Tell me I'm not the only one!!

[BlueSugar]

Just sit and stare at thost screen names you just can't delete from your buddy list?

Ever type out a whole "good" hello, after a million backspaces - and still not hit send?

What stops us?

Personally, I hate that random IM from that long ago person.


But how many other people also hate ... love it ...?

 

[bobsgirl]

What stops me? Could be I'm not sure of the reception I'll get. Or not sure I even want to re-establish contact. Sometimes it's not worth the effort.

Ever tell someone on IM that you're on your way out the door to break contact and then just turn off IM?

 

[boston_bbw]

I am famous for useing the stealth setting on Y Messenger so appear invisible. A way of screening calls almost..lol. If I choose to speak with them I can initiate, or if they initiate I can decide if and when I want to repond. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I do try and "thin" my buddy list every 6 months or so to keep it to just people I actually talk to you but find myself keeping I still don't chat with.

 

[Lynxie]

So I'm not the only one with IM social anxiety? Nice. My buddy list is full of people that I've known since high school, yet I don't talk to the majority of them. I just can't bring myself to delete them from the list, though... I guess I'm still holding out hope that they'll talk to me. Unfortunately, when old contacts do IM me, I often pull the old, "I was just on my way out" and log off trick.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Yeah I am the same way. Someone from high school will be on there or someone I hardly talk to, but I can never get the strength to delete them. Of course on MSN I have a seperate category for them "Other contacts" and I hardly ever talk to them so I just keep that group closed.

I would wait for them to talk to me, but the thing is, no one messages me first. Either I message them or I don't talk to no one. It gets very annoying, but that's how things go I guess.


Ravin

 

[EJFan]

funny... i actually just purged a shitload of people from my buddy list the other day. i do this about once every couple of years.

the people i actually KNOW are usually in there forever and even if we don't IM regularly we stay in touch enough to kind of avoid that anxiety you described... which i can totally understand.

the people i've never really met are the ones who i usually wind up deleting. it's kind of like having a fleeting friendship that hits a wall because there's no real life interaction to sort of solidify it. once you get to that point where the "virtual friendship" doesn't grow/morph anymore i just don't send/receive IM's and after about a year of that they get bumped from my list. and that makes a much more comfortable/managable list of buddies.

i've junked some people i actually KNEW over the years but it's very rare for me.

 

[bisexplicit]

Nah, you're not the only one. I still have an exboyfriend from four years ago on my buddy list...I feel like someday I might one to talk to him, maybe...just to make sure hes still the biggest jerk alive, I guess. heh.

 

[BlueSugar]

Nah, you're not the only one. I still have an exboyfriend from four years ago on my buddy list...I feel like someday I might one to talk to him, maybe...just to make sure hes still the biggest jerk alive, I guess. heh.

yep.
*looks at buddylist*
going onto 4 years next month of blissful broken up non speaking ness!

 

[Quoll]

So I'm not the only one with IM social anxiety? Nice. My buddy list is full of people that I've known since high school, yet I don't talk to the majority of them. I just can't bring myself to delete them from the list, though... I guess I'm still holding out hope that they'll talk to me. Unfortunately, when old contacts do IM me, I often pull the old, "I was just on my way out" and log off trick.

I have solved that problem, I just don't add anybody to my list .
I have very few on my list, only some very close friends, and yet somedays I still have trouble initiating conversations. If someone IMs me I will talk, but there is always the worry that more than one person will IM me at the same time and I dislike talking to more than one person at a time, which leaves me with having to make a choice who I talk too, I hate that.

 

[midwestyankee]

What's a buddy list? If I can't remember someone's IM name then I have to figure they don't matter enough for me to want to correspond with them. And if I want to talk with someone, I can always send out an exploratory message to see if they're around.

 

[Private_Label]

I am famous for useing the stealth setting on Y Messenger so appear invisible. A way of screening calls almost..lol. If I choose to speak with them I can initiate, or if they initiate I can decide if and when I want to repond. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I do try and "thin" my buddy list every 6 months or so to keep it to just people I actually talk to you but find myself keeping I still don't chat with.

*raises hand* I am guilty of that crime too. But only because I kept getting pelted with messages from someone who I specifically told to leave me alone and not contact me. He was an annoying twit who couldn't understand that I didn't want to be his GF and would NEVER want to be his GF (ick). It had to do with his attitude and the fact that he wouldn't accept no (wasn't anyone at Lit - it was on a game forum - and at the time I was not cruising for romance) even when told in a public setting in front of others.

I like how I can change my YIM setting for individual friends- some will see me, and others will not. Sometimes I leave others off, because I am waiting to talk to a specific person and don't want to have to tell others, "sorry, I'm going to go talk to someone else now, I don't have time for you..."

Come to think of it, that is why I didn't get ICQ when it first came out, if I was on line looking for something, I didn't have time for idle chit-chat. If I don't have it, I won't feel the need to say - "sorry I'm busy."

I also let the answering machine get the phone when I am home. Saves me dealing with telemarketers. Anyone I would like to talk to, can leave a message and I will usually pick up if I am home.

I had a friend who I was having a very deep conversation with and my phone rang, and she stopped, and said "aren't you going to get that?" When I explained that was WHY I had the answering machine, and what she was talking about was more important at the moment. She was shocked.
Yes, I do hate cell phones for that very reason. I may be pushed to get one at some point for some reason, but now, I don't have one and I like it that way.

 

[Munachi]

well more than 50 % on my list are people i know from whatever message board, and quite a few are never online anymore... but really i never deleted anyone... i have one person permanently blocked, and other people i block every now and then and disblock them when i want to talk to them. except that one guy so far there is no one i think i would never talk to at all... ah except yes, there is an ex on there but he is never online... if he was, actually, not sure if i would contact him, but he owes me 500 dollars so i might try to get those back - since we never spoke at all since breaking up i could never ask for them... but it might not be worth the hassle, though right now here i could live for two months with that money...

 

[Casey811]

Same, most are from nearly 5 years of chatroom friendships/relationships.
Half I don't even remember.
Half I don't want to remember.
And half don't log on anymore.

I keep them on there as almost a picture album of my internet experiences.
Look at them occasionaly and remember...

 

[Typo Fu Master]

I try not to add anyone to my buddy list that I won't be continually talking with and yet out of a total of 10 people, I talk to maybe one or two. And yet I leave the others on there ...

It seems like everytime I add someone that I think I'll be chatting with, we end up drifting apart. I'm not in the habit of PM'ing someone just to chat, because I respect people's privacy, and I know it's not always a good time just because they're online.