Thanks alot, Mom

[nasty]

Nuttin, like Mom cheering me up. I told my Mom all about the Charity I donated too, and, what does she basically tell me? "Don't get your hopes up." Gee, thanks ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's almost like she's telling me, "You better live with the fact that you're in that chair, PERMENANTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[perks]

My mom did the same thing for me. I don't understand why they do that. I'm not going to do that. I hope. I'll make a concerted effort.

I think you did a good thing, nasty. I'm glad you donated.

 

[YogiBare]

Sorry to hear that, nasty.

What is protecting oneself against disappointment to one person, is crushing hope to another.

I, for one, would go with the hope.

Like pitcher Tug McGraw said of the 1973 New York Mets,
Ya Gotta BEELIEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Wiggles]

What's up with the mom's lately??

That's not right. Donating to a charity is always a good thing.

 

[nasty]

She was like, "WEll, your legs are contracted, too." Ok, yeah. They are. But, that can be fixed, too. And, she said, "What if insurance doesn't pay for surgery?" If they don't they're thoughtless jackasses that want to see me suffer. GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Mom's usually supportive. Ya think she'd be GLAD if I got out of this wheelchair. It didn't really seem like it, whatsoever.

 

[perks]

She was like, "WEll, your legs are contracted, too." Ok, yeah. They are. But, that can be fixed, too. And, she said, "What if insurance doesn't pay for surgery?" If they don't they're thoughtless jackasses that want to see me suffer. GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Mom's usually supportive. Ya think she'd be GLAD if I got out of this wheelchair. It didn't really seem like it, whatsoever.

I would have told her that.

Something like "Mom, I want to do anything I possibly can to get myself out of this chair. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Why aren't you feeling the same way? Why aren't you doing everything and anything you can? I have to live with this everyday, and I am, but I'm not going to lose hope, ever."

my dad is in a wheelchair because of MS and I donate and give to MS charities every year. I'll never give up hope. Even if it is beyond help for him, it might someday help another.

 

[nasty]

I pretty much DID say that. But, my Mom is perhaps the most cynical person I know. In fact, I think I'm the most hopeful person in the family. She was telling me that I have to pay bills,(wow, 50 for Rent, 100 for TV, 100 for food, about 50/month for taxi fare, and, maybe 10 for Tele and net. Yes, I live CHEAP.) I think I can manage, considering I get paid about 250 every 2 weeks. I told her that I wouldn't buy another DVD for a couple years, and, I MEAN it. I wou;ld rather get out of this chair than entertain myself.

 

[Sillyman]

My grandmother is like that. Every time you are happy about anything she has to tell you why you shouldn't be. Everytime you tell her your plans, she has to point out every little fault. And she talks to you like you are an idiot. I wondered where my arrogance came from, I think I just guessed.

"Wear clean clothes to the job interview"

No, Memaw, I though I would go nekkid.

"Save your money"

But I WANT to blow it all on porno!

"It's gettin cold out. Shouldn't you put on some looooong pauhnts?" (Goddamn annoying mosquito Mississipi drawl)

So I'll be wearing shorts all winter.

 

[samsonagonistes]

Shalom

 

[Guest]

I hear you on this, my parents are both the same way - they are stereotype parents from sit-coms like Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond, right down to the screaming.

nasty, we sometimes share this type of news with our loved ones as a means of creating and maintaining a certain level of intimacy. But since your mom is so negative, it might help to keep your conversations on a more trivial level. This is what I do, and while it would be very nice to have parents that I could have a normal conversation with, I don't. So I talk about the weather, dogs I've had and cars. They still manage to get shitty with these topics, but it doesn't bother me.

Tell US about your hopes - I think it's awesome that you're doing everything you can to reach your goals!!!! It takes a courageous spirit to keep trying, especially with negative forces around you.

VBG

 

[J.B.]

The best thing I can tell you is...
You've done a good thing donating to charity.. Don't let the negativity of others get you down... even if it's from someone you love & expect to back you in whatever you do... because it's usually those people who let you down 1st... What I would suggest is love the person not the words... let her be the negative one. You go on with what you expect to do.
JB

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

Don't let her get you down. It is wonderful that you donated to charity. Everyone should. I have a small list of charities I donate to each year or do some work for (like running marathons and silly shit) and I think if everyone just did a little, it would be a better world.

Please let me know what charity you donate to and I will reasearch and possibly add it to my list.

