that growing apart feeling

[Fly_On_Wall]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

like you and someone close to you just aren't as close as you were before?
if so
what did you do about it?
try to fight it and stay friends?
or just let things drift and be distant frineds?

did things work that way?

Just trying to figure out what to do in my curent problem, anyone know what to do?

 

[Purrde Flower]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

like you and someone close to you just aren't as close as you were before?
if so
what did you do about it?
try to fight it and stay friends?
or just let things drift and be distant frineds?

did things work that way?

Just trying to figure out what to do in my curent problem, anyone know what to do?

Oh yea I have been there. About a year ago my (no longer) best friend and I got together after being apart for a year or so. (due to living in different states) We gave each other hugs and a kiss on the cheek. Talked about old times.. but that feeling of closeness was gone. It was weird and it made me sad. We tried to keep in touch after that but our lives moved in completely different directions. I am getting a divorce and she just got married. There are many other factors as well. We just couldn't get that closeness back.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

but did you alow it to drift? or did you try and fight it?

 

[lobito]

yes fly, much like my realtionship with you, there are other people in my life that "have grown apart from me" for who knows why.

 

[Purrde Flower]

Well I think we did both in a way. We tried to keep up with each other but it was just impossible. I had 3 kids and was working on my 4th. She had lost hers to CPS because her ex harmed her child while she was at work and she didn't know about it because she was at work.

I think it hurt her too much to be around me and mine anymore. Having a reminder of a child that she lost. Our sons were born 2 days apart.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I just don't know what to do.

IT's probably the distance.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

yah like it's that easy.

 

[Silverluna]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

like you and someone close to you just aren't as close as you were before?
if so
what did you do about it?
try to fight it and stay friends?
or just let things drift and be distant frineds?

did things work that way?

Just trying to figure out what to do in my curent problem, anyone know what to do?

sometimes this happens just on its own. or sometimes distance plays a role. it happens. we can try and bridge that gap but sometimes we can't. I hope it works out with you , Fly. It didnt work out with my ex. He didnt even wish to try it...just *poof* you're gone!

 

[bad kitty]

When it is someone I care about deeply I fight tooth and nail.

 

[lobito]

Flyboy, we can tell you all kinds of things, butwe can't tell you what to do.

Maybe it's as simple as just being you. Maybe it's painful like waiting a small amount of time, to see if things get better. (?)

 

[bad kitty]

Flyboy, we can tell you all kinds of things, butwe can't tell you what to do.

Maybe it's as simple as just being you. Maybe it's painful like waiting a small amount of time, to see if things get better. (?)

[hijack]
NICE ASS LOBITO!!!
[/hijack]

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Flyboy, we can tell you all kinds of things, butwe can't tell you what to do.

Maybe it's as simple as just being you. Maybe it's painful like waiting a small amount of time, to see if things get better. (?)

lol I know you can't tell me what to do.

just needed to vent some last night.
couldn't sleep last night eather too much on my mind

 

[Vivacia]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

like you and someone close to you just aren't as close as you were before?
if so
what did you do about it?
try to fight it and stay friends?
or just let things drift and be distant frineds?

did things work that way?

Just trying to figure out what to do in my curent problem, anyone know what to do?

Unfortunately I know it all too well! In my case we fought to stay friends but it kind of drifted on it's own. Sadly we barely speak anymore...

I think that is just the way it goes - sorry I couldn't be more positive.

 

[Guest]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

Yes, been there before.

Have you tried to talk to this person? Tell them that you're feeling the distance grow between you?

If you have and still see things growing apart, you may want to just let things be for a while. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder (if it's a romantic relationship). The other thing to consider is (this is what happened in my case) that if you try too hard to keep things together and it fosters a feeling of resentment on the part of one or both (you may get to feeling this way if you start feeling like you're putting all the work into the relationship) of you, you'll end up hating each other. In that case it's best to leave while you still can think & remember the happy times.

Hope my ramble made some sense.

