Story Feedback Requested!

[Mericalovess]

Triangulation

Newest story I've put out about a young woman losing her virginity well after marriage and getting deeper into a smoking addiction. Any feedback would be appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[Vintage_DM]

OK ... I am not a grammar Nazi. With that said, where I stumbled in reading the story was the repeated usage of "I." To me, that broke the flow of the story. It could be just me. All in all not a bad story.

 

[Mericalovess]

OK ... I am not a grammar Nazi. With that said, where I stumbled in reading the story was the repeated usage of "I." To me, that broke the flow of the story. It could be just me. All in all not a bad story.

Thanks so much. I will keep that in mind for future stories.