E
esclave_PP
Guest
I was going through some old email and I found this assignment that I had written for Master back in May. Also, I wanted to share some great news, Master and I are living together! The Master you might know as PhoenixPrime01 here, is my Master. We've been together just shy of two years (thanks to Lit for our meeting!). Anyway, here is what he wanted me to answer, and I would love to hear how others do too.
“Assignment: Tomorrow I wish you to use Word then copy and paste to an email just how much you long and live to obey me and serve me in any way I wish and choose to have you serve or service me.”
Title: How do I serve thee? Let me count the ways…
What is longing? Webster’s defines it as “prolonged unfulfilled desire or need.” Bearing that in mind, how much do I long to live to obey you and serve you in any way you wish or choose? It is something that I cannot possibly quantify. It is the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, last when I go to sleep, even when I dream. The thing is, I will always have this longing; I will always want to strive to please you, to do so with all my available abilities. It is ingrained in me to do so. I can’t fathom being any other way. This might make me a ‘natural’ submissive/slave, but I still don’t understand totally what that means -- not in the broader sense at least.
This longing is never ending. It is like when our eyes blink, or we breathe in to take a breath – it is done involuntarily, without hesitation. That is how I view my servitude and position – to serve/service you like that – without hesitation – without having even to think – just do, feel, experience and feel grateful for the gifts of pain, the gifts of pleasure.
There are three fundamental ways that I serve/service you: Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically. Each has its own special attributes, each coexists with the other, but it is how it affects us as a Top and Bottom that makes it fascinating. It is how each enhances the next, creating a beautiful experience.
Emotionally: A mere command from you triggers emotional responses in me that I cannot control. It triggers the body you own – breath grows fast, shallow, your nipples harden in anticipation, your cunt starts to get wet and your clit starts to throb. The emotions manifest and increase, longing, desire, arousal, and my mind starts to race; the deep need to please you, watch your reactions to make sure I am doing so become even more pronounced.
Another aspect for emotionally serving you is making sure you’re all right and being aware of your moods, comforting you, making you feel all right. This can be accomplished by massage, caressing, talking, and even making you laugh and smile. Your emotional state is ‘key’ to how my emotions will be and how I react during a given day. If you’re down, I can’t help but become down too, and rather than that happening, I try and figure out a way to combat that, and turn it around so you aren’t feeling depressed. Perhaps that is trying too hard, but it seems to work most of the time.
In addition, another emotional aspect or result rather of your commands is the driving force to obey, and it isn’t just because I would be punished if I didn’t, it is because I would disappoint you, and feeling that disappointment is almost as bad as being ignored. I imagine at times I am harder on myself than I need to be. That displeasure that you feel makes my stomach twist and drop. I cannot bear it – it hurts too much. So, that is why I always try to obey. There might be times I slip, but it is never intentional or with malice.
Mentally: This is perhaps one of the harder attributes to pin down and discuss. Take mental bondage for example. Being told not to move for fear of the gifts of pain/pleasure ending and/or punishment is so specific, so forceful that it takes over emotional and physical reactions. It is as if someone has nailed my feet to the floor (or whatever position you put me into). It isn’t fear per se – again it is not disappointing you.
Mental servitude isn’t necessarily a Top giving a Bottom mind fucks or games but they have their place and fun too, if not harmful. Your actions, words, touches, pinches, your smile, your winks, wiggling of your eyebrows all affect me on a mental level. It is almost like recharging a battery. When we connect mentally, it is almost like I feel we are connected on a cosmic level – like when we say things at the same time, or finish each other’s sentences.
Mental servitude, I believe, is where the slave’s attitude comes into play and how she goes about serving/servicing. I don’t know why I am wired the way I am. It just feels right. Mentally if I don’t act the way I do, I feel strange, out of place; I don’t mentally feel right.
A lot of D/s is mental as well as physical. I believe in my heart that this is where trust comes in. Without trust, which is really more mental than emotional, there is no basis for a D/s relationship. I trust you more than I have trusted anyone in my life. You have made that possible because of whom you are, the way you are, how we mesh intrinsically. It is these mental similarities (our likes of dark twisted things, what we share when we write, etc) that create passion, longing, a sense of togetherness and belonging.
I truly feel that I belong to you – am really owned by you in all senses of the word, ‘owned.’ One advantage of this is the writing we do together. This is mentally challenging, but at the same time allows me to share something intimate with you, that is born from ‘us.’ It is ours, our creation and that is stimulating to me. Writing with you is another example of service.
Physically: This is perhaps the largest area to discuss because this is where ‘play’ comes in as well as daily domestic servitude. So I am going to divide this into two attributes: Domestic service and physical play.
