BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 20, 2012
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- 2,041
Tell a Joke
- Thread starter in_oral_office
- Start date
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who
inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad..
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors
would change underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it
immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and
announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to
change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski,
and Brown, you change with
Schultz."
inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad..
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors
would change underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it
immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and
announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to
change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski,
and Brown, you change with
Schultz."
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
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BusyAfternoon
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A man wanted to get married.
He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.
He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys
several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive
for him because she loves him so much..
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer,
and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the
money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000.
She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money
Then, he married the one with the biggest Tits.
He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.
He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys
several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive
for him because she loves him so much..
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer,
and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the
money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000.
She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money
Then, he married the one with the biggest Tits.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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- 2,041
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these.
"I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
"Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep it's the golden years .
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these.
"I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
"Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep it's the golden years .
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 20, 2012
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SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping an d fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....
http://www.truthorfiction.com/images/dog1008.jpg
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.
http://www.truthorfiction.com/images/dog1008.jpg
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.
BusyAfternoon
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Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
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- 23,768
Did you know...
If you play the movie "Jaws" backward, you get a touching movie about a shark that vomited up so many people they had to open a beach?
If you play the movie "Jaws" backward, you get a touching movie about a shark that vomited up so many people they had to open a beach?
Rolando2
A Very Nice Dirty Old Man
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piccicatopolka
gypsywitch
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BossMan62
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Now thats funny as hell!!
texasace
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 1, 2008
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One of the funniest EVER!!! Ace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=viNB4WVdxgs
Wife’s Birthday Prank call
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=viNB4WVdxgs
Wife’s Birthday Prank call
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Morris
returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the
doctor has
told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the
prognosis, Morris
asks his
wife for sex.
Naturally,
she agrees, so
they make
love.
About 6
hours later, the
husband
goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you
know I now have
only 18
hours to live.
Could we
please do it one
more
time?'
Of course,
the wife agrees,
and they do
it again.
Later, as
the man gets into
bed, he
looks at his watch
and
realizes that he now has
only 8 hours
left.
He touches
his wife's
shoulder and
asks,
'Honey,
please... just one
more time
before I die.'
She says,
'Of course, Dear,'
and they
make love for the third time.
After this
session, the wife
rolls over
and falls asleep.
Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns, until he's down
to 4 more hours.
He taps his
wife, who rouses.
'Honey, I
have only 4 more hours.
Do you
think we
could...'
At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'
returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the
doctor has
told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the
prognosis, Morris
asks his
wife for sex.
Naturally,
she agrees, so
they make
love.
About 6
hours later, the
husband
goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you
know I now have
only 18
hours to live.
Could we
please do it one
more
time?'
Of course,
the wife agrees,
and they do
it again.
Later, as
the man gets into
bed, he
looks at his watch
and
realizes that he now has
only 8 hours
left.
He touches
his wife's
shoulder and
asks,
'Honey,
please... just one
more time
before I die.'
She says,
'Of course, Dear,'
and they
make love for the third time.
After this
session, the wife
rolls over
and falls asleep.
Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns, until he's down
to 4 more hours.
He taps his
wife, who rouses.
'Honey, I
have only 4 more hours.
Do you
think we
could...'
At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said.. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said.. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, 10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one had to let go otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one had to let go otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
A glass of wine
To my those who enjoy a glass of wine..
And those who don't and are always
Seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As BenFranklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of Shit..
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service
To my those who enjoy a glass of wine..
And those who don't and are always
Seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As BenFranklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of Shit..
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service
texasace
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2008
- Posts
- 1,970
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
So you're tired of the heat?
Just in case you are feeling sorry for yourself on these 90+ degree days...With humidity!
click on the Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xkk7DX0l95A
Just in case you are feeling sorry for yourself on these 90+ degree days...With humidity!
click on the Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xkk7DX0l95A
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
********************************* ********************************************
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
Blood plasma.
********************************* ******************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Oh go ahead...I'll wait...
****************************************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually
Than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )
************************************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping
Than you do watching television.
**************************************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
****************************************************************************
The first product to have a bar code
Was Wrigley's gum.
*************************************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
***************************************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive
From each salad served in first-class.
**************************************************************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?)
(That women are going the 'right' direction...?)
*********************************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,
Are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
************************************ ***********************************
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN !
************************************************************************ ****
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first ' Marlboro Man'.
***************************************************************************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
**************************************************************************
PEARLS DISSOLVE
IN VINEGAR !
*********************************************************************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser, in that order.
**********************************************************************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
But, not downstairs.
************************************************************************
A duck's quack doesn't echo,
And no one knows why.
************************************************************************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !)
***************************************************
And the best for last....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU ?)
So.......................
Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on......and go move your toothbrush !!!
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
Blood plasma.
********************************* ******************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Oh go ahead...I'll wait...
****************************************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually
Than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )
************************************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping
Than you do watching television.
**************************************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
****************************************************************************
The first product to have a bar code
Was Wrigley's gum.
*************************************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
***************************************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive
From each salad served in first-class.
**************************************************************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?)
(That women are going the 'right' direction...?)
*********************************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,
Are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
************************************ ***********************************
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN !
************************************************************************ ****
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first ' Marlboro Man'.
***************************************************************************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
**************************************************************************
PEARLS DISSOLVE
IN VINEGAR !
*********************************************************************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser, in that order.
**********************************************************************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
But, not downstairs.
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A duck's quack doesn't echo,
And no one knows why.
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Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !)
***************************************************
And the best for last....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU ?)
So.......................
Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on......and go move your toothbrush !!!
RobDownSouth
BoycotDivestSanctio
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- Apr 13, 2002
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- 78,438
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
I told this one to a group of seniors last night. It went over very well.
Nice...
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
CAN YOU NAME THIS OLD TOOL?
Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history. Can you name this strange old tool? Do you know what it is?Look below, read and learn!
http://hoptownhall.com/download/file.php?id=831&sid=bfe8becae3be5003ed35ab6a7dc1d31c
Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowin'smoke up your @ss.� It's been reintroduced in Washington , by the Obama Administration. It'll be part of the New Health Care Program.
Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history. Can you name this strange old tool? Do you know what it is?Look below, read and learn!
http://hoptownhall.com/download/file.php?id=831&sid=bfe8becae3be5003ed35ab6a7dc1d31c
Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowin'smoke up your @ss.� It's been reintroduced in Washington , by the Obama Administration. It'll be part of the New Health Care Program.
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