Subs, be honest...do you ever cheat just a little?

[Cirrus]

I know there are other subs like myself who do not live with their Doms or see them as frequently as we would probably like. Also, like myself, I'm sure you are left with orders, instructions, or tasks.

A for instance...my Dom told me a few months ago that I was not to masturbate at all during his 2 and a half week vacation. I slipped, cheated, whatever you want to call it once about half way through.

I didn't tell him...I saw no need to. I realize others might for the sake of honesty and I respect and understand that, but I saw no harm done by not telling him. I hadn't been unfaithful to him with another man, I hadn't done anything that would harm our physical or emotional relationship (though telling him may have made him upset).

So, fellow submissives...have you ever done something similar? What instruction did you "cheat" on, and did you tell your dominant or not? Why did or didn't you?

 

[MissTaken]

I slipped once and told. The guilt ate away at me and I felt aht I should tell or would blurt it out.

In so doing, a discussion ensued that opened the door to greater understanding of one another.

This is just my experience though.

 

[artful]

To ALL

I slipped once and told. The guilt ate away at me and I felt aht I should tell or would blurt it out.

In so doing, a discussion ensued that opened the door to greater understanding of one another.

This is just my experience though.

The TRUTH will set you FREE. Isn't that what we ALL want,...to be FREE.

 

[~Dream~]

I FIND NO NEED

OR PLEASURE in lying and Ldr's are hard enuf as it is,why complicate matters?? I only know I need to learn to SPEAK UP WHEN I'm cumming as Master expects me too tho its very hard

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: I FIND NO NEED

OR PLEASURE in lying and Ldr's are hard enuf as it is,why complicate matters?? I only know I need to learn to SPEAK UP WHEN I'm cumming as Master expects me too tho its very hard

Oh Dream, I'm with ya on this one. I have the same problem, gets me in trouble just about every time. Of course it also doesn't help that his hearing isn't very good anymore (military is great for killing the hearing no matter what ear protection they wear). I practically have to yell it for him to hear me, and I'm not good at vocalizing anyway!!

Oh and so far I haven't "cheated" and not told. I can't seem to keep those things from him no matter what.


dixi

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: I FIND NO NEED

OR PLEASURE in lying and Ldr's are hard enuf as it is,why complicate matters?? I only know I need to learn to SPEAK UP WHEN I'm cumming as Master expects me too tho its very hard

So I guess "OH MY GOD!!!" is not enough? LOL

Sis

 

[artful]

Re: Re: I FIND NO NEED

So I guess "OH MY GOD!!!" is not enough? LOL

Sis

LMFAO with Sis,...ordinarily it would be,...but as she experienced NEW sensations a number of times,
I was pleased to hear,..."OH MY GOD" often when she wasn't ACTUALLY cumming.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: I FIND NO NEED

