Sub/Dom Census

[inferiormale]

Hi people,

I was wondering what peoples' impressions are about the number of Subs out there versus Doms. My impression is that there are far more Sub males looking for Dom females than there are Dom females looking for Sub males. I hope I'm wrong. I also think there are far more Dom males looking for Sub females than there are Sub females looking for Dom males.

I'm pretty new to this stuff. I may be full of it. I would like to know what others think of this.

Also, does anyone have a sense as to how many in the scene like both roles? Or, how many Gay Doms v. Gay Subs there are?

Appreciate any input.
IM

ps: sorry if I sould too analytical.

 

[MissTaken]

If you are talking about lit members, you would likely never get an accurate count. Many in the lifestyle read the threads and say hello once in a while, but otherwise remain private.

I would say this applies to subs and Doms/mes alike.

Perhaps I am mistaken.

Good Luck with your search.

 

[petrel]

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=76122

try this one for a quick straw poll

 

[Richard49]

I am a dom.

Petrel.... your AV is wonderful...thanks for the heads up on poll.

I have found more who "claim" to be Doms than then I have found subs.

Richard
Dom in Michigan

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hmmmm

I am a dom.

Petrel.... your AV is wonderful...thanks for the heads up on poll.

I have found more who "claim" to be Doms than then I have found subs.

Richard
Dom in Michigan

It seems to me that there are more submissives (male or female) than there are Dominants on Lit.

Ebony

 

[Richard49]

Re: Hmmmm

It seems to me that there are more submissives (male or female) than there are Dominants on Lit.

Ebony

Maybe I am looking in wrong place <smile>

Want to give me some direction?

 

[AnonymousSlave]

Hmmm


call me silly but i think the best way to find out just who is looking for whom would be the personals
for some of us (and yes i'm speaking of myself here) we aren't "looking", some of us have already found what we need.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Hmmm

call me silly but i think the best way to find out just who is looking for whom would be the personals
for some of us (and yes i'm speaking of myself here) we aren't "looking", some of us have already found what we need.

and some of us found them...had them...and than lost them

Cyndi and I were together for 13 years

Richard
Dom from Michigan

 

[AnonymousSlave]

Hmmm


Richard,
I'm truely sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[James Blandings]

Hi people,

I was wondering what peoples' impressions are about the number of Subs out there versus Doms. My impression is that there are far more Sub males looking for Dom females than there are Dom females looking for Sub males. I hope I'm wrong. I also think there are far more Dom males looking for Sub females than there are Sub females looking for Dom males.

I'm pretty new to this stuff. I may be full of it. I would like to know what others think of this.

Also, does anyone have a sense as to how many in the scene like both roles? Or, how many Gay Doms v. Gay Subs there are?

Appreciate any input.
IM

ps: sorry if I sould too analytical.

Before so many people discovered BDSM through the internet, it was commonly considered that male submisives consistuted by far the largest group in the scene. I think that may have changed and there are a lot more women involved, both dom and sub.
The number of people who are open about being switches has gone down, I think, because there has been a lot of prejudice aimed towards switching in online chat room environments.
In the Gay Leather scene, there has been more tradition of hierarchy, and the old style of everyone starting as a sub and earning their leathers before they can become a Master still lingers, so there is more of what we think of as switching but in a different way.

 

[WriterDom]

I'd say male subs have a much harder time finding Dommes than any other combination. I get that impression from my friend in Atlanta who is a Domme. That makes sense to me since that combination goes against traditional roles. Judging by chatrooms, the Male Dom/female sub ratio is pretty even. While in a submissive men chat room, one or two Dommes can be entertaining 20 male subs.

 

[petrel]

I am a dom.

Petrel.... your AV is wonderful...thanks for the heads up on poll.

Richard
Dom in Michigan

*smile* why thank you Richard - one of these days I will post a pic of myself and you can all compare and contrast!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Hmmmm

Maybe I am looking in wrong place <smile>

Want to give me some direction?

I didn't ge the impression that you were looking. Was I wrong?

In my case, I was not looking for a submissive here when I found one. All I did was post to this thread. I did not even read the monster thread. Mostly because I have been reading the various websites, and I have my own personal library of books on the subject. I collect BDSM books. I even give them away as gifts.

I have only seen one other female dominant posting to Lit. There may be more, but I do not know who they are.

I have tried Yahoo personals, bondage.com, AdultFriendFinder, and Alt.com. I also belonged to various clubs in Yahoo until Yahoo got religion, and destroyed all the clubs.

I got my part-time sub in Alt.com, which I still think is the best resource for finding someone. The list is huge.

Ebony

 

[BBD]

I don't know about Lit., but online in general there seem to be more submissives both male and female than there are Dom/mes. That's only compounded by the large number of wannabes online that seem to think they deserve to be treated as minor deities because they can type the word Master or Lord and attach it to a nom de plume.

