switching: would you?

[DVS]

Vulpesvulpes: sound like my bf abit. hes very eager to please me. would do almost anything I want I'm sure.. but only when he feels like it lol we arent into anything as extreme as some in this forum I came here to learn about stuff. If I wasnt shy I could have so much fun with him. OH well gotta work on that hehe

Pixie, being a shy sub is very sexy to a Dom. Don't worry too much about changing that. And, if that AV is you, you have more than shyness in your favor.

If you want to dominate him, you might suggest he be tied to the bed and then give him head, while he watches, helplessly. Don't let him cum when he wants to, but make it last a long time.

Be creative with it. Dim the lights and light some candles, if you want. You might even get some fruit to feed him to help pass the time. Also, chocolate sauce to cover his cock to add to his visual sensations. Watching you lick it off should drive him crazy. Also, small ice cubes in your mouth to add to his physical sensations. Your hot mouth would contrast with the cold ice cubes. And, you can use one as a sensation toy on his more sensitive areas, too.

If you want, a blindfold will help with your battle with shyness. He won't be able to look you in the eye and intimidate you. Then, only you will know what is going to happen. This should also be interesting for him, not knowing what you might do, next.

If he is a switch, he may be shy about it, too. It might take some experimentation to bring it out of him. If he likes being helpless while you do these above things, that is a beginning. It is not such a submissive act to be tied to the bed. Even vanillas do that, these days.

After you both get used to your new roles, you can then expand on them. One of you has to make the effort. And, if it doesn't work out, at least you may have given him some interesting ideas for tying you to the bed, next time.

 

[DVS]

OK, from that last post, you might assume I am a switch. No. Oh sure, there are small thoughts down deep in my mind about it, but they are largely overpowered by my strong dominant self.

I do think I could sub to the right woman at the right time, but that is not likely to happen. The window of opportunity is very small. I love the dominant role very much.

I do have the ability to sense what goes through a submissive's mind, as I think any good dominant should have. It is very helpful when useing those submissive thoughts against them.

So, I guess I am 99.5% dominant, and .5% submissive. OK, Ebonyfire, put that strap-on away!

 

[cellis]

Ok I do consider myself a switch, but it is conditional. I cannot see Himself ever submitting to me. That just will not happen in our relationship and I don't want it to....

However, I do have a thing for girls... I love the thought of them at my feet, their willingness to serve me and be used by me... I have had a few occassions to work this out with Himself being there as well. Of course, being a hetro male, He loves the idea of me with other women, so it all works out for us.

 

[WynEternal]

Just a story if anyone's interested

The first time Mistress wanted me to play with a female sub, I froze. Yes, literally, I stood there, not what I was doing, why I was doing it, and how I was going to do it. At the time, I think I was still struggling with my thoughts on my attraction to other women (which is still considerably less than how men catch my eye). I was let off the hook, but she knew that It was still something I wanted to do.

The next time, was with a male sub who decided he wanted to arrive an hour earlier the time she and his Mistress directed him to be there. I was directed by both Mistresses on the phone to "ready" him, but nothing involving pain. As I was giving him a "mind fuck" I would walk out of earshot and call them on the phone to report the progress. At one point, I had him believing that they had arrive and was talking to me as I greeted them.

I really hadn't done anything to him other than tease his skin, his eyes (before they were blindfolded), and let his mind wander in a direction I was leading him to. Right before the Mistresses arrived, they told me to bring him down from where his mind was. It was increadible. An hour of playing with his mind and his sense of touch (I never did touch his genitals), he was sweating with a hard-on. A few minutes after I had brought him back down, the Mistresses arrived. He said that it was one of the most increadible things he'd ever experience and was grinning from ear to ear.

It was an awesome feeling of control and sensuality. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was so different than being the one who submits and yet, as fulfilling.

 

[DVS]

However, I do have a thing for girls... I love the thought of them at my feet, their willingness to serve me and be used by me... I have had a few occassions to work this out with Himself being there as well. Of course, being a hetro male, He loves the idea of me with other women, so it all works out for us.

