THANK YOU NEWS 8 FOR BRINGING ME THE HARD HITTING REPORTlNG

[Spinaroonie]

WHICH CHICKEN SOUP TASTES BEST???

OUR IN-DEPTH REPORTING WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SOUP TASTE SCANDAL. ARE THE EXPENSIVE SOUPS REALLY TRYING TO PLEASE YOU OR ARE THEY TRYING TO STEAL YOUR CHILDREN?

IS IT BETTER TO GET A DEHYDRATED SOUP OR DO YOU NEED IT FROZEN?


I'm serious. This was a real report.

ok, I punched it up a bit.

And they never said which was best.

 

[Nora]

News 8 is "feel good" news. It's for all the mo-rons who say things like "why does the news always have to be so depressing? can't they ever have any happy news?"

And voila! News 8 was born.

The only time I watch it is when I'm stuck in the airport and it's either that or strangle the little kid next to me who keeps making "airplane" noises and spitting all over my leg.

 

[Spinaroonie]

News 8 is "feel good" news. It's for all the mo-rons who say things like "why does the news always have to be so depressing? can't they ever have any happy news?"

And voila! News 8 was born.

The only time I watch it is when I'm stuck in the airport and it's either that or strangle the little kid next to me who keeps making "airplane" noises and spitting all over my leg.

ahhhh. There was just nothing on since I downgraded to basic.

 

[Ham Murabi]

Local TV news is hilarious, or phony — I can't decide which.
A couple of weeks ago there was this 30 second spot. The two co-anchors sat side by side and told all of us, with a straight face, how seriously they took the news, and that they would deliver all of it in hard-hitting accounts without a commercial for — what? — maybe 10 minutes.
And then, right after that was over, the same woman anchor comes on in a five-second live spot to promise an update on the network's latest reality show.
Yep, they take the news seriously, all right.