Switch Advice needed

[Perfect_Trust]

I haven't posted here in quite a while. I have been mostly single since splitting with my husband early last year.
Since then I only met one guy who claimed he was dominant etc but turned out to be a complete liar...a more passive man I have never met. Some of you may remember me posting about it.

So I moved on from that but have recently been chatting to another guy who seems nice & admitted he has kinks. I'd dropped hints I was submissive (well more of a bottom really).
But I was really surprised last night when he informed me that he's a switch...but I found i was pleasantly surprised as I have had relationships with men (a long time ago) who have enjoyed topping & bottoming.

It's looking like we might take things further & I now find myself thinking 'Help' can I even remember how to take control myself? So any advice on any decent literature designed for women topping, or links to useful threads on here would be extremely useful. I know from threads I have read on here before that there are quite a few women on here who've started as submissive/bottoms then decided to explore their more dominant side.

PT

 

[ltnsfr007]

I haven't posted here in quite a while. I have been mostly single since splitting with my husband early last year.
Since then I only met one guy who claimed he was dominant etc but turned out to be a complete liar...a more passive man I have never met. Some of you may remember me posting about it.

So I moved on from that but have recently been chatting to another guy who seems nice & admitted he has kinks. I'd dropped hints I was submissive (well more of a bottom really).
But I was really surprised last night when he informed me that he's a switch...but I found i was pleasantly surprised as I have had relationships with men (a long time ago) who have enjoyed topping & bottoming.

It's looking like we might take things further & I now find myself thinking 'Help' can I even remember how to take control myself? So any advice on any decent literature designed for women topping, or links to useful threads on here would be extremely useful. I know from threads I have read on here before that there are quite a few women on here who've started as submissive/bottoms then decided to explore their more dominant side.

PT

Sexperiment, sexperiment, sexperiment

 

[BiBunny]

Not trying to toot my own horn here or anything, but I started a thread about a month ago on a similar subject. Mine was more about a specific situation--Master and I are both switches, and I do Top him occasionally, but this particular time when I was expected to, I didn't feel very Toppish--, but I think it'll help. I got some good advice, and when I finally put it to good use, things turned out very well indeed.

Switches, How Do You Get Into Your Headspace(s)?

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Thanks Bibunny,

Some useful comments in your thread. But what about spontaneity, or does it all need to be agreed who's topping who in advance?

 

[subwannabe]

There is a good book which I believe is entitled "The Mistress Manual".

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Thanks subwannabe,

I found the book on amazon & plenty of others! Mind you I've already got some ideas of my own floating around since I started thinking about what it means to me. I've already told him how I've heard it all before & how he's going to be made to prove he's up to the job.

 

[BiBunny]

Thanks Bibunny,

Some useful comments in your thread. But what about spontaneity, or does it all need to be agreed who's topping who in advance?

Not necessarily. He and I don't see each other much, so things do end up being sort of "planned" occasionally. Other times, it just depends on what kind of moods we're in at the time. We're one of the most laid-back couples ever, so we just kinda go with what works.

 

[subwannabe]

Perfect Trust,

Let us know how it all goes. I wish my wife were more into it like you seem to be. She bought the book I mentioned at one time but somehow it just never panned out.

 

[trojan_man_co]

if its a spontaneous thing... just pretend even if your not into being top honestly and as you both start to get turned on it will get easier and easier.. i would recommend however for the first few times you plain it out ahead of time so you get the feel again and get comfortable with all the help of preplanning on what your going to do..

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Well I'm definitely finding it easier to get into the mindset of topping now we've talked about it a bit more. I think it was just a little daunting to think I'd be capable as he is such a big athletic guy. So I was thinking 'how the hell do I top someone so much bigger/stronger than myself?'

But after spending a bit more time on Lit again, & making suggestions to him I've got more idea of what I want to do/how it's going to go. As there is a fair distance between us it's going to be a while before we get to put any plans into action, so at first it is likely to be pre-planned which is probably more useful to me.

Let's just say it involves hot wax & a knife & I can't wait!

I should add that he's fine with that, & it's not like I haven't practised on myself!

 

[trojan_man_co]

Well I'm definitely finding it easier to get into the mindset of topping now we've talked about it a bit more. I think it was just a little daunting to think I'd be capable as he is such a big athletic guy. So I was thinking 'how the hell do I top someone so much bigger/stronger than myself?'

But after spending a bit more time on Lit again, & making suggestions to him I've got more idea of what I want to do/how it's going to go. As there is a fair distance between us it's going to be a while before we get to put any plans into action, so at first it is likely to be pre-planned which is probably more useful to me.

Let's just say it involves hot wax & a knife & I can't wait!

I should add that he's fine with that, & it's not like I haven't practised on myself!

becarefull with the kife play till you both know what your doing same with wax... the wax is safer in that if you drip it higher it cools more so its not as hot.. the knife though if your not carefull can do serious damage.. personaly ive found if you used a dull butter knife and put it in the freezer before hand it feels like its razer sharp on the skin with out cutting.... reguardless as a top however it is your job to think of the safety aspect.. so make sure you read up on what ever it is your going to do...

 

[Perfect_Trust]

becarefull with the kife play till you both know what your doing same with wax... the wax is safer in that if you drip it higher it cools more so its not as hot.. the knife though if your not carefull can do serious damage.. personaly ive found if you used a dull butter knife and put it in the freezer before hand it feels like its razer sharp on the skin with out cutting.... reguardless as a top however it is your job to think of the safety aspect.. so make sure you read up on what ever it is your going to do...

Thanks Trojan,

I have tried different types of candles on myself, at different heights. So I will stick to those I am happy with & start off from a greater height. I will stick to a blunt knife as well. The one I use on myself is quite a sharp double edged blade which I am used to. However as I will be passing through customs to get there I will not be able to take that. So if I cannot find one I'm happy with in his kitchen I will skip the knife, maybe even take a serrated plastic one as a back up?