The AH Classified Ads

[OhMissScarlett]

Do you want or need something? Have something you desperately need to get rid of? Post 'em here. I'll start.

For free or trade: One SO and one five year-old. In working order, but not the self-cleaning variety. You pick up. Will trade for glock 9mm pistol or fifth of rum. Serious inquiries only.

 

[Guest]

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Available: one scaredy-cat dog, 75 pounds and extremely fuzzy. Looks like an animated teddy bear, but will try to climb inside your socks at the first hint of rain. Buyer pays shipping. Cost: one Godiva chocolate truffle OBO.

Hey, that sounds like a pretty good deal actually. Too bad it storms here every five minutes.

 

[Guest]

 

[minsue]

Free - House full of furniture. Must come pick up and take bag or box full of garbage with you as payment for each piece.

 

[impressive]

Free: One bad attitude. No conditions. No strings.

 

[Aurora Black]

Free: A general feeling of not being loved. Do with it what you will.

 

[Honey123]

Lost: Mind
~ willing to do anything to get it back. It was pretty good and fit just perfectly. Sometimes it put me in a place that made me happy ~ erotic thoughts abound in that mind and must be handled with care ...If found, please return

 

[joeys-game]

Lost: Mind
~ willing to do anything to get it back. It was pretty good and fit just perfectly. Sometimes it put me in a place that made me happy ~ erotic thoughts abound in that mind and must be handled with care ...If found, please return

(((((Honey)))))..how are you?

 

[Honey123]

(((((Honey)))))..how are you?

*RUNNINGTACKLINGHUGGING*

JOEY!!!!!!!!!!

I'm ok...how are you???? I've been reading your posts (no, not stalking you--) you seem so HAPPY!!!!!!! {{Hugs}}

 

[joeys-game]

*RUNNINGTACKLINGHUGGING*

JOEY!!!!!!!!!!

I'm ok...how are you???? I've been reading your posts (no, not stalking you--) you seem so HAPPY!!!!!!! {{Hugs}}

*picking you up and swinging you around*

I'm doing pretty good..i am fairly happy!!!

You have been keeping busy as usual?

 

[Honey123]

*picking you up and swinging you around*

I'm doing pretty good..i am fairly happy!!!

You have been keeping busy as usual?

Kinda...I quit my job, but now am going back just for a few weeks to help out while a friend/co-worker is recovering from surgery...so, yeah I'll be busy again.

What about you?

 

[joeys-game]

Kinda...I quit my job, but now am going back just for a few weeks to help out while a friend/co-worker is recovering from surgery...so, yeah I'll be busy again.

What about you?

Fairly busy yeah..but its summertime and the boys are home so even more busy..and hotter than hell

 

[672]

For Sale: Assorted family members and friends.

A large batchload of them. Cheap.

Family members: Will occassionally piss on your parade, eat your food, steal your money, talk shit about you, steal your household items to sell for drugs, physically or emotionally abuse you. Otherwise, in good condition.

Friends:

Ftf - In good order. Very neat, very responsible. Only flaw; is a self-writing unit that doesn't write.

Best friend - Will sleep with your other friends, lie to you, psychoanalyze you, sexually harass you, and emotional massacre you. But cleans up after himself, does dishes and is very handy with tools.

Sister - a fixer-upper.

If these don't bring in enough, I'm up for sale, also. Good, sturdy outer shell, but all broken to bits on the inside. Another fixer-upper.

Wanted: A sense of self-control. Pills. Two bottles of bourbon. Pretty pictures of naked people. Corsets. Stockings. Drugs. A few years. Ability to play well with others.

I, too, am will to trade.

Please place your queries on these items in person. Thank you.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Family members: Will occassionally piss on your parade, eat your food, steal your money, talk shit about you, steal your household items to sell for drugs, physically or emotionally abuse you. Otherwise, in good condition.

Dammit, I've already got a load of these. They need a drop box!

 

[sophia jane]

Wanted: 3 bedroom house in specific Milwaukee area.

For sale: various children's toys, some of which are actually still fully intact.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Free to good home: One larger than usual mouse, grey in color. Too cute to murder, too annoying to live with. Would make great toy for cat or food for snake.

 

[oggbashan]

Free: A general feeling of not being loved. Do with it what you will.

I'll take that in exchange for as many virtual hugs as you want.

Og

 

[FallingToFly]

Free to good home: One very pissy muse. Very large, breathes fire, eats the occasional maiden (or annoying knight). Must be handled with kid gloves and a large stick.

Free to Good Home: Large mixed breed dog, red, very sweet and loving, excellent companion for children or other dogs. Needs large fenced yard and comfortable patch of floor to gaze adoringly at you from.

For Sale: 8 year old Egyptian Arabian gelding, 14.2, clear bay, white star, two rear socks. Started in dressage, excellent lesson horse. Can be registered (I personally can't afford to) with the AHA. Immense talent and enormously loving heart. Shots and worming UTD. Negative Coggins. Buyer must come pick up. $3,000. PM if interested.

For Sale: 3BR/1BA home on 1/4 acre in historic Monticello Fl. Close to everything, last house on a very small cul-de-sac. Mature fruit trees, storage building- easy to add on to. New AC and hardwood floors. Asking $110,000. Again, PM.

Lost: 25 year old sense of direction, moral compass, verbal filter and practicality. If seen, please deposit in nearest trash can- I no longer need it.

 

[672]

Lost: 25 year old sense of direction, moral compass, verbal filter and practicality. If seen, please deposit in nearest trash can- I no longer need it.

Oh. So that's what that was mixed in with my clothings when I was unpacking last year.

~ploptrash~

 

[cloudy]

Free: one finely tuned, but overused sense of guilt. Would make an excellent baby shower gift or wedding present.

 

[Aurora Black]

I'll take that in exchange for as many virtual hugs as you want.

Og

Thank you!

 

[matriarch]

Free to needy home: 60lbs of excess, unwanted and unecessary fat.

 

[Aurora Black]

Free to needy home: 60lbs of excess, unwanted and unecessary fat.

*hugs*

 

[kendo1]

Free to needy home: 60lbs of excess, unwanted and unecessary fat.

An arm and a leg.


How is the dieting Mat tonight?

Ken