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Motion Induced Blindness, Interesting.



In a motor accident, wherein a speeding car hits a slower moving vehicle coming from the side, the speeding car drivers often swear that they just didn't see the vehicle coming from the left or right.

Well, they aren't lying. They really don't see the vehicle coming from the side, in spite of broad daylight.

This phenomenon, on the car drivers, part is known as 'Motion Induced Blindness'. It is definitely frightening.

Once airborne, pilots are taught to alternate their gaze between scanning the horizon and scanning their instrument panel, and never to fix their gaze for more than a couple of seconds on any single object. They are taught to continually keep their heads on a swivel and their eyes always moving. Because, if you fix your gaze on one object long enough while you yourself are in motion, your peripheral vision goes blind.

Till about three decades ago, this 'heads on swivel & eyes moving' technique was the only way to spot other aircraft in the skies around. Now-a-days they have on-board radars, but the old technique still holds good.

Let me give you a small demonstration of motion induced blindness. Just click on the link below. You will see a revolving array of blue crosses on a black background. There is a flashing green dot in the centre and three fixed yellow dots around it. If you fix your gaze on the green dot for more than a few seconds, the yellow dots will disappear at random, either singly, or in pairs, or all three together. In reality, the yellow dots are always there.

Just watch the yellow dots for some time to ensure that they don't go anywhere!

http://www.msf-usa.org/motion.html

*So, if you are driving at a high speed on a highway and if you fix your gaze on the road straight ahead, you will not see a car, a scooter, a buggy, a bicycle, a buffalo or even a human being approaching from the side.

*Now reverse the picture. If you are crossing a road on foot and you see a speeding car approaching, there's a 90% chance that the driver isn't seeing you, because his/her peripheral vision may be blind! And you may be in that blind zone!!
 
Thibodeaux and Boudreaux entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the candy, Thibodeaux stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store Thibodeaux said to Boudreaux, "I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You cant beat that.

Boudreaux replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing." I'll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won't even know.

So they went to the counter and Boudreaux said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see a great magic trick?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes" Boudreaux said: "Give me three chocolate bars. " The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Boudreaux ate all three. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?"

Boudreaux replied: "Look in Thibodeaux's pocket."
 
A 4 year old's first paycheck




Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her,

let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her 20 little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' drywall..."
 
A Man's Ecstasy

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again....back and forth...back and forth...in and out....in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.

Her heart was pounding.her face was flushed then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,

"OK, OK, OK!

I CAN'T park the fucking car!
 
One day, a man visits his father in the nursing home.

"How do you like it here, Dad?"

"Oh, I like it fine," He says.

"Is the food decent?"

"Oh, yeah, last night I had a nice big steak for dinner."

"Well, how are you sleeping?"

"GREAT! Every night the nurse give me a hot chocolate and viagra before bed."

"A viagra?" The son asks, confused. So, he goes out into the hall and asks the nurse, "Are you really giving him hot chocolate and viagra before bed?"

"Of course. The hot chocolate makes him go to sleep and the viagra keeps him from rolling out of bed at night."




The things I hear at work....
 
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
 
Children Writing About the Ocean

I understand when school teachers say, “students tell all” they have a wonderful mind and HEAR well..ha ha



Children Writing About the Ocean. The next time you take an
oceanography course, you will be totally prepared.



1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6 )

2 ) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't
have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson . She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful
and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she
was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't
drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the
ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my
mom. (James, age 7)
 
Funny, its ok to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish etc etc,

but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims.

The sooner we are all on same level playing field the better.




1. If you refine heroin for a living,
but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher,
but you can't afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth,
You may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand
but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two styles:
Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. If you can't think of anyone
you haven't declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television dangerous
but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones
have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against women
and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.
 
Some interesting tidbits from "Incredible But True" :



1) James Garfield, 20th Pres. of the US, could write 2 classical languages-Latin and Greek, at the same time, one with his right hand, the other with his left hand!

