Take my Subbie, please.

[Farblat_Ieem]

It’s not unusual for bdsm stories to include situations where the submissive is commanded to give sexual service to people other than the dominant, often anyone who wants the sub. Sometimes in fantasy they are given or sold to other to ‘own’. I have no real life experience with swinging or groups beyond threesomes but I don’t see it as a practical fantasy. Do you?

Is sharing a submissive something that can work for sub and dominant and even for the ‘guests’? Have you found yourself in any of these roles?

I would really like to hear back from people with real experience to know if it was a positive thing for them. Anyone have tried and true ideas for making this sort of play work? Any cautionary tales?

I’d also welcome feedback from people who fantasize about these scenes. What would you do with someone else’s submissive if you were given a fairly free reign? Do you prefer group scenes or to be alone with the submissive. If you were the submissive being shared, what would you hope/hate to be forced to experience?

I want to get opinions if this is really a widespread fantasy. Do people think it can be enjoyed in real life without strong negative consequences? Mostly I want to read a lot of juicy ideas

Thanks.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Works for us but is not adviseable if those inolved are not sure of what they are doing and why, have any insecurity issues, or don't have a set of ground rules..most especially when beginning to experiment.

Catalina

 

[rosco rathbone]

This is my number one untried fantasy. I want to watch oral servitude be given to another man at my bidding. That just seems like the hottest.

 

[landcruisergal]

I was once asked to recruit a young man, so my master could watch me service him.
I dont know if this is the same as what you were asking.
The lad was bdsm curious, and due to his age had been unable to find a sub to play with, although he had a couple of experiances, with older subs, he wanted to learn more as he felt pretty unsatisfied with his previous attempts.
So my master offered to show him how he treated me, and how i was expected to behave etc. It was a bit like show and tell.
My master asked me to do things and then told me to do the same to the boy.
He had all the equipment and toys to try on me, and my master demonstrated techniques. What was most interesting from my point of view, that my master paid particular attention to explaining what to watch in me, how to gauge my reactions, how to manipulate my senses.When to slow, when to stop, when to increase intensity.To listen to my breathing, watch my skin flush, etc., to watch my pussy, feel it, etc. To control and work me into a state of intense need, to the point I would do anything for release.
It was very strange. Unlike other vanilla 3 somes, this was very clinical and i definitely felt objectified.The boy was a very serious lad and behaved impecably.
He was by no means gentle or less savage in his use of me than my master.
But he did ask for the opportunity to bathe me afterwards, and was granted permission to do so.
It was bizarre. My master was pleased with my behaviour, and said that he was just testing to see how I handled it, more than wanting to watch another man use me.
And the boy..... we had lunch a few months back, and he's still serious, and still grateful.And asked if at anytime I was released he would take me on as a sub.
Um, he's 23 now.

 

[serijules]

D has allowed my mouth and ass to be used by others for her pleasure. I enjoy it a lot...I get very nervous that my body will do something crazy and I'll be embarassed, but other than that, it is very hot to be used like that, and especially hot to know that my owner is entertained by it.

The only hard part about it really was not having D right by me...she was sitting on the couch watching while the man and I were on the bed. That was unnerving for me...I would rather have had her closer to me, as I didn't know the man at all. I trusted him because I knew she would never put me in danger and she knew him well, but I felt a very strong urge to be able to see her or feel her touch.

 

[Perempt]

takinng Anoher's sub

As a male Dom, I have no desire to use Another's sub temporarily. My only interest is long term,shaping the sub as I want her.

However, seeing how many GOOD Master/slave relationships break-up...often because of eternl factors...I would like to see more Masters offer their subs for adoption. This would seem to Me a far better fate for the sub than just cutting the sub loose, which is often a very cruel blow, sometimes driving the sub out of the lifestyle.

Now and then you see Master ffer a slave or sub to a Dom.me He interviews. That is His right, of course. but it would not interest Me to apply to another Dom to take a slave.

