swedish

[ABluvr]

i am looking for stories that involve a swedish man, or any audio of a man from sweden with an accent. i am so in love with a man who i cannot have who is from sweden. his name is dan and i wish i could be with him but i cannot he doesnt even know i exist! i dont know if there are any stories already on here but please point me in the direction

 

[hotsnatch6]

i am looking for stories that involve a swedish man, or any audio of a man from sweden with an accent. i am so in love with a man who i cannot have who is from sweden. his name is dan and i wish i could be with him but i cannot he doesnt even know i exist! i dont know if there are any stories already on here but please point me in the direction

Dan had recently moved here from Stockholm. He was afraid at first that he would not enjoy living in America but he soon discovered that he could hear ABBA on the radio and that many places offered tiny meatballs as an appetizer. It didn’t take him long to get settled in and develop a new routine, but the one thing he longed for were the women of his native land. He missed the blonde hair, blue eyed beauties with giant hooters that he used to cavort with. Instead, he seemed stuck having to spend his time with the typical bourgeoisie women he had heard about from his friends.

His luck changed, however, when he met a new woman while out walking his Lapphund. He saw her bending over the newspaper stand, apparently having lost her quarter in the machine. He saw her glorious buttocks and he was immediately intrigued. So he walked over to help her out, secretly hoping for a chance to get her phone number as well. As he drew near, however, he began to sense that this lady was not very refined.

“Mother fucking piece of shit machine,” she exclaimed as she tried to open the door. “I’d give my left tit to find something that actually worked.”

Dan asked her if he could be of assistance, adding that it looked to him like she was having a bad day.

“You’re damn straight,” she responded. “I’ve been on edge all fucking morning because last night my vibrator crapped out right when I was about to cream. I’m beginning to think there’s a conspiracy of the machines against me.”

Dan began jiggling the lever and soon he had the newspaper freed. He presented it to the woman and asked if he could buy her a cup of coffee.

“Well, OK, since you seem like a true Swedish hunk. But don’t think that just because you did a good deed for me that you’ll be getting some nookie too. We American women don’t put out on the first date for every Lars, Sven or Henrik who comes along to give us the time of day.”

Soon they were back at the woman’s apartment and Dan was pleased to see that she had a genuine Gevalia coffee maker for her brew. As they sat sipping the pungent Java, Dan decided to make his move.

“I’d sure love to take you out some evening,” he offered. “I’ve always wanted to get to know a beautiful American woman such as yourself.”

“Slow down there, lover boy. I’ve seen tales of your homeland on Cinemax but don’t think you can just stroll in here talk me out of my pants so quickly. We Americans love to be charmed and wooed by our suitors.”

“I didn’t have anything like that in mind,” Dan reassured her. “I simply wanted to enjoy your company over a nice Smorgasboard and a glad of Svedka while we chatted.”

“Do you know any of that Swedish massage bullcrap?” the woman retorted. “My thighs have been aching all week and I’m supposed to go on a nature hike tomorrow. I sure need some relief.”

Dan assured her that he did and he set up a blanket and pillow on the floor for him to use as a working area. The woman changed into a bathrobe and reclined on the floor. But she had one last warning for Dan.

“If I feel your fingers begin to wander, I’ll kick you right in the balls. It’s my thighs that ache, not my ass or my boobs or my bush.”

Dan assured her that he was a perfect gentleman and had no intention of trying to violate her. He squirted some hot oil on her milky flesh and moved his fingers over the tense muscles.

“That better be massage oil and not your hot nut juice,” the woman said.

As Dan continued working her knots out, the woman began to really enjoy it.

“Damn, that’s good,” she said in approval. “Why don’t you move your hands just a little higher and rub there. But keep your fingers out of my crack or else you’ll be wearing your nuts for earrings when you leave here.”

As Dan moved his fingers up her thighs, he noticed that his arousal had become evident in his pants. His Scandanavian cock was hard and he felt it straining against his zipper. The woman too was becoming aroused, despite her gruff exterior. She was feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks. So she decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. She reached behind her and pulled her robe all the way up over her buttocks so that her new friend could see her full ass. Then she rolled over and spread her legs so that Dan could see her full bush on display and pouting lips protruding from beneath the furry exterior. Her clit was hard and it was evident as well as the moisture that had leaked out of her now moist snatch. She lifted her legs in the air, spreading herself wide open and made Dan an offer.

“Pound me, diddle me, give it to me good you Swedish studmuffin! You’ve been playing hard to get all day but now fuck me like I’m a Norwegian step child. Put your love Volvo inside my vulva and drive me like a dog sled team. I’m ready, baby, so bang your Swedish meatballs against my ass! I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is your Viking dong!”

