Text formats?

[Sweet_Pea24]

Yep it's me again! I have a story ready to be submitted and I'm needing to format it into Word files (.doc), text files (.txt) or Rich Text Files (.rtf). If I need these I'm wondering who knows a good site I can use that won't download any viruses.

But it also said "or pasted into the submission form." This would be nice, but I want to make sure I'm reading it right so I don't piss anyone off. Is it OK to copy and paste the finished product from google doc or do I need to down load some formatting software and do it that way?

Tanx!

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

I got it! Heres a teaser, what cha think?

A heated and primal feeling of electrocution began to surge through her from the wetness of her flooded womanhood, into her stomach like the ignition of some primal inferno as her stomach seemed to drop as if ridding some cosmic roller coaster as it plummeted relentlessly downward.

Her blood vessels seemed to tingle inside her, blazing with flows of liquid magma blasting through them until the fine lines between pleasure and pain vanished and the two became one throbbing pulsating, shattering, singularity.

 

[little_kid]

assuming you've microsoft Windows XP/Vista/7.
you don't need to download any software for this.

Goto Start Menu >All programs >Accessories>Word pad (or notepad)
copy paste your text in it.
as in the top toolbar of that program, goto File Menu>Save As.
and save it.
If its Wordpad, you can save it as .rtf
if its notepad, you can save it as .txt

 

[SweetErika]

Your best bet for quickest approval is copying and pasting it into the submission form. Then, proofread it very carefully and add any necessary HTML tags if you happen to have any words/phrases in bold, italics, etc.

As for the teaser (since you asked and all ), it reads too repetitive and over-descriptive for my tastes. That is, you're repeating words like "primal" and some imagery, have some serious run-on sentences and the descriptions are florid.

I'd suggest working with an honest editor and/or beta readers (i.e. people who will give you solid constructive criticism, rather than just tell you everything's great) to help you spot some of these things and make it the best story it can be. At least I found having multiple pairs of critical eyes focused on my story to be incredibly helpful.

Good luck with the piece!

 

[infinity706]

I actually liked the heavy use of imagery and the writer's apparently, large vocabulary. It's much more mentally stimulating than stories that use the same handful of words throughout.

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

I actually liked the heavy use of imagery and the writer's apparently, large vocabulary. It's much more mentally stimulating than stories that use the same handful of words throughout.

Thank you, and I agree! Small words and no imagery are the most assured ways of sending me packing when I'm reading stories based on sex. I've gotten to where I'll look over the people who post the articles in the writer's resource area to read theirs, to avoid the whole,

"He unbuttoned his pants and put his dick in her pussy - it was warm and she liked it. Then she came."

type stories, and evidently there are a quite a few like that.

When I start to see that's what a story is going to consist of I'll click off of it lol. It's like cybersex - If you're not going to take your time and put some imagination into the imagery, emotions, and feelings of what the character(s) why bother writing it or reading it?

On the editor advice - I have one.

Thanks Infinity! I'm glad you liked it, should be out in around 72 hrs.

"Wet suck - "Practice makes perfect" cuming soon!

 

[Noira]

I actually liked the heavy use of imagery and the writer's apparently, large vocabulary. It's much more mentally stimulating than stories that use the same handful of words throughout.

Yes, but that large vocabulary is being misused... the repetition of vocabulary words is never a good thing. It's fun but overdone, overplayed, overbuilt. Rule of thumb: if it can be cut, cut it. The run-on sentences are hard to follow and the passive voice less gripping.

A heated feeling of electocution surged through her from the wetness of her flooded womanhood and into her stomach like the ignition of some primal inferno. Her stomach seemed to drop as if riding some cosmic rollercoaster plummeting relentlessly downward.

Her blood vessels tingled inside her, blazing with flows of liquid magma until the fine lines between pleasure and pain vanished and the two became one throbbing, pulsating, shattering singularity.

Vola! Since you asked and all. That's what I'd do to it, anyway. No more repeated word, no more run-on sentence, and it maintains the same vivid imagary and repeated themes. Plus it fixes the comma use in the last bit. Your editor seems to have missed that! I admit I'm not a fan of the massive vocabulary... I myself prefer sharp, raw, and biting... but it's pretty good. I'm not a fan of "womanhood" and I'm not a fan of "blasting through her". The first is well, too flowery for your primal rush and the second is too... non-sexy, it makes me immediately think of science-fiction and that pulls me out of the mood. I would definately avoid the passive voice ("began to" "seemed to" "was" "were", etc) because it's always good to hold the reader to the moment, the very SECOND, especially in such a moment. I do love how the end sentence becomes the comma seperated verbs sort of rushing together. Very orgasmic, and that really does it for me. It's a great use of literary style.

I admit it. Grammar makes me hot.

Good luck with your story!

"He unbuttoned his pants and put his dick in her pussy - it was warm and she liked it. Then she came."

Oh yeah, that's awful. I hate seeing stories like that. There's such a fine balance to strike between writing a list of events and writing raw, passionate, sharp and biting stories. And myself, I think it often very much comes down to the use of stylistic elements to influence the sensation of the story. There's such a huge difference between "he unbuttoned his pants and put his dick in her pussy" and "His pants slid down to reveal his shimmering rod of masculinity, which with he brought to her flowering rose of womanhood bursts of throbbing, shivering desire and eventually filled with his seed of manliness" and well... both are ridiculous. It's all about striking a balance between ridiculous prose and listing events, to make something truly sexy.