My preference would be this...when a Master and slave know that they must part, they postt an ad that the sub will be available, the Master is in agreement that the slave should find a new Dom, and invite inquiries. Interested Msters would correspond with tthesub dealing with likes, interests, limits etc, and the sub would decide Whom to serve, with the advice and inputt of tthe present Master. This would be an unhurried process with ...if possible...face to face sessions. When the sub decides, the new Master takes the sub with the former Master's blessing.

If the old relationship must dissolve before the sub choooses the new Dom>e, at least the sub has agroup of interested Dom/mes to interact with, a far better fate than to be released coldly.

 

[curiousjen]

I found owen browsing the trailers on bangmywife.com

He had an evil look in his eye.

I'll keep you posted

 

[jasonlf]

I was once asked to recruit a young man, so my master could watch me service him.
I dont know if this is the same as what you were asking.
The lad was bdsm curious, and due to his age had been unable to find a sub to play with, although he had a couple of experiances, with older subs, he wanted to learn more as he felt pretty unsatisfied with his previous attempts.
So my master offered to show him how he treated me, and how i was expected to behave etc. It was a bit like show and tell.
My master asked me to do things and then told me to do the same to the boy.
He had all the equipment and toys to try on me, and my master demonstrated techniques. What was most interesting from my point of view, that my master paid particular attention to explaining what to watch in me, how to gauge my reactions, how to manipulate my senses.When to slow, when to stop, when to increase intensity.To listen to my breathing, watch my skin flush, etc., to watch my pussy, feel it, etc. To control and work me into a state of intense need, to the point I would do anything for release.
It was very strange. Unlike other vanilla 3 somes, this was very clinical and i definitely felt objectified.The boy was a very serious lad and behaved impecably.
He was by no means gentle or less savage in his use of me than my master.
But he did ask for the opportunity to bathe me afterwards, and was granted permission to do so.
It was bizarre. My master was pleased with my behaviour, and said that he was just testing to see how I handled it, more than wanting to watch another man use me.
And the boy..... we had lunch a few months back, and he's still serious, and still grateful.And asked if at anytime I was released he would take me on as a sub.
Um, he's 23 now.

Heh. Can't I be so lucky?

 

[h_i_s]

It was very strange. ...... very clinical and i definitely felt objectified. ......
He was by no means gentle or less savage in his use of me than my master.
.... My master was pleased with my behaviour, and said that he was just testing to see how I handled it, more than wanting to watch another man use me.

Perhaps strange ... but no doubt, very hot, intriguing even (speaking specifically of those points which i've outlined in the quote of your post shown above).
It's definitely a plus that [it seems] a good friendship developed as a result. Win/win situation .. kewl.

 

[MechaBlade]

This is my number one untried fantasy. I want to watch oral servitude be given to another man at my bidding. That just seems like the hottest.

I agree. The problem is you have to have
1. enough trust in her to perform
2. enough love from her/the right john so that she won't be disgusted/hate you forever.

I don't think I'll ever be able to make a sub fuck/suck someone else. The farthest I predict I'll ever get is for her to make her flash some other man/woman. Which would also be pretty awesome.

 

[TaintedB]

I agree. The problem is you have to have
1. enough trust in her to perform
2. enough love from her/the right john so that she won't be disgusted/hate you forever.

I don't think I'll ever be able to make a sub fuck/suck someone else. The farthest I predict I'll ever get is for her to make her flash some other man/woman. Which would also be pretty awesome.

Well, you know there are subs and then there are subs. For some of us, if the other guy _wasn't_ disgusting, it wouldn't be very hot, and while we might not hate our primary partner forever for shoving some young-ish (or even middle-aged) superficially attractive smooth-skinned dude on us (yawn), we might start to get a bit bored with him.

Back to the original subject, it's interesting how a lot of dominants seem to feel strongly one way or the other on this issue. Some see this as very hot, some are absolutely not into sharing. My last and only owner was into sharing and watching, particularly for the humilation aspects (for me, not for him--he wasn't exactly a cuckold type, lol) but sometimes just because he knew it was natural for all people, even we pure and innocent submissives, to get the hots for someone else and he saw nothing wrong with that, but he also saw it as just another of a wide range of fun things to do--it didn't achieve major fetish value with him.

