Swinging

[EmpressFi]

That's a mighty big limit to push, what, two weeks into the relationship. Honestly, as a bisexual woman, I would think it was shitty to be hit on by a woman who isn't even into women just to satisfy some man's inner desire to watch two chicks get it on.

Maybe this is my inner bias showing, but I have been treated like a bisexual freak show just there for the man's entertainment enough that I am VERY sensitive to shit like this. Women who play with other women for attention or just because the man wants them to piss me off. You can couch this in all the "expanding the sub's horizons and helping her GRRROOOOOWWWW" bullshit terminology that you want, but it's pretty obvious what's really going on here.

Furthermore, I thought one of the basic tenants of WIITWD is informed consent. I'd bet you $20 that she's not going to walk up to the "hot, bi femsub" (which is such a goddamned cliche among MDom/femsub couples that it's fucking disgusting) and say, "Well, you know, I really don't like girls at all, and I'm only hitting on you because Master says I have to." Nope, she's going to play along with the scenario; the other girl is going to be USED to satisfy the whims of the couple WITHOUT INFORMED CONSENT.

Way to totally use a bisexual woman as a commodity there. And by another goddamned woman, no less. I see it over and over and over, and I hate it. THINK before you do shit, people. THINK of how it can be hurtful and offensive to others. EVERYTHING is not about your own fucking pleasure.

Ok, fuck this. I'm out of this thread before I get really ugly.

Until you said this, I ashamedly didnt even think about the feelings of the woman being hit on. You make a valid point. I wouldnt want a guy to hit on me just because he wanted to please someone else.. I certainly want them to fuck me just because someone else told them to. Why would a woman want that either. Granted, she may never find out, but what a shitty thing to do to another person.

 

[snowbyte]

That's a mighty big limit to push, what, two weeks into the relationship.

Missed that part. But I do agree. This kind of stretch assignment would be a bit premature.

Honestly, as a bisexual woman, I would think it was shitty to be hit on by a woman who isn't even into women just to satisfy some man's inner desire to watch two chicks get it on.

Agreed. If this is just for his kicks, I wouldn't approve, hence the (implied) qualifications in my post.

Maybe this is my inner bias showing, but I have been treated like a bisexual freak show just there for the man's entertainment enough that I am VERY sensitive to shit like this. Women who play with other women for attention or just because the man wants them to piss me off.

Understood. I've always steered clear of situations like this. If I'm in the mood to watch women together and my SO doesn't swing that way, there's enough pr0n out there to satisfy the need.

You can couch this in all the "expanding the sub's horizons and helping her GRRROOOOOWWWW" bullshit terminology that you want, but it's pretty obvious what's really going on here.

I hope you're wrong for her sake. If you are right, they really need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart over this one.

'Why' in this case is very, very important. And 'just for his kicks' is probably not an acceptable answer for many of us here. If that's the reason, they should just order up a professional.

Your 'informed consent' point is a good one. I've never been in a situation where a third party was brought in for play in a BDSM relationship so I've not thought through how to approach the 'informing' part.

Ok, fuck this. I'm out of this thread before I get really ugly.

Having a strong opinion about something and voicing it by no means makes you ugly. It's actually one of your more attractive qualities.

 

[BiBunny]

Until you said this, I ashamedly didnt even think about the feelings of the woman being hit on. You make a valid point. I wouldnt want a guy to hit on me just because he wanted to please someone else.. I certainly want them to fuck me just because someone else told them to. Why would a woman want that either. Granted, she may never find out, but what a shitty thing to do to another person.

That's why I said what I said Miss Fi.

Most people DON'T think about the third person and how he or she might feel. I get stupid stuff like this thrown at me all the time. "Oh, you're bi. You must just be dying to come serve me and my Master and clean our house and cook our dinner and do whatever else we tell you without a single thought toward how you might feel about the whole thing." It makes me angry that people often don't think past their own selfish pleasure and reminds me that we still have a long way to go in terms of acceptance of women's sexual identities.