I think you're doing fine. It might not be my favorite style, but it's pretty good considering the quality of a lot of stories here on Lit, which fall into the "they meet, list some measurements, list some actions, he came, the end."

Terribly unappealing.

But not every story with shorter words will be like that. They're rare, the stories that carefully, so carefully pick their words to make the biggest impact... but ohhhh so beautiful when they're found. I was left screaming in frustration and the only words on the page were "nothing but white."

BEAUTIFUL.

Anyway, I daresay I got a bit wordy. Good luck!

 

[SweetErika]

Did I suggest small words and no imagery? Nope.

What I am suggesting is that a lot of readers are turned off by extremely elaborate and wildly exaggerated language, just like many (myself included) are totally disgusted by oversimplification. The best stories, IMO, find a happy medium. That is, they're easily readable/accessible to a vast audience while still making the more literate reader think.

I asked about the editor, in part, because you have "ridding" instead of "riding" in the sample. That's the kind of thing writers often don't catch, but thorough editors usually do, so it might be worth it to add another set of eyes to your editing team the next time around.

 

[SweetErika]

Very well said, Noira!

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

Vola! Since you asked and all. That's what I'd do to it, anyway. No more repeated word, no more run-on sentence, and it maintains the same vivid imagary and repeated themes. Plus it fixes the comma use in the last bit. Your editor seems to have missed that! I admit I'm not a fan of the massive vocabulary... I myself prefer sharp, raw, and biting... but it's pretty good. I'm not a fan of "womanhood" and I'm not a fan of "blasting through her". The first is well, too flowery for your primal rush and the second is too... non-sexy, it makes me immediately think of science-fiction and that pulls me out of the mood. I would definately avoid the passive voice ("began to" "seemed to" "was" "were", etc) because it's always good to hold the reader to the moment, the very SECOND, especially in such a moment. I do love how the end sentence becomes the comma seperated verbs sort of rushing together. Very orgasmic, and that really does it for me. It's a great use of literary style.

I admit it. Grammar makes me hot.

Good luck with your story!

Yeah, It's my first story and there are mistakes but I learned allot. My editor might not have been finished, I thought he was because I hadn't seen him for a bit.

Yeah, I didn't care much for the "womanhood" term either to tell the truth, but I was running out of non-scientific terms lol. I'll work on the long winded sentences, the editor mentioned that too. I do see the repetition you and Erika mentioned now that I am looking for it.

And I know about my use of comas and how awful it is lol. I go crazy with it, like I do with the sentences...I get the next like in my head and there I go. I need to learn more control me thinks.

I'm thinking that next time, I'll instead of writing it all out and THEN work on the paragraphs, I'll try writing one paragraph and work on the one until I'm sure about it before I move on to the next.

I appreciate the final compliment on the "orgasmic" nature of the last sentence. I'm all for the constructive criticisms and the explanations behind them! Makes it easier to see what you did. Like I've said elsewhere I haven't taken classes or anything on writing so I'm coming in blind. I'll get it though.

Oh yeah, that's awful. I hate seeing stories like that. There's such a fine balance to strike between writing a list of events and writing raw, passionate, sharp and biting stories. And myself, I think it often very much comes down to the use of stylistic elements to influence the sensation of the story. There's such a huge difference between "he unbuttoned his pants and put his dick in her pussy" and "His pants slid down to reveal his shimmering rod of masculinity, which with he brought to her flowering rose of womanhood bursts of throbbing, shivering desire and eventually filled with his seed of manliness" and well... both are ridiculous. It's all about striking a balance between ridiculous prose and listing events, to make something truly sexy.

Yeah - I've seen a few like that. Usually I run away screaming. I think the second one is all the better for the attention to detail. Like in the authors resource pages, they say "Show me, don't tell me."

I have the showing down I think, now I just need to learn to only show it once lol.

I think you're doing fine. It might not be my favorite style, but it's pretty good considering the quality of a lot of stories here on Lit, which fall into the "they meet, list some measurements, list some actions, he came, the end."

Terribly unappealing.

Well thank ya! Given that it's my first story it's heartening that you'd say that. I can't say I'm all that surprised at the amount of mistakes being pointed out - but don't worry, I generally take constructive criticism pretty well. My main reason in being here and doing this is to learn how to get my imagination into black and white in a way someone else might like too.

But not every story with shorter words will be like that. They're rare, the stories that carefully, so carefully pick their words to make the biggest impact... but ohhhh so beautiful when they're found. I was left screaming in frustration and the only words on the page were "nothing but white."

BEAUTIFUL.

Anyway, I daresay I got a bit wordy. Good luck!

I'll remember that, about the shorter words and the attention to your word usage.

I'm thinking I'm going to cancel the submission if I can, at the very least I put it in a private/non-public board. See if I can work on it a bit more and to make sure my editor was finished. I want to see if I can hammer it out a bit more, so I don't get pummeled. lol

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

Did I suggest small words and no imagery? Nope.

What I am suggesting is that a lot of readers are turned off by extremely elaborate and wildly exaggerated language, just like many (myself included) are totally disgusted by oversimplification. The best stories, IMO, find a happy medium. That is, they're easily readable/accessible to a vast audience while still making the more literate reader think.