 

[landcruisergal]

I was obviously hesitant, but my master manipulated the situation....

Part of the challenge was for me to negotiate with the 3rd party, to offer myself. It was very humiliating as I was much older and seriously doubted I would be able to "pull".It had to be someone under 25.
But it empowered me when I did and it gave me confidence.
I got to choose a cute young boy, whom I felt I could trust.

If its something you wish to try with a sub, set her the challenge...
She will do her best to choose well and ulitimately choose a person she can feel comfortable with, finds attractive, and her performance will be better.

If you choose for her,and choose someone she may be uncomfortable with,
you may be setting her up to fail....it all depends on your intent.

 

[YinandYang]

I wonder if this is one of those situations where something needs to be tried before you can acertain any feelings? I reckon it would be impossible to gage how someone would react in a hypothetical situation.

Many of my fantasies have revolved around performing some sex act on another at the instruction of my SO, but in reality I think he wouldn't like it and neither would I as I would be worrying what he was thinking.

 

[Softouch911]

I wonder if this is one of those situations where something needs to be tried before you can acertain any feelings? I reckon it would be impossible to gage how someone would react in a hypothetical situation.

Many of my fantasies have revolved around performing some sex act on another at the instruction of my SO, but in reality I think he wouldn't like it and neither would I as I would be worrying what he was thinking.

Yes. And as a result, I'm a little leery of indulging the fantasy.

I'm either wise or way too much of a control freak.

Did jealousy ever become a factor? I'm thinking it could be an ugly little surprise.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I wonder if this is one of those situations where something needs to be tried before you can acertain any feelings? I reckon it would be impossible to gage how someone would react in a hypothetical situation.

Many of my fantasies have revolved around performing some sex act on another at the instruction of my SO, but in reality I think he wouldn't like it and neither would I as I would be worrying what he was thinking.

These are just some of the reasons you need to do lots of talking before hand, know each other well, and set guidelines as well as prepare for the unexpected....and talk openly afterward as well. Sometimes it is a matter of finding what elements have to be present in the scene to make it acceptable, what is going to work for those involved, and define what the intent is....for me that is necessary to understand before I can freely let go at this point. The control factor can be exercised significantly for the Dominant who indulges in these scenes.....control does not just limit itself to exclusive use of the one you love, but can limit who can use them, how and when in a way which can emphasise the power of ownership in a way which leaves no room for imagining the submissive has freedom of choice or will.

Catalina

 

[serijules]

D and I didn't discuss it much beforehand. I had shared the fantasy once, she asked me casually if that were to actually happen, would I willingly submit to it? I said yes. That was about all we ever said on the subject.

The next time I visited, a few days into the visit I woke up with a strange man in the apartment and an order to undress and entertain her.

The hottest part about the whole thing was the LACK of control and discussion and warning I had. I felt very much owned. Although I HAD consented to such a scene some time before it happened, I really really did not expect that it ever would, and my "consent" didn't really impact her making the decision.

Not saying that talking isn't important in this type of scene, but in some relationships, it isn't necessary or even proper. Not for everyone, that's for sure.

On another thought...I admittedly get a bit insulted by some that take the stance of "I would/could NEVER watch my sub fuck another/be fucked by another! I'm SO devoted to my partner to ever do such a thing!". D and I are no less devoted to one another because this fantasy works for us in reality. She is actually very posessive of me...but she also is secure enough in herself and in me as her slave to know that such a session would have zero impact on our devotion to one another. Not to say that those that have no desire to do such a thing are not secure in their relationships, but sometimes the attitude that comes across is that they don't think those that ARE interested in such a thing are just as secure.

D sharing me with another does not mean in any way that she is giving me or even borrowing me to them. It means there is another person involved in the scene for her enjoyment and pleasure. She's possessive, but not possessive enough to deny herself something that highly entertains her.

 

[catalina_francisco]

D and I didn't discuss it much beforehand. I had shared the fantasy once, she asked me casually if that were to actually happen, would I willingly submit to it? I said yes. That was about all we ever said on the subject.

The next time I visited, a few days into the visit I woke up with a strange man in the apartment and an order to undress and entertain her.