 

[BiBunny]

Yes, I'm being a bad girl and too lazy to go back and fix my previous post to make it a multi-quote. Beat me for it if you wanna.

Missed that part. But I do agree. This kind of stretch assignment would be a bit premature.

Yep. Sure is.

Agreed. If this is just for his kicks, I wouldn't approve, hence the (implied) qualifications in my post.

*Nods* Same here.

Understood. I've always steered clear of situations like this. If I'm in the mood to watch women together and my SO doesn't swing that way, there's enough pr0n out there to satisfy the need.

It's a fun situation to be involved in if everybody's down for it. It's when they aren't that it gets sticky.

I hope you're wrong for her sake. If you are right, they really need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart over this one.

'Why' in this case is very, very important. And 'just for his kicks' is probably not an acceptable answer for many of us here. If that's the reason, they should just order up a professional.

Your 'informed consent' point is a good one. I've never been in a situation where a third party was brought in for play in a BDSM relationship so I've not thought through how to approach the 'informing' part.

Often people don't think it through, which is why I always try to point it out when I see stuff like this.

Having a strong opinion about something and voicing it by no means makes you ugly. It's actually one of your more attractive qualities.

Why, thank you, kind sir. *Bats eyelashes*

 

[intothewoods]

That's a mighty big limit to push, what, two weeks into the relationship. Honestly, as a bisexual woman, I would think it was shitty to be hit on by a woman who isn't even into women just to satisfy some man's inner desire to watch two chicks get it on.

Maybe this is my inner bias showing, but I have been treated like a bisexual freak show just there for the man's entertainment enough that I am VERY sensitive to shit like this. Women who play with other women for attention or just because the man wants them to piss me off. You can couch this in all the "expanding the sub's horizons and helping her GRRROOOOOWWWW" bullshit terminology that you want, but it's pretty obvious what's really going on here.

Furthermore, I thought one of the basic tenants of WIITWD is informed consent. I'd bet you $20 that she's not going to walk up to the "hot, bi femsub" (which is such a goddamned cliche among MDom/femsub couples that it's fucking disgusting) and say, "Well, you know, I really don't like girls at all, and I'm only hitting on you because Master says I have to." Nope, she's going to play along with the scenario; the other girl is going to be USED to satisfy the whims of the couple WITHOUT INFORMED CONSENT.

Way to totally use a bisexual woman as a commodity there. And by another goddamned woman, no less. I see it over and over and over, and I hate it. THINK before you do shit, people. THINK of how it can be hurtful and offensive to others. EVERYTHING is not about your own fucking pleasure.

Ok, fuck this. I'm out of this thread before I get really ugly.

Nooooo, stay! This is a great point, and I'm so glad you brought it up. I didn't realize Gigi was straight. I do get a little lazy in my real life community, because everyone knows I'm fairly straight, but I do like kissing, and some other light things. Plus I do percussion play with women all the time, and other stuff. It's not as complicated as it sounds because I know some of the people in my group pretty well.

Now, it's funny you brought up the question of honesty and consent. (Interesting, not funny ha ha) Mister Man and I have joked about finding a third, but I really haven't felt comfortable talking up my man like that! That's why I asked Gigi if Carlos was hot. Frankly, I do know quite a lot of, well, sexually easy people, self-proclaimed "sluts" and all that. And that's who I was thinking about when I responded to her. There are also plenty of women who don't sleep around in my local scene (I'm one of them!), and I wouldn't try and talk one of them up for Mister Man either.

But I was being serious - I find Mister Man hot, and he has a lot of wonderful qualities, but he's a really big hairy guy. Hmm, hey Bunny... KIDDING. But seriously, I would never not be upfront about that. Hell, if this ever became a reality, which, frankly, I doubt it would, it wouldn't be something that started at a party. We'd have to all meet first and just hang out. Can you imagine coming home to some chick's man, and having it be a surprise? I mean, that's why I'd never go home with someone I met at a swing party, but I digress...

