Staight Dom/me with Submissive, and Submissives partner. Story or Real life?

[Mr. Bootie]

Okay, Here is the scenario. I would like to know your thoughts on this subject. You can represent any of the people in the scenario.

To Keep it easy to follow I will use myself as the example. ( This is just an example. )


I have a lady that is my submissive and she is married. She is submissive to me, but is dominant to her husband. In fact she has cuckholded him. She loves to be under my control and would love to have her husband be my submissive also. One of her fantasies is to see me make her husband "my bitch" and pleasure me for her amusement. However, I am straight, but love the thought of his humiliation for our pleasure. What would you do?

Is this a fantasy? Or has anyone experienced anything like this?

Let the discussion begin

 

[FungiUg]

Me personally wouldn't touch that one in reality with a barge pole. The issues of consent, of breaking up relationships... just way too scary. Plus I wouldn't play with someone who didn't turn me on personally -- even if it was to please someone else.

I've read some fantasy stories (on Lit of course) in this regard, and they don't do much for me either.

Now that's all me personally. Not making a moral judgement here, just saying it wouldn't work for me.

 

[Shadowsdream]

This scenario in reality, in My opinion ,would have the Dominant submitting to the submissive. I could be wrong of course but can You see where I get this idea from?
The scene does nothing for Me as a Dominant.

 

[FungiUg]

To me it sounds like the submissive manipulating the dominant to conduct some sort of "revenge" fantasy on her husband.

 

[Shadowsdream]

To me it sounds like the submissive manipulating the dominant to conduct some sort of "revenge" fantasy on her husband.

That is one possibility?
I think this could be a very interesting thread!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Topping from the bottom?.... or perhaps flexing her dominance over you to prove to the world she can...and maybe it is working from what you say.

C

 

[slvjenn]

well...

my BF/Dom has once or twice expressed interest in seeing what it is like to be the submissive. I have also expressed to him that I'd like to try my hand at domming.

We have agreed that we'd not do this with each other though. The reason being mostly that if I saw him submit to anyone, me especially that he'd loose an edge in being my dom.

This is related to your example only becuase I think that if her submissive saw her submit to you, she may also loose something in the mind of the submissive.

I don't know if anyone else thinks like that, but I do. Just wanted to throw it out there.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Okay, Here is the scenario. I would like to know your thoughts on this subject. You can represent any of the people in the scenario.

To Keep it easy to follow I will use myself as the example. ( This is just an example. )


I have a lady that is my submissive and she is married. She is submissive to me, but is dominant to her husband. In fact she has cuckholded him. She loves to be under my control and would love to have her husband be my submissive also. One of her fantasies is to see me make her husband "my bitch" and pleasure me for her amusement. However, I am straight, but love the thought of his humiliation for our pleasure. What would you do?

Is this a fantasy? Or has anyone experienced anything like this?

Let the discussion begin

I personally would not cuckhold my submissive husband if I had one. I am poly and can have who I want anyway without humiliating him. I do not find it exciting, it is not My thing. But others may find it to their liking.

Also, I would not force him to be used by another man if it would damage him psychologically.

But it would be good for threat value, wouldn't it?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Topping from the bottom?.... or perhaps flexing her dominance over you to prove to the world she can...and maybe it is working from what you say.

C

I also see the manipulaption here..the submissive being in control and dictating the scene. The Dominant considering it even though it is not His "thing". Pleasing the subs fantasy rather than His own. To Me it would equate to an exchange of power in the relationship as the submissive must be aware that the Dominant is catering to her whim.
Long term I would see this submissive feeling Dominant over both men.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I also see the manipulaption here..the submissive being in control and dictating the scene. The Dominant considering it even though it is not His "thing". Pleasing the subs fantasy rather than His own. To Me it would equate to an exchange of power in the relationship as the submissive must be aware that the Dominant is catering to her whim.
Long term I would see this submissive feeling Dominant over both men.

Definitely topping from the bottom. I did not even address that in My post, but yeah it would seem to be so. Another reason to pass it by.

 

[Daedalus77]

It may be topping from the bottom but I think it depends on the subs attitude. Is she sharing a fantasy (with hopes it will come true) or demanding an action? If her dom says no and she keeps pushing then it is topping.

 

[Ebonyfire]

We have agreed that we'd not do this with each other though. The reason being mostly that if I saw him submit to anyone, me especially that he'd loose an edge in being my dom.

You make a wonderful point.

 

[SierraMoon]

i agree with others here... i believe it would be "topping from the bottom"... i would never think to ask my Sir to do anything He wasn't interested in, just for my pleasure or that of any person i would have control over.

As far as the humiliation thing, i would go to Him and ask His thoughts on what should be done with the other person.... Therefor handing that control over to Him.

Just my thoughts

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Thank You all for your responses

Yes, I agree that this is topping from the bottom, and I wouldn't do it either.


Thank You for your responses. Like EB said. I would have complete control of this, and it they would do as I wish.

 

[Netzach]

How is it topping from the bottom to have a fantasy and say so?