Ummm, that sounds like an interesting situation to watch. I like watching women dominate other women. They seem to know just what to do, if you know what I mean.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

DVS: been there accidently and tore his cock.. wow I wasnt even there!!! what an accomplishment LOL was a missunderstanding LOL I had suspeciongs.. when I tell him a story that he waits to cum till I finish my story.. till he cums in my story.. but I had no idea really I wasnt sure. so I was gettting frustrated after 2 hours I keept waiting for him to cum I was like gawd.. he finally spoke up "are you teasing me or something? I'm starting to hurt" I was SOOO not teasing him!! so not intentional.. ended up talking to him after. he said after a year I should have known.. I knew but I guess I didnt want to accept it or something LMAO he said "when you tell a story.. its YOUR story. you lead 99% of the time" well geez.. when it comes down to it he rubbed himself so much that he came so hard that he tore his cock.. all because I didnt mention to cum.. I cried so hard I didnt mean for this to happen.. He didnt seem too mad. He said it was a missunderstanding and that next time I wonder to just ask and be blunt about it. How do you ask someone "do you wait till I say to cum to cum?" I mean LOL you cant ask that.. and hes for sure not like that in person with this only online when I tell him a story LOL cause he says "its YOUR story"
as for blind fold LOL nah.. I just dont wear my glasses cant see anything.. I actually thought about tying his hands up and give him a head.. but not sure if hed cooperate LOL I mean its nothing extreme and i think would be fun.. and hed be my victim hehe but would he cooperate.. I think I have a few more tests to do on him first.. but i need to find the guts first.. and as for the licking stuff up.. see cause we cant be together for valentines day.. we are gonna give each other a night of passion dedicated to pleasing the other person. I have no idea what he plans for me and he wont tell me. I know it involves kissing and holding and massage.. I asked him what he wanted.. to give me ideas. I saved what he said which is "hmm i cant say exactly but, something where you are in complete charge (not domineering) more like giving. after all it is your present and your ideas hehe i am just the recipiant" well I am building a plan.. I am thinking of smearing his nipples with honey and licking it all off. unfortunally because I cant walk I will need to ask him to get the honey for me LOL but still wont know what I will do with the honey so doesnt really spoil the plan on that. yeah and I Am the one that has to make the effort LOL it is not so much in my nature. I use to be really bosy and such. But I ended up being bed ridden for 5 years and then having a terrible year after.. I had zero control over those 5 years.. It broke me. as for giving him ideas for tying me up next time LMAO he has yet to do that. LOL I do know he wants to do a little more extreme things this visit. but he wont tell me anything and I know better then nag him.. I just am puzzled we did so much last time.. something he didnt do that sounded interesting.. He was suppose to blind fold me and touch me with different kinds of materials and if I guessed wrong I'd get ice on my nipples and if I guessed right I'd get them sucked hehe I was slightly disapointed that he didnt do this. thank you for the advice you pretty much gave me ideas I already had LOL

 

[Pixie Mischief]

BTW yes the av is me hehe there is alot to my problem with bf LOL
mostly on my thread but I believe I posted another post on this thread about it. Rather humerous. I have yet to figure out why I attrack men like this LOL my ex I never met him glad I didnt but I cared about him even if I didnt meet him.. anyway I Got tired of his bullshit and excuses. very odd I dont know why I attract this.. LOL he was like "soo.. gonna tie me up and smack me around?" I was like UH? He was a liar when I first met him he claimed to be a virgin and then went on later on bragging about how his ex handcuffed him to a pipe in the basement and smacked his cock and stuff. I was like and then a guy in the bar well hes dead now.. keept asking me to smack his ass. I Was like NO LOL I just keep attracting this. At least bf doesnt mind being agreesive.. I had a talk with him.. he says he likes 50/50 control. he likes it when girls are agreesive and if they have an idea to just try them. cause he does so. (I can attest to that!! LOL doesnt ask my opinion just goes for it)

 

[DVS]

DVS: been there accidently and tore his cock...
when it comes down to it he rubbed himself so much that he came so hard that he tore his cock.. all because I didnt mention to cum.. I cried so hard I didnt mean for this to happen.. He didnt seem too mad. He said it was a missunderstanding and that next time I wonder to just ask and be blunt about it. How do you ask someone "do you wait till I say to cum to cum?" I mean LOL you cant ask that...

First off, let me say OUCH! The word torn when talking about my cock is not fun. And, don't think you can't tell him when not to cum. Sure, you can. You just tell him "don't cum until I say you can." Then you both know what is going on. Don't be so shy that it causes problems between you. I think he would like you to take charge a little, from what you are saying.

as for blind fold LOL nah.. I just dont wear my glasses cant see anything.. I actually thought about tying his hands up and give him a head.. but not sure if hed cooperate LOL I mean its nothing extreme and i think would be fun.. and hed be my victim hehe but would he cooperate.. I think I have a few more tests to do on him first.. but i need to find the guts first..

