Subs and Doms

[playdelicious]

Hello. Posted this in the general section and so many said to put it here. Thanks!!

MAJKA sent me here. We recently met online. MAJKA has been extremely kind and generous in writing to me, offering me advice and she suggested that I post here, that people might remember her (she didn't know, said it's been a while since she was playing here) and/or be helpful, connect with me too...

I'm going to be honest, I don't really know what Subs do and what they want from their Dom, but want to learn:

I'm so curious about your life style, your fantasies and submissive desires. What's it like?? How did you start? What turns you on? What's the difference between being a sub and a slave?

Learning to be an experienced Dom facinates me.

Actually it excites me. I've thought about it for years. I like being in controll. It seems all the ads from single or married subs are looking for an experienced Dom, a secret relationship where they can ruly be themselves.

How do I learn to be a knowledgeable and experienced Dom?
Do you have any tips or suggestions?

The thought of finding a single or married girl who is new to this too and wants to learn to be my sub totally turns me on. Any suggestions on how do I find someone?
OR.. are there subs who like to teach someone to be a Dom?

Thanks for reading my post and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

 

[Cherry]

Originally started on the GB and redirected to BDSM:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=278060&perpage=25&pagenumber=1


Any of you care to comment on my assertion that Doms/Dommes are predisposed to the role based on their natural alpha psyche?

 

[catalina_francisco]

My suggestion would b to start reading and keep on reading and reading for a long while.

The library sticky is a good place to start.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=266656

Francisco.

 

[playdelicious]

Thank you for your kind response and suggestions. I continue to read & learn from others. Several subs I've emailed with told me it took them months or years to find the right dom to be with. I am willing to learn, seeking teachers, depth of mind and am patient as a river flowing through a long valley before it reaches the next set of falls.
PD

 

[rosco rathbone]

If you think back on your sexual and romantic history, you will more than likely recall some instances of domination.

Read, learn and all that stuff, but realize that you already are whatever it is that you are.

 

[princess4u]

Originally started on the GB and redirected to BDSM:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=278060&perpage=25&pagenumber=1


Any of you care to comment on my assertion that Doms/Dommes are predisposed to the role based on their natural alpha psyche?

i agree with what you wrote in the original thread -
i tend to think that most dom/mes have a natural alpha psyche

speaking of my own Master, he is definitely an alpha male:
successful, confident, natural leader, intelligent -
he is accountable to himself not only for himself
but for the level to which he can raise his submissive -
he is motivational and validating and will not allow
unproductive behavior patterns...

he does not consider that he "became" a dom
but rather he had the traits that indicated
to him that he was in fact a natural dom

 

[Cherry]

he does not consider that he "became" a dom
but rather he had the traits that indicated
to him that he was in fact a natural dom

Exactly! That was my whole point.
Thank you for taking the time to research the original thread and understand what I was saying.

I use to say that I could spot a dominant male a mile away running.

They're just such magnificent creatures, yes?

 

[kitty4ever]

Well, I am an alpha female, but I am not a Domme. I am a submissive. There are other alpha's, both male and female here, who are also submissives. Alpha does not mean Dom/me. Dom/mes may be alphas, and I say may be because I don't believe it's as clear cut as that.

 

[Cherry]

Well, I am an alpha female, but I am not a Domme. I am a submissive. There are other alpha's, both male and female here, who are also submissives. Alpha does not mean Dom/me. Dom/mes may be alphas, and I say may be because I don't believe it's as clear cut as that.

You've reversed what I initially said though.

I didn't say that alpha psyche people are all Dom/Dommes.

Instead I maintained that "that Doms/Dommes are predisposed to the role based on their natural alpha psyche".

Quite differently, really.

 

[Vixandra]

"that Doms/Dommes are predisposed to the role based on their natural alpha psyche".

Not nessesarily. Not all Dom/mes are alpha (though its a rarity for one not to be) and certainly not all alphas are dom/mes.
Quite a few alpha switches out there, far as I can tell.


Play- I'd advise finding a Dom/me and being a sort of "understudy" or trainee under them to learn the proverbial ropes.

Yeah, I know, I'm a big safety person though. Safe words, circulation checks, that kind of thing.

 

[princess4u]

Exactly! That was my whole point.
Thank you for taking the time to research the original thread and understand what I was saying.

I use to say that I could spot a dominant male a mile away running.

They're just such magnificent creatures, yes?

yes >>>>sigh<<<<

 

[princess4u]

Well, I am an alpha female, but I am not a Domme. I am a submissive. There are other alpha's, both male and female here, who are also submissives. Alpha does not mean Dom/me. Dom/mes may be alphas, and I say may be because I don't believe it's as clear cut as that.

it is not that all alpha types are doms -
but rather most doms are alpha types -
there's a big difference between those two statements

 

[shy slave]

You've reversed what I initially said though.

I didn't say that alpha psyche people are all Dom/Dommes.

Instead I maintained that "that Doms/Dommes are predisposed to the role based on their natural alpha psyche".

Quite differently, really.

This made me realise that if all alpha people were Dom/Mes then there would be more people into BDSM than anyone will ever admit.

Sadly some alpha people are bullies not Dom/Mes, then again I guess some ill-informed Dom/mes may also be bullies *sigh*

The human psyche is a complex thing.

I consider myself to be an alpha female who is a submissive for the right person.

Playdelicious I admire you for looking for a mentor or teacher before setting of on your journey.

I think I read somewhere on here that it used to be expected that any would Dom/Me would train with another and be a sub to them (not sure but seem to think it was Richard49 who said it).

Have you thought about finding out about local munches?

Like anything you need to decide what is the best way forward for you to learn and develop.

I wish you well in your endevours and welcome to the BDSM boards x