SqueeziesWorld - Re-branding and Advertising

Which strategy should "Jim" use

  • The only way I'd read a squeezies story is by accident. Go with the dog.

    Votes: 3 75.0%
  • I love squeezies! Your art needs bigger boobies, though. Or any boobies at all, really.

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • Yeah, and where's kid with the ginormous cock? What a gyp.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    4

BarbarouSevil

Really Experienced
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Posts
139
Figaro here. I'm helping my friend (let's call him "Jim") with some public relations work. He's looking for the one millionth reader for his "story," Ohhh...Mommy," I Groaned. I posted this on his thread.

This 1,000,000th reader thing is great, Jim. More power to you! What you need, though, is better advertising. I'm here to help. First of all, we're defining a "reader" as someone who clicks on the story, right? We don't actually care whether they read the frickin' thing or not, do we? No. We just need clicks.

First of all, I'd like to suggest a little "re-branding." This "scouries" thing just pisses people off now. It's abrasive (suggesting scouring powder). And frankly, you haven't really been Mr. Soothie here at the AH. So I'm thinking something softer, cuter, a little more friendly: squeezies.

Next comes the story itself. Two ways we can go on this one, sneaky or bold.

Sneaky would be like this.


(The sneaky part, you see, is that it links to your story. ;)

The bold way is what your sweetie tickledpink and her idiot friend mudboy use: cover art.


Again, there's a link to your story. They click, you got a reader. ;)

You're obviously way too busy with ScouriesWorld (sorry, SqueeziesWorld)and its vast empire to get involved in a pennyante decision like this. I'm going to post a poll on the AH to help you out. No, no. I'm just happy to help.

So here I am, asking for your help. Which strategy do you think is best? Remember, we're not really after readers, just viewers. Or even accidental clickers. Help out a fellow author. Sorry. "Author." It's up to you!
 
Figaro here. I'm helping my friend (let's call him "Jim") with some public relations work. He's looking for the one millionth reader for his "story," Ohhh...Mommy," I Groaned. I posted this on his thread.



So here I am, asking for your help. Which strategy do you think is best? Remember, we're not really after readers, just viewers. Or even accidental clickers. Help out a fellow author. Sorry. "Author." It's up to you!

Puppies always win.
 
Just when you thot the spamcrawlers couldn't sink any lower...:mad:
 
To make it real, you could always threaten the puppy with harm.

Or you could always threaten us with having to actually read the story.

:D
 
Alright, Fig. I'm going for squeezies. And you're right about the boobs.

Now, lay off my buddy. Oh, and BTW, it's tickledkitty. Ms. tickledkitty to you. :rolleyes:
 
To make it real, you could always threaten the puppy with harm.

Or you could always threaten us with having to actually read the story.

:D

or the dog dies? This is way beyond advertising. We're in Advanced Marketing now! Way to go, sara!
 
or the dog dies? This is way beyond advertising. We're in Advanced Marketing now! Way to go, sara!

National Lampoon magazine tried that stunt in the 70's and it didn't work. And their material was both funny and well written.

Give it up BS. :p

(Man, does that ever fit :D )
 
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