Domestic service: This spans everything to helping you dress, washing you in the shower, taking off your clothes at night, bathing you in the bath, cooking your meals, washing dishes, doing laundry, taking care of any task that needs doing. Not only do I not mind doing these things, it gives me great pleasure to do so because ultimately, I am doing them for you, making your life easier and more relaxed.
It is nice to do this for a person, especially my Master, whom appreciates it and knows that my submission to him means something and doesn’t take these actions for granted. Again, I do these tasks, often without even asking to do them because I see these aspects as part of my being, my job, my service to you, to show my gratitude and thanks for having an incredible Owner.
Physical Play: As in most D/s relationships (not all but most) physical play is a huge chunk of service/servitude. My body is yours. You own it. It is yours to do with as you wish, whenever, however you desire. That alone excites me beyond any measure. It is the idea of having and being completely surrendered to you, to belong, to be property; it really does have specific meaning, and ties into the emotional and mental aspects of course.
I adore being your fucktoy, your cumslut, piss drinker, ass licker, tongue fucker, whore, plaything, canvas, you name it; I want to be it because it is for you. I literally live to serve and service you. My life has no meaning without you in it. Even if that sounds trite, it isn’t, I mean it. What meaning do I have, as a slave if I don’t have a Master to serve, especially a worthy one such as you.
Even now, as I rock back and forth on the dildo you commanded me to sit on top of, all the physical things I mentioned above are fully operational – wet cunt, hard nipples, throbbing clit, fast and shallow breath. Not being able to release is hard but I am able to control it. I am able to turn it off at will, but the physical traits still linger. The mental signs of subspace, of being yours, of drifting into the paths of pleasure and pain create bliss.
To physically serve you means to also physically please you. Whether this is in play, making my body trim and fit, suckling your cock, licking your ass, tongue-fucking your ass, sucking on your balls, kissing you, hugging you, cuddling with you, just being with you, my presence is my service. When I am not with you physically I feel somewhat lost. Even though mentally, emotionally, I know you’re with me all the time, it just isn’t the same. For me, my own physical pleasure does not rank as high as making sure you’re pleased. Even if you decide not to gift me with pain or pleasure, I will still be content and happy knowing that you are. It isn’t that I wouldn’t like that, of course I would, but for me, the act of serving, pleasing is what fulfills me.
Conclusion: Longing. Desire. Pleasing. Serving. Waiting to be awoken. Waking. Discovering. Belonging. Owned. Bliss. My being trembles. Riding the Waves. Sinking into your eyes -- your eyes are all I see. Your love is an ocean. Waiting for the time when we can be alone together -- alone together – Eternally.
“Assignment: Tomorrow I wish you to use Word then copy and paste to an email just how much you long and live to obey me and serve me in any way I wish and choose to have you serve or service me.”
Title: How do I serve thee? Let me count the ways…
What is longing? Webster’s defines it as “prolonged unfulfilled desire or need.” Bearing that in mind, how much do I long to live to obey you and serve you in any way you wish or choose? It is something that I cannot possibly quantify. It is the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, last when I go to sleep, even when I dream. The thing is, I will always have this longing; I will always want to strive to please you, to do so with all my available abilities. It is ingrained in me to do so. I can’t fathom being any other way. This might make me a ‘natural’ submissive/slave, but I still don’t understand totally what that means -- not in the broader sense at least.
This longing is never ending. It is like when our eyes blink, or we breathe in to take a breath – it is done involuntarily, without hesitation. That is how I view my servitude and position – to serve/service you like that – without hesitation – without having even to think – just do, feel, experience and feel grateful for the gifts of pain, the gifts of pleasure.
There are three fundamental ways that I serve/service you: Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically. Each has its own special attributes, each coexists with the other, but it is how it affects us as a Top and Bottom that makes it fascinating. It is how each enhances the next, creating a beautiful experience.
Emotionally: A mere command from you triggers emotional responses in me that I cannot control. It triggers the body you own – breath grows fast, shallow, your nipples harden in anticipation, your cunt starts to get wet and your clit starts to throb. The emotions manifest and increase, longing, desire, arousal, and my mind starts to race; the deep need to please you, watch your reactions to make sure I am doing so become even more pronounced.
Another aspect for emotionally serving you is making sure you’re all right and being aware of your moods, comforting you, making you feel all right. This can be accomplished by massage, caressing, talking, and even making you laugh and smile. Your emotional state is ‘key’ to how my emotions will be and how I react during a given day. If you’re down, I can’t help but become down too, and rather than that happening, I try and figure out a way to combat that, and turn it around so you aren’t feeling depressed. Perhaps that is trying too hard, but it seems to work most of the time.
