Stalker problems

[Forlorn Hope]

Hi.

My friend is still having problems with this one guy that just can't take no for an answer and keeps following her around. She works at the campus library and he would walk around her feigning to find an empty computer to use and she has caught him spying on her from a pillar at the library while she works or uses the computers there.

He hangs out (or probably used to after he was caught stalking her...) with our local anime club and is one of those poorly-dressed, quiet, weirdo anime nerds (too many adjectives) that is and probably always will be a virgin living with his parents.

Our friends have confronted the guy in a peaceful manner and talked to him, but he just doesn't take a hint. One of my friends wants to beat the guy into paste for making her fear for her safety.

I don't think there is much that she can do from a legal stand-point, but I was thinking that maybe if someone were to follow him following her with a camcorder then maybe he could get kicked out of the college or something to that effect?

I don't know her too well, but she is a warm hug after a miserable day to a friend of mine and it would be nice if I could help her out, you know?


Can anyone share some strategies that have worked for you or would work?

 

[INeedLove]

Hi.

My friend is still having problems with this one guy that just can't take no for an answer and keeps following her around. She works at the campus library and he would walk around her feigning to find an empty computer to use and she has caught him spying on her from a pillar at the library while she works or uses the computers there.

He hangs out (or probably used to after he was caught stalking her...) with our local anime club and is one of those poorly-dressed, quiet, weirdo anime nerds (too many adjectives) that is and probably always will be a virgin living with his parents.

Our friends have confronted the guy in a peaceful manner and talked to him, but he just doesn't take a hint. One of my friends wants to beat the guy into paste for making her fear for her safety.

I don't think there is much that she can do from a legal stand-point, but I was thinking that maybe if someone were to follow him following her with a camcorder then maybe he could get kicked out of the college or something to that effect?

I don't know her too well, but she is a warm hug after a miserable day to a friend of mine and it would be nice if I could help her out, you know?


Can anyone share some strategies that have worked for you or would work?

Two words-
Campus police


A) That's part of their job. Let them confront the guy and take the risks.

B) She needs to have her concerns documented.

C) Most school police officers provide escort service-to the car or dorm or even her next class.

D) Safetly is paramount. If she feels threatened she needs to heed her gut and go proactive


Otherwise she should let her supervisor know about her concerns. They will make sure she is not left vulnerable. She can contact a campus counselor or even a Dean. Hell, resident advisors can even start the ball rolling and walk her through the process.

If you are concerned, please encourage and support her to talk to a school official!!!!

 

[autumnmist]

report everything!!!!!documentation is power.

 

[Cathleen]

The ladies above have nailed it!

Take no chances, don't tick him off, stay safe.

 

[tanyachrs]

Absolutely. She can, and should, treat this as a legal issue.

 

[skygazer]

When all else fails she could obtain an order of protection... From what you are saying this guy probably isn't dangerous, and the order would scare him enough to keep him away

 

[akatrex]

When all else fails she could obtain an order of protection... From what you are saying this guy probably isn't dangerous, and the order would scare him enough to keep him away

I second Skygazer, look into a "Restraining Order".

My ex wife and I had to get one and she worked for the Police Department.
Some white Michael Jackson want a bee. Major head case.

Good Luck and be Safe

 

[TBKahuna123]

don't think there is much that she can do from a legal stand-point...

Not true, she DOES have course for legal action.With multiple witnesses chances are she can get a protection order easily. Stalker laws have been strengthened in almost every state over the last decade and most colleges don't mess around when it comes to this issue.

Everything here is right. Document it with campus security, file a complaint with them and with the local police. Your friends may not be able to get the hint across, but I'll be a visit from Officer Nightstick will.

 

[Forlorn Hope]

The guy may or may not be dangerous, but I would much rather be safe than sorry. He is a bit nutty though because he claims to have multiple personalities although by the names of his "personalities" one could deduce that they are just moods he is in.

He said something to her to the effect of: "I was in another personality last time, what do you want me to call you now?"

He seems to be the type to walk around her a lot, hide and spy on her while working at times and possibly work up the guts to talk to her from time to time.


I am not sure if she is taking this seriously enough. From what I read in her LJ I gathered that her supervisor knows about this and doesn't take it too seriously, but I am waiting to see what she tells me.


Thanks for the advice everyone and have a Merry Christmas (or whatever).

 

[5pintshefound]

ok, this guy sounds scary... seriously, she needs to look into campus police.. she needs to bypass the supervisor and go straight to them. u know that saying, its better to be safe than sorry? well, its true.. best case scenario, this guy is just a lonely guy that thinks hes got a chance for a date... if thats the case, the order of protection should scare him off-- if not, it definately documents that hes got stalker behaviour, and will make law enforcement check into him a tad more --- either way, it definately needs done. also, you might want to get some big brawny males to make sure shes got someone to walk with after work etc... gl to her!

~5PHF

 

[Forlorn Hope]

She has one sort of brawny (more like a 350 or so pound) guy that wants to take his head off, but that is the exact situation I want to prevent.

He claims that even if you get a restraining or protective order that the most they can do is fine him and he is not a fan of how slow and "uneffective" our law-enforcement system is.

To quote him: "You could be being threatened by someone that is seriously scary and means business and the cops would ask that you come back to them when the guy chops you back into pieces, then they could do something about it".

The end game here for this guy is either expulsion from the college, behind bars (not happening), or someone finally figuring out that this guy is a looney (his parents seem to be the type that believe that their child is an angel or something...) and throwing his ass in a mental institution.

Is there a way to film this guy continuing to do this and getting credit that the guy is actually nutty with said film? By credit I mean actually doing something other than telling him "You can't go 100 meters within her, if not we fine you 50 dollars".


I guess I am asking for a more detailed course of action that would happen (in Texas, it might be less or more strict in other places) to someone that breaks a protection or restraining order...

 

[5pintshefound]

She has one sort of brawny (more like a 350 or so pound) guy that wants to take his head off, but that is the exact situation I want to prevent.

GOOd , make sure he stays near her

Is there a way to film this guy continuing to do this and getting credit that the guy is actually nutty with said film? By credit I mean actually doing something other than telling him "You can't go 100 meters within her, if not we fine you 50 dollars".

your gonna have to check on your state regs, but im pretty sure that there are some states, that if you videotape/photograph someone without theire knowledge or express permission YOU or your friend coudl get in trouble- at the very least, the photos/vid could get ruled inadmissable if she tried to take him to court

I guess I am asking for a more detailed course of action that would happen (in Texas, it might be less or more strict in other places) to someone that breaks a protection or restraining order...

depends on teh state, i would imagine

heres a few of the first sites google pullled up under "stalker laws"

http://www.kcsdv.org/stalkinginfo.html
http://www.baddteddy.com/stalkers/stalker_laws.htm

the first site gives some interesting and noteworthy answers - like 22% of all stalkers[meaning KNOWN stalkers] sexually assault their victms. thats scary stuff. almost 1 in 4.

just some more info, you might want to pass on to her...

~5PHF