SweetErika

[necroerotica]

I'm pretty sure the wink and kiss icons at the end of the OP's post indicated it was meant as a joke and/or affectionately.

Geeze....

 

[aimouse]

Dear All ...

Firstly, a public apology to Erika - my post was written in respectful jest. It is a shame so many failed to appreciate that when they read it.
I enjoy Erika's posts as much as everyone else seems to and marvel at the bredth of her knowledge; I wonder how she finds the time.

In the present company, I acknowledge my particular use of humour was both misguided, and more importantly, unduly optimistic.

Incidentally, I hope the irony is not lost on anyone when my reply is longer than one, simple word ... "sorry".

Thank you to those who had the sense to see the joke and / or give me the benefit of the doubt. It is a pity those who lacked such perception may have already added my profile to their Ignore List, and would not bother to return to this thread to read my response to their misguided assumptions.

To those on Lit with whom I've exchanged worthwile coments, thank you and au revoir.

To those poor souls who missed the point I humbly offer a suggestion:, lighten up guys & don't jump to conclusions - the world would be a better place if people sought understanding before they pulled their guns. To you, this ain't au revoir, it's goodbye. I expect you'll bid me good ridance. ROFL!

 

[elib257]

For what it's worth I understood the post but I just thought S.Erika deserves some appreciation.

 

[lltking]

I can Appreciate someone who has an intelligent opinion about things. It's important to get good sound responses posted in the forum, after all we are here to exchange information and I like reading SweetErika's post. She always gives good information. Keep up the good work your royal highness.

 

[subwannabe]

I respect the fact that Erika does her homework when responding to a post, something I just don't have the time or the desire to do. She has certainly given a lot of good advice, most of which I agree with.

 

[big hank]

I am a dedicated lurker ( sorry ) and I never ever skip a word that SweetErika has to say. She is the most thought out well resonded person on this site. I enjoy so many of you but none as much as her. Please SweetErika never change . You have done so so much good.

 

[Cathleen]

Firstly, a public apology to Erika - my post was written in respectful jest. It is a shame so many failed to appreciate that when they read it.
I enjoy Erika's posts as much as everyone else seems to and marvel at the bredth of her knowledge; I wonder how she finds the time.

In the present company, I acknowledge my particular use of humour was both misguided, and more importantly, unduly optimistic.

Incidentally, I hope the irony is not lost on anyone when my reply is longer than one, simple word ... "sorry".

Thank you to those who had the sense to see the joke and / or give me the benefit of the doubt. It is a pity those who lacked such perception may have already added my profile to their Ignore List, and would not bother to return to this thread to read my response to their misguided assumptions.

To those on Lit with whom I've exchanged worthwile coments, thank you and au revoir.

To those poor souls who missed the point I humbly offer a suggestion:, lighten up guys & don't jump to conclusions - the world would be a better place if people sought understanding before they pulled their guns. To you, this ain't au revoir, it's goodbye. I expect you'll bid me good ridance. ROFL!

I do not use ignore because of something like this, I see no need.

However, if you look at how many people did NOT perceive your opening post as respectful jest you might want to consider the clarity issue began with you, as is the onus of the thread starter. We all know how difficult it can be to type 'tone', sometimes things are not what they appear to be and might require an extra word or phrase to be more clear.

Add to that, UK humor can be more subtle and we Yanks might need a primer or something more obvious.

edit to add: Why leave, animouse? (My request that you go away, not-with-standing, 'cuz why listen to me?.)

 

[Cathleen]

I am a dedicated lurker ( sorry ) and I never ever skip a word that SweetErika has to say. She is the most thought out well resonded person on this site. I enjoy so many of you but none as much as her. Please SweetErika never change . You have done so so much good.

Welcome out of lurkerdome, hang out a while.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Firstly, a public apology to Erika - my post was written in respectful jest. It is a shame so many failed to appreciate that when they read it.
I enjoy Erika's posts as much as everyone else seems to and marvel at the bredth of her knowledge; I wonder how she finds the time.

Thankyou for the clarification. I did wonder what could possibly have motivated what could have been perceived as a personal attack.

I didn't clock your location at first but now Cathleen has alerted me to the fact you're a fellow Brit, I can see where the humour could easily have been lost. I generally assume posters to be US citizens unless told otherwise as it's the majority demographic of the forum.