Sure, take your time. But, add a little more each time you play, and watch his reactions. I bet you will be suprised. I was terribly shy, many years ago, but I forced myself to get over it. No, it wasn't easy, but it was the best thing I ever did, as far as my sex life is concerned. Trust me.

and as for the licking stuff up.. see cause we cant be together for valentines day.. we are gonna give each other a night of passion dedicated to pleasing the other person. I have no idea what he plans for me and he wont tell me. I know it involves kissing and holding and massage.. I asked him what he wanted.. to give me ideas. I saved what he said which is "hmm i cant say exactly but, something where you are in complete charge (not domineering) more like giving. after all it is your present and your ideas hehe i am just the recipiant" well I am building a plan.. I am thinking of smearing his nipples with honey and licking it all off. unfortunally because I cant walk I will need to ask him to get the honey for me LOL but still wont know what I will do with the honey so doesnt really spoil the plan on that.

Honey sounds like a good idea to me. And why stop at his nipples? Put some on his cock and plunge your mouth down onto it. Your face glistening of honey would be something to see, I bet. I can see it now...you licking and sucking, and him watching your tongue following the lines of his chest an stomach...from a man's point of view, it sounds like a wonderful plan! I hope you have fun.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

DVS LMAO I NEVER told him to not cum untill I said so LMAO I NEVER did LOL well at week later it was healed. I Was relieved I mean it was valentines day I wanted to have fun LOL what happens is I tell him a story.. and in my story I write like "as he pushes deep into me.. he cums.. I moan feeling him spasm inside me" he waits till then to cum. till he does in the story.. and last night on the phone. First I need to say I have GREAT trouble cumming with someone else.. and him going "Cum for me" and blah blah doesnt help LOL I'm not sure what my problem is. he says I need to learn to let go and just chill. anyway he was refusing to cum till I do LMAO I have no idea how he has great control over when he comes when he jerks off I have NO idea. but right when I was cumming he did to. As for adding thats what he does with me hehe I'm fragile and 4 foot.. he was saying that when he was here at first he was gentle but he added abit more preasure and more and more over time. he said he doesnt like to just throw everything at once.. and I could swear maybe its in my head but at the end I could swear he was rougher on my nipples then at first. maybe its in my head LOL.
He says It would be easier for me to get into masterbation with him on the phone and stuff if I was to say what I Wanted.. and the likes.. he keept asking me to tell him what I Wanted LOL all I managed to do was giggle LMAO I'm pretty pathetic LOL and I know I need to get over being shy. and not for him. But for me. He said we would work on it. Doesnt happen over night. I cant do what he wants LMAO which is stuff like grab him and say "FUCK ME!" hed just LOVE that. so... honey it is then *Grins* tastey kisses to LOL he loves honey.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

hmm I need to ask him if he was bluffing about no masterabing for 2 weeks before he gets here.. He has to be kidding.. the not aloud only when we play which is once a week.. is already hard on me.. 2 weeks??? I knew hed ask that of me.. he better be bluffing.. unfortunally he doesnt bluff.. I kinda went silent on the phone LOL he was like "if I can do it. so can you" better be bluffing. I hope

 

[lark sparrow]

I don't know of any officialish statistics, but I can tell you that the local scene is heavily populated with MDom/fsub heteros, FDomme lesbians, and the perpetually lonely msub heteros. The gay leather (male) scene tends to keep its distance, for whatever reason. Switches of any stripe are a distinct minority, and true switches (without a preference for one side or the other) are all but unheard of on the local munch circuit.

I've also noticed a distinct tendency for people to dismiss switches in much the same way that the gay community dismisses bisexuals--as though one isn't sufficiently sub or Dom/me to truly understand or experience either side, just because one spends time on both ends of the spectrum. If you were to trust the unspoken hierarchy of munch group & other internal community politics, you probably wouldn't be led to expect that Switches are of any real value to the community. In my opinion, that kind of attitude just sucks.

I guess that means I'm special or something.

RisiaSkye
Lifestyle Switch

Thanks for the first-hand insight, Risia - your posts are always appreciated! I too have often heard the theory that Switches (and bisexuals for that matter) are simply undecided and in transition to a more stable and less flexible existence.

 

[DVS]

so... honey it is then *Grins* tastey kisses to LOL he loves honey.

sounds like he is going to have two kinds of honey that night.
And, yes, you need to let go and chill. It will come with time.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

I haven't had anydesires to switch.

However, I may let a certain someone have her way with me.