2) Guiseppe de Mai of Naples had two hearts that the London Academy of Medicine offered him $15,000 in 1894 to obtain his body after he died.

3) Chang and Eng, the original Siamese twins, each ran his own farm 1 mile from the other, spent 3 days of each week with one wife and the other 3 days with the other, had 22 children between them, and died within 2 hours of each other.

4) Harbo and Samuelson were the only 2 men in history who crossed the Atlantic Ocean in 1896 by rowing a boat without sail or mast. It took them 56 days from New York harbor to the Isles of Scilly, England.

5) Queen Kahena of Aures, Algeria had a harem of 400 male concubines. Her English counterpart was Theresa Vaughn, who during her trial for bigamy was discovered to have married 61 men during her 5 year-travel ( after separation from her husband) through the British Isles, Germany and South Africa.

6) Sir John Popham robbed passersby while a law student. During the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, he rose to become Chief Justice of England from 1592 until his death in 1607.

7) Sharon Adams was the first woman to sail alone across the Pacific Ocean, from Yokohama, Japan to San Diego, California, arriving there on July 26, 1969, after 74 days, 17 hrs. and 15 mins.

8) Mozart, the world's greatest musical genius, wrote a complete symphony at the age of 8, and transcribed the entire score of the lengthy, complex 'Miserere' from memory after hearing it only once. The Pope allowed its performance by the papal choir only, on pain of excommunication. But upon hearing of the feat of Mozart, he was moved by this show of genius that instead of punishing him, he bestowed upon him the Cross of the Order of the Golden Spur.

9) In Jan. 1918, Capt. J.H. Hedley, an American, fell out of his plane piloted by a Canadian pilot, when the latter made a nearly vertical dive to avoid the enemy. Incredibly, he landed on the tail of the airplane as it levelled off. He hung on to the tail until he managed to climb back into his seat.

10) While many have successfully swam the English Channel, only Antonio Abertondo, an Argentinian, has swum the Channel round trip without resting, from Dover to Calais and back to Dover on Sept. 21,1961.

11)``Louis Cyr, a Canadian, showed he was the strongest man in the world when on Dec. 20, 1891, four horses, a pair each on his left and right side, were strapped to his upper arms, and grooms urged the horses to pull.. The horses slipped and slid, but Cyr stood fast.

12) Mrs. Fyodor Vassilet of Russia (died in 1872) and Mrs. Scheinberg of Austria (died in 1911) gave birth to 69 children in 27 confinements -- both had 4 sets of quadruplets, 7 sets of triplets, and 16 pairs of twins. None had single birth.

13) A perfect game in bowling (12 successive strikes) is a rarity. But Ned Day of West Allis, Wisconsin, bowled 33 strikes in a row during an exhibition at Price Hall in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1937. This is equivalent to almost 3 perfect games in succession.

14) On May 26, 1788, Mary Clark of England gave birth to a child without a brain. The child lived only 5 days. Another such child was born in 1935 in New York City and lived for only 27 days. An autopsy revealed the head contained only water.

15) Bob Mathias of the United States was only 17 years old when he won the Olympic decathlon in Mexico City in 1968.
 
Maybe not a joke, but I think it should be.

I moved this month and my service provider is advertising DSL service nation wide. I asked for DSL, but got more expansive, higher cost service.

When I inquired as to why not DSL only, the response was this:

".....I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you have faced. I have
reviewed your account and would like to inform you that, DSL Service is
not available at your locate. Location and the existing telephone
technology at your location may limit the availability of our FastAccess
DSL technology. For instance, your telephone line must be located within
18,000 feet of the local Central Office........."

My response was this:

"Thanks for the reply. So, if I understand this correctly, the Nation Wide advertisement for DSL service is applicable only to customers within 18,000 feet of the local Central Office? That doesn't seem too bright to be advertising that service if it's so limited to proximity of a local Central Office.":cool:
 
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