stalled WIP...

 

[TxRad]

Will trade for four hopelessly stalled WIP...

I see your four and raise you about 25.....

Although what I'd do with another plot bunny is beyond me... i have a corral fulll of them now.... Yes they are in the carral... Plot bunnies are big in texas....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Will trade for four hopelessly stalled WIP...

I'd do the deal if I didn't already have one of those myself. I feel like I'm being unfaithful when I neglect it for the lark of the moment.

Plot bunnies are big in texas....

Everything is big in Texas.

 

[oggbashan]

For Sale:

1902/3 Edwardian Semi-detached house in Kent coastal town. Five bedrooms, smallest is twelve feet square, four living rooms (smallest fifteen by twelve feet), two bathrooms, newly refitted kitchen fifteen by twelve feet, utility room, conservatory, gardens front and rear, garage and off-road parking for four more cars, on main road close to bus stops, ten minutes walk to station (frequent trains to London), main shopping street or sea. Upstairs and downstairs gas central heating systems. Still has many original features i.e nine fireplaces, ornate ceilings and hall floor. Needs some minor tidying. 350,000 pounds.

Og