Stages

[Zamdrist]

Life is a series of stages. What you wanted when you were 18-21 years-old is not what you are likely to want when you are 30, 40 and 50+

Nothing monumental about that, should be pretty obvious to most.

At 32 I am between stages right now, single and relatively unattached. By my own doing/choosing really. I think I sensed a new stage was around the corner and put myself into a position where I could go there. Not so sure...I'm rambling now.

My Dad will be in town the next couple of days and he and I will do a great deal of talking. Should be interesting. He is looking out for me, of course, and doesn't want me to get too involved with someone that it could tie me down to a child/marriage/house situation.

He tells me however, to meet the right person, be the right person.

To a degree I think that makes good sense. However I can't help but follow that up with: "I can only be me, and that's the only right person to be.

I am an Aries and thus driven by fire/passion. Not that that should be an excuse to make impetuous decisions based on lust alone.

Go ahead and comment on my words, or share with us where you are in your life now and where you think you might be going.

 

[Guest]

This is a cool post which deserves bumpin' First Post!

 

[Guest]

Orignally posted by Zam
where you are in your life now and where you think you might be going.

I'm on (in) transit, my friend.

 

[Zamdrist]

I'm on (in) transit, my friend.

So you're in between stages I take it. How old? Where have you been prior? Marriage/Kids/Divorce?

Talk to me man, where do you want to be...what would make you look back on your life at 70-80 and be proud of what you've done?

 

[lisalove]

I'm in momma mode now (well, not right this second..the lil' darlings are napping...sigh).

I suspect I'll be there for quite some time. I do enjoy it immensely, even though at times it's extremely demanding and stressful. However, there is nothing else in this world I would rather be doing than taking care of my kids full time.

I can however, envision a selfish period in my life where I will have freedom to go and do whatever I please (take classes, go on trip with a girlfriend (or even my husband, lol), sleep in until noon (gawd, wouldn't that be precious just once).

At 70 or so, I hope to look back on my life and say I lived with utmost integrity and treated people kindly. My greatest legacy will be my children because that's what I put most of my energy into.

 

[Monazwx]

Transition Stage

I'm caught in the transition stage myself and it's scary.
Can't wait to start life and scared shitless and have to clue as to how to begin.
I know I have to get a job, move from home, get my own car, etc.
However, I feel like I'm stuck emotionally, esp. after my last non-relationship (not getting into it).

I know what I want and what I need to do to achieve it/them, but my mind and heart are not co-operating.

Edited to say that I'll be 22 this month and when I'm 72, I hope that people remember me and say, "She was a sweet, wise ol soul" . . .

(Hope to have a couple of books authored by me on the shelves of the my mansion as well)

 

[Kitte]

I am in transition. I am 29 not quite young definately not old. Moving in circles around this thing I call my life. Getting divorced. Involved. Definately not where I thought I would be. And tired of wondering where I am going. You know that little map at the mall with the yellow star that says YOU ARE HERE. I have the map I just lost my star. So I move in an almost mechanical fashion making it day by day til I find my star.

When I am 70 I hope to look back at my life and see it full of love.

 

[Zamdrist]

I'm in momma mode now (well, not right this second..the lil' darlings are napping...sigh).

I suspect I'll be there for quite some time. I do enjoy it immensely, even though at times it's extremely demanding and stressful. However, there is nothing else in this world I would rather be doing than taking care of my kids full time.

You're married I presume, since you mentioned a husband? You are in Momma mode right now...but can you/are you providing a fair share of loving with your husband? Is there enough love to go around in our short days and evenings? I know it can be difficult.

I too may be married again with kids, but I don't want to get in such a routine where love dies on the vine from neglect.

 

[Zamdrist]

Re: Transition Stage

I'm caught in the transition stage myself and it's scary.
Can't wait to start life and scared shitless and have to clue as to how to begin.

That is an admirable time of life actually, although it is scary. Be afraid, be very afraid!

You've got many years ahead of you Mona, go ahead and jump right in and make mistakes. It's the only way you'll learn anyways.

 

[lisalove]

You're married I presume, since you mentioned a husband? You are in Momma mode right now...but can you/are you providing a fair share of loving with your husband? Is there enough love to go around in our short days and evenings? I know it can be difficult.

I too may be married again with kids, but I don't want to get in such a routine where love dies on the vine from neglect.

Yes married, and there's not a lot left at the end of the day. We sneak moments here and there, but we both realize that our first priority is to provide a loving, nurturing home for our kids and with three boys (ages 4 & 2 yr old twins) it's rather exhausting.

Our kids will only be young for a short time, my husband and I have our whole lives together. My kids come first right now.

 

[Zamdrist]

You know that little map at the mall with the yellow star that says YOU ARE HERE. I have the map I just lost my star. So I move in an almost mechanical fashion making it day by day til I find my star.