I asked about the editor, in part, because you have "ridding" instead of "riding" in the sample. That's the kind of thing writers often don't catch, but thorough editors usually do, so it might be worth it to add another set of eyes to your editing team the next time around.

Um, well I never said you suggested small words and no imagery, Erika. I was responding to what the infinity guy said which is why when I said I had an editor, I specified "On the editor advice." I was trying to respond to you both in one post in the interest of time. I should have specified that. My mistake.

 

[Noira]

I'll remember that, about the shorter words and the attention to your word usage.

I'm thinking I'm going to cancel the submission if I can, at the very least I put it in a private/non-public board. See if I can work on it a bit more and to make sure my editor was finished. I want to see if I can hammer it out a bit more, so I don't get pummeled. lol

You won't get pummeled; you're obviously twice the writer than a lot of stories I've seen here even if it's your first. I KNOW, okay? I edit. I have edited for the sheer, raw, pulsating genius and for the "I've told you twenty times you need an apostrophe there, now stop sending me stories until you try doing something different" and for the "I used Google Translate after writing this in Chinese" extremes... so, you know.

The thing is not just shorter words, but picking your words carefully. When you spam vocabulary words, people get used to them and they lose their impact. Let me use the word fuck for example.

Fuck is a word with impact if used right. On this site, you see it used left, right, and center. He fucked her, fuck this, fuck that, fuckity fuck fuck fuck. It's lost its impact. When you see it, it doesn't catch your attention as something dirty or surprising on Literotica. However, I write on signifigantly more PG rated sites, and when someone in the middle of a story that's otherwise been clean of language suddenly drops the f-bomb... you stop. You notice. Maybe it upsets you a little bit, maybe it's shocking.

The same goes for fancy adjectives. Let's look at "said". Said is a word that's basically ignorable. It progresses dialogue but adds absolutely nothing besides the dialogue itself, and it makes you rely on what's being said (while still attributing a name to the dialogue). When you use only the word "said" as a dialogue tag, then it's boring. If people are always "he screamed" "she moaned" "he yelped" "she whimpered", then the adjectives lose their impact after a while of overuse. But if he's been saying this and she's been saying that and suddenly she moans, well... that catches your attention. It catches your eye amidst the default tag.

If it's always throbbing, vibrating, pulsating, engorged, flushed, and purfumed with the delicate incense of lust... then you're going to have to find something even bigger to make an impact with when the climax arrives (because you already used all those words and you have to get new ones... constantly reusing the same adjectives is never a great idea, though reuse within reason is perfectly acceptable, as long as it's not in the same couple paragraphs), and then you're getting into her benthic cavern of womanhood excavated by her sarcophilous lover whose arrhythmous breath beat a chaotic rhythm on her soul... which is just silly, and you'll need a dictionary just to read it all.

It's not "don't use these words ever". It's "use them wisely".

The best writers can frustrate me with the simplest of words. But the best writers can also weave the most complex of words into a song unfolding on a page.

Yeah - I've seen a few like that. Usually I run away screaming. I think the second one is all the better for the attention to detail. Like in the authors resource pages, they say "Show me, don't tell me."

I have the showing down I think, now I just need to learn to only show it once lol.

The problem with the second one is the silliness.

Good, I'm glad you have "show, don't tell" down. That is the most important rule ever. However... showing is not just what's going on, but very much getting into the heart of a character, and uhm, when you're distracted... well...

Heh heh.

Verbrosity is not always the first thing on your mind, and showing can also involve, well... showing that, ehem, distraction too. But yes! It's good that you've got that! It's a hard street to back out of, if you're stuck just telling. I admit I may not be the showiest writer around, though.

And I know about my use of comas and how awful it is lol. I go crazy with it, like I do with the sentences...I get the next like in my head and there I go. I need to learn more control me thinks.

I'm thinking that next time, I'll instead of writing it all out and THEN work on the paragraphs, I'll try writing one paragraph and work on the one until I'm sure about it before I move on to the next.

Nooooo. Please, please, don't let me get you stuck like that. My biggest encouragement as an editor is always "write it all as fast as you can regardless of how shitty it is and THEN edit it." You know why? Because stories love evolving. Because characters are alive. Because when you're writing, if you start getting caught up on making each sentence perfect, it takes so long to produce things and you're always, always your worst critic. I'm a strong advocate of NaNoWriMo, which means I'm also an advocate of editing after the fact. It makes it easier because you can see the whole picture and slowly smooth the pacing out to whatever you want it to be.

I've tried writing a few stories where I want each paragraph to be perfect, and well, those stories stay a few paragraphs long.

(However, what works for me in this case doesn't work for everyone so if you find editing as you go to be more effective, props for you. It's just my warning. I have one friend who wrote like that and never wrote more than a couple pages before crashing and burning.)