 

[intothewoods]

That's why I said what I said Miss Fi.

Most people DON'T think about the third person and how he or she might feel. I get stupid stuff like this thrown at me all the time. "Oh, you're bi. You must just be dying to come serve me and my Master and clean our house and cook our dinner and do whatever else we tell you without a single thought toward how you might feel about the whole thing." It makes me angry that people often don't think past their own selfish pleasure and reminds me that we still have a long way to go in terms of acceptance of women's sexual identities.

Ha ha hah - do they know you? Because when I think Bunny, I totally think toilet cleaner.

 

[intothewoods]

*giggles* ITW, you always have a way of lightening my mood in the best ways. *hugs* Thanks!!

It is an extremely exclusive Swing Club here in the heart of Midtown at Atlanta. So exclusive in fact that the residential (yes I said residential) neighborhood it is located in has no idea it is a Swing Club. Carlos is a regular member and has been so for a number of years.

This isn't just me 'finding someone for him to shag. It is me finding someone for 'us' to shag. My first time with all this, so I hope he is gentle.

Yeah I think it will be easier to find a cuite bi girl rather than tyring to convert another straight-y like me.

And just for the record, Carlos is one hot papi. Ask Viv and FF. (Homburg's seen him too but I don't think he's gonna say Carlos is hot) He is part German, part Mexican. He has this European suave-ness combined with the sexy confidence of Latin men. *Licks lips* He knows how to work it... he's got it all under control.

Thank you, it all seems to go over when I try to be funny. Until it doesn't. And then I'm just an asshole.

I take your word for it on Carlos. He sounds divine!

 

[ecstaticsub]

I see it quite often in the wifesharing/swinging community where two women who are not really bi will play in front of their men just for their men's enjoyment. But of course this is where they are all in agreement as to what is really going on.

 

[BiBunny]

Ha ha hah - do they know you? Because when I think Bunny, I totally think toilet cleaner.

Wow, you, too? God, I don't know why everyone thinks that. It must be because I'm so meek and unassuming.

 

[intothewoods]

Wow, you, too? God, I don't know why everyone thinks that. It must be because I'm so meek and unassuming.

Noooo, it's your squeaky clean image? Get it? Hey, I'm tired. It's too late to be funny.

You know, I was just pondering the whole girls-gone-wild "bi" for the enjoyment of men phenomenon. I don't know where it came from. I don't recall straight women making out for their boyfriends at college, but now it seems to be de rigeur.

 

[BiBunny]

Noooo, it's your squeaky clean image? Get it? Hey, I'm tired. It's too late to be funny.

You know, I was just pondering the whole girls-gone-wild "bi" for the enjoyment of men phenomenon. I don't know where it came from. I don't recall straight women making out for their boyfriends at college, but now it seems to be de rigeur.

LOL @ "squeaky clean."

And you're right, "bi for attention" is de rigeur. I hate it. I know I sound like one of those horrible, man-hating feminazi radical left-wing lesbians right now, but I despise it. Either like women because you like women or don't. The sexuality of females is made into a commodity often enough as it is. As a woman, you (general you) shouldn't be adding to that.

I love sex. I'm a self-proclaimed slut and proud of it. I love men, and I love women. I can easily be in a relationship with either of them (obviously). I love threesomes. (I'd say I like foursomes and moresomes, but at this point, threesomes are the extent of my group sex experience.) But I want sex on my own terms. I don't want my bisexuality on display for the enjoyment of some guy wanting to get his rocks off.

I know there are a lot of bi women who have never been in a relationship with a woman, i.e., using girls for sex. That's fine, but those people have no idea how Kitty and I feel when we're treated like porn star lesbians, you know what I mean? As long as women go along with it, they're condoning it. As long as it's condoned, it'll never change. And while I don't think every sexual escapade is a political statement, I do think that at some point women need to realize that not every sexual experience they have is for the benefit of some man or other and start taking control of their sexuality. And if some guy doesn't like it...too bad.

