Sqournshellous Delta!

UBERMUNSCHIST

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Nov 26, 2007
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I am here to learn more about Myself and why I like the things that I do. :rolleyes:

I want to know more about munch etiquette, because I will like to take my learning offline.
 
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UBERMUNSCHIST said:
I am here to learn more about Myself and why I like the things that I do. :rolleyes:

I want to know more about munch etiquette, because I will like to take my learning offline.

I found it helpful to discuss etiquette with the person or people coordinating the event. I'm sure that each locale is somewhat different.

Basic BDSM etiquette is a good thing though. The little things like acknowledging the Dominant party in a relationship, and not just talking with the submissive person are a good start.

From my personal experience around here, it's just a meal with kinky people. Act like an adult, and be casual. Try not to be too blatant about the BDSM stuff. In other words dress normally and keep the bowing and scraping to a minimum. That's local etiquette though. YMMV.
 
Homburg said:
I found it helpful to discuss etiquette with the person or people coordinating the event. I'm sure that each locale is somewhat different.

Basic BDSM etiquette is a good thing though. The little things like acknowledging the Dominant party in a relationship, and not just talking with the submissive person are a good start.

From my personal experience around here, it's just a meal with kinky people. Act like an adult, and be casual. Try not to be too blatant about the BDSM stuff. In other words dress normally and keep the bowing and scraping to a minimum. That's local etiquette though. YMMV.

Thank You!
 
If it's a munch they will hopefully spot and make the newcomers feel welcome and ease the first time nervousness.

Just be relaxed, courteous, and take the effort in introducing yourself to others.
 
Rules you will encounter at most (but certainly not all) munches:

#1 - Dress casual. Jeans and polo or button down shirts or T's are normal for guys, jeans and shirts or skirts and blouses are normal for females.

#2 - NO OBVIOUS FETISH WEAR/COLLARS - unless you dress like a Goth kid normally, in which case, it's passed off as Goth, not fetish. But leave the leather chest harnesses, and leashes at home.

#3 - Don't touch without asking permission. FIRST.

#4 - Don't assume that a submissive at a munch is willing to serve you. If you haven't negotiated their submission, they aren't yours to use.

#5 - Don't let some asshole in black leather browbeat you into serving him/her. Just because they identify as a Dominant doesn't mean you've negotiated your submission to them.

#6 - Just because it's a munch and supposed to be "safe", don't assume that anyone there is any more real (or any less of a troll or asshat) than some schmoe off the internet. Munches have their share of predators, HNG's and pushy bastards/bitches as any place else.

Be smart, be safe, be aware, have fun!
 
=x=

Well, it was a lot different then I expected it to be.

The people there had more experience than I did (this is an understatement) but they were nice; they were also a lot older... :confused:

I now have a better focus on what I need.
 
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CutieMouse said:
What were you expecting and what was the reality?

Honestly, I didn't know what to expect.

I hope that my edit of the previous post explained the reality a bit more.
 
UBERMUNSCHIST said:
Well, it was a lot different then I expected it to be.

The people there had more experience than I did (this is an understatement) but they were nice; they were also a lot older... :confused:

I now have a better focus on what I need.
In my experience, members of a lot of BDSM, poly and swinger groups tend to be over 35, with many in their 40s and 50s. I went to Female Top speed dating a couple of weeks ago, and only about 2 out of 26 of the attendees were under 30 (me being one of them).

If you're younger (usually 18/21 to 30 or 35), you might look for a group/munch for people in your age group. Some are called "TNG" (The Next Generation) and others have different names. Seattle's is called "Ascension" for instance. Google 'bdsm group munch 18-30 yourstate' and similar to find such groups, or Geoff might be able to point you in the right direction if you give us a state, the nearest major city, etc. :)
 
SweetErika said:
In my experience, members of a lot of BDSM, poly and swinger groups tend to be over 35, with many in their 40s and 50s. I went to Female Top speed dating a couple of weeks ago, and only about 2 out of 26 of the attendees were under 30 (me being one of them).

If you're younger (usually 18/21 to 30 or 35), you might look for a group/munch for people in your age group. Some are called "TNG" (The Next Generation) and others have different names. Seattle's is called "Ascension" for instance. Google 'bdsm group munch 18-30 yourstate' and similar to find such groups, or Geoff might be able to point you in the right direction if you give us a state, the nearest major city, etc. :)

I didn't mind the fact that they were older. :eek:

I just felt like I was out of my league.
 
UBERMUNSCHIST said:
I didn't mind the fact that they were older. :eek:

I just felt like I was out of my league.


It takes time and patience to learn and grow in this lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight hun. Take it slow, read what you can get your hands on, ask questions about things... and getting involved in a local group if you want is another way. Just do so with an open mind.

Most of all relax and enjoy your journey. :)
 
It takes time and patience to learn and grow in this lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight hun. Take it slow, read what you can get your hands on, ask questions about things... and getting involved in a local group if you want is another way. Just do so with an open mind.

Most of all relax and enjoy your journey. :)

Thank You!;)
 
Yeah, what Dixicritter said.

Keep in mind that everyone is a beginner at some stage. I've only been involved in kink for a short time and others here even less so. It's reasonable to expect to be cut a little slack at first. If people make you feel like you have nothing to contribute as a newbie then they are not worthy of your time. I have heard that some of these gatherings can be very insular and not always receptive to new people, especially ones they have little common ground with outside of kink (e.g. the age group factor.)

People with that attitude really shouldn't be running open-to-all munch gatherings IMO but from what I've read it's more common than it should be.

Like EG said, look for genuine people who have a realistic rather than idealistic perspective on things.
 
You are taking your first steps into a much larger world...

Remember, this lifestyle is a journey and not a sprint. There is no set destination, so take your time and meander the path and enjoy the journey.
 
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