The hottest part about the whole thing was the LACK of control and discussion and warning I had. I felt very much owned. Although I HAD consented to such a scene some time before it happened, I really really did not expect that it ever would, and my "consent" didn't really impact her making the decision.

Not saying that talking isn't important in this type of scene, but in some relationships, it isn't necessary or even proper. Not for everyone, that's for sure.

On another thought...I admittedly get a bit insulted by some that take the stance of "I would/could NEVER watch my sub fuck another/be fucked by another! I'm SO devoted to my partner to ever do such a thing!". D and I are no less devoted to one another because this fantasy works for us in reality. She is actually very posessive of me...but she also is secure enough in herself and in me as her slave to know that such a session would have zero impact on our devotion to one another. Not to say that those that have no desire to do such a thing are not secure in their relationships, but sometimes the attitude that comes across is that they don't think those that ARE interested in such a thing are just as secure.

D sharing me with another does not mean in any way that she is giving me or even borrowing me to them. It means there is another person involved in the scene for her enjoyment and pleasure. She's possessive, but not possessive enough to deny herself something that highly entertains her.

I think for us, if I didn't have issues with women, it would have been much easier to have gone into such a scene with a woman without much discussion, partly because it is not the same gender matching as our own relationship so in some ways would have had few issues for us apart from the unknown partner factor.....for me the things I needed to feel secure about first to be able to safely go through with such a scene with another man was first to know he was not doing it because he felt it was something I wanted/needed that he could not give me, and that if any issues arose for either of us (psychological, emotional or physical), that we would not blame the other but deal with it together for as long as was necessary.

Like you, I too have picked up on a judgement from some that Dominants who share their subs/slave in scenes, and the sub/slaves who comply, do not have as deep a relationship and commitment as those who do not. I think it comes from an assumption that the main reason it is done is because their is a devaluing of their own sub in the Dominant's eyes, or it is an excuse for sex with others. For us the sex is not the aim though it is the means, and it takes a deep commitment and security to be able to play in such a way without fallout. As F has said, he was never with a sub before who he felt he could trust in such a way, nor enjoy the factors in play brought about by my not being wired to have casual sex just for the sake of having sex. Lends itself to some interesting scenarios.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

oh the sex is the reason I share M with others. Cheap, tawdry, casual, inane sex. Sometimes anyway.

And I consider myself no less committed to him, in fact it reinforces my commitment in every possible nice way.

I've thrown him to both boys and girls, girls seem to be much harder for him to deal with, but he sucks up and makes me happy.

 

[catalina_francisco]

oh the sex is the reason I share M with others. Cheap, tawdry, casual, inane sex. Sometimes anyway.

And I consider myself no less committed to him, in fact it reinforces my commitment in every possible nice way.

I've thrown him to both boys and girls, girls seem to be much harder for him to deal with, but he sucks up and makes me happy.

LOL, sex is involved and for the purpose of it all, but not in a sense of giving me pleasure solely from the sexual act so to speak.....if that were the purpose and outcome he would get bored...he says he doesn't mind if I enjoy it though, just it is not where the main focus is. Casual sex I had a plenty when it was my choice to do so, but it always left me feeling something was missing....now that can be an advantage,

Catalina

 

[Private_Label]

I’d also welcome feedback from people who fantasize about these scenes.

I'm in a cyber D/s situation with a friend. He brings it up a lot how he would like to see me with other people ~ for him to watch. As a strict fantasy it's ok, but there is a part of myself that I believe (at this point lacking any experience in the situation) that it would be difficult for me to perform in that situation, I want to focus on the person that I am committed to, plus if I were to play with someone else, I would need to have some good feelings for the person. That's what would make me a bit hesitant. I wouldn't want someone that I like to develop an interest in me while I am with someone else, and I wouldn't want to do anything that might tempt me away from my chosen partner.

I got a lot of love in me, and I wouldn't want to accidently set up a power struggle.

I guess the key to this is a lot of honest open discussion about the relationship ahead of time ~ if not the specifics of "sharing" then at least the limits each has that can't be crossed without discussion before the situation arises.