/off soapbox

 

[intothewoods]

LOL @ "squeaky clean."

And you're right, "bi for attention" is de rigeur. I hate it. I know I sound like one of those horrible, man-hating feminazi radical left-wing lesbians right now, but I despise it. Either like women because you like women or don't. The sexuality of females is made into a commodity often enough as it is. As a woman, you (general you) shouldn't be adding to that.

I love sex. I'm a self-proclaimed slut and proud of it. I love men, and I love women. I can easily be in a relationship with either of them (obviously). I love threesomes. (I'd say I like foursomes and moresomes, but at this point, threesomes are the extent of my group sex experience.) But I want sex on my own terms. I don't want my bisexuality on display for the enjoyment of some guy wanting to get his rocks off.

I know there are a lot of bi women who have never been in a relationship with a woman, i.e., using girls for sex. That's fine, but those people have no idea how Kitty and I feel when we're treated like porn star lesbians, you know what I mean? As long as women go along with it, they're condoning it. As long as it's condoned, it'll never change. And while I don't think every sexual escapade is a political statement, I do think that at some point women need to realize that not every sexual experience they have is for the benefit of some man or other and start taking control of their sexuality. And if some guy doesn't like it...too bad.

/off soapbox

Oh please, you're a feminist. Not a feminazi. Rush Limbaugh can eat a dick (that's my expression of the day, thank you Annne_Prospere!).

All the bi women I know have had relationships with women. Frankly, I'm the only gay for attention girl in our group (not really, but I joke about it), and (1) I'm totally honest about it and (2) it's not for male attention, it's just for attention. In actuality, I'm over the straight girl thing because they're too much work, as I said before. Big whoop. You have a vagina and you're cute. I'm over it. I prefer there to be a gender queer aspect. I dig bois at the moment.

 

[BiBunny]

Oh please, you're a feminist. Not a feminazi. Rush Limbaugh can eat a dick (that's my expression of the day, thank you Annne_Prospere!).

All the bi women I know have had relationships with women. Frankly, I'm the only gay for attention girl in our group (not really, but I joke about it), and (1) I'm totally honest about it and (2) it's not for male attention, it's just for attention. In actuality, I'm over the straight girl thing because they're too much work, as I said before. Big whoop. You have a vagina and you're cute. I'm over it. I prefer there to be a gender queer aspect. I dig bois at the moment.

That's cool. You're definitely not one of the chicks I'm talking about.

 

[elizabeth22673]

lots of information here but i wanted to say that it seems you have very high expectations about what you want to happen tonight...your first time in a swing club.

believe it or not some of us <swingers> are picky about who we play with and we like to get to know the people in a social manner before the 'fun' begins.

plus you add to the mix that you are not bi but you are supposed to seduce a woman AND you want her to be a sub. wow, honey i'm not saying it's not going to happen eventually, but going in to the party with these high expectations for your first time might make for a very disappointing end to your evening.

why not go and have fun socially and then if you find someone you are interested in, then go from there and see what happens. heck, i hope i'm wrong and you find someone right away....but most of the time, these things take a little time...

i'm not trying to come across as an expert, but wanted to tell you my opinions based on my experience

hope you have a wonderful time!

 

[rida]

Many good point already brought up by the other posters. So I might just be repeating things.

From a practical point of view, if it is like the clubs here, you will be wearing something (a paper bracelet here) indicating whether you are there as a couple or as a single man or a single woman. If you are there as a couple, the rule here is that you have always to move together, that is if one goes off to play in a private room, the partner have to follow (not necessarily play thou). That should help you in picking a non attached woman.

Now the dicey part is for you: can you do it? do you want to do it? why?
And for him: why do you want her to do it? what if she says no? what if she says yes and fail?

As for the third party (the other woman), she should know exactly what the deal is. She might have no problem with it, but it is only fare to let her know at least that you are hitting on her because you have been asked to find a suitable female partner for both you and your man to play with.

