Steven Wrightisms

[Que]

"If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, someone somewhere is making a penny."

Hilarious. I have to work that into some kind of patter.

I bought a 2c piece for about $13 I think. It's copper about the size of a nickel. (the ones made out of nickel - dunno how big the wooden ones are)

I had in mind carrying it in my pocket. It isn't a great collector piece, but I am enough of a numismatist to not want to ding it up in my pocket. Having it in a protective sleeve would look as contrived as it actually is.

 

[passionatewife]

Hilarious. I have to work that into some kind of patter.

I bought a 2c piece for about $13 I think. It's copper about the size of a nickel. (the ones made out of nickel - dunno how big the wooden ones are)

I had in mind carrying it in my pocket. It isn't a great collector piece, but I am enough of a numismatist to not want to ding it up in my pocket. Having it in a protective sleeve would look as contrived as it actually is.

Just throw caution to the wind and put it in your pocket. Keep it a seperate pocket as your other stuff. It will make you feel free a bit.

 

[jomar]

I saw a diner with a sign that said "Breakfast Anytime" so I ordered French toast in the Rennaisance.

 

[UpwardSpiral]

One day I was walking in the forest alone, and tree fell right in front of me... and I didn't hear it.

 

[beachbaby179]

Today is Steven Wright's birthday. He's 59.

When I get real real bored I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.

 

[Zenful_Intentions]

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

 

[pensivepoet]

A funny thing happened to me today...no, wait~that was last week

 

[DallasDonna]

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

A funny thing happened to me today...no, wait~that was last week

Gotta love the guy

 

[DustOnDaBotl]

If all those sponges weren't at the bottom of the ocean, would it be deeper?

 

[pensivepoet]

I tried to buy that thing at the store checkout that seperates the groceries
Then i went to the map store and asked for a map that wasn't aerial view...

 

[DallasDonna]

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

 

[Tallcajun]

If you paint a room, is it smaller?

 

[Zenful_Intentions]

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.

 

[SCcouple1990]

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where’s the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.