As for commas... commas are a little breath, periods are a big breath, paragraphs are a tiny break. Ellipsises and emdashes let you connect things that you want to flow into each other but should be used sparingly; semi-colons go if you have two related thoughts that could both work independant of each other as sentences but you want to keep them tied together. Read your writing out loud and you will generally find that, though my little description up there doesn't cover all the grammarical nuances, that is how punctuation should work. If you're reading and you find you can't keep going without running out of breath, use a period. That's not the grammarical way of figuring out and fixing run on sentences, but it's a pretty workable rule of thumb. Commas come when you have natural little pauses in the sentence, and periods come when you need to breathe... and ellipsises with that little lingering pause. Sparingly, of course! As you read, you should hear the difference between that longer sentence and then the little short, punchy one. Regarding style: Short sentences are more breathless. Longer ones are more breath-taking. And fragments! Those are tiny gasps. You'll see that if you read poetry people use tiny sentences for sharp impact sometimes.

That should hopefully help.

Don't take my criticism personally; I don't think it's bad, I just happen to really like helping people make their writing great. I hope your story's accepted and I hope you go on to write many more things. For a first story it's damn good. You should've seen my first stories. They were glorious atrocities. Your writing shines compared! Though I'm glad to see you eager to make your work your very best. That's a great additude for a writer and if you keep up with that I can see you posting awesome stories in the weeks and months to come.

Definately link your story when it's accepted. I'd like to read the whole thing.

Very well said, Noira!

Aw, thanks.

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

You won't get pummeled; you're obviously twice the writer than a lot of stories I've seen here even if it's your first. I KNOW, okay? I edit. I have edited for the sheer, raw, pulsating genius and for the "I've told you twenty times you need an apostrophe there, now stop sending me stories until you try doing something different" and for the "I used Google Translate after writing this in Chinese" extremes... so, you know.

The thing is not just shorter words, but picking your words carefully. When you spam vocabulary words, people get used to them and they lose their impact. Let me use the word fuck for example.

Fuck is a word with impact if used right. On this site, you see it used left, right, and center. He fucked her, fuck this, fuck that, fuckity fuck fuck fuck. It's lost its impact. When you see it, it doesn't catch your attention as something dirty or surprising on Literotica. However, I write on signifigantly more PG rated sites, and when someone in the middle of a story that's otherwise been clean of language suddenly drops the f-bomb... you stop. You notice. Maybe it upsets you a little bit, maybe it's shocking.

LoL - I don't know that was only two paragraphs out of a pretty long story.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not like all butt-hurt over needing to take it down, or getting a little criticism. No one has said anything hurtful, I'm good with criticism as long as it's not like, mean spirited or just down right unnecessarily cruel. No - I'm just getting all these new ideas and information on how I can improve how good it is.

I'm not expecting any great awe inspiring - professional grade story my first time out, I just want it to be clear of really really amateur mistakes which will ruin an otherwise pretty good story according to my editor. Just so I can look for the rest of the repetitiveness, run ons, and the descriptions. See, I've read another article that said that you have to describe your characters, but not all at once...Another mistake I made lol.

It's a pretty long drawn out description I must say lol.

But thank you for the compliment, was very sweet.

But I'm getting your meaning, I'm really learning allot from my current editor as well as this and several other threads, not to mention what I see in the resource area. What I think I need to do as far as the resource pages, is read them and mull them over a bit, then come into the forum to post my opinions and understandings of what I've read, and see what sort of discussions and clarifications unfold from it. That's one reason I love forums on various topics, you can read information and discuss it with people who know how to expand on it.

I wonder if your comment on repetition of words is what Infinity was driving at too, and not small words without imagery like I took it? I really love the way you put things, such feeling into the simplest advice which makes it really stick. I SO want to be just like you when I grow up (and that's not sarcasm lol)!

That said - I am really feeling the advice on choosing those words now. Picking words that don't get used to much and not overusing them in the story, is that right? Looking at it that way really drives the point of how long someone could spend choosing a single word home. Especially challenging I'll bet when writing a story on sex on a sexually centered writing site.

I'll definitely be spending some time mulling that over and working to put it into practice. Need to look for shock value...Noted, though I must say I'm thinking the sex scene in my story will be pretty shocking for some...I was kinda a bad girl on that one lol.

The same goes for fancy adjectives. Let's look at "said". Said is a word that's basically ignorable. It progresses dialogue but adds absolutely nothing besides the dialogue itself, and it makes you rely on what's being said (while still attributing a name to the dialogue). When you use only the word "said" as a dialogue tag, then it's boring. If people are always "he screamed" "she moaned" "he yelped" "she whimpered", then the adjectives lose their impact after a while of overuse. But if he's been saying this and she's been saying that and suddenly she moans, well... that catches your attention. It catches your eye amidst the default tag.

See? - This is something else I need to refresh and polish up on. The meaning of words like adjectives, lol you know, the terminology I mean. Probably be a huge help. Yeah - My ignorance of what I'm doing is THAT bad lol, but like I said, I'll get it.

So then! I need to make myself a long list of usable adjectives that describe the nature of what's being said. Take words like "squealed" "whimpered" etc and really give some thought to when and where I want to use them in the story. I can see how this can be a good example of "less is more." I can see how adding the perfect adjective to an otherwise run-of-the-mill statement can change the entire feeling behind it, by removing the need for "She said this way or that for example.

So I need to research words and synonym words (so I have a good crop, you know?) that can be attributed to describe things like boredom, love, passion, carnality, excitableness, spiritedness etc. in a way that might cut down allot on long descriptive paragraphs. I can see the less is more thing there too!

