Swing

[Guest]

I thought I had it all planned!My wife and I "escaped" for the weekend to a motel.I had arranged for a guy to meet us and give me my all time fantasy of watching her get a good fucking.We had discussed this,however I surprised her with it this past weekend.She was furious!No way she says.Not only that,we had discussed finding a like minded couple for some hot times.She also nixed that idea!!She was very upset that I had contacted a couple to chat with.Wow...my fantasies are blown to shit.We have been married 17 years and I am happy,but,man,those fantasies....Where do I go from here?

 

[Ginny]

oh bless your heart....

hope ya at least got some good ol' regular wifey pussy...away from home and all...

 

[Guest]

Well, yes...I got plenty of good wifey pussy!..LOL!!!
But,as I set here I am still horny as hell and thinking about all kinds of unfullfilled fantasies.I will never bring it up to her again.I don,t want to ever cheat on her.I have even thought of a little bi action,something I experimented with in high school 25 years ago.
What do you think?

 

[artful]

TRUE ADVICE

Your "ONLY" hope is communicating with your wife!

Any other ideas or advice is BULLSHIT!

The communication with your wife IS the problem. Take your time and re-think the situation,...find out WHAT her fears are,(they ARE there)and seek ways to alleviate them.

The FINDING out what they are is the BIG problem. People of BOTH sexes tend to be blind to those fears,and will deny them vehemently saying,"No,I am not afraid of.........!.It's just I am HAPPY the way things are and,...yada yada yada."

Take your time! Good Luck,....................Art

 

[bored1]

My X and I did the swing thing about 12 years ago<Notice I said X>The hottest was definately the mfm encounters,It was an interesting experience to live out the fantasy.Not sure it helped our relationship.About 6 months ago I visited a local swing club where single males were allowed membership.I spent the evening observing people and the life style.I left feeling empty and sad.Quess I dont have those feelings anymore.I dont think I would ever be willing to share a partner again.

 

[Guest]

Thanks,So are you saying your fantasy,once fulfilled,made you feel guilty?So much so that you never wanted to try again?
Am I wrong to have these fantasies?How do I get past the enormous need to fulfill some of my fantasies?
My wife and I communicate very well.We are very much on the same page on everything.....except this.Maybe I am just extremely oversexed.I know I can cum 6 to 8 eight times in 8 hours,and still have no problem getting hard.Is there something wrong with me?I need some variation of regular sex.I was so fired up for our hopeful encounter this weekend I was literally "shaking" with anticipation when we checked in.Man...do I need proffessional help?

 

[bored1]

Thanks,So are you saying your fantasy,once fulfilled,made you feel guilty?So much so that you never wanted to try again?
Am I wrong to have these fantasies?How do I get past the enormous need to fulfill some of my fantasies?
My wife and I communicate very well.We are very much on the same page on everything.....except this.Maybe I am just extremely oversexed.I know I can cum 6 to 8 eight times in 8 hours,and still have no problem getting hard.Is there something wrong with me?I need some variation of regular sex.I was so fired up for our hopeful encounter this weekend I was literally "shaking" with anticipation when we checked in.Man...do I need proffessional help?

My wife and I started out watching porn and it graduated into trying some of what we were watching,We lived the lifestyle for about 18months.I think part of it was curiosity on my part to watch a man having sex.My wife was a willing participant and since she was attractive we had no problem finding partners.I still recall the last encounter where an individual we had been with many times was a little more aggressive than before.It may have been because we were not in the usual place.<The Swing Club> We were in a hotel room,It was just to personal. I recall feeling cheap and I also recall that at that particular moment that I loved my wife more than anything in the world.I only wish now I would have told her how I felt.As for professional help, I dont know,I would think that you need to understand where your desires come from and go from there.Someone told me a long time ago that sometimes fantasies should remain just that. Now as Im a bit older and wiser I have to say I feel that way.

 

[CoolCucumber]

I may not be the grand expert in the scheme of things, but it was probably the "suprise" that did it. It's hard for alot of women just to admit what their fantasies and desires are, even to their significant others...but to be confronted with them with absolutely no warning could have the potential to be highly unnerving for someone who's not expecting it. Just my little opinion...
-CoolCucumber

 

[Unclebill]

Pardon my being blunt, but . . .

perhaps you should have discussed with your wife this little escapade before you set it up unilaterally.

Honestly, I think it was NOT SMART at all to spring this on her unannounced.

The FANTASY may be just fine with her as long as it remains that, FANTASY. From your post, it sounds as if bringing the fantasy to reality was a complete surprise to her and with something this private and personal, that ain't smart, not on the first venture.

Had there been past occasions (your post implies not), then I would not berate your lack of thoughtfulness and consideration in not communicating with her before springing this little surprise.

All the talking about it previously as a fantasy doesn't mean that when the reality is staring her in the face, she's going to go for it which I guess is apparent in hindsight.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Actually, you should have discussed it with her first. Some people prefer fantasy to reality when it comes to bringing in people from the outside. Springing it on her like that probably seriously cheesed her off and hurt her pretty deeply as well.

You should talk to her in a neutral and non-sexual place, a place that's neither yours nor hers and private. Some place that's not one that will remind you or her of sex. One thing that can help immensely is if you do it back to back. It sounds weird and feels even weirder right off the bat but it works wonders because you have that connection in a completely non-threatening and non-accusatory way and you aren't looking at the person so things tend to be phrased assertively rather than aggressively or passive-aggressively.

This isn't a sexual problem, it's a communication problem because she's angry at best and you're hurt at worst. It's an emotional issue so it should be discussed with that in mind.

My humble advice.