Strapon Loving

[LargoKitt]

I'm working on a series about two women lovers. I would appreciate some feedback from women authors who make love to women, specifically about strapons and strapless strapons.

My experience is that most porn is created for men, so strapons are portrayed as "a woman getting off on playing a guy" and/or "a woman enjoying what her female lover otherwise can't give her", and by that I mean all the rammin' and jammin' guys think is so hot.

I want to tell a story about my character enjoying the feeling of being filled. But she doesn't need to pretend her lover is a man. She doesn't need to pretend she is a man. I think I want to portray my characters using a strapless strapon; but the reviews for such things are pretty terrible. Despite the feature of providing penetrative pleasure for both partners at once, the darn things keep falling out and are hard to use at a good angle because they hang so low. They crunch the inside and outside bits uncomfortably.

So it seems the optimum way to use a Feeldoe or the like would be for the wearer to lie on her back with her legs together and her partner to ride her in cowgirl position. No one in videos seems to do this obvious thing, or the next most obvious; face to face or face to back with the wearer with her legs together clamped tight around the Feeldoe. I guess videos want to show women pretending to be men. Another obvious one would be tribbing while using a Feeldoe. But does this 'hit the wrong angles'? Or does anyone just use a double ended dildo that is short enough to press clits tight and get inside and outside at same time?

Please don't tell me about pegging, even girl girl.

If strapless strapons are pretty useless, what kind of regular strapon does the job best? Is the hardware pressing on the soft bits uncomfortable? Has anyone tucked a Wevibe or a short dildo under the harness to get some inside action or clit stim? It always seems to me that just skillfully using a dildo on your girl is the best way to get something big inside her; unless you want to lie face to face and do some serious kissing...but vids of strapons usually seem to feature doggy. Maybe best for guy fantasies and cinematically. And stupid BJs of strapons. ???

Good oral sex and fingering seem to be the best way to love a female partner. But there are these toys. How do you use them in the most loving and fulfilling (pun intended) way?
LargoKitt

 

[AchtungNight]

I imagine Shauna & Tara (the main dildo users in my stories) use theirs in all the ways you describe. Corey (they named their dildo, some women do) has straps but I’ve always thought of them as optional and the Shapiro foster twins are adept enough to keep him in or prefer their partner riding cowgirl as you describe. It’s my preferred position also, even though I’m a man. I like to lie back and get a full view of a woman’s aroused body plus she’s taking equal amount of the work. I can also be submissive or lazy depending on who you ask.

Yes, this is a porn site. I am getting detailed. Issues with that, go un-fuck yourselves.

But again, though I’m a man and don’t have firsthand experience with dildoes, so if any women with more appropriate knowledge want to contribute please do.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Sex can be enjoyed without penetration... (For some people)... Just saying.
Hard for males to comprehend, but it is not essential for fulfilling lovemaking.

Cagivagurl

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Possibly because my woman-loving friends and I are old farts, but I don't think any of us have ever bothered trying a strapless dildo. Sounds like way too much of a gimmick. Double-ended ones are pretty pointless IMO.

If you're going to ape manhood by having a cock, then you might as well use it in a trad manly way. Equally if you want the experience of getting fucked, then one generally wants to lie back and take it as part of that experience - sitting on top of a shaft and having to do all the work seems kinda - dull?

More likely to just take it in turns applying toys - possibly including dildos - to a partner.

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

Personally, during girl/girl we would almost never use toys other than vibrators for clit stimulation. Not even dildos for penetration, for me it's just not a nice sensation. As the original post says, fingers/oral are best.

However, nine-tenths of the point of the strap on is psychological: it's not specifically about 'what is going to feel best on my clit' but rather, 'what feels hot and turns me on mentally right now'. If my partner slips her hands into my hair and guides my mouth onto her strap on, it's not because it feels as good as being fingered or licked, but because she's getting off on the power, the visual, the fantasy etc. Same for actually being fucked: lying back and submitting to a partner so she can fuck me turns me on mentally, even if it's not specifically the 'best feeling' down there. Same applies to doggy or cowgirl or whatever.