You're awesome! (I'm hoping I'm comprehending everything right too lol)

If it's always throbbing, vibrating, pulsating, engorged, flushed, and purfumed with the delicate incense of lust... then you're going to have to find something even bigger to make an impact with when the climax arrives (because you already used all those words and you have to get new ones... constantly reusing the same adjectives is never a great idea, though reuse within reason is perfectly acceptable, as long as it's not in the same couple paragraphs), and then you're getting into her benthic cavern of womanhood excavated by her sarcophilous lover whose arrhythmous breath beat a chaotic rhythm on her soul... which is just silly, and you'll need a dictionary just to read it all.

LoL - Are you sure you haven't already read my story? That's allot of what happened with me. Case in point, "womanhood." I didn't really want to go with words like "cunt" or "pussy," I want to portray the character as an innocent and naive girl who is just learning to be really dirty (I want to write romance but I know I'm not ready for that yet lol) and the finer points of oral sex, in hopes of pleasing her soul-mate over seas.

Probably an awful lot of story for the dirty dick sucker/ girl with dildo crowd huh?

It's not "don't use these words ever". It's "use them wisely".

The best writers can frustrate me with the simplest of words. But the best writers can also weave the most complex of words into a song unfolding on a page.

writers can also weave the most complex of words into a song unfolding on a page.

Now see Noira? LoL that is SO what I was talking about! You seem to have the ability to take the simplest advice and make it almost spiritual lol. It really is an effective teaching tool! LOVES it! You've been at this a while haven't you? lol.

I can see I have allot of work to do, and a long road in doing it. I think you, Erika, and this thread will be a huge help on that! I think if someone takes the time to criticize and give explanations and advice on how to fix it or do better in the future are doing you a favor, even paying you a compliment by making what you did worth their time.

Thanks all of you!

The problem with the second one is the silliness.

OK - Yeah it was cheesy, I'll give you that lol, but it was allot less so than the example of writing style I posted. It created an image I mean.

Good, I'm glad you have "show, don't tell" down. That is the most important rule ever. However... showing is not just what's going on, but very much getting into the heart of a character, and uhm, when you're distracted... well...

Heh heh.

Verbrosity is not always the first thing on your mind, and showing can also involve, well... showing that, ehem, distraction too. But yes! It's good that you've got that! It's a hard street to back out of, if you're stuck just telling. I admit I may not be the showiest writer around, though.

Haha - so are you saying it might not be a good idea to do your writing when you're horny?

That's what I was working at too though, I worked to give her a complex personality, history, emotional state, etc. I just love when an author helps me really get to know their character(s). Why they do what they do, why they are how they are. I think I went a little over board especially given that the end of the story is pretty much just really dirty, sloppy, deep throat on a big rubber dinger stuck to a mirror, and her getting off on the idea of doing it on her husband lol...LoL yeah lets face it - not exactly the sex lovey dovey fans are going to want to read, and not exactly the type of story the naughty ones are going to want.

Nooooo. Please, please, don't let me get you stuck like that. My biggest encouragement as an editor is always "write it all as fast as you can regardless of how shitty it is and THEN edit it." You know why? Because stories love evolving. Because characters are alive. Because when you're writing, if you start getting caught up on making each sentence perfect, it takes so long to produce things and you're always, always your worst critic. I'm a strong advocate of NaNoWriMo, which means I'm also an advocate of editing after the fact. It makes it easier because you can see the whole picture and slowly smooth the pacing out to whatever you want it to be.

I've tried writing a few stories where I want each paragraph to be perfect, and well, those stories stay a few paragraphs long.

(However, what works for me in this case doesn't work for everyone so if you find editing as you go to be more effective, props for you. It's just my warning. I have one friend who wrote like that and never wrote more than a couple pages before crashing and burning.)

LoL that's usually how I do it, just let it come and blurt it out on the keyboard. I think you're right though, keeping that flow is probably the better way for me too. Instead of getting off to something else like editing and forgetting where you wanted to go next.

Another thing I do, is as I edit I always come up with more stuff to add to a paragraph until I have to make a new one, especially since the paragraphs they like for you to write when writing on the net are so small. There just always seems to be something to add lol. Kills me as far as time goes, and nearly drove my editor crazy. Yet another reason I'll bet not to go it the paragraph at a time rout eh?

Actually - come to think about it, that's probably what happened with the commas he missed. I probably went in and added them while I was adding to something when he thought he was done...

That was smart...lol

As for commas... commas are a little breath, periods are a big breath, paragraphs are a tiny break. Ellipsises and emdashes let you connect things that you want to flow into each other but should be used sparingly; semi-colons go if you have two related thoughts that could both work independant of each other as sentences but you want to keep them tied together. Read your writing out loud and you will generally find that, though my little description up there doesn't cover all the grammarical nuances, that is how punctuation should work. If you're reading and you find you can't keep going without running out of breath, use a period. That's not the grammarical way of figuring out and fixing run on sentences, but it's a pretty workable rule of thumb. Commas come when you have natural little pauses in the sentence, and periods come when you need to breathe... and ellipsises with that little lingering pause. Sparingly, of course! As you read, you should hear the difference between that longer sentence and then the little short, punchy one. Regarding style: Short sentences are more breathless. Longer ones are more breath-taking. And fragments! Those are tiny gasps. You'll see that if you read poetry people use tiny sentences for sharp impact sometimes.

That should hopefully help.

It does help! I'm getting allot of use out of these posts you guys make!