D and I didn't discuss it much beforehand. I had shared the fantasy once, she asked me casually if that were to actually happen, would I willingly submit to it? I said yes. That was about all we ever said on the subject.

While the saying goes "it is easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission," sometimes it is better to be certain that you will be forgiven.

 

[serijules]

While the saying goes "it is easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission," sometimes it is better to be certain that you will be forgiven.

'

Perhaps, but in our relationship, that point in this example would be moot. She knows me well enough to know if I would honestly have serious issues with something she decides to do, and since she cares about my well being, she would likely not do them. I have utmost faith that she would never put me or herself in that position. Very little "play" in our relationship requires negotiation and discussion and permission and reassurance of forgiveness...it requires total submission from me, responsibility from her, and faith in one another. Forgiveness, should it be necessary at some point, is a given.

Not to say we don't communicate...just that in regards to playing or sceneing, that isn't an area where we sit down and negotiate or whatnot. It works for us, I don't think it would work well for everyone.

 

[Netzach]

'

Perhaps, but in our relationship, that point in this example would be moot. She knows me well enough to know if I would honestly have serious issues with something she decides to do, and since she cares about my well being, she would likely not do them. I have utmost faith that she would never put me or herself in that position. Very little "play" in our relationship requires negotiation and discussion and permission and reassurance of forgiveness...it requires total submission from me, responsibility from her, and faith in one another. Forgiveness, should it be necessary at some point, is a given.

Not to say we don't communicate...just that in regards to playing or sceneing, that isn't an area where we sit down and negotiate or whatnot. It works for us, I don't think it would work well for everyone.

And surprises are so nice, aren't they? M still needs lots of coaxing and a sense of what's gonna happen going in, but I think with time and patience I might get him to the point where surprises are more fun than that last little grasping for control.

 

[serijules]

And surprises are so nice, aren't they? M still needs lots of coaxing and a sense of what's gonna happen going in, but I think with time and patience I might get him to the point where surprises are more fun than that last little grasping for control.

Oh I still have those moments for sure...I don't like surprises, I'm a stickler for always knowing what is going on. There are times I've had a complete meltdown over not knowing what it going on around me; that comes from my hearing loss and always feeling left out or lost. But...I have been learning lol, and once I focus on what a nice display of submission my willingness and eagerness to please her is and sink into that feeling of being utterly used and controlled like that, I have a much easier time of it. The fact that she is not letting me have all the info and warning and prep time that I would like and is training me to put her pleasure and her desires before my own discomfort is a thrill on its own.

Once I cross that line from "oh geez, I'm worried, I'm unsure, what if I can't do this, I don't WANT to do this..." into "I know my willingness to please despite my own misgivings is noticed and appreciated and makes her proud so I'm going to perform as well as I damn well can."....all I can say is WOW. That is a very intense feeling, to submit on that level, and that along with making her proud and pleasing her to that extreme is what makes me actually at times crave to be put in that position. I'm very much a worry-er, and it is a bit of a relief to not be allowed to worry.

 

[Farblat_Ieem]

Oh I still have those moments for sure...I don't like surprises, I'm a stickler for always knowing what is going on. There are times I've had a complete meltdown over not knowing what it going on around me; that comes from my hearing loss and always feeling left out or lost. But...I have been learning lol, and once I focus on what a nice display of submission my willingness and eagerness to please her is and sink into that feeling of being utterly used and controlled like that, I have a much easier time of it. The fact that she is not letting me have all the info and warning and prep time that I would like and is training me to put her pleasure and her desires before my own discomfort is a thrill on its own.

Once I cross that line from "oh geez, I'm worried, I'm unsure, what if I can't do this, I don't WANT to do this..." into "I know my willingness to please despite my own misgivings is noticed and appreciated and makes her proud so I'm going to perform as well as I damn well can."....all I can say is WOW. That is a very intense feeling, to submit on that level, and that along with making her proud and pleasing her to that extreme is what makes me actually at times crave to be put in that position. I'm very much a worry-er, and it is a bit of a relief to not be allowed to worry.

and all I can say is WOW!

Thanks for the excellent insight.