Dan was definitely taken aback by this turn of events, but he had been in America for nine months without busting a nut so he went for it. He slid his Malmo member inside and began working it feverishly in and out. He was really giving it to her good and she was moaning with delight. After they both came together they decided to spend the afternoon shopping at Nordstrom’s and then had a quiet dinner of lutfisk with some Lingonberry jam for dessert.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

hotsnatch6, do you think your stereotypes make this "a story about a Sweedish man"? Also, many people have told you in the past that the Story Ideas board is not the place to "write" your stories. Submit them.

 

[hotsnatch6]

hotsnatch6, do you think your stereotypes make this "a story about a Sweedish man"? Also, many people have told you in the past that the Story Ideas board is not the place to "write" your stories. Submit them.

How else do you make it evident that the character is from a particular region? Simply stating his nationality is rather trite, don't you think?

Sorry to be such a bother on this board. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone's sensibilities. I'll take my ideas and go elsewhere.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

There's no need to be pissy. Frankly, that's childish. I've read several posts where people told you the rules. And, in the past, I've seen Risia "warn" people not to "post full stories here" and/or she has removed the threads/posts.

Anyway, if you know anything about the region, the people, physical traits, etc, then you describe the person AS THE STORY PROGRESSES instead of saying "everywhere he went in America he found those little meatballs around".

Stereotyping any race, background, religion, etc, is never a good idea. How many people would be pissed off at you if you said "Dan was from Africa and he was glad to see Americans walk the streets with baskets and water jugs on their head" or any other such thing that does happen in African tribes? Or Patty O'neal was happy to find a pub where he could get a fine ale on every street corner of "Irish Town, NY"?

 

[Englandboy2]

I personally like Hotsnatch's stories. Yes, the Swedishness is over-the-top but that's okay. Basically, it's a fun story, like all of her postings here. No-one is forced to read them, and they're relevant to the original thread, so I don't see any problem with them. It's at least entertaining, which is more than can be said for some of the petty bickering that goes on around here sometimes. I, myself, have posted large chunks of stories here, and I've had no negative feedback about it. I think we should all be encouraging eachother, unless the story genuinely offends in some way. Hotsnatch's stories invariably bring a smile to my face, and that has to be encouraged. Keep up the good work.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

Never once did I "insult" any writing snatch has. I was pointing out a site rule that others have pointed out. It is fact that Risia, the mod to this board, has taken action in the past.

Literotica is a literature web site. That's why they accept story submissions. Some of the discussion boards on this site also "allow" and welcome the posting of short stories straight to the board, but most do not.

Sites have rules and regulations for a reason - so they run smoothly. I can guarantee the Gen Board "regulars" would rip snatch apart for posting a story there. How To may ask "why is this post here?", same with Poetry Feedback. It's been proven countless times that this board is for the ideas of future stories here on Lit. People suggest/request what they'd like to see, and someone writes it up (and submits it to the site).

I never tried to offend snatch, but if my post was "bad" she may not want to see real feedback or scores to such stories if really submitted to the site.

 

[sxyhotwfe6649]

I personally like Hotsnatch's stories. Yes, the Swedishness is over-the-top but that's okay. Basically, it's a fun story, like all of her postings here. No-one is forced to read them, and they're relevant to the original thread, so I don't see any problem with them. It's at least entertaining, which is more than can be said for some of the petty bickering that goes on around here sometimes. I, myself, have posted large chunks of stories here, and I've had no negative feedback about it. I think we should all be encouraging eachother, unless the story genuinely offends in some way. Hotsnatch's stories invariably bring a smile to my face, and that has to be encouraged. Keep up the good work.

Good Show, Englandboy. I agree completely with your assessment. Her style seems to intentionally be over the top. I always get a kick out of her writing too. Where else will you find lines like "Drive your love Volvo into my vulva" or "Viking dong" or every "Lars, Sven and Henrik?"

As for whether or not posting whole stories is permitted here, that's a separate issue. They are rather short stories in comparison to many in the other forums. I don't think Bedtime Stories meant any disrespect but Hotsnatch definitely gets many of us thinking and laughing so I don't think she should be driven away either. It's having a variety to choose from which makes Literotica a neat place to visit and interact.

 

[Black_Dahlia]

Also a fan of the mighty Hotsnatch's work. For phrases like those mentioned above and many more, she can't be beaten. Yes. the Swedish guy's a stereotype, but there's a lot of good ideas in there too. Also, stereotypes are just shorthand, making it easier for the reader. Swedes come in all shapes and sizes, but most readers wouldn't want to read about a Swedish guy who looks like Morgan Freeman. We're much more comfortable with the big Viking guy with the blond hair and muscles. Otherwise, why make him Swedish in the first place?

 

[Fatwa_Morgana]

I thought it was hilarious!