Don't take my criticism personally; I don't think it's bad, I just happen to really like helping people make their writing great. I hope your story's accepted and I hope you go on to write many more things. For a first story it's damn good. You should've seen my first stories. They were glorious atrocities. Your writing shines compared! Though I'm glad to see you eager to make your work your very best. That's a great additude for a writer and if you keep up with that I can see you posting awesome stories in the weeks and months to come.

Definately link your story when it's accepted. I'd like to read the whole thing.

Noooo lol. I don't want you to think I'm taking anything personally! If you start thinking that you won't want to help me anymore!

You certainly have a knack for helping and teaching too! That's just something that seems undebatable to me. You know just how to explain things.

I am very eager to learn. I want to get this down because I have a very specific story in mind. I don't know if you've already seen where I've mentioned it in some other thread, but it's a romance set in either Pagan (pre-St. Patrick) Ireland or Gaul before or at the time it fell to the Roman army. I'm planning to do all sorts of research on history, mythology, archeology, culture, the cloths worn by lower through upper/royal classes. I want to study everything I need to give all the characters in the story their own complex personality and history in the context of that culture.

See? LoL, I just have this torturous amount of ideas and inspiration rolling around up there, I'm just aware that I'm lacking the skills to really put it into a format that others will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it/dreaming it up.

I'd love it if you wanted to help me edit the edited version though, It's not bad or a sign of distrust if you use more than one editor is it? I hope not because I'm thinking Erika's idea of having more than one editor is actually the way to go, and like she said I want to find the ones who are really good and honest. Which my current editor is all of those things - I just think it would be good, especially for some one with my inexperience, to have more than on set of knowledgeable eyes and helping hands. Just be forewarned, it does get pretty hardcore lol. My husband got me addicted to the crazy stuff I'm afraid.

LoL - Just be glad HE didn't write it lol

And I think we have something in common. We both seem to like making big responses...LOL

 

[Noira]

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not like all butt-hurt over needing to take it down, or getting a little criticism. No one has said anything hurtful, I'm good with criticism as long as it's not like, mean spirited or just down right unnecessarily cruel. No - I'm just getting all these new ideas and information on how I can improve how good it is.

Yeah, I just remember being 14 and getting totally pissed off when people gave me relentless and accurate critiques of my babies so I tend to play carefully. Most writers have to have thick skins so you're on the right track and since you have the mindset of "I can improve!" you're definately on the right track.

I'm not expecting any great awe inspiring - professional grade story my first time out, I just want it to be clear of really really amateur mistakes which will ruin an otherwise pretty good story according to my editor.

I've heard it said that you have to write a million words before you write a good story. Which is why I ever so advocate NaNoWriMo. I bet I have enough words, now I just have to write my good story.

See, I've read another article that said that you have to describe your characters, but not all at once...Another mistake I made lol.

That's one place laundry list stories fail, yep! But here's the thing: articles say these things but they're not rules, they're rules of thumb. If you're a good writer, you can break these rules. If you're a newer writer these are just the sort of things to avoid doing to make your writing better. Don't worry if your story doesn't follow every rule, just keep them in mind.

But I'm getting your meaning, I'm really learning allot from my current editor as well as this and several other threads, not to mention what I see in the resource area. What I think I need to do as far as the resource pages, is read them and mull them over a bit, then come into the forum to post my opinions and understandings of what I've read, and see what sort of discussions and clarifications unfold from it.

Can I encourage you to consider joining some better writer forums, then? Literorica seems to focus on the "erotic" and occasionally that scarlet "A" and almost never the "Lit". You'll find more resources for writers in such places as Absolute Write and NaNoWriMo's forums (and both I named have erotica genre forums, which is why I listed them).

But yeah, definately read resources and mull over them and then post about them. Discussions bring oh so glorious things sometimes.

That said - I am really feeling the advice on choosing those words now. Picking words that don't get used to much and not overusing them in the story, is that right? Looking at it that way really drives the point of how long someone could spend choosing a single word home.

Yesss! Exactly!

So then! I need to make myself a long list of usable adjectives that describe the nature of what's being said. Take words like "squealed" "whimpered" etc and really give some thought to when and where I want to use them in the story. I can see how this can be a good example of "less is more." I can see how adding the perfect adjective to an otherwise run-of-the-mill statement can change the entire feeling behind it, by removing the need for "She said this way or that for example.

"You're mine," he said.
"You're mine," he growled.

(shrugs) It does change it, doesn't it.

So I need to research words and synonym words (so I have a good crop, you know?) that can be attributed to describe things like boredom, love, passion, carnality, excitableness, spiritedness etc. in a way that might cut down allot on long descriptive paragraphs. I can see the less is more thing there too!

Yep, definately. This is one of my favorite word tools. http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml It's a reverse dictionary. There's also this, which is a list of dead words and more interesting replacements. http://www.iss.k12.nc.us/writing/deadwords.htm The site also has a list of other words for 'said'.

You're getting the concept of less is more now, yes. It's not about picking boring words, it's about picking the perfect word.

You're awesome! (I'm hoping I'm comprehending everything right too lol)

You are.

Probably an awful lot of story for the dirty dick sucker/ girl with dildo crowd huh?

They'll get over it.