I haven't personally had any issues with your posts, although I don't hang out in the HT Cafe very often. I'm therefore going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

This time.

Gracious ain't I?

 

[rthnck]

I've always said that posting after Erika is usually hard to do because she's already covered all the points I wanted to make so put me in the SweetErika fan club. I read the OP comments much as airmouse intended but I can understand the confusion.

I think the lesson here might be that if you start a thread you might want to check back more frequently right after you post it to make sure the thread is moving in the intended direction.

Props to SweetErika despite the ambiguity of the OP.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I believe you are smitten, little man.

No mittens, that would just be kinky ...

Bump shump, Erika. You are much appreciated here and apparently NippleMuncher has even deeper feelings. (Nothin' like startin' somethin' ; ) )

Let the jesting begin!

I'm not one to have ulterior motives, suffice it to say that I just have a deep respect for SweetE and enjoy reading her contributions. (ok, maybe I'm a little under her spell - but no mittens! Too kinky! )

 

[Colton_White]

I did

How do you need to phrase a question to get a short answer out of SweetErika?

I mean, does the woman have nothing else to do with hur fingers other than type?
Does she never stop to play with her pussy?!

i did made her answer in only 4 lines
but i can't post it here, otherwise it'll violate the site rules [posteing private messege on board]

 

[SweetErika]

I do not use ignore because of something like this, I see no need.

However, if you look at how many people did NOT perceive your opening post as respectful jest you might want to consider the clarity issue began with you, as is the onus of the thread starter. We all know how difficult it can be to type 'tone', sometimes things are not what they appear to be and might require an extra word or phrase to be more clear.

Add to that, UK humor can be more subtle and we Yanks might need a primer or something more obvious.

Thank you for your apology, aimouse.

Cate said exactly what I was thinking (right down to using specific words...freaky! ), so I'll avoid repeating that.

For my part, I DID try to read your post from many different perspectives and thought on it for quite sometime before I responded.

However, even with your explanation, I still have a lot of trouble seeing the humor and propriety of putting it here. What's funny to some can be offensive to others (racist/sexist/fat/etc. jokes are a good example of that, IMO). If you hang around the GB, you'll see people throwing out hurtful comments with a wink or kiss so they can pass their venom off as a joke if need be. I assumed that's what you were doing because there are so many ways to compliment someone without leaving any room for misinterpretation. If I wanted to compliment you for all of the threads you start, I'd PM or comment on how great your threads were in one of those threads; I wouldn't start a new thread with "How do we get aimouse to avoid that 'Post New Thread' button? I mean, doesn't he have anything better to do than start silly threads all day? " you know?

In the future, you may want to be aware that I don't care to be singled out in this particular way for several reasons; I expect that's true for many others here as well. This thread also inspired someone to PM me, questioning my motives for posting here, which I didn't really appreciate.

So, while you may have had good intentions, your behavior had some negative consequences for others; I think it's unfair to blame or label those of us who didn't get your aim or humor for having a lack of perception/sense because you didn't put enough forethought into how people might perceive it or what could come of it.

Anyway, I hope we can all learn something from this thread so misunderstandings are less likely in the future.

And AgonySceneGirl, I appreciate your apology, but didn't take your post negatively. I suspected you simply answered aimouse's question honestly, without the idea that it could be an insult or attempt to bait people into saying negative things about me. You don't seem as jaded as those of us who have been around the Lit block many times, and that's certainly something to enjoy while it lasts!

 

[intruder52]

SweetErika, I just love most of your posts, I am one of your fans Please keep posting away.

 

[Cathleen]

Thank you for your apology, aimouse.

Cate said exactly what I was thinking (right down to using specific words...freaky! ), so I'll avoid repeating that.

For my part, I DID try to read your post from many different perspectives and thought on it for quite sometime before I responded.

However, even with your explanation, I still have a lot of trouble seeing the humor and propriety of putting it here. What's funny to some can be offensive to others (racist/sexist/fat/etc. jokes are a good example of that, IMO). If you hang around the GB, you'll see people throwing out hurtful comments with a wink or kiss so they can pass their venom off as a joke if need be. I assumed that's what you were doing because there are so many ways to compliment someone without leaving any room for misinterpretation. If I wanted to compliment you for all of the threads you start, I'd PM or comment on how great your threads were in one of those threads; I wouldn't start a new thread with "How do we get aimouse to avoid that 'Post New Thread' button? I mean, doesn't he have anything better to do than start silly threads all day? " you know?