At any rate ... have fun & be safe

 

[Netzach]

Yeah. I read all the responses and wondered why nobody was saying, "This is a really bad idea if you sit back and think about it for 2.5 seconds." Not to mention rather insulting to women who really do like other women.

I did allude to this maybe not being the easiest non-porn real life idea.

I don't think anyone has to be sexually non-insulting or non-exploitative or nice though.

I mean that's cool if you are, but I think those involved aren't exactly broadcasting "we care about you, baby" so, you know. Sport. Fuck.

If I were a hooking up at a swing club my psychic and emotional expectations would be very very very low. Wouldn't yours? I mean I think if you're going into that environment in pursuit of meaningful poly spiritual luvvvv you are probably a danger to yourself and others.

As elizabeth brings up, though, some clubs do have comeraderie and go out of the way to have some kind of connection as the norm, so, etiquitte will vary a lot. Don't be shocked if the girl you approach is like "the hell I'm gonna be part of your sex show for your dude."

This is essentially why I'm not part of this scene at all though. My orientation is not someone's commodity.

 

[BiBunny]

I did allude to this maybe not being the easiest non-porn real life idea.

I don't think anyone has to be sexually non-insulting or non-exploitative or nice though.

I mean that's cool if you are, but I think those involved aren't exactly broadcasting "we care about you, baby" so, you know. Sport. Fuck.

Agreed. But I also don't think it's right for the other girl not to know the whole deal. And while I did go off-track there a bit, that was really what I was getting at. If this other girl knows the score, then I guess it's her decision to do what she wants. But I can almost guarantee you she won't know what she's being used for, and that's what I have a problem with.

If I were a hooking up at a swing club my expectations would be very very very low.

This is essentially why I'm not part of this scene at all though. My orientation is not someone's commodity.

Same here. I think it's sickening, personally.

 

[Netzach]

Agreed. But I also don't think it's right for the other girl not to know the whole deal. And while I did go off-track there a bit, that was really what I was getting at. If this other girl knows the score, then I guess it's her decision to do what she wants. But I can almost guarantee you she won't know what she's being used for, and that's what I have a problem with.



Same here. I think it's sickening, personally.

But the other girl might know the whole deal - we don't know that she doesn't. Gigi may be on the up-and-up about it, and if not, well - I think it'd be hard to fake suave experienced with other women genuine lust THAT well. I think it'll come up. I think it'd be either "here's the deal" awkward and then discussed, or nothing much is said at all, in which case caveat emptor on the part of slut girl.

I'm not in that situation - and I don't think that my feelings beyond use rubbers and here's what might work, is really solicited. Like itw, I'm thinking about some people I know in the swing side of the SM community who would be FINE in this scenario - just cause I'm not doesn't make it wrong.

 

[Netzach]

There is basically no law in the world that says you MUST do it the nice, clean, right, ethical above-board way in order for people to be willing to share information with you, that has always bugged me, to an extent.

Yeah, as much as I personally have been in the hit on for novelty thing, as much as my blood freaking boils when I've been approached by couples 99.999 percent of the time...

There are pitfalls to doing this, some good ones have been brought up. The decision belongs to the person asking, without having to make them feel as bad as humanly possible. People aren't responsible for every emotional what-if of the people they fuck, and it is the job of that person to ask questions too.

 

[FurryFury]

That's a mighty big limit to push, what, two weeks into the relationship. Honestly, as a bisexual woman, I would think it was shitty to be hit on by a woman who isn't even into women just to satisfy some man's inner desire to watch two chicks get it on.

Maybe this is my inner bias showing, but I have been treated like a bisexual freak show just there for the man's entertainment enough that I am VERY sensitive to shit like this. Women who play with other women for attention or just because the man wants them to piss me off. You can couch this in all the "expanding the sub's horizons and helping her GRRROOOOOWWWW" bullshit terminology that you want, but it's pretty obvious what's really going on here.