I'll defer to those with more experience as to whether the same is true r/t or not.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I agree, but with a different reasoning...

I'd say male subs have a much harder time finding Dommes than any other combination. I get that impression from my friend in Atlanta who is a Domme. That makes sense to me since that combination goes against traditional roles. Judging by chatrooms, the Male Dom/female sub ratio is pretty even. While in a submissive men chat room, one or two Dommes can be entertaining 20 male subs.

Yes I agree that male subs have a harder time. However, I have also found that many men confuse sexual fetishism with submission and dominance. So, the real work is finding a submissive among the sexual fetishists. That takes an enormous amount of time.

I have found that traditional roles has nothing to do with it aside from the fact, that people are generally ignorant of the type of personalities who submit as a conscience choice.

I have also discovered that male submissives are more closeted than females. You would be surprised at the amount of men who have Dommes. They just do not advertise that fact, unless they feel comfortable doing so.

I get contacted all the time by men who are subs/slaves. They are delighted to meet someone they can talk to. Most of them contact me with full permission from their owners. and I have never met any of them in a chat room I personally stay away from chat rooms.

I abhor strange so-called subs bowing and scraping to Me. I am a traditionalist when it comes to protocol. I do not allow anyone to call me Mistress or Ma'am. Only my property has that honor. Common courtesy is all I require from other submissives.

hence, "entertaining subs" is not what I do. But YMMV.

Ebony <Mistress to tavish & sissy christy>

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well,

I don't know about Lit., but online in general there seem to be more submissives both male and female than there are Dom/mes. That's only compounded by the large number of wannabes online that seem to think they deserve to be treated as minor deities because they can type the word Master or Lord and attach it to a nom de plume.

I'll defer to those with more experience as to whether the same is true r/t or not.

I find that experience is not as important as knowledge. When someone takes the time to do the work and read up on the lifestyle, they instantly get my attention! If you want to have more successful experiences than unsuccessful ones, arm yourself with knowledge. this is true for Dom/mes and subs; female or male.

Ebony

 

[BBD]

Re: Well,

I find that experience is not as important as knowledge. When someone takes the time to do the work and read up on the lifestyle, they instantly get my attention! If you want to have more successful experiences than unsuccessful ones, arm yourself with knowledge. this is true for Dom/mes and subs; female or male.

Ebony

I won't argue with that at all. I found my way to the lifestyle online first, and spent plenty of time reading up on everything I could get my hands on before moving into r/t. And there's always something new to learn....

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Well,

I won't argue with that at all. I found my way to the lifestyle online first, and spent plenty of time reading up on everything I could get my hands on before moving into r/t. And there's always something new to learn....

That is very true!

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Whoops!

that was me!

<Sheepish grin>

Ebony

 

[fallon2]

The accuracy of polls

The accuracy of polls is always a question but I do think that there are many people who still hesitate to answer either way. I would only hope that everybody here at lit finds their soul mate and have a happy productive life together. We read too often of heartbreak, loss and people simply walking out on the other causing more unhappiness.

 

[James Blandings]

Re: Well,

I find that experience is not as important as knowledge. When someone takes the time to do the work and read up on the lifestyle, they instantly get my attention! If you want to have more successful experiences than unsuccessful ones, arm yourself with knowledge. this is true for Dom/mes and subs; female or male.

Ebony

You are right as usual, Ms.Ebony.
Here's one that gets me: people will brag about how long they've been in the scene, like they are going to get a pension or something.
Now, if one couple plays everyday for a year, and another couple plays once a month for 10 years, who's got more experience.
Hell, I've been getting off in kinky style since 1970, but I still crave more knowledge on the subject.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Well,

You are right as usual, Ms.Ebony.
Here's one that gets me: people will brag about how long they've been in the scene, like they are going to get a pension or something.
Now, if one couple plays everyday for a year, and another couple plays once a month for 10 years, who's got more experience.
Hell, I've been getting off in kinky style since 1970, but I still crave more knowledge on the subject.

There is so much to learn, and so many ways to play and/or live this lifestyle, you can never be an expert, and most folks know this.

Ebony

 

[Lance Hardrock]

so is there a poll?

Are we suppose to vote or something?

I for one and Submissive and proud of it. LOL.

 

[inferiormale]

? For Mr. Blandings

Mr. Blandings,

What if a Sub starting out in the Gay leather community doesn't want to "graduate" to becomig a Master? Can he stay a Sub forever? Just wondering.

Thanks
IM

 

[Shadowsdream]

My experience has shown Me that male subs fill the most shoes. Doms next and fem subs next..then the big shortage happens with Dommes. I have watched these numbers change with the Internet. At one time Doms and fem subs had the most shoes.