And I greatly admire you for your strength

 

[Rambling Rose]

Re: $50 for rent - $100 for TV

Is something wrong with that picture, nasty?


I think it's in the Mothering Guidebook that they have to repeatedly tell you things you don't need to hear.

 

[glamorilla]

There's also the possibility she might be afraid of "losing you" if you get better.


Which i totally want to see happen.

So you do exactly what it takes to get there and when she sees you making progress I'll betcha ten bucks the first thing she's gonna do is start crying tears of joy.

Moms are funny that way.

 

[Kitte]

Nasty,

Darlin I know she is your Mom but I think at times a hearty Fuck you is in order. My mother died from complications related to MS and never got to see the day she would be out of her chair. So give all you want, because I KNOW someone is going to get up out of one of those chairs one day and kick some 'it will never happen don't get your hopes up' losers ass! I hope its you!

 

[Ms_Lilith]

wanna know what my mother just did? she found out that my bf is coming to stay with us for the weekend, and that he and I would be alone in the house on Friday (heaven forbid), so she went out of her way to reschedule a doctor's appointment for Friday, which we need to drive her to and from, and then she's taking the rest of the day off.

So I can't make love with him. Haven't seen him in a week, and she did this just so we wouldn't be alone.

 

[InnocentAngel81]

I think some mothers are just mean lately, dont they realize mothers day is soon, maybe I will just get mommy dearest, she pretty much acts like her.

 

[sunstruck]

Ok normally I wouldn't post on a mom thread because, well I really don't have the kind of time it would take to explain my mother. But this evening she has decided to solve our argument about me needing some space and why she doesn't have to call me EVERY day, by calling over and over despite the fact that I have turned off the machine and will not answer the phone. There's no reason to, she only wants to yell at me for EVERYTHING I've ever done wrong in the last 26 years and I am too tired for that. Call # 14.
My point is, we love them, but they have this hold on us, this ability to turn an entire day to shit with one phone call (or 15 in my case). So here I sit in tears ( no one has the ability to make me cry like she does) all because I wanted a little quiet time with my husband.
Your situation is far worse than mine, and it gives me perspective, and all I can hope is that we treat our bonds with our children with more respect.
Call # 22

 

[nasty]

Well, I just found out something that makes me a bit skeptical. The Foundation I donated to is to help spinal cord injuries, and, other nervous sytem disorders. It doesn't specify that it helps Spina Bifida. Because the disorders are slightly different. Christopher Reeve's could obviously walk before his accident. I, on the other hand, never have been able to walk. I didn't think about that when I donated. So, my worry is that this donation really isn't gonna do anything. Because, as much as I would LOVE it if Christopher Reeve's walks, again, I also obviously did it for my benefit.

 

[nasty]

Nasty,

Darlin I know she is your Mom but I think at times a hearty Fuck you is in order. My mother died from complications related to MS and never got to see the day she would be out of her chair. So give all you want, because I KNOW someone is going to get up out of one of those chairs one day and kick some 'it will never happen don't get your hopes up' losers ass! I hope its you!

Yeah. You're right. A hearty Fuck you is in order. So, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Monazwx]

Nasty

I feel your pain.

My father's like that sometimes. Alot.
But, hey what can you do, they're your folks.

If it bothers you this much though, talk about it.
Get it off your chest. After you tell her, at least you'll be relieved.

(Still working up the courage to follow my own advice.)

 

[nasty]

I just saw my Mom, and, she didn't put the check in the mail. She said she wanted to talk with me 1st. The Foundation is to help people with injuries to the spinal cord,(i.e-they've been able to walk,)and, other nervous system disorders. So, since I've NEVER been able to walk, I'm not entirely positive I'm really helping myself, any.

 

[Monazwx]

The spirit of giving

Your happiness about the charity alone is a start.

Generousity always fosters good karma.
Some will come your way.

 

[YogiBare]

I just saw my Mom, and, she didn't put the check in the mail. She said she wanted to talk with me 1st. The Foundation is to help people with injuries to the spinal cord,(i.e-they've been able to walk,)and, other nervous system disorders. So, since I've NEVER been able to walk, I'm not entirely positive I'm really helping myself, any.

nasty, do check into it. However, since your disorder is a disorder of the nervous system, it may very well be included. Why don't you search the net to see if there is an organization out there (Spina Bifida Assoc?) that supports research specifically geared to helping people with your problem?

There are a lot of people here how would jump up and down (me included) to celebrate your taking your first step. I wish you every success!