Furthermore, I thought one of the basic tenants of WIITWD is informed consent. I'd bet you $20 that she's not going to walk up to the "hot, bi femsub" (which is such a goddamned cliche among MDom/femsub couples that it's fucking disgusting) and say, "Well, you know, I really don't like girls at all, and I'm only hitting on you because Master says I have to." Nope, she's going to play along with the scenario; the other girl is going to be USED to satisfy the whims of the couple WITHOUT INFORMED CONSENT.

Way to totally use a bisexual woman as a commodity there. And by another goddamned woman, no less. I see it over and over and over, and I hate it. THINK before you do shit, people. THINK of how it can be hurtful and offensive to others. EVERYTHING is not about your own fucking pleasure.

Ok, fuck this. I'm out of this thread before I get really ugly.

I have to agree with you.

 

[Bandit58]

I'm really confused.

I'm not sure why a Dom with your best interests in mind, rather than his own selfishness, would tell you (someone who has NO bi or lesbian interests) to do this.

I've read on another thread that you have always been poly but you also say, in this thread, that you have no interest in another man.

Good luck regardless.

I'm just really confused. I don't expect this task to lead to anything good for you in the long run. I hear poly where the Dom is into it and the sub is not doesn't work out well.

I feel he is pushing her way too fast....maybe it would be different if they had visited the club before a couple of times, for her to get the feel of the place and watch others' interactions first.

As a bi woman, and part of a couple where the Dom is straight, I would probably have no problem with it apart from acute shyness However if I were straight I would find this task extremely difficult if not impossible. It would be like Sir asking me to find another guy and have sex with him....I cringe at having other men watching me naked, behaving sexually with them would be classed as a hard limit.

Also, it takes time (for me at least) to build up trust and to be comfortable with certain situations. Carlos and Gigi have only been in a relationship for a very short time, even though I believe they have known each other as friends before this. Again, I feel he is pushing her too fast....I need time to process my feelings whenever something new is going to be added to our relationship.

 

[FurryFury]

I feel he is pushing her way too fast....maybe it would be different if they had visited the club before a couple of times, for her to get the feel of the place and watch others' interactions first.

As a bi woman, and part of a couple where the Dom is straight, I would probably have no problem with it apart from acute shyness However if I were straight I would find this task extremely difficult if not impossible. It would be like Sir asking me to find another guy and have sex with him....I cringe at having other men watching me naked, behaving sexually with them would be classed as a hard limit.

Also, it takes time (for me at least) to build up trust and to be comfortable with certain situations. Carlos and Gigi have only been in a relationship for a very short time, even though I believe they have known each other as friends before this. Again, I feel he is pushing her too fast....I need time to process my feelings whenever something new is going to be added to our relationship.

I feel the same way especially about the processing time!

 

[intothewoods]

I did allude to this maybe not being the easiest non-porn real life idea.

I don't think anyone has to be sexually non-insulting or non-exploitative or nice though.

I mean that's cool if you are, but I think those involved aren't exactly broadcasting "we care about you, baby" so, you know. Sport. Fuck.

If I were a hooking up at a swing club my psychic and emotional expectations would be very very very low. Wouldn't yours? I mean I think if you're going into that environment in pursuit of meaningful poly spiritual luvvvv you are probably a danger to yourself and others.

As elizabeth brings up, though, some clubs do have comeraderie and go out of the way to have some kind of connection as the norm, so, etiquitte will vary a lot. Don't be shocked if the girl you approach is like "the hell I'm gonna be part of your sex show for your dude."

This is essentially why I'm not part of this scene at all though. My orientation is not someone's commodity.

Sport fuck. Thank you, that's the expression, and who I was thinking of. Find the chick who's into the sport fuck. But you'll likely need to do it on site. I think that's the best idea anyhow. You really want to bring some strange chick into your home? I've had this discussion with Mister Man (prior to our becoming exclusive), and I basically said, knock yourself out, but I won't be there. First of all, no way in hell would I invite someone I didn't know to my house. At his house? I still found it creepy and risky, but it's his house and was his perogative as a single guy at the time.