 

[sxyhotwfe6649]

Hotsnatch, are you gone for good?

 

[lloydbon]

Dan had recently moved here from Stockholm. He was afraid at first that he would not enjoy living in America but he soon discovered that he could hear ABBA on the radio and that many places offered tiny meatballs as an appetizer. It didn’t take him long to get settled in and develop a new routine, but the one thing he longed for were the women of his native land. He missed the blonde hair, blue eyed beauties with giant hooters that he used to cavort with. Instead, he seemed stuck having to spend his time with the typical bourgeoisie women he had heard about from his friends.

His luck changed, however, when he met a new woman while out walking his Lapphund. He saw her bending over the newspaper stand, apparently having lost her quarter in the machine. He saw her glorious buttocks and he was immediately intrigued. So he walked over to help her out, secretly hoping for a chance to get her phone number as well. As he drew near, however, he began to sense that this lady was not very refined.

“Mother fucking piece of shit machine,” she exclaimed as she tried to open the door. “I’d give my left tit to find something that actually worked.”

Dan asked her if he could be of assistance, adding that it looked to him like she was having a bad day.

“You’re damn straight,” she responded. “I’ve been on edge all fucking morning because last night my vibrator crapped out right when I was about to cream. I’m beginning to think there’s a conspiracy of the machines against me.”

Dan began jiggling the lever and soon he had the newspaper freed. He presented it to the woman and asked if he could buy her a cup of coffee.

“Well, OK, since you seem like a true Swedish hunk. But don’t think that just because you did a good deed for me that you’ll be getting some nookie too. We American women don’t put out on the first date for every Lars, Sven or Henrik who comes along to give us the time of day.”

Soon they were back at the woman’s apartment and Dan was pleased to see that she had a genuine Gevalia coffee maker for her brew. As they sat sipping the pungent Java, Dan decided to make his move.

“I’d sure love to take you out some evening,” he offered. “I’ve always wanted to get to know a beautiful American woman such as yourself.”

“Slow down there, lover boy. I’ve seen tales of your homeland on Cinemax but don’t think you can just stroll in here talk me out of my pants so quickly. We Americans love to be charmed and wooed by our suitors.”

“I didn’t have anything like that in mind,” Dan reassured her. “I simply wanted to enjoy your company over a nice Smorgasboard and a glad of Svedka while we chatted.”

“Do you know any of that Swedish massage bullcrap?” the woman retorted. “My thighs have been aching all week and I’m supposed to go on a nature hike tomorrow. I sure need some relief.”

Dan assured her that he did and he set up a blanket and pillow on the floor for him to use as a working area. The woman changed into a bathrobe and reclined on the floor. But she had one last warning for Dan.

“If I feel your fingers begin to wander, I’ll kick you right in the balls. It’s my thighs that ache, not my ass or my boobs or my bush.”

Dan assured her that he was a perfect gentleman and had no intention of trying to violate her. He squirted some hot oil on her milky flesh and moved his fingers over the tense muscles.

“That better be massage oil and not your hot nut juice,” the woman said.

As Dan continued working her knots out, the woman began to really enjoy it.

“Damn, that’s good,” she said in approval. “Why don’t you move your hands just a little higher and rub there. But keep your fingers out of my crack or else you’ll be wearing your nuts for earrings when you leave here.”

As Dan moved his fingers up her thighs, he noticed that his arousal had become evident in his pants. His Scandanavian cock was hard and he felt it straining against his zipper. The woman too was becoming aroused, despite her gruff exterior. She was feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks. So she decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. She reached behind her and pulled her robe all the way up over her buttocks so that her new friend could see her full ass. Then she rolled over and spread her legs so that Dan could see her full bush on display and pouting lips protruding from beneath the furry exterior. Her clit was hard and it was evident as well as the moisture that had leaked out of her now moist snatch. She lifted her legs in the air, spreading herself wide open and made Dan an offer.

“Pound me, diddle me, give it to me good you Swedish studmuffin! You’ve been playing hard to get all day but now fuck me like I’m a Norwegian step child. Put your love Volvo inside my vulva and drive me like a dog sled team. I’m ready, baby, so bang your Swedish meatballs against my ass! I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is your Viking dong!”

Dan was definitely taken aback by this turn of events, but he had been in America for nine months without busting a nut so he went for it. He slid his Malmo member inside and began working it feverishly in and out. He was really giving it to her good and she was moaning with delight. After they both came together they decided to spend the afternoon shopping at Nordstrom’s and then had a quiet dinner of lutfisk with some Lingonberry jam for dessert.

Sweet jibblies! That was some tale.

 

[hotsnatch6]

Sweet jibblies! That was some tale.

Thank you very kindly.