So I guess "OH MY GOD!!!" is not enough? LOL

Sis

~~~~~~~~LMAO. Brings to mind maybe reciting the Gettysburg address, instead.
Rose

 

[SexyChele]

In skin to skin I never have. I'm a terrible liar in person, and as soon as the question, "Did you do as I asked?" is put to me, I'd give myself away.

Online? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes I told, just to see what sort of "punishment" he could come up with. Sometimes I just shrugged it off. What difference did it truly make, anyway?

But, as I've shared before: I do not take online BDSM or LDRs all that seriously. They are play to me, not the real deal. (a LDR could become "real", I suppose, but I'll cross that bridge if I ever come to it) I figure if I'm "cheating", he probably is as well. So we really are "even", in my eyes.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Re: I FIND NO NEED

LMFAO with Sis,...ordinarily it would be,...but as she experienced NEW sensations a number of times,
I was pleased to hear,..."OH MY GOD" often when she wasn't ACTUALLY cumming.

I CANT even begin to count the NUMBER of times I said THOSE words either!! so many NEW sensations..only 3 words kept escaping my lips >"OH MY GOD!!"

 

[MissTaken]

"Oh My God"

indicative of the fact that phone play is a relgious experience?

 

[mskittykatt]

i cheated once too

the same situation - i was not supposed to masturbate, and i did. i did tell - because i promised honesty above all else, and my punishment was that i had to call and ask my friend for a 70 swat paddling, (which was my reward for being honest) and had to tell her *why* i had to ask, and in detail explaining to her why i disobeyed...(which was the punishment part) because although she knew of my relationship and is into BDSM herself (switch) it was still hard to call and ask for punishment!!

 

[Quint]

Ooh, I like that one, MsKitty!

Been through this many a time. Illicitly masturbated a lot; usually told. Again, I didn't feel "intimidated" enough by Hunny to really care too much about obeying him, which I cringe to think about now. It really was a game then. Now I'm definitely more involved, more into it, and so a.) I resist the urges to cheat much easier, and b.) I report said indiscretions immediately. I gotta admit that like Chele, sometimes I do kind of want to see what sort of punishment I'll get, but amazingly I've stopped disobeying FOR that punishment.

Quint "There's hope for her yet!"

 

[Guest]

In skin to skin I never have. I'm a terrible liar in person, and as soon as the question, "Did you do as I asked?" is put to me, I'd give myself away.

Online? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes I told, just to see what sort of "punishment" he could come up with. Sometimes I just shrugged it off. What difference did it truly make, anyway?

But, as I've shared before: I do not take online BDSM or LDRs all that seriously. They are play to me, not the real deal. (a LDR could become "real", I suppose, but I'll cross that bridge if I ever come to it) I figure if I'm "cheating", he probably is as well. So we really are "even", in my eyes.

Dear SexyChele,

I do take my online BDSM relationship seriously and I do my assignments as I am told. Regarding "he is probably cheating as well." I must say I do agree. Miles apart we are and how do I know that he is being as truthful as I?

We have our needs and if our Masters/Mistresses deprive us of them then doesn’t that make us unhappy? I have cheated once, but I have not told my Master ~ he will find out in time once he reads my journal. I was told not to play for 24 days…24 days went by and was told again not to play until he sees fit. This girl had needs a total of 43 days with no masturbation `sigh` I couldn’t go any longer so took out my rabbit and played like there was no tomorrow!


Be well & safe respectfully,

lily

 

[SempreAngela]

I was a sub one time in my life. I went from being a domme to being a sub. It did not suit me. I cheated on my "master" and not just by masturbating. I found that I could not change who I was nor my personality, it was a mistake and I regret that I hurt him by trying to change myself.

I can say this. A true sub has no secrets from her master and he gave you instructions for a reason. I can guess what they were but perhaps you should ask him why he gave those instructions. If total honesty and trust are there, you would not have dismissed his instructions. Being a sub is all about trust and honesy as well as obeying. I really think you should talk to your master. *shrug* Just my opinion, I have been on both sides of the fence. Best of luck.

 

[AnonymousSlave]

Cheat? very interesting subject...



In reading these posts it seems that our Masters/Doms in general all like to take away our self stimulation time.
my Master also takes away my self-playtime.

When He says, "no toys" then it's no toys for me.
When He says, "no masturbation" then it's no masturbation for me.

i cannot lie to Him. Besides He has a key, and with my luck and His timing, He'd walk in and catch me. i've come close though, more than once (more than twice). With thoughts ranging from 'if He doesn't ask i won't tell' to 'it'll only be this once', but each time that i've come close... i can't, i stop... i know i couldn't deal with the guilt. And the guilt alone would cause me to confess without even being asked.

This relationship is based on trust, i choose to maintain that.
All in all, Master only asks for only one thing... my obedience. i do my best to give Him that.

 

[A Desert Rose]

yes I cheated

and when I had to own up to it, because he would always ask and I could not lie to him, I felt so bad at disappointing him.

I tried to obey. Once in a while I faultered.
Rose

 

[cellis]

I have not cheated, there is no reason to.

Himself does not live with me and we have a relationship where we may only see each other once or twice a week due to our schedules.

In fact, he may tell me not to masturbate and I won't. But it is never longer than 3 or 4 days. It is more psychological for me, because he knows that I might not masturbate for the days between when we see each other, but if he tells me not to, then it increases my need to do so. It increases my excitement level and keeps me on the edge which we both like.

I can also say that Himself would never tell me not to masturbate for a month or more. He would consider that cruel and so would I, and he is not cruel.

 

[artful]

Re: yes I cheated