Now see Noira? LoL that is SO what I was talking about! You seem to have the ability to take the simplest advice and make it almost spiritual lol. It really is an effective teaching tool!

I believe in showing, not telling. My posts are littered with examples of what I'm talking about. But good! I'm glad you're grasping it!

You've been at this a while haven't you?

(eyes calendar)
I've been writing since I was 13. Seven years. I started out writing beautiful disasters. I suppose I've been critiquing for around five years, growing all the while. I sound older and wiser than I am. ;-) Writing is just my "thing" and it always has been.

I think if someone takes the time to criticize and give explanations and advice on how to fix it or do better in the future are doing you a favor, even paying you a compliment by making what you did worth their time.

Thanks for understanding that. It's not because I don't like you, it's because I want you to do the best you can, and I think it's worth my time.

Another thing I do, is as I edit I always come up with more stuff to add to a paragraph until I have to make a new one, especially since the paragraphs they like for you to write when writing on the net are so small. There just always seems to be something to add lol. Kills me as far as time goes, and nearly drove my editor crazy. Yet another reason I'll bet not to go it the paragraph at a time rout eh?

Oh yes. That's what I call self-editing. Do it before sending it to an editor.

I am very eager to learn. I want to get this down because I have a very specific story in mind. I don't know if you've already seen where I've mentioned it in some other thread, but it's a romance set in either Pagan (pre-St. Patrick) Ireland or Gaul before or at the time it fell to the Roman army. I'm planning to do all sorts of research on history, mythology, archeology, culture, the cloths worn by lower through upper/royal classes. I want to study everything I need to give all the characters in the story their own complex personality and history in the context of that culture.

Just don't get too caught up in the study to write the actual story. Remember you can always edit. You don't have to have a bachelor degree in the history before you start writing. Sounds great, though, I love the idea of the setting. <3

I'd love it if you wanted to help me edit the edited version though, It's not bad or a sign of distrust if you use more than one editor is it? I hope not because I'm thinking Erika's idea of having more than one editor is actually the way to go, and like she said I want to find the ones who are really good and honest. Which my current editor is all of those things - I just think it would be good, especially for some one with my inexperience, to have more than on set of knowledgeable eyes and helping hands.

Just let your other editors know if you have more than one editor because there'll be more than one person's imput in the final story and they may have differing opinions. Otherwise, if you're going for PUBLICATION... it's recommended to have at least FOUR people go over your story besides yourself. Not professional editors, but people to critique mercilessly, at least.

I don't "edit" in a traditional fashion. I make you do all your own editing and just jam the story full of notes in brackets on what to change and suggest rewrites in places. It's very educational for anyone who wants to learn, but I don't hold back... it's not the style of editing for everyone, but for those it is, they love it and beg for more.

It pleases my inner sadist.

Also I'm a pretty slow editor, because I go through the story in great detail and don't just edit grammar... in fact, I'm not the best choice for a grammar editor because I do miss things and spelling's not my strong point... but rather I go through and look at writing style, the characters, the story itself, and everything as a whole. You may have to repeatedly poke me through PM or let me know if you need it back by a certain time. Don't be afraid to remind me.

Otherwise, yeah, I do edit. Chuck me a Google Doc via PM.

And I think we have something in common. We both seem to like making big responses...LOL

Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe. >.>

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

Yeah, I just remember being 14 and getting totally pissed off when people gave me relentless and accurate critiques of my babies so I tend to play carefully. Most writers have to have thick skins so you're on the right track and since you have the mindset of "I can improve!" you're definately on the right track.

Yeah, I've heard that some of them get pretty weird about it. I read that "Ways to piss off an editor" and was cracking up! There was all kinds of crazy stuff that some of the writers do apparently. Like sending it off to an editor then not doing anything they suggest. Seems strange to me to ask someone for help and then not do anything they say.

Well relentless can probably be tough on anyone, but I think a 14 yr. old is kinda expected to think she knows more than anyone else. LoL I'm twice that and my tummy twisted a little too when I first started getting criticized. I mean writing out that story is allot of work right? You want to think you're doing it right, making it the best it can be. It can be frustrating. More so I'd imagine for a 14yr. old. lol.

I don't just want to improve lol. I want to be the best!

I've heard it said that you have to write a million words before you write a good story. Which is why I ever so advocate NaNoWriMo. I bet I have enough words, now I just have to write my good story.

Yeah, you learn as you go, I'm seeing that pretty clearly. Takes allot of practice practice practice. This one story has probably tripled what I know about writing. If I'm reading you right, my take is all the classes in the world aren't going to equal to a little experience (not that classes are a bad thing mind you lol).

That's one place laundry list stories fail, yep! But here's the thing: articles say these things but they're not rules, they're rules of thumb. If you're a good writer, you can break these rules. If you're a newer writer these are just the sort of things to avoid doing to make your writing better. Don't worry if your story doesn't follow every rule, just keep them in mind.

OMG I'm happy to hear that! Thing is - I have two editors and neither of them have made any real argument or suggestions to the effect I needed to change it. Neither of them mentioned it actually.

Thank GOD! LoL - That means I can *try* just rewording it and correcting usage etc. without rewriting. I think I did good there (aside from repetitiveness and stuff), I really worked to keep it entertaining. I'll make the corrections - try to make it read better, grammar etc. And see what the editors think.

