Tangerine Panties - Anal Sex Story

[SteamyChik]

Please read and let me know what you think. Thank you!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=74981

 

[Xodus]

Nice work, SteamyChik
I really didn't think I would stick with it when I realized you were a female writing in first person as a male.
The more I read, the better it got.

 

[SteamyChik]

Thanks! I could, and maybe should, have approached it as a female/female. Then again, it was fun writing it from a woman's perception of the male perspective. Does that make sense? LOL

 

[NorthwestRain]

You write very well, I sometimes judge stories on a masturbatory chart, such as how hard I get, whether or not I come etc. Other times, I judge purely on writing talent, style and skill.
Your story made me hard, kept my interest and made me want to read more of your work. (masturbatory)
Certain mistakes I found.
Omnipotence -
I demanded, popping her clit back and forth under my fingers causing jets of pleasure to radiate from that delicate button.
-How would he know that?

Also a couple of tiny tense errors, both on page 2.

And this one: was to delicious to pass up (typo?)

Other than that, a great read and a well paced storyline.
Hope I helped you out a little.
If you'd like to return the favour....

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=41742

 

[trendyredhead]

Very nice indeed

I really liked the way you focused on the tangerine panties initially, although i found it hard to believe a man would characterize them as anything but orange. however, it was a great visual and got me hooked early.

the buildup was very nice -- i much prefer a little mind game early on as part of the foreplay for the reader, and you did this well. I found myself telling her "no, don't go, you don't have to do this, Ali!" but at the same time knew she would (of course).

The sex was great - and kept me very wet, I might add.

A few typos (messaging vs massaging, along w/ others previously mentioned), but there weren't so many that it was overly distracting.

All in all, a job well done!

Anyone who is interested (shameless plug) can read mine as well:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=96256

trendyredhead

 

[pet petra]

I truly enjoyed your story. I'm just learning the art of anal play and that story was exiting! Great job!! Petra

 

[rollielav]

enjoyed tangerine panties. The title piqued my interest, and the writing style kept me wondering where it would end up. good job!

 

[HarleydevilzoN]

woopss... made a mess .... definitely a keeper