Stupid Spam Tricks

[Laurel]

Just like David Letterman has his stupid pet tricks, I've noticed a rash of stupid spam tricks here on the board lately. The latest one goes something like this:

First Post (Unregistered): Does anyone know where I can find a link to a paysite?

Second Post (Unregistered 2): Funny you should ask! I just happen to know where you can find a paysite! Click here!

Third Post (Registered Member): Hey you dumb spammer! Get lost! You're not fooling anyone!

I just think it's funny.

 

[Siren]

Hey ya all, do ya know a link to a free web site for erotica?

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Siren]

yep I do know

 

[Siren]

Oh damn,,,,,,,,

 

[*bratcat*]

Hey you spammer!!

 

[Siren]

Shhhhhhhhhh, dont let Laurel know ok?

 

[Laurel]

LOL! They do it for free sites too. Those usually read like this:

First Post (Unregistered): Does anyone know where I can find more free stories about middle-aged Asian mothers having sex with their college-age sons?

Second Post (Unregistered 2): Funny you should ask! I just happen to know where you can find a site that has nothing but free stories about middle-aged Asian mothers having sex with their college-age sons! Click here!

Third Post (Registered Member): Hey you dumb spammer! Get lost! You're not fooling anyone!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Hey, does anyone know where I can get recipes for Spam?

Yeah! Click here! www.hormel.com

You spammer! You're not fooling anyone!!!!

You missed that one Laurelly.

 

[Laurel]

Damnit! Can't believe I missed that one..

 

[shadowsource]

Help!

Anyone know where I can find a site full of horny Christians and virgins and political fanatics, all decked out in weird costumes and going up and down on each other 24/7? Thanks!

 

[Siren]

I know that site

 

[shadowsource]

Damn -

That was weird. I've seen the future, and it is... Todd.

 

[Problem Child]

I wonder if Todd has ever tried to fuck a can of spam.

It's got to be cheaper than buying emu eggs.

 

[Laurel]

Wouldn't you bruise your dick that way?



OH, I get it. You take it OUT of the can...

 

[Problem Child]

I would assume you could do it by just taking the top off, but you would have to be centered in the can to avoid nasty lacerations from those sharp edges. I would think also that a sufficiently aroused member sliced open in the heat of passion would result in tremendous and rapid blood loss which whould further result in passing out and falling facefirst on the kitchen floor.

This is all merely conjecture on my part though.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Spermy spam. Sounds like something they pumped out of Rod Stewart's tummy back pre-Rachel days.

 

[Laurel]

This is all merely conjecture on my part though.

Suuuuure it is...


Dump it into a bowl, maybe? Slice it, fry it in a pan, and then have your way with it? Or is raw spam more erotic?

None of this was covered in "Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask".

 

[Problem Child]

What would happen if Mick Jagger met Rod Stewart met Richard Gere...

The ultimate celebrity legend...get the stomach pump and the emergency gerbilectomy instruments ready, nurse...

 

[KillerMuffin]

I think PC is more of a nutella man, than a spam man. But hey, back in the college days when beer was more important than food, it could have been spam.

I would seriously like to butcher and barbeque the spammer who thinks I want to make my penis larger. I mean really.

 

[Siren]

This should solve all the mystery for ya all

 

[Siren]

OMG KM !!!!

 

[Problem Child]

Laurel-

Do you really think that if I was whacked enough to frig a can of the choicest pork shoulder and butt, I'd have any qualms at all about detailing it for you?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: OMG KM !!!!

YOU have a penis?

wow.

Wait 'til PC finds out.

 

[Problem Child]

you really know how to hurt a guy. *sniff*

(throwing his nutella and quac supply in the trash as he shuffles off to bed)