Now, nagging kvetching and whining might be another story, or acting out in little ways to get you back for not doing it....that's also another story.

You yourself said you'd get off on his humiliation. That doesn't make you gay, it makes you a sadist. Welcome to the club. Decide how interested you really are.

I hope to God all my subs have whacked out fantasies and can ask me to help them get realized. I would hate to think that I'd discourage that kind of desire or communication in any way.

However, this is one I don't know that I'd go near without a LOT of communication in all directions. I would not leave it to the Domme to do all the talking to beta-sub or slave boy hubby or whatever he is.

 

[SexyChele]

I guess perhaps I'm just a bit confused here. The lady in question is not asking her dominant to become submissive, she desires her submissive husband to be submissive to her dominant. Would hubby have issues seeing his dominate wife submitting to another man? That to me would be a far bigger issue.

As to the woman's dominate? It would depend. Is he into dominating other men? If not, then why do it? If he's curious and it pleases him to do so, what the heck?

I would say a lot depends on whether this relationship is based on fantasy fulfillment or not. Yes, there are woman who have husbands who are submissive and would like to see submit to another man. Some life the lifestyle, others simply would like to see this as a fantasy situation. That part of the puzzle is not provided.

Regardless, if the husband does not wish to participate or the dominate receives no pleasure from it, then it isn't right to push the issue.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Good Points are bieng brought up.

When I first thought about it, I was merely thinking of a scenario where the Dominant was fulfilling one of the subs fantasies. Or how far would a Dominant go to please thier submissive. In this case with the Dominant bieng straight, would he go along with his Submissive request if that is what he asked of him. Yes, Not topping from the bottom, but a request.


I guess the same would be true if thier was a Domne with a male submissive who has a sub wife. The Man is dominant to his wife, but he has told his Domme that he would love to see her top his wife, and then use the same strap on to her that he recieves. This is a request not a demand. Would the Domme go for it if she knows that this is something that he would like to see.

Or is their is a Gay/Lesbian Dom/me with a Switch couple. Would they cross the boundaries of thier preferred sex to satisy the request of thier submissives. In short, Would the Dom/me ever cross their own "boundaries" in order to acccomadate a subs wishes?


I hope I have said this so that everyone can understand.


Thank You

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

When I first thought about it, I was merely thinking of a scenario where the Dominant was fulfilling one of the subs fantasies.

I've absolutely no qualms about that part. It wasn't your motivation that I was suspicious of.

However, her fantasy sounds like a round about way of gaining power over her husband, and not necessarily in a "consensual" manner. Of course, you know her, and I don't... so there may actually be no such motivation on her part. It's a judgement call on your behalf. I'd still be very leery of including any non-consenting person though.

As a suggestion, if you have a guy friend who is submissive, he may be willing to play the part of her partner to enact the fantasy in a safe manner. (Just a thought.)

 

[Daedalus77]

Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

In short, Would the Dom/me ever cross their own "boundaries" in order to acccomadate a subs wishes?


I hope I have said this so that everyone can understand.


Thank You

Would I EVER? Maybe.

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

I've absolutely no qualms about that part. It wasn't your motivation that I was suspicious of.

However, her fantasy sounds like a round about way of gaining power over her husband, and not necessarily in a "consensual" manner. Of course, you know her, and I don't... so there may actually be no such motivation on her part. It's a judgement call on your behalf. I'd still be very leery of including any non-consenting person though.

As a suggestion, if you have a guy friend who is submissive, he may be willing to play the part of her partner to enact the fantasy in a safe manner. (Just a thought.)

FungiUg, i think he was stating this question as a hypothetical.... i don't believe it is actually something he is involved in, or considering...

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

<snip>
In short, Would the Dom/me ever cross their own "boundaries" in order to acccomadate a subs wishes?

I am not a Domme, but I would think that it would be up to the dominant if they CHOSE to cross a boundary or not. If the situation/fantasy were presented by the sub in a respectful, non-minipulating manner for the dominant to decide if/when/how it would happen then I personally see no problem.

I think just like subs, Dom/me's know what they will and will not be able to handle for the most part and there is no need to cross a line that could cause harm in any way. JMHO.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Re: Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

FungiUg, i think he was stating this question as a hypothetical.... i don't believe it is actually something he is involved in, or considering...

Ah well, typical me, no fuc++++ indea!

 

[Mr Blonde]

Re: Good Points are bieng brought up.

In short, Would the Dom/me ever cross their own "boundaries" in order to acccomadate a subs wishes?

No! I have five categories:

1. Things I really like
2. Things I sort of like
3. Things I want to try
4. Things I am ambivalent about
5. Things I do not want want

The stuff in these categories can shift but only because I change my mind.

For a casual fling, I like to stick to the first two categories.

For a typical relationship that is not permanent, I will deal with the first three categories.

If we have been married for ten years and are in it for the long haul, I would deal with the first four categories but the fifth one would still be off-limits.

Those are my answers!

To deal with the posed hypothetical, if I had a typical but not permanent relationship and she suggsted something that was for me half-"want to try" and half-"do not want", I would absolutely refuse.