*wink and grin*


kgboot
aka "M. Bootie"

 

[Pixie Mischief]

sounds like he is going to have two kinds of honey that night.
And, yes, you need to let go and chill. It will come with time.

thats what he says but not so easy. Especially when hes saying "cum for me cum hard" on and on saying how he wants me to cum LOL You know I have no idea how hes established so much control on when he cums when he masterbates. MAybe its because he is a guy.
and honey thats going to be fun.. we are not doing each on the same night. since we are dedicating ourself to pleasing the other person. So one day him and the other day me.. He seems to want to give me his present to me first.
I still need to figure out ideas other then licking honey off of him LOL

 

[~ Emmeline ~]

I have no desire to 'switch'... but I am always willing to explore any desire that He might bring to the table. Even then, however, my happiness would still come from providing pleasure in serving His needs. In general, I love to learn new ways in which I may intensify His pleasure. How wonderful just to be a part of that.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I'm a bottomy switch.
He is a top domanant.


I only get to push people around in my stories. (expect more of this)

 

[MaxwellKing]

I believe myself to be a switch but I need to find the right partner to confirm it.

I've only had one partner and we don't really do too much. More or less just straight sex. I would like to try other things but can't really bring them up. I just feel uncomfortable at times. I would like to find a partner who has a bit more experience and could show me some of the ropes. But I don't know any people like that and I don't do the club scenes.

 

[Richard49]

I am a Dom
I have been a Dom forever

Except the year I trained
That year convinced me I am a Dom with no submissivnes in me

No I do not switch

 

[Guest]

 

[Ebonyfire]

We're a switch couple with a 50/50 split on who tops who. We cover everything from mild to extremely wild. Occasionaly I'll confuse the hell out of her and let her think that she is going to be my Domme for the evening and then when she just gets comfortable, I break the shackles and reverse the tables on her. I think that she enjoys this sudden need to totally submit to me in this way. When this scenerio happens, it's usually a very violent switch and she finds herself tied and spanked rather quickly.

We incorperate the lifestyle into our everyday lives as well. I'm the domestic one and she will call from work and give me a list of "chores" to perform. I must dress accordingly and be waiting on her when she arrives home. The end result is often more vanillia than not, but she enjoys the treat tremendously. Other times I will simply designate that she is to do everything that I tell her and I get very forceful. The last incident was when we were going to dinner and I instructed her to keep my cock erect for the entire evening. If she failed, there would be a severe whipping when we got home. She became very inventive by the end of the evening and even went as far as sucking me in the resturaunt.

All in all, I think that being a switch couple works for us. We use the submissive role to release tension and worry from our hectic life and the dominant role to re-enforce our postitioning in society and our private life.

Hope I didnt ramble too much.

I certainly appreciated your sharing your lifestyle choices. The more people post their differences and their similarities, the more folks will understand just how rich and full real life can be.

This is an interesting look. I do not switch, but many of my friends do. It is good to respect all choices.

 

[bunny bondage]

i agree with Eb, switching is not for me, but you, woodcarver, seem to have made it a very fun aspect of your relationship! congrats on finding someone with whom you can enjoy life to its fullest! ^_^

 

[sweetnpetite]

I am a Dom
I have been a Dom forever

Except the year I trained
That year convinced me I am a Dom with no submissivnes in me

No I do not switch

Training, that sounds like an interesting topic. what was that like?

 

[fallon2]

Now and forever

I have never even thought about switching. I am dominant now and forever.

 

[WynEternal]

Training, that sounds like an interesting topic. what was that like?

When I first started, I thought that I wanted to be a dominant. I found out that being a submissive was very fulfilling and there was something inside me that craved it. Don't think I knew what I was getting into at the time either. Like I said, the first few times I was given a chance to be dominant with another sub (to play them or anything) I completely froze, my shyness preventing me.

From the years I was a slave to Mistress, I've taken a lot away with me and am now able to explore and embrace the side that cries for dominance.

 

[Netzach]

I've done it. I'd do it again.

I find that I'm much more submissive around women, generally, or men who have a somewhat effeminate demeanor. A CD Mistress would really get me going, in theory. I find that when M dresses up I've no hope of really being harsh with him, and really I'd rather he top me at that time. I hope that happens sometime. If I couldn't ever bottom again I think I'd survive though. The more I play the less I want to do it, the less eager I am to do it, the more picky I am about who I might do it to (to the point of not even knowing who I might do it with) the less healthy or fitting it seems for me.

Top, on the other hand, I could never do without. I always favored it, my experiences as a bottom have always been more about education and expansion than surrender, and it's much more natural for me. My current setup of having a submissive I can occasionally order to beat me (he gets that it's a service and it's fun for him, rather than upsetting) is ideal.