In the future, you may want to be aware that I don't care to be singled out in this particular way for several reasons; I expect that's true for many others here as well. This thread also inspired someone to PM me, questioning my motives for posting here, which I didn't really appreciate.

So, while you may have had good intentions, your behavior had some negative consequences for others; I think it's unfair to blame or label those of us who didn't get your aim or humor for having a lack of perception/sense because you didn't put enough forethought into how people might perceive it or what could come of it.

Anyway, I hope we can all learn something from this thread so misunderstandings are less likely in the future.

And AgonySceneGirl, I appreciate your apology, but didn't take your post negatively. I suspected you simply answered aimouse's question honestly, without the idea that it could be an insult or attempt to bait people into saying negative things about me. You don't seem as jaded as those of us who have been around the Lit block many times, and that's certainly something to enjoy while it lasts!

This is just one of reasons I you. You're bright, diligent and fair with your words. While most of my brain is some what giving him the benefit of the doubt I still think it was a passive-aggressive act.

Receiving PMs questioning you seems underhanded, perhaps he/she should have PMed aimouse in agreement. I'm sorry he/she felt the need to PM you ~ just seems uncouth to me.

 

[mjl2010]

One of the nuances of posts in threads, is you can't see the other persons body language. Therefore, many people, including myself, take words at face value.

You're welcome anywhere aimouse and if you meant it all tongue in cheek, I'm sorry for my comments.

MJL

 

[VelvetDarkness]

So, while you may have had good intentions, your behavior had some negative consequences for others; I think it's unfair to blame or label those of us who didn't get your aim or humor for having a lack of perception/sense because you didn't put enough forethought into how people might perceive it or what could come of it.

That's true. aimouse could have chosen to write things very differently.

While most of my brain is some what giving him the benefit of the doubt I still think it was a passive-aggressive act.

I am beginning to concur.

 

[In Anticipation]

. . . .

There I go again, posting SIX whole sentences!

I appreciate what you post, often you have taken the time to think about what to say, and have pre-empted me. I don't really have the time to check things over. My only problem with it is that I have to cut things down a bit if I quote you, hope you don't mind. The new button to go back to a quoted post makes me feel less guilty about that.

I thought aimouse created this thread as a joke.

Yes, saying out loud what some of us had only wondered.

I respect the fact that Erika does her homework when responding to a post, something I just don't have the time or the desire to do. She has certainly given a lot of good advice, most of which I agree with.

I concur.

I am a dedicated lurker ( sorry ) and I never ever skip a word that SweetErika has to say. She is the most thought out well resonded person on this site. I enjoy so many of you but none as much as her. Please SweetErika never change . You have done so so much good.

Less than one post a month is some dedicated lurking!

 

[cloudy]

How do you need to phrase a question to get a short answer out of SweetErika?

I mean, does the woman have nothing else to do with hur fingers other than type?
Does she never stop to play with her pussy?!

jealous because she obviously knows tons and tons more than you?

If not, you should be.

I always find her posts well thought out, non-judgmental and genuinely helpful. If that's not what you're looking for, then I would suggest you read/post somewhere besides the How To forum, Mr. Clueless.

 

[Chicago69]

I think the general gist of it is someone asks for advise and Erika responds with something constructive and helpful. Generally answering the question asked fully.

There's nothing wrong with that, only right things about someone who can care about a stranger.

Exactly how I see it.

 

[Mr.G]

I, too, hate to bump a useless thread

... but I don't believe I've EVER read a post that Erica has contributed that was insulting or bad advice. One "talent" she does have that I lack (or it diminishes with AGE) is she tolerates MORONS far better than I do. She is well read and she always uses proper English - another huge bonus when you're in a public forum is the ability to appear educated with proper spelling, sentence and paragraph structure.

She is usually a pleasure to read. Unlike some MORONS - whether he meant it as a joke or not.

My 9¢ (inflation adjusted for 2008) worth.

 

[emptynester]

One "talent" she does have that I lack (or it diminishes with AGE) is she tolerates MORONS far better than I do. Unlike some MORONS - whether he meant it as a joke or not..

I agree with you totally. She allows someone to express their opinion without picking apart their post, and comments without being condescending and rude.