In addition, another emotional aspect or result rather of your commands is the driving force to obey, and it isn’t just because I would be punished if I didn’t, it is because I would disappoint you, and feeling that disappointment is almost as bad as being ignored. I imagine at times I am harder on myself than I need to be. That displeasure that you feel makes my stomach twist and drop. I cannot bear it – it hurts too much. So, that is why I always try to obey. There might be times I slip, but it is never intentional or with malice.
Mentally: This is perhaps one of the harder attributes to pin down and discuss. Take mental bondage for example. Being told not to move for fear of the gifts of pain/pleasure ending and/or punishment is so specific, so forceful that it takes over emotional and physical reactions. It is as if someone has nailed my feet to the floor (or whatever position you put me into). It isn’t fear per se – again it is not disappointing you.
Mental servitude isn’t necessarily a Top giving a Bottom mind fucks or games but they have their place and fun too, if not harmful. Your actions, words, touches, pinches, your smile, your winks, wiggling of your eyebrows all affect me on a mental level. It is almost like recharging a battery. When we connect mentally, it is almost like I feel we are connected on a cosmic level – like when we say things at the same time, or finish each other’s sentences.
Mental servitude, I believe, is where the slave’s attitude comes into play and how she goes about serving/servicing. I don’t know why I am wired the way I am. It just feels right. Mentally if I don’t act the way I do, I feel strange, out of place; I don’t mentally feel right.
A lot of D/s is mental as well as physical. I believe in my heart that this is where trust comes in. Without trust, which is really more mental than emotional, there is no basis for a D/s relationship. I trust you more than I have trusted anyone in my life. You have made that possible because of whom you are, the way you are, how we mesh intrinsically. It is these mental similarities (our likes of dark twisted things, what we share when we write, etc) that create passion, longing, a sense of togetherness and belonging.
I truly feel that I belong to you – am really owned by you in all senses of the word, ‘owned.’ One advantage of this is the writing we do together. This is mentally challenging, but at the same time allows me to share something intimate with you, that is born from ‘us.’ It is ours, our creation and that is stimulating to me. Writing with you is another example of service.
Physically: This is perhaps the largest area to discuss because this is where ‘play’ comes in as well as daily domestic servitude. So I am going to divide this into two attributes: Domestic service and physical play.
Domestic service: This spans everything to helping you dress, washing you in the shower, taking off your clothes at night, bathing you in the bath, cooking your meals, washing dishes, doing laundry, taking care of any task that needs doing. Not only do I not mind doing these things, it gives me great pleasure to do so because ultimately, I am doing them for you, making your life easier and more relaxed.
It is nice to do this for a person, especially my Master, whom appreciates it and knows that my submission to him means something and doesn’t take these actions for granted. Again, I do these tasks, often without even asking to do them because I see these aspects as part of my being, my job, my service to you, to show my gratitude and thanks for having an incredible Owner.
Physical Play: As in most D/s relationships (not all but most) physical play is a huge chunk of service/servitude. My body is yours. You own it. It is yours to do with as you wish, whenever, however you desire. That alone excites me beyond any measure. It is the idea of having and being completely surrendered to you, to belong, to be property; it really does have specific meaning, and ties into the emotional and mental aspects of course.
I adore being your fucktoy, your cumslut, piss drinker, ass licker, tongue fucker, whore, plaything, canvas, you name it; I want to be it because it is for you. I literally live to serve and service you. My life has no meaning without you in it. Even if that sounds trite, it isn’t, I mean it. What meaning do I have, as a slave if I don’t have a Master to serve, especially a worthy one such as you.
Even now, as I rock back and forth on the dildo you commanded me to sit on top of, all the physical things I mentioned above are fully operational – wet cunt, hard nipples, throbbing clit, fast and shallow breath. Not being able to release is hard but I am able to control it. I am able to turn it off at will, but the physical traits still linger. The mental signs of subspace, of being yours, of drifting into the paths of pleasure and pain create bliss.
To physically serve you means to also physically please you. Whether this is in play, making my body trim and fit, suckling your cock, licking your ass, tongue-fucking your ass, sucking on your balls, kissing you, hugging you, cuddling with you, just being with you, my presence is my service. When I am not with you physically I feel somewhat lost. Even though mentally, emotionally, I know you’re with me all the time, it just isn’t the same. For me, my own physical pleasure does not rank as high as making sure you’re pleased. Even if you decide not to gift me with pain or pleasure, I will still be content and happy knowing that you are. It isn’t that I wouldn’t like that, of course I would, but for me, the act of serving, pleasing is what fulfills me.
Conclusion: Longing. Desire. Pleasing. Serving. Waiting to be awoken. Waking. Discovering. Belonging. Owned. Bliss. My being trembles. Riding the Waves. Sinking into your eyes -- your eyes are all I see. Your love is an ocean. Waiting for the time when we can be alone together -- alone together – Eternally.