and when I had to own up to it, because he would always ask and I could not lie to him, I felt so bad at disappointing him.

I tried to obey. Once in a while I faultered.
Rose

Until there is a "Well Establihed" relationship,...and even THEN, it happens ALL too often. The task or instruction is just too damn MUCH to ask for.

USUALLY,...it's not the subs fault at ALL,...it's the Dom/mes fault. I know I have been guilty of it in the past,...and I may fuck up again,...but I try not to.

That is why I urge ALL to take their time,... exercise patience,...learn and enjoy building the relationship.

Dream and I have hardly begun her training, but I am not concerned about it,...I want her to UNDERSTAND where we are going,...and I want to learn a LOT more about her, before I start pushing her limits.

Often,...ONE mistake in the beginning can RUIN an otherwise successful partnership. One lie,...one deceiptful act, and I get out of the relationship, (and that's why I don't push hard).

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Interesting point Art

regarding limits. I was not allowed to have limits with my previous Dom. And no matter how I tried to talk to him about this, it was all about his needs and desires. What did that make me?
Was a really a sub? a slave? What was I? Mostly I think I was his slut and nothing more....

Rose

 

[artful]

Re: Interesting point Art

regarding limits. I was not allowed to have limits with my previous Dom. And no matter how I tried to talk to him about this, it was all about his needs and desires. What did that make me?
Was a really a sub? a slave? What was I? Mostly I think I was his slut and nothing more....

Rose

Simply put,...you were ABUSED !

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Interesting point Art

Simply put,...you were ABUSED !

Yes, I guess sad but true.......I can make excuses for his behavior all night but bottom line is, I don't think he ever cared really.

Rose

 

[SexyChele]

Dear SexyChele,

I do take my online BDSM relationship seriously and I do my assignments as I am told. Regarding "he is probably cheating as well." I must say I do agree. Miles apart we are and how do I know that he is being as truthful as I?

We have our needs and if our Masters/Mistresses deprive us of them then doesn’t that make us unhappy? I have cheated once, but I have not told my Master ~ he will find out in time once he reads my journal. I was told not to play for 24 days…24 days went by and was told again not to play until he sees fit. This girl had needs a total of 43 days with no masturbation `sigh` I couldn’t go any longer so took out my rabbit and played like there was no tomorrow!


Be well & safe respectfully,

lily

First of all, for anyone reading this, what I feel about online BDSM relationships is my OWN opinion. I do not expect all to say - "Yeah, that Chele, she is right one about that stuff." If you are involved in an online BDSM relationship, and it's working for you, hey, I'll be the first one to wish you well and hope all works out well!

I did the online thing last year. I had fun. It was different. And when it ended, neither of us felt badly. (We are still very good friends to this day) The online thing didn't work for me, in a serious way. That doesn't mean it doesn't work for anybody. It's my own life experience and how I feel.

Lily, I have heard of online Doms having subs withhold their pleasure for extreme amounts of time, and I, frankly, am very opposed to it. Yes, my online Dom used to restrict my self-pleasure - but normally only for a few days at the most. Once it was for a week. Just for the record, I consider an extreme time to be a period of longer than 2 weeks.

Why is this? Because it is online. If the Dom were there, in person, you would be able to still enjoy his company, be near him, feel him sleeping with you. He may still deny you self-pleasure, yes. But there would be playtime, and he would still be getting pleasure with you. You just wouldn't be able to masturbate.

That is a whole hell of a lot different from some woman, sitting in front of a computer screen, going crazy because she can't get herself off for over a month. And she isn't supposed to have sex with any one else either! It's INSANE! I've even heard of online Doms not wanting their subs to engage in physical intimacy with boyfriends or spouses for long periods of time. C R A Z Y !!!

I apologize in advance to any who are in online relationships, but if a Dom is telling a sub, online, that she must withhold sexual pleasure for over a month, without any sexual contact of any kind, then he is a twerp. Now, why do I feel so strongly about this? Because after the allotted time is up, normally the sub had "permission" to masturbate. ???? I mean, I could understand if the couple decided to meet after that time - hell the sub would be all over him! But to tell a woman she has to wait for sexual pleasure - any sexual pleasure - for over a month, and when it's concluded, she gets to use her vibrator? Sorry, but that is one loser dude, in my book. And therefore, not necessarily deserving of my complete and utter obedience.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now - sorry to have interrupted the thread!

 

[cellis]

Re: Interesting point Art

regarding limits. I was not allowed to have limits with my previous Dom. And no matter how I tried to talk to him about this, it was all about his needs and desires. What did that make me?
Was a really a sub? a slave? What was I? Mostly I think I was his slut and nothing more....

Rose

Desert Rose... when I read and hear things like this, it makes me so happy that I found Himself in the world. I do not know how we found each other, but I am thankful everyday that I am his.

Today we had a conversation, the content of which was not important, but the outcome is. Basically, it boiled down to me wanting to do something to please him and his getting his pleasure from pleasing me. I guess in a way it speaks to the fact that I am important enough to him that my pleasure is important... in fact, he will tell you that my every orgasm belongs to him, as I, myself do.

Because we have a trust between us that neither of us has ever experienced before, cheating is not an option. What is the point of it. I don't act out for punishment, because Himself doesn't punish me. He gives me what I need. I view cheating as a lack of trust... and more than anything I know that I can trust him.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I agree with most everything you said, Chele.
Rose