 

[Velius]

Ever have that growing apart feeling?

like you and someone close to you just aren't as close as you were before?
if so
what did you do about it?
try to fight it and stay friends?
or just let things drift and be distant frineds?

did things work that way?

Just trying to figure out what to do in my curent problem, anyone know what to do?

Has happened with pretty much every friend I have ever had. There is really no way to fight it. *Shrugs* All there is really to do is find new friends.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

If it means that much to you, make some effort to keep the relationship.

My favorite friends are the ones that I don't talk to for months, and then we pick up the phone and we're as close as ever. I have 4 friends like that, and it works for me because I'm really too busy to "keep up" an ongoing constant thing.

My least favorite "friends" are the ones that get all pissy if I don't call them. They keep score - "I called you last, what's wrong, is your dialing finger broken?"

I have a friend that is a contact for something I need from time to time. She never calls me. But she says, "I know the only reason you call is when you want something." I was like, "too bad I don't have something YOU want, then maybe you'd call me!"

Excuse me, if you want to talk, call - if I want to, I will. Simple as that!

 

[Calamity Jane]

Fight for it Fly, if it means enough to you to keep you up at night.

That said, you also have to know when to stop fighting for it, and walk away. Sometimes, people just aren't meant to be in our lives for the long haul.

 

[sexy-girl]

fly all relationships (friendships or more) have ups and downs ... have periods when things are harder to work through ... distance is a factor in that but not the complete reason part of it is that its just normal

the way you find out if a relationship will last is if you can get through the times when things are a bit harder ... i can't give you answers on how to do that because every relationship is different and each "hard time" in that relationship will be different


but good luck with things *hugs*

 

[Spinaroonie]

You don't send me flowers anymore.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

actualy sexygirl advice from you could work
should have talked to you first seeing as you went through the same thing.

me and her are great freinds, the best and things always went well, it's just since I got my job we don't have time for each other anymore.

she gets home from work when I get back to work from lunch, I get off work and she is going to sleep, I go to sleep and she is off to work I wake up when she is getting back to work from lunch.

I hate time zones, 5 hours is a big differance and makes it a little harder to keep that close freindship going.

i've not been able to say more then good Morning to her in 5 months.
how did you and lisa do it? (it's the same distance )

 

[sexy-girl]

fly its really hard and i know exactly how that is ... sometimes lisa would be going to bed as i got up from work ... its why i got into the habit of getting up at 3am at night to meet her ... but that wasn't exactly easy and i know isn't something that is always possible with needing sleep


we tried to make it so our schedules wouldn't be so tough on us i'd go into work earlier and get home earlier and lisa would go in later and work later

but again i know that might not be possible for you two we were lucky we could make our jobs work that way

again all i can say is that lisa and i did go through tough times like that where we couldn't meet very much at all writing emails and sending each other gifts helped but in the end you just have to somehow work through it ... if you two can survive through it things will get better and your relationship will be stronger

 

[Calamity Jane]

Make early morning/late night phone calls. It's why phone cards were invented. Send real letters and pictures. Buy goofy (cheap) postcards, and mail one each day so everyday when she checks her mail she knows you're thinking of her.

When my sister's boyfriend was in Kuwait, they'd make audio tapes and send them to each other.

Distance is a bitch, and if you're going to make it work, you have to work your ass off. But, it can work.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

thanks sexy-girl

well if she were my girlfriend Mabey i'd change my schecual
but she is just a close friend
we talked every day before, and she helped me through some very troubleing times that I'd rather not get into here.
and I helped her make a hard decicion that changed her life.
we are close but not close enough to change too much.


life sucks

 

[sexy-girl]

pagan those are some great suggestions ... we did many of those things too


fly the way to do it is make the distance fun i know that will never truly be the case but there is a huge amount of things you both can do for each other even if you are hardly meeting at the moment


i thought perhaps she was your girlfriend but i got confused when you said england because i didnt think your girlfriend was from there ... but anyway if she is a good friend you can still send her presents or letters

over the net is ok but holding a real letter from someone is something special and it will let her know how important you value her friendship