Tasking

[ninser]

No I just totally hate them. I don't think I get anything from them.



I am a sub

But tasks just dont seem to be part of it for me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

No I just totally hate them. I don't think I get anything from them.



I am a sub

But tasks just dont seem to be part of it for me.

What part of being a sub does satisfy you?

I am not going to tell you you're a bad sub, or anything like that, BTW. I'm just always interested in the bazillion different ways in which we all define ourselves.

 

[ninser]

Oh God there is a question.

A lot of it does a lot doesnt and it depends on my mood too. I never seem to be able to fix down what I want. I just find tasks boring. Probably cause I spend my whole day everyday doing tasks in one form or another and I dont have that much free time and I guess when I do I prefer other things than tasks. Surely I can't be the only sub that doesnt enjoy tasks?

 

[ownedsubgal]

Bolded bit = bad juju in my book.

I loathe the concept of setting others up for failure so as to 'punish' them.

If you want to whip their butt, then fricking do it already. No need to play head games.

(I'm only of this opinion because to me, those are bad head games. YMMV, whatever gets your rocks off, so on and so forth)

seconded. game playing is just not my thing, in any sort of relationship. not to mention, this sort of "game" can be emotionally devastating for submissives like myself who derive much of their sense of worth and value by how pleasing they are to others. be clear and straightforward about your desires, both to your partner and to yourself. own it, dangit.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh God there is a question.

A lot of it does a lot doesnt and it depends on my mood too. I never seem to be able to fix down what I want. I just find tasks boring. Probably cause I spend my whole day everyday doing tasks in one form or another and I dont have that much free time and I guess when I do I prefer other things than tasks. Surely I can't be the only sub that doesnt enjoy tasks?

Absolutely, and for that same reason. I would hope though, that boring tasks can be made into sex games with the right conditioning.

I asked my GF to clean our leathers, and she was real unhappy at the request. I pretty well forced her to do it, to the point of her nearly safewording. But my method was to pay a whole lot of attention to her while she did it, and it's a lot more satisfying to clean leather on your knees with daddy's fist up your whoosis than otherwise. We did more of those kinds of taskings after that.

Try washing dishes while your ankles are captured in a spreader bar with a pole ending in a buttplug, for instance... While Daddy taunts and teases you. It's nearly as much work for me as it is for her, but what the hell- I don't have so much free time either!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

seconded. game playing is just not my thing, in any sort of relationship. not to mention, this sort of "game" can be emotionally devastating for submissives like myself who derive much of their sense of worth and value by how pleasing they are to others. be clear and straightforward about your desires, both to your partner and to yourself. own it, dangit.

Exactly that.

Not to mention that continuously failing either plays right into my 'not good enough' anxieties or makes me so angry I'll lash out and tell someone to fuck off.

It's not conducive to my relationship.

I'll admit, that sometimes failure is good. If I've honestly tried and something hasn't worked out, then we look at that, and make adjustments.

 

[ninser]

Absolutely, and for that same reason. I would hope though, that boring tasks can be made into sex games with the right conditioning.

I asked my GF to clean our leathers, and she was real unhappy at the request. I pretty well forced her to do it, to the point of her nearly safewording. But my method was to pay a whole lot of attention to her while she did it, and it's a lot more satisfying to clean leather on your knees with daddy's fist up your whoosis than otherwise. We did more of those kinds of taskings after that.

Try washing dishes while your ankles are captured in a spreader bar with a pole ending in a buttplug, for instance... While Daddy taunts and teases you. It's nearly as much work for me as it is for her, but what the hell- I don't have so much free time either!

LOL those kinda tasks I might get into!!!!

 

[Bette_coquette]

Here's one I came up with that turned out to be funny for the both of us. When I say the word "hole," he has to open his mouth wide. He has to leave it open until I say "release." Today we're driving through town and he's yapping about who-knows-what. I said "hole" and he popped open his mouth. He tried to kind of close it up when we'd come to a traffic light and the people in the cars next to us would stare. I'd tell him to open wider, which he did.

I started to laugh 'cause I could tell he felt ridiculous. He started to giggle and before you know it we're both cracking up and he's doing his best to keep his mouth open and keep a straight face.

It was both fun and funny, which is what keeps the both of us so happy in this relationship. Heck, if you can't have fun, what's the point?