Hi all. I have been using literotica for nearly ten years now for my pleasure and I feel a fool as I have never taken the time to explore these forums. Sad huh? Anyway. My post is regarding my constant, never satisfied appetite for sex and anything sexual. My partner does not have a quarter of the drive I do and I find myself constantly thinking of sex. Looking at porn, sneaking away into the bathroom for privacy. She just isn't into it much and I am going insane!! Am I alone in this? Anyone else have a partner that just doesn't satisfy them? I hate saying that because I adore her but sexually, I need so much more!!! Help please..
Starving...
- Thread starter Tantrix
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Join the club mate. You are not alone in this.
If all the folk like thee and me stopped using lit chat and the forum my guess is this place would be a lot quieter.
What you do about it is down to your own values and conscience.
If all the folk like thee and me stopped using lit chat and the forum my guess is this place would be a lot quieter.
What you do about it is down to your own values and conscience.
emap
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Have you tried talking to your girlfriend? Seriously, ask her what she fantasizes about, what she wants to try, what she doesn't want to do. May take alot of prodding, perhaps even having her peruse literotica to find the things that excite her.
It does help though because us women are mental creatures, what we desire out of sex isn't sex usually. Well Ok we want sex to but there usually is a certain thing or things that we want to happen during, before or after sex. Don't always say it because never know how your going to react. Not to mention sex is usually not something most families talk about, birds and the bees tend to stay just that, birds and bees when you find a man you love and marry you will know what to do type sex ed discussions at home. The school courses not being much better if she even attended it, some families don't let their kids go to those.
What I am saying in a long meandering way is to talk to your girlfriend, find out what gets her hot. Don't just put her on her back and fuck her then roll over to go to sleep, that's boring and something of a blow to the ego. If you can get her hot and wanting she will want sex more often, women have more of a sex drive than you think, you just gotta find how to open the gates.
It does help though because us women are mental creatures, what we desire out of sex isn't sex usually. Well Ok we want sex to but there usually is a certain thing or things that we want to happen during, before or after sex. Don't always say it because never know how your going to react. Not to mention sex is usually not something most families talk about, birds and the bees tend to stay just that, birds and bees when you find a man you love and marry you will know what to do type sex ed discussions at home. The school courses not being much better if she even attended it, some families don't let their kids go to those.
What I am saying in a long meandering way is to talk to your girlfriend, find out what gets her hot. Don't just put her on her back and fuck her then roll over to go to sleep, that's boring and something of a blow to the ego. If you can get her hot and wanting she will want sex more often, women have more of a sex drive than you think, you just gotta find how to open the gates.
SweetErika
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No, you're not alone by a long shot. Here are almost 13,000 posts from people who also claim to be '(somewhat) happily married but sexually unfulfilled' in just a single thread.
I'm not sure what kind of help you're seeking, though. The way I see it, you can either stay in the bad situation or make it better, either by mutually opening the relationship or getting out of it. If you choose to stay, you have to remember it's just that--YOUR CHOICE--and you're not doing anyone any favors by staying unhappily.
Does your partner know how unhappy you are? Have you asked her for possible solutions? Tried couples therapy? Is SHE really happy with the state of your relationship, or would she rather be with someone who's more sexually compatible?
I'm not sure what kind of help you're seeking, though. The way I see it, you can either stay in the bad situation or make it better, either by mutually opening the relationship or getting out of it. If you choose to stay, you have to remember it's just that--YOUR CHOICE--and you're not doing anyone any favors by staying unhappily.
Does your partner know how unhappy you are? Have you asked her for possible solutions? Tried couples therapy? Is SHE really happy with the state of your relationship, or would she rather be with someone who's more sexually compatible?
Colton_White
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others already have given you good advice, so I'd save your time by not repeating
what already has been prescribed.
buy your self a plastic doll / flashlight/
I'd have adviced you to get your self a cybersex lady-buddy.
[but sometimes that's even harder lol]
cheating in real life is a bad idea. [it leads to more trouble sooner or later.]
http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/insp_angels/8429-016-29-1047.gif
rthnck
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that same old rut
I too have a relationship with wildly differing libidos. We have discussed it to death but the truth is that sometimes the differences cannot be overcome. In my case the discussions led to some experimentation that helped bridge the gap but it turned out to be temporary. Despite my best efforts we are slowly inching back to where we were before.