I'm in a similar position, and it's difficult to be in. I'm questioning myself a great deal, wondering if this 'thing' I want is just something I'm settling for or if it's truly something I want. I hate to have the feeling that I'm rationalizing and convincing myself I should go in this direction or that direction.

I've been trying to come up with things I know I absolutely must have, and then try to fit it in the future, wherever that might end up being.

1. I want to be love and love someone (pretty obvious and common)

2. Must stay in this immediate area (Minneapolis) for the next 10 years (My son is eight)

3. I want to be able to look back on my life when I'm old and be proud of it.

That's all I've been able to come up with after two days of pondering upon it. A lot could fit into those 'requirements' I could go many directions and still fullfill those.

It's just a matter of choosing a direction, taking a risk with the remaining years of your life...freakin' scary really.

 

[unclej]

i was married the first time when i was your exact age zam and it was quite a transition. my daughter from that marriage is now 23 years old and going through some changes of her own. and there have been several stages since then.

there's a lot of truth to the theory that life runs in 7 year cycles. not always precise but close. i actually started really working on who i was and what i wanted to do with the rest of my life at around 48-49 and am now as happy and content as i have ever been. i don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially myself. i'm single again so i have all the time i need to pursue my creative endeavors.

i can't wait to see what the next cycle will bring.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Interesting thread Zam..and how are ya btw..?

I have reached a stage in my life that I am absolutely content with. I've been through many of the stages that you all are mentioning here.

Marriage, kids, divorce, single -parenthood, and remarriage with kids.

I've learned lessons during each of those stages. Now, I can look at my life and fully exhale, knowing that I made it through many hurdles to get to the place I am now.

I wish you all the very best as you make your way through your stages. The bottom line for me has been that when I learned to follow my heart, but temper it with my head, I made it to the stage I had been aspiring to find.

 

[Zamdrist]

i actually started really working on who i was and what i wanted to do with the rest of my life at around 48-49 and am now as happy and content as i have ever been.

You do realize that's an incredibly scary thought, to be single at that age...I know, it's not then end of the world. But nevertheless I can't help but think I don't want to be single and 40+

Bear with me...lol.

 

[Zamdrist]

Interesting thread Zam..and how are ya btw..?

I have reached a stage in my life that I am absolutely content with. I've been through many of the stages that you all are mentioning here.

I'm doing good! No compaints really, just introspective.

How did you know you got to that 'place' of contendness? Just a feeling? A very strong feeling?

Do you ever still feel like you are rationalizing your own motives?

 

[Private Vasquez]

The Spanish team Once won today's fourth stage - a team time trial. The U.S. Postal team came in second. Not too shabby.

 

[enjoyingitall]

I'm doing good! No compaints really, just introspective.

How did you know you got to that 'place' of contendness? Just a feeling? A very strong feeling?

Do you ever still feel like you are rationalizing your own motives?

Good to hear you're doing well.

How did I know? Yes, a very strong feeling, one that I had not known before in life. One that allows me to wake each day knowing that there really isn't any thing I would change if I could. Not any important things.

No, I don't feel as though I am rationalizing my motives. I feel as if I took the steps that I needed to, didn't let opportunities pass by without giving them their due, and I embraced life.

 

[phrodeau]

As You Like It - Act II, Scene 7
by William Shakespeare

JACQUES: All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

[Silverluna]

Is there a beginning stage?

I'm single....no previous relationships that can really be called relationships....

No kids. No Ex spouse beating up on me for custody of our null children (child) .....

I guess I'm the fish, greenie, and newbie at life....kinda scary but kinda neat too...^_^

 

[Zamdrist]

Re: Is there a beginning stage?

I'm single....no previous relationships that can really be called relationships....

No kids. No Ex spouse beating up on me for custody of our null children (child) .....

I guess I'm the fish, greenie, and newbie at life....kinda scary but kinda neat too...^_^

We all have stages, of course. But because we are all so very different, and meet different people, our stages are also very different. When you look back on your life, you'll see them rather clearly.

If I may dole out a bit of advice, Sliver...I know a bit about your situation, as we have talked in the past. Most of all, you need to be with someone who truly respects you and loves you for who you are. We all do, of course, but I think you know what I mean.

 

[Silverluna]

Re: Re: Is there a beginning stage?

We all have stages, of course. But because we are all so very different, and meet different people, our stages are also very different. When you look back on your life, you'll see them rather clearly.

If I may dole out a bit of advice, Sliver...I know a bit about your situation, as we have talked in the past. Most of all, you need to be with someone who truly respects you and loves you for who you are. We all do, of course, but I think you know what I mean.

Thanks Zam...yeah i think i do....*think*