Can I encourage you to consider joining some better writer forums, then? Literorica seems to focus on the "erotic" and occasionally that scarlet "A" and almost never the "Lit". You'll find more resources for writers in such places as Absolute Write and NaNoWriMo's forums (and both I named have erotica genre forums, which is why I listed them).

But yeah, definately read resources and mull over them and then post about them. Discussions bring oh so glorious things sometimes.

Well you sure can! I'm definitely not opposed to trying to learn this from as many different angles as I can. I gotta tell ya, there are some odd ducks in this pond. I mean some people are really sweet, but with the "please abuse me" e-mails, and this latest "The baby sitter bled on my dildo" messages...I can't help but worry for the stability of some.

But you get passed that, and you meet the really sweet ones like Teknight, and my other editor (god I've forgotten his name) you see it's really not so bad here. But hell yeah! I'll google em and have a look! Do you go by the same name?

Yesss! Exactly!


"You're mine," he said.
"You're mine," he growled.

(shrugs) It does change it, doesn't it.

Every trade has it's tools! Like the hubbie says when he's playing with his pick up, "there a right and a wrong tool for every job." This is one of those V-8 moment type things though...I had a "basic" idea of it, which is why I invaded the synonyms sites. Having it explained like this though, is more effective IMO, not to mention I'll be able to make better use of those sites when I do.

Yep, definately. This is one of my favorite word tools. http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml It's a reverse dictionary. There's also this, which is a list of dead words and more interesting replacements. http://www.iss.k12.nc.us/writing/deadwords.htm The site also has a list of other words for 'said'.

Yay! More links!

I take it "dead words" are the boring ones that have no impact then? I'm eager to finish this post now so I can go see what a reverse dictionary is lol. I'll definitely get these tacked up in my favs too!

You're getting the concept of less is more now, yes. It's not about picking boring words, it's about picking the perfect word.

They'll get over it.

LOL

I believe in showing, not telling. My posts are littered with examples of what I'm talking about. But good! I'm glad you're grasping it!

Slowly but surely lol

(eyes calendar)
I've been writing since I was 13. Seven years. I started out writing beautiful disasters. I suppose I've been critiquing for around five years, growing all the while. I sound older and wiser than I am. ;-) Writing is just my "thing" and it always has been.

OMG You're 20?! Haha I NEVER would have guessed you were younger than me. I had this mental image of this little ol lady sitting at a type writer. Well I don't know if I should send you my story now or not. I don't want to lead you down the same darkened path I was led down and corrupt you lol.

Thanks for understanding that. It's not because I don't like you, it's because I want you to do the best you can, and I think it's worth my time.

Aww, I know! If you had wanted to be mean there were allot worse things that could have been said.

Oh yes. That's what I call self-editing. Do it before sending it to an editor.

Teky likes to edit with you there so you can discuss changes and all that. That's how I got in trouble though lol.

Just don't get too caught up in the study to write the actual story. Remember you can always edit. You don't have to have a bachelor degree in the history before you start writing. Sounds great, though, I love the idea of the setting. <3

I won't. My hubbie is one of those "reconstructionist" people so he can help me allot too.

Just let your other editors know if you have more than one editor because there'll be more than one person's imput in the final story and they may have differing opinions. Otherwise, if you're going for PUBLICATION... it's recommended to have at least FOUR people go over your story besides yourself. Not professional editors, but people to critique mercilessly, at least.

I don't "edit" in a traditional fashion. I make you do all your own editing and just jam the story full of notes in brackets on what to change and suggest rewrites in places. It's very educational for anyone who wants to learn, but I don't hold back... it's not the style of editing for everyone, but for those it is, they love it and beg for more.

It pleases my inner sadist.

Also I'm a pretty slow editor, because I go through the story in great detail and don't just edit grammar... in fact, I'm not the best choice for a grammar editor because I do miss things and spelling's not my strong point... but rather I go through and look at writing style, the characters, the story itself, and everything as a whole. You may have to repeatedly poke me through PM or let me know if you need it back by a certain time. Don't be afraid to remind me.

Otherwise, yeah, I do edit. Chuck me a Google Doc via PM.

I will! Teky was actually the second editor I had, the first messaged me today with his work. Both of them did really great work so here's what I'm thinking the plan may be.

I'll take what the first editor has done with it, I love some of the wording and phrase changes hes made and add to it some of what Teky and me came up with, like the story changes to kind of add a little more to her personality and past, and some of what we did in other places and mix it up. Then when I'm done with that maybe send it to you and let you do your magic.

But seriously though - If you've never like watched any hardcore porn or anything, do let me know. It'll be fine, and I'll have you help with the next one.

LoL, I'm afraid I'll send it and you'll be so freaked out you'll never want to talk to me again lol. Going around with this blank look on your face all flushed and confused...

Like I was the first time I saw a Max Hardcore movie. I couldn't look at my husband the same way for a week. Now I love it. lol

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml

OMG, I just did a search for pussy, to replace womanhood...Who knew there were words like "Hooded skunk" and "putrid" to describe it.

If I knew who it was coming up with these terms, I'd SOO tell their wives!

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

http://www.iss.k12.nc.us/writing/deadwords.htm

Ohhh This is tooo good!

 

[Sweet_Pea24]

Absolute Write and NaNoWriMo's forums

Ohhhhh I gots me some reading to doooo lol