If the goal is to get people to post more and lurk less, maybe it would help if they weren't made to feel belittled when they state an opinion, IMHO. On the other hand, some of us should be better at deciding where to post when we do come out of lurking.

Once again, sorry. I am not usually nasty. I am hoping to make a point without belittling anyone and without being condescending. Hope it is taken in the spirit it is intended.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree with you totally. She allows someone to express their opinion without picking apart their post, and comments without being condescending and rude.

I try to be cordial and sympathetic. Don't think nasty thoughts don't cross my mind, or come out sometimes, though.

And I'm sure there's a contingent that interprets many of my posts as condescending or otherwise irritating. I try to proofread for that kind of thing and hope it's not a large contingent, but I realize some people aren't going to like me or my style no matter what I do, and that's okay with me.

If the goal is to get pople to post more and lurk less, maybe it would help if they weren't made to feel belittled when they state an opinion, IMHO. On the other hand, some of us should be better at deciding where to post when we do come out of lurking.

This is an excellent point, and one of the reasons why I dislike this thread so much. A couple of years ago, we had a great thread for lurkers (I'm bumping it next), and I have no doubt there are just as many now as there were back then. If that's the case, I don't want to push them further into the shadows with the thought that they're likely to be attacked for contributing to this forum.

Because of that, I'm going to ask Aimouse to request this thread be removed, so it doesn't keep getting bumped and giving people the wrong impression. I hope no one takes that as a lack of appreciation for their kind words or support, because it's certainly not.

Once again, sorry. I am not usually nasty. I am hoping to make a point without belittling anyone and without being condescending. Hope it is taken in the spirit it is intended.

A little snark can be a good thing, and expressing your honest opinions without attacking is definitely a very good thing. I think anyone would be hard-pressed to find any evidence of you being nasty, EN!

 

[AgonySceneGirl]

i guess i could be considered a lurker.
Because i dont post very often. But i have a bit of a reason for it.
I'm HORRIBLE at giving advice. I'm horrible with wording what i mean to say. It always comes out like i'm being a bitch. So - i tend to keep my mouth shut and let others and people like Erika give the good advice and read what is written to learn myself.

and on a side note - my advice wouldnt be taken seriously really. My grammar sucks as well as my spelling. I certainly wouldnt take advice seriously if it were typed out with lack of grammar / correct spelling.

 

[SweetErika]

i guess i could be considered a lurker.
Because i dont post very often. But i have a bit of a reason for it.
I'm HORRIBLE at giving advice. I'm horrible with wording what i mean to say. It always comes out like i'm being a bitch. So - i tend to keep my mouth shut and let others and people like Erika give the good advice and read what is written to learn myself.

and on a side note - my advice wouldnt be taken seriously really. My grammar sucks as well as my spelling. I certainly wouldnt take advice seriously if it were typed out with lack of grammar / correct spelling.

I didn't think I had much to offer in terms of experience or advice when I found this board, either.

However, as time went on, I explored threads (The Blank Manual was a great start) and started to look up stuff I didn't know. I learned a ton and found myself being able to throw in an answer or experience here or there. At first, I didn't think I had enough experience or what I did have would help anyone, but I pushed myself to add to threads, and I was proven wrong.

I didn't come, and I don't stay, to give advice; I came and stay to learn, improve my skills and be part of a great community.

Writing, and everything that goes into it (spelling, grammar, phrasing, etc.) is one of those skills I continue to sharpen. When I read and post, I look up words, check spelling, grammar rules (e.g. how to use a certain type of punctuation) and try to think of/find synonyms for the words I want to use. I also pay attention to how people say things, and then practice phrasing things in similar ways. As a result, my writing has improved leaps and bounds.

I don't think your advice or writing are poor, difficult to follow or take seriously. It's clear you put thought and effort into your posts here, and that's what counts in my book. I DO think you'll gain a ton of knowledge and become a better writer by spending time here, making an effort to learn and simply practicing, if those are things you want to do.

As for spelling, the Firefox browser has a built-in spellchecker. When you misspell something, it underlines it in red, and you can just right-click on the word and select the correct spelling from the list.For Internet Explorer, you can download THIS free plug-in.

I've also found the free version of WordWeb to be awesome. You can highlight any word with your mouse, and press Ctrl then W to get definitions and synonyms for that word. Thanks to Quoll for that tip!

We all have different experience and skills, and they all have a place here. So don't be hesitant to post...you never know when what you've said is going to click for someone!