 

[elizabeth22673]

Just a bump to see how things went last night

 

[SweetGigi]

Just a bump to see how things went last night

Oh, there was no need to bump, sweetness. I've been ghosting this witch hunt since we got back last night. I have to say I'm in no way surprised at the turn of events here.

So to start here, lets set a few things straight shall we? 1. Carlos and I have been friends for over 4 years. I know everything there is to know about his life as he does about mine. While it is true we've just started dating, it isn't like we are blind in any way to the other's needs, wants, desires and experience or expectations. He knows what I am capable of, what I've experienced in the past and my PERSONAL DESIRES. I WANTED TO DO THIS WITH HIM, period. So the assumption that I am being pushed too far too fast is not really a valid concern, thank you though.

2. I want to personally thank Bunny for starting this witch hunt and showing out the way she has here. Let me provide an example of how this whole things should have gone had there not already been a predisposed hatred and viciousness brewing.

"Ok, 'Cole I have a question: How exactly are you planning on approaching said bi/sub girl in this situation? Will it be on the up and up or will there be a hidden agenda? I personally would suggest not trying to hide things from the girl you approach because she might personally find it demeaning."

See, the fact of the matter is, Bunny, you don't know me from dick's hat band. You know nothing about me other than what you have arbitrarily assumed about me on these boards and the third person information you have 'gathered'. You took it upon yourself to assume, for reasons we both know, that I would be such a soul who would take it upon myself to willingly deceive a woman into a situation she might otherwise not engage in if she were to know the whole story. You took it upon yourself to fill in the blanks of the whole evening, not knowing anything other than the little information provided here. But then again, this does not surprise me in the least given your past actions. Transference is such an ugly thing really.

Truth: This was an opportunity for Carlos to see my interaction within this sort of environment and to see how much I could take, do, and feel comfortable with. He in no way expected more than could give; that is just asinine to assume. There was no punishment to be dealt if I didn't succeed in finding a girl- it was just an opportunity to see what would happen. I am sorry if I made it sound as such.

Truth: I NEVER would have, nor did I, approach a woman to bring into play with us, without telling her the whole story. Thank you, Netzach, for point out the fact that I 'just might' have the common decency to be this forthright. How dare anyone assume that I would be so cruel as to not be on the up and up.

Truth: Carlos knows what he is doing with me. Again with the assumptions. *shakes head*

For those of you who care to know, we had a blast last night. This particular club is set up in a intimate setting. They do not allow any singles in- you must be a part of a couple to attend. $250 per couple gets you in the door, a 5 course dinner, all the drinks you can stomach (which I personally disagree with but oh well), a private room with lockers and bath facilities, access to the public rooms, the roman baths, and breakfast bar after all the events conclude.
We arrived at 8 pm for dinner and sat down to eat with 6 other couples, some of which Carlos knows and others he does not. During dinner everyone asked me questions and I naturally answered them. Everyone came to the knowledge that this was my first time, that I am completely straight, and I am in training with Carlos as my assumed Dominant.
After dinner, we interacted with and mingled with other couples, (there were about 100 different couples there all together) in a casual friendly and environment over drinks with no expectations and NO TOUCHING. In the front room, it looks and acts just like an average dinner club. In the back is where the action is had... if you choose to take part. Once in the back you receive the key to your room where you can disrobe and again mingle with the other couples and interact however you choose.
We met up with our friends from dinner again after we went to the back, however I really didn't feel connection with any of them on the level I require to be sexually involved. Without disappointment, Carlos and I eventually enjoyed each other in our private room and played until about 2:30. Once sated, we went back up front and had a wonderful breakfast with our new friends were I was mercilessly teased about my new experience. We both left completely satisfied and happy with the situation even though the hopes for involving a third did not come to fruition.

In the future I would suggest questions being posed rather than assumptions being made. No one wants others to assume things about them, so why would I be any different?