I wouldn't consider the mechanics of 'what type of toy feels best on a clit' because I don't think readers go on Lit to read about characters using the VibroOrgasmo 9000(TM) on each other because technically it induces orgasms 11.5 seconds faster than the OrgasmicVibe 7000(TM). The nature of erotica is mental stimulation, so think of it from that angle: what's turning my characters on most mentally? Is it about submission and giving themselves to their partner? Is it about feeling their partner's body respond? And so on. Then go from there, even if it means including a useless strapless strap on. Maybe there's a story there: one partner really wants a strapless strap on to work, and the two girls have fun trying to find a position that works.

 

[mildlyaroused]

Doggy is and always will be overrated!!

Double-sided toys can indeed be pretty clumsy.

But (and I know this often isn't the most useful line of advice) you might be overthinking things. This is fiction. It's also sex. What makes most sense in a physical, geographical sense is not always actually best in the bedroom. Sex simply is clumsy, a lot of the time. What feels best is sometimes odd, and sometimes you gotta play twister - and it is different for everyone.

You sound like you're going down the right path, not treating girl-girl lovers as if they want to "feel what it's like to be fucked". Mrs_mackenzie has sound advice: tap into your characters' mindsets and emotions, and derive the pleasure from there. The emotional dynamic will inform the sex. Have fun!

 

[TheRedChamber]

Sshhh, never ask lesbians about what they actually get up to. It's only going to ruin it for the rest of us.

 

[Cagivagurl]

What.....
There are lesbians here!!!!!!!!!
OMG. Somebody call the police....

 

[KeithD]

If strapless strapons are pretty useless, what kind of regular strapon does the job best? I

This is fiction. What works is whatever you, the author, declares is working. This would be a case where danger would be in getting too far into details.

 

[LargoKitt]

Sex can be enjoyed without penetration... (For some people)... Just saying.
Hard for males to comprehend, but it is not essential for fulfilling lovemaking.

Cagivagurl

Cagivagurl, I have learned over a half century with a female partner, that PIV sex is only a small part of the show. Still, I’ve learned from her that sometimes that deep, filling, urgent penetration is what is required. An inanimate device is not a hot, spurting thing. But the person you love may not have such a thing. As others have said, it’s not all about orgasm.

 

[Britva415]

I don't know how common it is, and of course I know there are plenty who don't, but it's not a myth that there are women who like topping with a strap-on. Strapless ones, I don't know.

@LargoKitt It seems like you just don't want to get a bad review. Why does that prevent you from just going with straps? Strapless ones aren't the only ones which can double-penetrate, either. There are strapped ones for that. Some people would rather not bother with them, some people like that type.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Cagivagurl, I have learned over a half century with a female partner, that PIV sex is only a small part of the show. Still, I’ve learned from her that sometimes that deep, filling, urgent penetration is what is required. An inanimate device is not a hot, spurting thing. But the person you love may not have such a thing. As others have said, it’s not all about orgasm.

I agree, good delicious wonderfully fulfilling sex is not always about orgasm...
At a purely emotional level, sex can take all night, and perhaps there has been an orgasm or two, but the beauty is in the connection.
The surprisingly wonderful sensuousity of merging bodies and minds as one. The chemical reaction that occurs when it is purely your loving ties to the other person.
Bodies touching, hands caressing, softly spoken words of love...
That can be the most fulfilling of all.
My point was, that not everybody requires or even wants penetration of anything other than gentle caressing fingers...
Often when I see woman on woman sex written by men. It's all about strapons and thrusting power and control.
All I am saying is that sex between two women can be so much more than male oriented sex...
I'm certain that there are women who enjoy the need for a penis, but women are not all the same... (Thankfully)
Sex should be enjoyed like a light souffle, crisp fresh wine. It doesn't have to me a mad rush to orgasm.
I do not speak on behalf of all women, just myself...

Cagivagurl

 

[THBGato]

To be honest, I've always found sex aids you have to wear incredibly awkward. Stories that talk about how hard it is to get the rhythm and angle right aren't wrong.

I've always had much more fun with hand-held dildos and vibrators. Never tried a double-ended.

 

[lilshymynx]

To be honest, I've always found sex aids you have to wear incredibly awkward. Stories that talk about how hard it is to get the rhythm and angle right aren't wrong.

I've always had much more fun with hand-held dildos and vibrators. Never tried a double-ended.

Double enders can be fun, but there's definitely a learning curve to really getting the most out of them.