The notion that sex is a mental exercise for the female and a more physical exericse for the male seems to be right on the money. It's been my experience that it's the rare female (**puts on flameproof suit**) that doesn't require all the right bells and whistles to get their engines revving (lots of foreplay, massages, ego stroking, etc). Men generally require nothing.
If you put in the effort you are usually rewarded but then you're in the zone where you have to be sincere in what you do. If you grudgingly do the right things or pretend in order to get some action they figure it out and it all goes to hell in a handbasket again.
I wish you luck. All I can say is that good sex takes effort.
I too have a relationship with wildly differing libidos. We have discussed it to death but the truth is that sometimes the differences cannot be overcome. In my case the discussions led to some experimentation that helped bridge the gap but it turned out to be temporary. Despite my best efforts we are slowly inching back to where we were before.
The notion that sex is a mental exercise for the female and a more physical exericse for the male seems to be right on the money. It's been my experience that it's the rare female (**puts on flameproof suit**) that doesn't require all the right bells and whistles to get their engines revving (lots of foreplay, massages, ego stroking, etc). Men generally require nothing.
If you put in the effort you are usually rewarded but then you're in the zone where you have to be sincere in what you do. If you grudgingly do the right things or pretend in order to get some action they figure it out and it all goes to hell in a handbasket again.
I wish you luck. All I can say is that good sex takes effort.
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ApprenticeApril
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I'm a girl who doesn't get enought sex!
My bf and I are very mismatched, with me wanting it ALL the time, and he is cool with not having it. We've been together for well over a year now, and honestly it took compromise. He does it sometimes even when he's not in the mood (and then gets in the mood halfway through) and sometimes I don't push so hard for it. I get less sex than I want, he gets more sex than he wants. Sometimes it still causes friction, but it probably always will.
The big thing for us is we are important enough to each other to constantly work on the issue. It will never completely go away, but we are already much closer to an agreement than in the beginning.
I would suggest lots of communication and patience on both of your parts.
(Plus I masturbate, A LOT)
My bf and I are very mismatched, with me wanting it ALL the time, and he is cool with not having it. We've been together for well over a year now, and honestly it took compromise. He does it sometimes even when he's not in the mood (and then gets in the mood halfway through) and sometimes I don't push so hard for it. I get less sex than I want, he gets more sex than he wants. Sometimes it still causes friction, but it probably always will.
The big thing for us is we are important enough to each other to constantly work on the issue. It will never completely go away, but we are already much closer to an agreement than in the beginning.
I would suggest lots of communication and patience on both of your parts.
(Plus I masturbate, A LOT)
rthnck
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I'm still wearing my flameproof suit so I will still maintain my opinion that the dynamic of the female having the higher libido in a relationship is not the norm. This of couse is based on personal experience and unscientific questioning of friends. I might also suppose that the women of literotica are outside the norm in all the good ways 
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I'm still wearing my flameproof suit so I will still maintain my opinion that the dynamic of the female having the higher libido in a relationship is not the norm. This of couse is based on personal experience and unscientific questioning of friends. I might also suppose that the women of literotica are outside the norm in all the good ways
{preps a nice big slow fire to roast you over}
In all seriousness it's usually a case of ups and downs for everyone surely? I lost my mojo big time a few years ago and now it's back with a vengence. I yearn for the days of totally loosing all sexual desire so I can do something a little bit more constructive!
emap
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Of course a persons sex drive ebbs and flows. It's really annoying when they do it in opposite directions between you and your special someone. Luckily he's a horndog anyway so it didn't ebb that long.
Not all men will fuck anything with a pulse, I knw this one quite well, I didn't always get the first second or third guy I asked for sex. Heck I recall one night I had to ask 20 guys before a yes.
This of course was back when I was single and looking for mr always right and taking alot of mr right nows.
Not all men will fuck anything with a pulse, I knw this one quite well, I didn't always get the first second or third guy I asked for sex. Heck I recall one night I had to ask 20 guys before a yes.
This of course was back when I was single and looking for mr always right and taking alot of mr right nows.
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