The AH Classified Ads

[SummerMorning]

Available: One personalized caricature style portrait - will make you look dreadful or your money back.

Cost: free!

 

[matriarch]

An arm and a leg.


How is the dieting Mat tonight?

Ken

I don't know about the dieting Mat (do I know her?), but this one is fine.

Exhausted, overheated, but fine.

Thank you.

 

[RogueLurker]

Lost - One Temper.

If found, please hug it into submission. Large reward offered if returned in better condition then when it left.

 

[matriarch]

Lost - One Temper.

If found, please hug it into submission. Large reward offered if returned in better condition then when it left.

Hey, I lost mine too.
Do reckon there's a haven out there for the lost tempers of the world, where they all go to bitch about their owners??

 

[RogueLurker]

Hey, I lost mine too.
Do reckon there's a haven out there for the lost tempers of the world, where they all go to bitch about their owners??

Yeah, Internet Discussion Boards ... perhaps not this one, but some of them are seething breeding grounds for misplaced tempers.



oh no ....

Found: A foreboding sense of paranoia ... worry about what my temper is telling Mat's temper.

 

[Aurora Black]

Wanted: Peace of mind and chocolate, lots of chocolate.

 

[Liar]

Have: Talent, education, shamelessness and ambition.

Am looking for: Organizational skills. Any at all. Pretty please.

 

[RogueLurker]

Wanted: Peace of mind and chocolate, lots of chocolate.

Hmmm, don't know about peace of mind (with the mood I'm in, a piece of my mind would be more likely) but I think I've still got my Easter chocolate around here somwhere ... how about a Godiva milk chocolate bunny?

 

[Aurora Black]

Hmmm, don't know about peace of mind (with the mood I'm in, a piece of my mind would be more likely) but I think I've still got my Easter chocolate around here somwhere ... how about a Godiva milk chocolate bunny?

Is it still good?

 

[RogueLurker]

Is it still good?

I have no idea.

*You* try it ...

 

[Aurora Black]

I have no idea.

*You* try it ...

Nah, that's okay. I'm not that desperate.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Wanted: One very cheap man ho, preferably speaking little or no English. Must understand the operation of a common dishwasher.

 

[Samandiriel]

Wanted: court jester to perform for my amusement. Must be able to juggle. References preferred.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Wanted: court jester to perform for my amusement. Must be able to juggle. References preferred.

Where do I apply for the job?

I drop things when I juggle, so if you give me something breakable it would be doubly amusing.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Wanted: one night (pref. eight hours) sound sleep. Payment negotiable, may include horsey rides, large sums of cash, poss. immortal soul.

 

[FallingToFly]

Wanted: one night (pref. eight hours) sound sleep. Payment negotiable, may include horsey rides, large sums of cash, poss. immortal soul.

I can give you that. Oddly enough- everyone sleeps like babies in my house- except me.

 

[cloudy]

Wanted: one night (pref. eight hours) sound sleep. Payment negotiable, may include horsey rides, large sums of cash, poss. immortal soul.

*passes bottle of benedryl*

I'll take my payment in horsey rides, thanks.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*passes bottle of benedryl*

I'll take my payment in horsey rides, thanks.

Ahhh, alas; you don't get paid that easily - more's the pity, as that's one payment I would rather enjoy. I've tried varying doses of Benadryl the past two nights; if anything, I think it's made it worse. At least, it seems closely tied to the nightmares. I might have to try Flying's magical house.

 

[cloudy]

Ahhh, alas; you don't get paid that easily - more's the pity, as that's one payment I would rather enjoy. I've tried varying doses of Benadryl the past two nights; if anything, I think it's made it worse. At least, it seems closely tied to the nightmares. I might have to try Flying's magical house.

but see....as hard as I ride my horses, you'd sleep.

 

[BlackShanglan]

but see....as hard as I ride my horses, you'd sleep.

Now there is a remedy with definite appeal.

 

[Guest]

Now there is a remedy with definite appeal.

Heehee, Cloudy's getting the saddle out now.

My favorite nightcap is a large glass of milk, a good shot of Cask & Cream (which now comes in a CHOCOLATE variety), and a shot of Van Gogh's Chocolate Vodka. If desparate, a few chapters of Judges of Deuteronomy often turn the trick.

If that doesn't work, a double shot of agave (not tequila, the real stuff) pretty much tips me over. The dreams, however, are intense.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Spell Checker FREE to good home. Like new. Never used.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Free to good home: Extended family of rednecks, prone to dropping by unannounced. Bonus: they are entertaining, can fix things and usually bring their own food.

 

[cloudy]

Free to good home, will pay any pick-up expenses: one over-indulged six-year-old (dad, not me). Comes complete with bad attitude and smart mouth. But wait! There's more! Will also include room full of toys, playstation 2, trampoline and slip-n-slide.

 

[rgraham666]

Wanted: A sense of purpose.

Mine has wandered off somewhere, don't think it's coming back.

Pay negotiable, if I can work up the energy to care.